Don't Call Me Master, Call Me Director!
Chapter 37

New Project: Fate/Zero

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13d ago•

"Man, I hope the critics don't go too far." The publicity department manager rubbed his increasingly endangered hairline and let out a sigh.

That was the Japanese for you—stubborn to a fault. If this had happened in a Western country, the first thing they'd do after seeing critics lose their influence would be to apply pressure and force them to back down, not worry themselves sick over how to mend the relationship.

Unlike Toho, which had become embroiled in infighting, Bandai was currently united as one.

As FSN conquered theaters across Japan, Bandai was raking in money not only from the box office, but from its related toys, too. They couldn't make them fast enough to keep up with demand.

The Excalibur toys sold at movie theater concession stands were especially popular with fans. Nearly a third of everyone who saw the film chose to buy one and swing it around.

Just like the Lightsabers from Star Wars in another world, Excalibur had become not only a symbol of FSN, but also its iconic commercial brand.

What made Bandai even happier was that Matou Shinji hadn't been bluffing. He had really reached an agreement with Jidai Group, allowing Bandai's products to enter the Western market.

Perhaps she genuinely didn't care about the profits from merchandise, or perhaps she wanted to prove her sincerity with this gesture. Chloe actually agreed to let Bandai sell its merchandise through Jidai Group's channels. She didn't haggle over the revenue split, either, asking only for a small fee to cover costs.

It was undoubtedly a good start for Bandai. Even if the products they could sell were limited to FSN merchandise, it gave them hope for the future.

In short, everyone involved with FSN was delighted throughout May—everyone except Master Shinji.

While everyone else was busy making money hand over fist from the film, Shinji was short on cash.

Under normal circumstances, Shinji shouldn't have been short on money. The distributors who had bought the domestic distribution rights to FSN at Cannes had already wired the money to Type-Moon Company's account, and Bandai had just paid Type-Moon its share of the film's first round of profits.

This should have been the moment when Type-Moon Company was flush with cash and everyone enjoyed the fruits of their success. Instead, Master Shinji was broke as hell.

The reason was simple. When the company divided up the money, Shinji hadn't counted the cost of summoning Heroic Spirits as part of the film's budget. He'd charged it to his own account instead.

Don't underestimate that expense. The fee for renting Ley Lines from the Tohsaka family was one thing, but the Heroic Spirits' catalysts alone had cost a small fortune.

Catalysts were basically antiques. Whether you bought or rented them, they cost a lot of money.

After doing the math, Shinji hadn't just missed out on FSN's first profit payout—he actually owed the company a little money.

Shinji had chosen to cover the summoning costs himself for a reason.

Most film companies would include that expense in the production budget. But if he did that, the cost of the Heroic Spirit Actors would be about the same as that of ordinary celebrity actors. That would wipe out their advantage of being both high-quality and inexpensive.

So, to promote Heroic Spirit Actors, Shinji had no choice but to shoulder the expense himself, reducing the film's spending on actors as much as possible.

Compared to the ever-rising fees of celebrity actors, summoning Heroic Spirits was a one-time expense. It was obviously a much better deal.

Though Shinji had made that choice for the sake of the future, it didn't change the fact that his pockets were currently emptier than his face was clean.

Actually, that wasn't entirely accurate. Zouken, who doted on his grandson, still gave Second Master spending money.

Five thousand yen wasn't a small allowance for an ordinary high school student, but it really wasn't enough for Shinji. He couldn't even afford a night out in Tokyo's red-light district.

And that wasn't even mentioning how Shinji's little sister Sakura kept tempting him to buy Artoria's photo books and private videos.

Master Shinji found it pretty strange, too. On the day he came back, Artoria had gone on a rampage through the Matou Residence. She'd nearly torn the whole building apart.

It was hard to believe that Sakura had managed to keep those things safe without Artoria finding out.

It also made Shinji realize that his little sister had him completely wrapped around her finger.

"Damn it, she even got Artoria to wear an outfit like that... I really want to see it."

To get out of his financial predicament, Shinji made a momentous decision.

"Everyone!"

Shinji slammed his hand down on the conference table and announced to everyone in the office, "We're going to start preparing to shoot a new movie."

"Master, really?!"

Cú Chulainn sprang to his feet, hands braced on the table, as excited as a dog in heat.

"Master, am I the lead in the new movie?"

Big Dog was very confident as he asked. As far as he was concerned, none of the Heroic Spirits could match his acting skills.

But Shinji's merciless reply shattered his hopes.

"Unfortunately, Cú Chulainn, you won't be playing a major role in this film."

As he spoke, Shinji's gaze swept over the other Heroic Spirits.

"Archer, Medusa, and Uncle Hai, none of you will be playing major roles, either."

The Heroic Spirits he'd named all nodded, accepting what Shinji had said.

Red A and Rider weren't particularly interested in acting in movies, so they didn't object. Uncle Hai was an obedient, well-behaved boy. Since his Master said he wasn't in it, he accepted that.

Only Cú Chulainn was dissatisfied. He slapped the table hard, making it go "bang, bang."

"Master, why won't you let me play a role?! That's not fair!" Cú Chulainn complained loudly. "That stuck-up Golden Gil gets to be in the movie, but a hardworking, dependable model worker like me doesn't get to play anything!"

"Because..."

Shinji rubbed his forehead with a sigh and tossed a proposal onto the table. The words Fate/Zero were clearly printed on the white cover.

"The new movie is a prequel to FSN."

Shinji had chosen FZ as his second film out of necessity.

With FSN gaining traction, choosing another story from the Fate series for the second film was the safest way to capitalize on its popularity, consolidate its fanbase, and expand its influence.

But despite all the stories in Type-Moon's Fate series, there really wasn't anything else they could turn into a movie at this point.

The first things Shinji ruled out were the other two story routes in FSN. He understood perfectly well: the new film needed to capitalize on FSN's popularity, but it couldn't rely on it completely. It was far too soon to start rehashing FSN.

Among the remaining Fate stories, setting aside the bottomless pit that was FGO, most works bearing the Fate name either rode on FSN's popularity or rode on the popularity of works that rode on FSN's popularity.

Whatever their stories were like, most of them were high-barrier works aimed at fans, not suitable for a general audience.

This situation had come about because Type-Moon was a doujin circle. The Fate IP had been developed without any coordinated commercial planning, and had ultimately become a complete mess.

After careful consideration, Master Shinji found only three Fate stories he could use at the moment: the tragic fairy tale of love, Sister Bazett's Groundhog Day, and the love legend of the biased-referee Jeanne.

Pfft.

He meant Fate/Zero, Fate/hollow ataraxia, and Fate/Apocrypha.

The first one Shinji ruled out was the acclaimed work by "Magical Higashide," FA. Its excessive cast of characters, problematic script, and confusing parallel-world setting all made it unsuitable for release at this stage.

The second one he ruled out was Fha, for an even simpler reason: the story itself wasn't suitable for a film adaptation.

Fha's story was far too scattered. Its episodic, event-triggered format was designed from the ground up to fit a game.

You couldn't say Fha had no main plot, but its fragmented storyline was a lot like Big Dog in Carnival Phantasm.

Except for the final character-focused chapter, all you got was a fleeting glimpse of his miserable death.

A story structured like Fha could be adapted for film or television, but Shinji was convinced it would be better suited to a TV series.

That left FZ, a prequel, as the only viable option among countless possibilities.

Of course, Shinji didn't need to explain his choice of subject to the others in the office. He only had to show them the final result.

"I've written up the concept for the new film in the proposal. Take a look, and let me know if you have any questions."

As he handed a copy of the proposal to everyone present, Shinji reminded the Heroic Spirits who didn't have acting roles, "Even though you won't be playing major characters, you'll still be part of the shoot. You might be doubles or work as crew members."

"Matou Shinji, you could be a little more direct," Red A said irritably. "Just call us Tool Persons."

"That's not a very nice thing to call you," Shinji said, rubbing his nose awkwardly.

Red A merely gave a couple of cold laughs at Shinji's attempt to have it both ways.

Shinji pretended not to notice Red A's expression and guiltily turned his head away.

"Hmm... Is Saber the lead again?" Sakura said, glancing over the proposal with a raised eyebrow. "You really do love her, don't you, brother?"

Shinji helplessly spread his hands. "What can I say? Artoria's the most popular right now. This is a commercial movie, so naturally I have to consider the business side of things."

Artoria raised her hand with a frown. "But... Master, does this script even count as a commercial movie?"

After being tricked by Sakura with May Sickness, Artoria had started reading more than just the shoujo manga Rin gave her.

Having crammed a good deal of modern cultural knowledge, Artoria knew a little about the current state of the film industry.

Shinji's dark, brutal script didn't fit the straightforward commercial movies he'd been talking about. It seemed more like the sort of dark film that explored the ugly side of human nature.

Even without comparing it to other films on the market, it was easy to see the difference between this story and FSN.

If FSN was the coming-of-age story of a girl who was King Arthur, then FZ was Fuyuki City's Battle Royale: No One Survives.

It wasn't dark; it was even darker. Of the nearly twenty major characters in the whole film, Waver was the only one who wasn't completely insane.

Actually, in a script full of lunatics, the normal Waver seemed like the abnormal one.

"Yeah..." Cú Chulainn finished reading and commented on the script. "Master, doesn't the 'Zero' on the cover mean there'll be zero survivors?"

Shinji glared at him. "Who said that? Three Masters and one Servant survive, don't they?"

Rider, who'd been silent until then, offered her opinion. "If I remember right, Kiritsugu Emiya was already dead in your FSN script, wasn't he?"

"..."

"And Kirei Kotomine and Gilgamesh both bit the dust in FSN, too."

Sakura delivered another backstab to her brother.

"So that means Waver, who went back to Britain, won't have a good ending either?"

"But that Waver is still alive right now, isn't he?"

"How many people who are alive in real life have died in Master's scripts? Kiritsugu Emiya's still alive, too, but that didn't stop him from dying."

"Maybe that person called Waver will die in a plane crash on his flight back to Britain..."

"Enough!"

Seeing his Heroic Spirits say wilder and wilder things, Master Shinji had no choice but to raise his voice and drown them out.

"I'm making Fate, not Death Comes! How could Waver possibly die like that?! I'm planning to have him act in the spin-off stories and rake in money... Ahem, I mean, build up his popularity with the spin-offs."

Realizing he'd said what he was thinking, Shinji quickly changed his words.

Sakura rested a finger against her chin and said as though she'd just thought of something, "Waver's the one in Britain who handles all your odd jobs, right? You keep making him work and now you want him to act in your movie, too. Be careful, or he really might die from overwork one day."

Shinji waved a hand with a laugh. "As if. Waver's got an iron liver. You could double his workload and he'd still be fine."

"Achoo!"

Far away, at the Clock Tower in London, Waver let out a loud sneeze.

"Have you caught a cold?"

Kenseth looked up at the sound of the sneeze.

"Maybe." Waver pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've had too much work lately."

Kenseth spoke gently. "You should take care of yourself. Don't overdo it. Turn down the work Matou Shinji gives you whenever you can."

"Professor..."

Seeing his mentor show so much concern for him, Waver felt a little touched.

"You're the backbone of our Modern Magecraft Department. If you fall ill, our department will be in trouble." Kenseth handed Waver a thick stack of files. "Here, take care of these for me."

"...All right, Professor."

Waver sighed and accepted his fate.

"Well, the more capable you are, the more you have to do. An outstanding talent like Waver Velvet naturally has to shoulder a heavier burden than everyone else."

After saying this, Shinji nodded repeatedly, as if he'd moved himself.

But Sakura had noticed a problem. "Wait, brother. Isn't Mr. Velvet still a boy in your script? How are you going to have him play himself?"

"That's easy. I've already thought of a good solution." Master Shinji pointed at Gilgamesh. "We'll have Gilgamesh give Waver a Rejuvenation drug."

"A Rejuvenation drug, huh..."

Gilgamesh curled his lips in a mocking smile. He leaned back in his chair, adopting a tactical recline.

"Hey, Shinji."

Gilgamesh smacked the proposal against the table and scowled. "Didn't you say you'd summon Enkidu to make a movie with me? Then what's this?"

End of Chapter
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