The Gods Played a Joke on Me

Book Theme: When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back!

Spoiler Alert: This novel is lighthearted and comedic, with some plot alterations. Those with particular sentiments towards Xiao Yan or who are purists of the original work should exercise caution. Battle Through the Heavens is just the beginning; later, I will write about The Grand Sovereign, Martial Universe, Yuan Zun...

Blazing sun like fire, not a cloud in the sky.

On the bank of a river, a child of five or six years old sat on a large rock, legs crossed. He threw a large stone he held into the river with force, creating ripples.

"Your grandpa's grandma's grandpa, it's been almost six years. Heavens, how much longer are you going to toy with me!"

The child's name was Hun Han, the thirteenth son of the famous Hun Tiandi of the Dou Qi Continent.

Who was Hun Tiandi? He was one of the five strongest experts on the entire Dou Qi Continent. A super expert at the peak of a nine-star Dou Saint. In the near future, he would become the first super figure in history to break through to the Dou God realm.

Logically speaking, reincarnating as the son of such a prominent figure, covered in gold, should be a joyous occasion. After all, what era doesn't involve relying on your parents!

However, Hun Han couldn't be happy.

On the Dou Qi Continent, the strong reigned supreme. The weak were destined to be enslaved by the strong. Moreover, the Hun Clan, Hun Han's family, was known for its harsh martial traditions!

Hun Han was even more miserable than Xiao Yan. Both were transmigrators, but while Xiao Yan was a fallen genius, Hun Han was a genuine waste. Hun Han was born with blocked spiritual seas, unable to sense the Dou Qi present in the surrounding space.

Without the ability to sense Dou Qi, he naturally couldn't use it to temper his body. Let alone become a true Dou Practitioner!

Six years. For six years, Hun Han had endured countless scornful glances.

"Pfft!"

The more Hun Han thought about it, the angrier he became. He grabbed a nearby stone and hurled it into the river before him. He raised his middle finger, pointing at the heavens, and roared in frustration, "God, did you transmigrate me just to play with me as a waste? I'll curse your ancestors for eighteen generations!"

In his previous life, Hun Han was an unremarkable ordinary person in the Huaxia Empire. But at least he had food and clothing, could occasionally travel, have barbecue and drinks with friends, or even go for a massage. His life was quite enjoyable.

Now, after transmigrating to the Dou Qi Continent, his food and clothing were temporarily secured. However, in this world that revered martial arts, he could lose his life at any moment. Furthermore, he was the son of the infamous great demon, Hun Tiandi. How many eyes were secretly watching him, Hun Han!

In other words, Hun Han's life was currently precarious!

Suddenly, the sky, which had been clear for miles, became stormy with wind and lightning.

"Damn it, you're not even letting me curse you? If you have the guts, strike me!" Hun Han roared at the top of his lungs. When a person reaches peak shamelessness, they are invincible. Since his life was meaningless anyway, Hun Han cursed at the heavens without fear.

As if sensing Hun Han's wish, a silver streak of lightning tore through the void above and descended straight towards him.

"Young Master, be careful!"

From the forest beside the river, a magnetic voice rang out. Immediately, a black shadow shot out, attempting to block the lightning for Hun Han.

However, it was already too late.

"Ugh!"

Hun Han's expression was stunned. His body was charred black, and as he opened his mouth, a wisp of black smoke emerged. He looked as if he had just rolled out of a coal mine.

"Damn it, you actually came!"

Hun Han inwardly gasped. A tingling sensation spread throughout his body. Faint silver lightning still lingered around him.

"Ding dong!"

"Congratulations, System charge complete, Sign-in System activated!"

"Young Master, are you alright?"

A pleasant, melodious voice sounded in Hun Han's ear.

"Sign-in System, what the heck? Could this be my cheat?" Hun Han was overjoyed by the voice that suddenly appeared in his mind.

"Ding dong!"

"System successfully loaded the plot of Battle Through the Heavens!"

"Ding dong!"

"System Reminder: This system has three functions: Time Sign-in, Location Sign-in, and Character Sign-in! Would you like a detailed introduction to the system's three functions?"

"Holy crap, this is actually an intelligent system! Introduce them!" Hun Han commanded.

"Ding dong!"

"Time Sign-in Function: Every time a certain amount of time passes, the host can obtain fixed items through sign-in. Next sign-in time: 1 minute!"

"Location Sign-in Function: Every time the host reaches a designated location, they can complete a system-issued task to sign in and obtain fixed items."

"Character Sign-in Function: Every time the host has physical contact with an important character in the plot, the sign-in task can be automatically completed to obtain random items. This function can only be used once per person."

"Hahaha..."

Hun Han burst into laughter, overjoyed. "I finally have a cheat!"

Undoubtedly, this sign-in system was the cheat Hun Han had been desperately waiting for over the past six years! With a cheat, Hun Han would finally have the capital to contend with the favored children of heaven, especially Xiao Yan.

"Cheat?"

The graceful figure standing before Hun Han looked down at Hun Han's hands, which were pitch black. This... was hardly a cheat!

The figure's eyes were filled with anxiety. Gripping Hun Han's finger, she asked with concern, "Young Master, what's wrong? Don't scare Aunt Qin!"

"Ding dong!"

"Congratulations, you have had physical contact with Qin Lan, Sign-in successful. Obtained movement technique: Netherworld Ghost Shadow!"

Netherworld Ghost Shadow: Black Tier Intermediate Movement Technique. This technique is infinitely profound. Upon minor accomplishment, one can move like a ghost's shadow, swift as a gale. At the stage of great accomplishment, one can conjure an illusory clone, making it impossible to distinguish between reality and illusion.

"Holy crap, this actually works!"

Hun Han's eyes widened, and he stared speechlessly at the woman in black before him. Just by shaking her hand, he had actually obtained a Black Tier Intermediate Movement Technique!

The woman had almond-shaped eyes and a delicate face, with clear and bright features. She wore a tight black outfit that perfectly accentuated her curvaceous figure.

As his hands were held by her, a smooth sensation sent a ripple through Hun Han's heart.

The woman's name was Qin Lan, and she was Hun Han's personal bodyguard. Ever since Hun Han could remember, Qin Lan had been by his side at all times, silently protecting him.

Hun Han smiled faintly and said with a chuckle, "Aunt Qin, don't worry, I'm fine!"

Qin Lan's brows remained furrowed as she asked with concern, "Young Master, why were you talking nonsense just now, saying... 'golden finger'?"

Hun Han shook his head slightly. Explaining the Sign-in System was too troublesome, so Hun Han decided not to explain it at all. He smiled and said, "Aunt Qin, you just need to know that from now on, Hun Han, who is like the wind, has returned!"

"Uh!"

Qin Lan couldn't understand Hun Han's words at all. She checked Hun Han's body and, seeing that he was unharmed, asked curiously, "Young Master, what was that lightning just now?"

"It's nothing, just got struck by some blind idiot!" Hun Han said casually with a smile.

Suddenly, another bolt of lightning struck, turning the already charred Hun Han even blacker.

"See? Just like this!" Hun Han explained to Qin Lan, smoke rising from his mouth.

"Uh!"

Qin Lan looked at Hun Han in astonishment. If it were any ordinary person, that single bolt of lightning would have been enough to kill them. Even a Dou Grandmaster would have been severely injured, if not killed, by that lightning strike.

Yet, Hun Han, apart from being completely charred, was completely unharmed.

Qin Lan thought that Hun Han was a special case and didn't dwell on it. Suddenly remembering something, she said urgently, "Young Master, hurry up and go for the test! If you miss this test, you'll regret it forever!"