Professor, You Can't Run Away Hahaha

Snape stood outside the Diagon Alley shop like a sentry, his face dark, feeling like the days were becoming more and more turbulent.

He never would have imagined that one day he would have to stand guard for a Gryffindor's Mandrake while it shopped in Diagon Alley—a Mandrake that had bitten him just ten minutes prior!

Was he crazy?

Snape began to wonder if Rich's bite earlier had somehow rerouted the water in her brain to his.

The Mandrake inside was exclaiming and shouting in surprise, its voice like a loudspeaker, clear even through the thick glass.

"Wow, this candy looks good, wrap it up, wrap it up."

"This chocolate looks great too—what, it's got a liquor center? No, no, that won't do, children can't eat alcohol—wrap two pieces separately for me."

"Wow, this cake is so fun—Mister, do you have any with candy figures on top that don't move? Yes, I don't want ones that dance."

Snape's temple throbbed.

What annoyed him even more was that Diagon Alley was, after all, the busiest street in the wizarding world, and even though it was Christmas Day, there were still quite a few people.

People coming and going cast curious glances at him, this fool standing guard outside a candy shop alone on Christmas.

Snape: ...

He glared fiercely at each of them in turn.

"P-Professor Snape," a stammering voice sounded beside him, and a pale young man greeted him tremblingly, "You, you came to Diagon Alley in person?"

Heh, what a thing to say.

"Jones," Snape said, a cold curl of his lips, "I heard you became an apothecary after graduation. What, has your own brain been poisoned by your medicine?"

"Yes, yes... Ah, no, no, it's not." The young man called Jones looked like he was sweating profusely. He quickly wiped his brow. "I'm sorry, Professor Snape, I wish you a Merry Christmas."

Snape's expression soured further.

Jones couldn't bear the venomous gaze of the Snake King any longer, which seemed to drip poison, so he forced a smile onto his face and bolted towards the street corner.

A sharp cracking sound came from the street corner—he had been startled into Apparating.

Snape, unable to stand it any longer, was about to push the door open: "Esteemed Miss Richie—"

You've already wasted fifteen minutes in this one shop!

The door was pushed open from the inside at that very moment, and a small head nearly fell into his arms. Snape recoiled in disgust.

The owner of the head seemed completely oblivious. With a silly smile on her face and sparkling eyes, she asked him, "Professor, do you like any candy?"

"I didn't agree to spend Christmas with you."

Snape stated solemnly.

"Oh, even if it's not a holiday, eating candy together is still a happy thing."

Eliana, like a vibrant little sparrow, continued chirping, "Professor, do you eat fudge?"

Snape didn't want to acknowledge her.

Eliana's enthusiasm was undampened. She changed tactics: "Peppermint candy?"

Snape: "If you're done shopping, hurry up and leave. Fifteen minutes have already passed."

"Treacle tart? Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans? Candied pineapple? Chocolate banana ice cream boat?"

Eliana pretended not to hear and continued to ask with pleading eyes.

Snape was about to walk away.

"Hey, hey, hey—" Eliana quickly grabbed his robe, "I won't ask anymore, I won't ask anymore, I'll go pay now and leave immediately."

She smiled ingratiatingly, and her head quickly retracted back into the shop.

Snape let out a breath of impatience through his nose.

Fortunately, Richie wasn't too slow. Soon, Eliana, laden with bags, darted out. Her outward appearance now perfectly matched her inner character—a foolish little turtle.

"Can we go?"

Snape turned, ready to find a place to Apparate—he had had enough of today!

His robe was pulled again.

Snape's face turned so dark he looked like he might flay someone at random on the street.

Eliana grinned ingratiatingly, revealing her little tiger teeth, her voice small and seemingly very well-behaved: "I, I still want to go to The Leaky Cauldron, there's no meat to buy here."

Snape looked down at her expressionlessly.

"Please." She opened her big, watery eyes at Snape pitifully, "Our house hasn't had a proper meat feast in a long time."

Snape: ...

Eliana: ☆▽☆

Snape: .

Eliana: QAQ ɵ̷̥̥᷄᎔ɵ̷̥̥᷅ orz

Snape exhaled heavily: "Ten minutes, Richie."

Eliana: Yay! (≧∀≦)

After waiting for half an hour, because Eliana bought so many things, Bartender Tom's hands were almost rubbed raw. Finally, he finished preparing her order: twenty butterbeer-baked pasties, twenty with chicken, twenty with beef, thirty Cornish pasties, eight roast chickens, and forty chicken legs and wings.

"Does your orphanage house a three-headed hellhound?"

Snape, whose face had gone numb from waiting, asked calmly.

Eliana offered a pained smile.

"Alright, Miss Richie," Snape stood up composedly. "Now, you leave Diagon Alley and return to your orphanage. I will return to my Spinner's End."

His robe was pulled again, the collar choking him and making him lean back.

"What, is, it, now?"

Eliana clutched the fabric in her hand, looking up like a pitiful little kitten. "Professor, could you take me back? I have too many things, I can't carry them all—we underage wizards can't use magic outside of school—and I'm afraid of being robbed on the way."

Her long eyelashes fluttered expectantly like little fans, her pale pink cheeks slightly puffed out, making her look very cute.

In Snape's eyes, it was just infuriating.

Eliana: Looking up.jpg

Eliana: Staring.jpg

"London Hope House Orphanage, by Vauxhall Bridge."

Snape, unable to stand it any longer, growled, "Richie, your detention is extended until after final exams!"

He grabbed Eliana by the scruff of her neck, and with his other hand, he flicked his wand in the air.

The world spun for an entire day, and they landed in a familiar alley. As their feet touched the ground, the items Eliana had just bought rained down around them.

Snape waved his wand again, and the large bags and packages were neatly piled to one side.

He looked coldly at Eliana, whose eyes were spinning with stars, "So—"

Eliana, who looked so dizzy she couldn't understand a word, suddenly lunged forward, grabbed his thigh, and yelled at the orphanage's main door:

"Susan! Susan! Come out quickly! Come out! I met my teacher while shopping, and he brought me back without even stopping for a drink, so hurry and help me stop him!!"

Snape's pupils widened at this sudden move. He momentarily forgot to tear Eliana off—and thus missed the best time to leave.

Mrs. Brown, wearing an apron, rushed out in a hurry, still holding an empty plate she hadn't put down.

"What's wrong? What happened?" she asked anxiously.

Eliana triumphantly loosened her grip on his thigh slightly.

According to the Witchcraft Secrecy Act, no wizard can use magic in front of non-magical people. Professor Snape can't escape now, hahaha.