The Top Technique of a Scumbag

"..."

The guard was dumbfounded as well.

What the hell was going on?

Where had that tense, sword-drawn atmosphere gone?

How had it turned into lovebirds frolicking in the water?

For a moment, the guard began questioning his life.

Seeing Xiao Zhan's furious expression, he really wanted to say something.

Clan Leader, if I said I hadn't woken up yet, would you accept that explanation?

"Clan Leader, it was like this..."

Fortunately, Payne stepped in to smooth things over in time. Otherwise, Xiao Zhan really would have wanted to slap this guard silly.

Was he messing with him?

"What? That brat Xiao Lang became a Dou Master!?"

After hearing Payne's explanation, Xiao Zhan was not shocked at all. Instead, he looked at Payne suspiciously and said, "Do you take me for a senile old man?"

"A Lang was still a three-star Dou Practitioner this morning, and this afternoon you're telling me he became a Dou Master. Is that even possible?"

Hearing Xiao Zhan's words, Payne wore an equally helpless and understanding expression.

If he had not seen it with his own eyes, then if anyone dared tell him that someone had gone from a three-star Dou Practitioner to a Dou Master in half a day, he would have slapped them twice already.

Who were they trying to fool?

"Alright, Dad, stop making such a fuss. So what if I became a Dou Master in half a day? What's so surprising about that?"

Seeing his father arrive, Xiao Lang could not be too unrestrained. He stepped out from the crowd of women and looked at Xiao Zhan with disdain. "Do you know how embarrassing you are making me?"

"..."

Xiao Zhan's lips twitched as he silently pulled out his belt.

"Old baby, let's talk this out. Don't get handsy." Seeing this, Xiao Lang immediately walked over and held down Xiao Zhan's hand.

What a joke. He was only a Dou Master; he definitely was not a match for his Da Dou Shi father.

"At least you know what's good for you."

Only then did Xiao Zhan fasten his belt again. Looking at Xiao Lang, he asked, "Could it be that you had another enlightenment?"

That was the only explanation Xiao Zhan could think of.

After all, ten years ago, his son had experienced enlightenment once and directly gone from the third stage of Dou Qi to a Dou Zhe.

"That's right. Yesterday, I divorced my younger brother's wife on his behalf. I felt quite refreshed and gained a little insight. I never expected to break through directly to Dou Master. Looks like I have the potential to become a Dou Emperor after all." Xiao Lang released his Dou Qi gauze robe and spoke smugly.

After all, he could not tell Xiao Zhan about the system. Since he had already made up this enlightenment excuse before, he might as well keep using it.

Who would have thought that after seeing it, Xiao Zhan would say gloomily, "I only hope you do not take the wrong path again and fall back. Your old man's heart cannot take that."

"Don't worry, Dad. Your son's Dao heart is firm. I definitely won't take the wrong path this time."

Knowing Xiao Zhan was worried about him, Xiao Lang immediately patted his chest and promised.

"Alright, since you're fine, I'm heading back." Xiao Zhan was not as calm inside as he appeared. After all, a Dou Master under twenty years old possessed such monstrous talent that it would be enough to draw the attention of many people toward Xiao Lang.

He needed to prepare for the worst.

"Oh, right. Although you're an adult now, and there are some things your father can't control, let me give you some advice as someone who's been there. Young people should learn to share... Pah! Young people should learn restraint."

Halfway there, Xiao Zhan still could not help himself. He stopped without turning around and reminded Xiao Lang.

"..."

Xiao Lang's lips twitched. He was still a virgin, alright?

He truly had been a rather unsuccessful scumbag in this life.

"Hmph, I'm leaving too!"

Xiao Xun'er rolled her eyes beside them, pouted, and walked away unhappily.

Xiao Lang did not chase after her. Instead, he continued reading people's palms.

"Third Young Master, you're not going after her?"

Payne asked kindly.

"No need. Women just need to be coaxed after they calm down. The more you show that you care, the more they act up."

Xiao Lang did not care at all, because he had his trump card and could easily keep Xiao Xun'er in check.

Those without a trump card should not use this move, or it would only backfire. After all, an ordinary woman could be moved by sincerity alone.

That night.

Xiao Xun'er's room.

"Dead A Lang, stupid A Lang! All you know is how to take advantage of young girls!" Xiao Xun'er clutched a life-sized Xiao Lang pillow and beat it fiercely.

However, the figure on the pillow looked somewhat youthful. It was clearly custom-made by Xiao Lang three years ago when he went out to train, then given to Xiao Xun'er.

"He used to come comfort me right away. Why hasn't he come yet? Does he not like me anymore?"

Xiao Xun'er's eyes suddenly reddened, and she became anxious over gains and losses. It was a stark contrast to her usual indifferent demeanor in front of others.

"Is my little cutie there?"

Just then, Xiao Lang's voice came from outside.

"Yes... No!"

The moment Xiao Xun'er heard Xiao Lang's voice, her gloomy expression immediately blossomed into a delighted smile. But when she remembered that he had taken so long to come comfort her, she immediately said angrily.

"Since you're not there, I'll leave this jewelry at the door. If some kitten or puppy carries it off, don't blame me."

Xiao Lang knew that this girl's anger had not yet faded.

"You wouldn't dare!"

The moment she heard that Xiao Lang had bought her a gift, Xiao Xun'er immediately opened the door. Yet when she saw Xiao Lang standing there empty-handed, the smile on her face instantly turned to disappointment. Pouting, she said, "Big liar!"

"Hehe, who says so? Isn't the gift right here?"

Xiao Lang reached toward Xiao Xun'er's neck, as though he were about to pull her into his arms. Then, using a magic trick he had learned in his previous life, he produced the two pieces of jewelry he had picked up that afternoon.

Even more impressively, Xiao Lang moved so quickly that he put the necklace on Xiao Xun'er in an instant.

When she saw the bracelet in Xiao Lang's hand and the necklace already around her neck, more than half of Xiao Xun'er's grievance vanished at once.

"Don't be sad anymore. Part of the reason I came back so late was these two necklaces, because I had them custom-made and they took some time. But the more important reason was this."

As he spoke, Xiao Lang took out the necklace Xiao Xun'er had stared at for a long time at the street stall and said, "Did you like this one? I searched for a long time before I found that vendor."

"Huh? How did you know? Were you following me the whole time?" Xiao Xun'er looked at the necklace in Xiao Lang's hand, her eyes full of surprise and her heart full of happiness.

"Of course. I need to keep you within my sight at all times. Otherwise, if something happened to you, I'd be heartbroken."

Knowing that her anger had faded, Xiao Lang placed his broad palm on Xiao Xun'er's little head and gently rubbed it. Then he bent down, brought his face close to hers, and revealed a gentle smile. "Is Xun Er still angry with Big Brother?"

"..."

Looking at that handsome face so close to her own, Xiao Xun'er's heart raced like a hundred little deer. Hearing Xiao Lang's gentle voice and thinking of everything he had done for her, she completely melted.

Whether it was instinct or simply because the mood was right, Xiao Xun'er actually rose onto her toes and kissed him directly!

Feeling the softness and fragrance on his lips, Xiao Lang's lips curved upward.

This was the top technique of a scumbag.

He might seem as though he did not care about you, but in truth, every detail made you unable to break free and unable to resist.