Attacking Classmates with Deformed Nose Boogers

Perhaps because she wasn't used to the new place, or perhaps because she'd eaten too much and the bed was too soft, Eliana slept a deep, heavy sleep, not opening her eyes until 7:15 the next morning.

The moment she realized the time, Eliana scrambled out of bed in a tumbling rush.

She couldn't believe it—she'd actually slept this late, and she'd gone to bed before ten yesterday!

Today was the first day of school!

She hadn't even reviewed her textbooks once!

Eliana, Eliana, how could you sink so low!

Eliana dashed into the bathroom.

Eliana burst out of the dormitory.

Parvati, across from her, mumbled drowsily, "What the heck just shot out of here?"

Lavender didn't even open her eyes. "Some big black rat must've run into the wrong dorm."

Eliana was already seated at the Gryffindor table, mixing fried eggs, mashed potatoes, and sausages into her bread, wolfing it down to fill her stomach quickly.

"There's a Transfiguration class this morning." She studied the newly issued schedule. "I can squeeze in time to preview the first chapter in detail—damn it, I've memorized these lines well enough, but some of them I just can't grasp the meaning. That's because I've never dealt with this before—I'm behind!"

She tugged anxiously at her hair. "Where's my notebook—my quill, my wand, good, all here."

She counted off her gear like a general mustering troops. "Now, hurry back to the dorm to grab my books!"

Eliana shot back to the dorm like lightning and sparks, then rushed straight to the classroom without stopping.

Sure, she didn't know the way, but she had a mouth.

The portrait at the Gryffindor entrance was smart enough to be a gatekeeper—there was no way the portraits in the corridors were idiots who didn't even know their own neighborhood, or rather, living environment?

And those portraits were really enthusiastic, especially a girl wearing a flower crown—Eliana just glanced at her as she passed—and she chased after her into another frame just to chatter away—so by the time Eliana reached the second floor, she already knew Dumbledore's underwear was red today.

Not that she needed to know Dumbledore's underwear color—could she sell that info for Galleons?

But she was a blabbermouth.

The two of them yakked all the way, and sometimes when they passed other frames, the portraits inside would chime in too, then reluctantly follow along, so that by the time they reached the Transfiguration classroom, a dozen or so people of all ages were crammed into the portrait by the door.

"What's going on, what's going on!"

The original occupant, a nineteenth-century sailor, was pressed flat against the frame, his face distorted, and he shouted in panic, "Don't you have your own frames? Has the colonial expansion craze spread to the portrait world?!"

"Shut up, you idiot, do you think we're you?" The flower-crown girl took off her wreath and whacked him with it, then turned to Eliana with a beaming smile. "Well, sweetie, we'll see you here. Bye!"

"Bye!"

Eliana plunged into the Transfiguration classroom and looked around—perfect, she was the first one here!

She marched triumphantly to the seat directly in front of the lectern, slammed her book down with a thwack, and the noise was so loud it made the cat on the desk twitch its ear and poke its head out.

"Wow—no wonder it's a magic school," Eliana said, looking up at the tabby cat. "This cat looks smarter than Ron."

Whether it was her imagination or not, she felt the cat was staring at her with a very serious expression.

See? She said this cat was smart—it even glares when it catches a student not studying the second they walk in!

Eliana remembered that witches in stories usually had a cat, and looking at this one's markings, almost identical to Professor McGonagall's glasses frames, it suddenly clicked—

This cat was a teaching assistant! A sneaky way for the professor to observe students' study habits during breaks, from an angle no one would expect!

For some reason, Eliana felt this tactic was oddly familiar, like she'd seen it many times before—but the orphanage classrooms didn't have surveillance cameras either. They had to save electricity just to keep the lights on; where would they get the spare cash for that?

Was it from her past memories?

Eliana angrily punched herself in the head. Useless lump of a brain—a little fever and it goes and gets amnesia!

If you're going to forget, just forget everything! But no, you have to randomly pop up with bits and pieces that itch at my heart, and then when I seriously try to think, I can't remember what any of it means!

What's the difference between that and feeling like you need to poop, sitting on the toilet, and not being able to squeeze anything out?!

Eliana bonged herself in the head again. Stupid brain, you're stuck on my body—do you think I can't handle you?

She caught a glimpse of the tabby cat on the desk looking utterly shocked, and immediately snapped to attention.

You know the teacher sends little spies to secretly observe students during breaks.

You know you're the only student here right now, and the spy has its eyes on you.

Now's the time to show off—when else? First impressions are everything!

Eliana pretentiously flipped open her book with dainty fingertips, marked up the first chapter with notes, then cleared her throat and recited it from start to finish.

"I still have the impression from previewing over the summer break, but since I've never dealt with this before, I've memorized a lot of concepts without really understanding them. I need to listen carefully in class later."

Eliana muttered to herself, then, as she opened her notebook, she stole a glance from the corner of her eye—

Sure enough, she saw the cat's whiskers twitch, looking somewhat satisfied.

Eliana strained to analyze the expression behind that furry cat face.

As expected, no one! Could be better! At sucking up to the teacher!

Eliana puffed out her chest, nostrils aimed at the ceiling in pride.

After indulging in self-admiration for a moment, she disciplined herself to stop and immersed back into the textbook.

As the class bell rang, the cat on the podium leaped down and transformed into Professor McGonagall.

!!!

Eliana's eyes went wide: So amazing! I want to learn!

But Professor McGonagall didn't teach that.

She just sternly laid out the class rules, like "no disrupting class" and "transfiguration is very complex and dangerous"—Eliana nodded vigorously in agreement at that point; Mrs. Brown's exploded chair could testify!

Perhaps because of Eliana's pre-class comment about "not understanding the concepts," Professor McGonagall explained each one in detail when lecturing on the theory—of course, those concepts were still complicated and obscure, like a tangled ball of yarn, but everyone could at least see a bit of the thread's end.

Eliana's confidence soared—her brain felt like it got it!

Then Professor McGonagall gave everyone a match and told them to practice turning it into a needle.

Eliana ran through the relevant theory from Professor McGonagall's explanation in her mind, full of confidence as she flexed her wand-wrist—ready—the match exploded with a bang, burning up in midair.

Damn it, she'd been frying chestnuts too much before school started, and reflexively threw out a Little Firecracker spell as a warm-up.

She slunk back to get another match from Professor McGonagall.

This time she didn't dare pull any tricks, dutifully muttering the incantation twice—making sure it was accurate—and mimicking Professor McGonagall's demonstrated wand movement.

A familiar sensation surged up, as if a warm current gathered inside her body, then burst out from the wand through her fingertips.

The match flickered and turned into a dull, gray toothpick stub, like it had been scorched.

Something seemed off—damn, it was the earlier exploding match affecting her!

Eliana shook the image of that burnt stub from her mind and re-brainwashed herself—she was supposed to turn it into a silver needle, a shiny, gleaming, dazzling... ah, if only it could turn into silver beans instead.

She couldn't even imagine how cheerful a little girl she'd be then!

Eliana's drool of longing leaked from the corner of her mouth.

"Ow!"

Neville beside her, nervous from Professor McGonagall's approach, fumbled and knocked his ink bottle to the floor. The loud noise made him jump like a rabbit, bumping into Ron, who was secretly picking his nose.

The little snack loosened from Ron's nose was about to fall out!

Eliana:!!!

She instinctively tried to poke Ron away with her wand, forgetting she'd already finished chanting the incantation.

She heard Hermione scream as silver beans clattered out of Ron's nose, about to rain down on her.

Thinking about what those were made of, Eliana's pupils shrank.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

She shouted the incantation.

The silver beans shot up and hovered in midair—but before she could breathe a sigh of relief, it seemed her excitement during casting made them not stop, instead flying upward violently.

Bang bang bang bang, like cannonballs, they fired back one after another to their place of origin.

"Help!!!"

The silver beans drilled into Ron's nostrils, and he only managed one last wail before his eyes rolled back and he fainted.

Eliana lost a point for transfiguring boogers to attack a classmate—no, for disrupting class order.