The Einzbern Castle Deep in the Mountains / Rin Tohsaka: Forever the Mechanical-Engineering Dunce

"That's right, Director."

Though it was only the faintest smile, Artoria had indeed smiled.

Shinji, who had been about to pick up his coffee again, froze in place, still holding the cup.

"What a terrifying charm. I almost got swept up in it myself. This proud knight really is worth winning over."

Shinji muttered under his breath.

"Come to think of it... this should count as a truly natural performance, right? Letting the actors play themselves. If it works, we should roll this out across the whole film crew."

Usually, a natural performance meant an actor playing a character who was very much like them in real life. Such a role could feel the most natural to an audience. Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey Jr., was the perfect example.

On the FSN Film Crew, every lead actor was playing their counterpart from a Parallel world. Rather than forcing them to act, letting them be themselves would make for a more convincing performance.

"No wonder my brother makes me so proud. He really is a genius."

Sakura praised him sincerely.

Master Shinji puffed out his chest proudly. "Of course. Just look at who your brother is."

But Sakura's expression instantly darkened. "Indeed. No wonder you're Clock Tower's famous playboy. You flirt with girls so naturally, without the slightest hint of awkwardness."

"Wait! Sakura, what are you doing?"

Shinji's eyelids twitched wildly.

Without him noticing, Sakura had already put far too many sugar cubes into his cup. The undissolved cubes had piled up into something like a pyramid.

"Your mouth is so sweet, big brother. You must love sweet things. Here, have some more sugar, so you'll be sweet enough when you flirt with Saber later."

"You little brat, are you trying to give your own brother diabetes?"

Deep in the Mountains, Einsbern Castle

After Shinji came up with the idea of using cue cards to help the actors deliver their lines, filming became just a tiny bit easier over the next few days.

Unfortunately, only a tiny bit.

The actors' improved line delivery couldn't hide the many other problems on the FSN Film Crew.

After all, film was a composite art, and making one involved many different elements.

Besides the dialogue, problems with blocking, lighting, sound effects, and all the other details could affect the footage captured by the camera.

The main reason for these problems was that this was Shinji's first movie and he lacked experience. Another important factor was that, aside from a few key positions, most of the FSN Film Crew were amateurs.

There wasn't much Shinji could do. They were filming in his hometown of Fuyuki, far from major film-industry cities like Tokyo and Kyoto.

Apart from the cinematographer and lighting technician, whom they'd hired long-term and who were willing to come to Fuyuki, they had to rely on locals for the various odd jobs that paid poorly.

The crew was packed with rookies, but hiring them was cheap and didn't cost much.

As for the crew's overall performance, it was the perfect demonstration of the saying, "You get what you pay for."

Fortunately, a commercial film like FSN didn't demand much of its dialogue scenes. For the action scenes, with Heroic Spirits on hand, Shinji only had to worry about the camera work and the editing afterward.

So even though the production wasn't running very smoothly, Shinji still managed to lead everyone through the shoot, bit by bit.

Those past few days had also given Shinji a full appreciation of the truth: watching movies and learning how to make them was one thing; actually making one was another.

The gap between the two wasn't exactly small. At the very least, it was as wide as the difference in cup size between Artoria Saber and Artoria Lancer.

Despite all the difficulties, Shinji had never considered abandoning the film.

At this point, giving up wasn't an option anyway. Shinji had already invested nearly a million dollars in this movie alone. That didn't even include the additional investments he'd made over the years to break into the film industry. The money had come from both the Matou Family and other Mage families he was working with.

If Shinji really gave up, the Mage families who had bet on him would tear him to pieces.

Still, even though Shinji was determined to see it through, the crew's performance was bound to frustrate him.

Actually, there was someone else just as frustrated as Shinji: Shirou Emiya, the owner of Emiya Residence and Shinji's good friend.

To save money on sets, Shinji had decided to film on location. As a result, the crew had practically taken over the entire Emiya Residence.

When Shinji had first told Shirou about it, Shirou had thought they could finish in about a week. But the crew ended up taking several weeks, all told.

The crew members didn't live at Emiya Residence, but much of their equipment and props were piled inside. The once-spacious house had been reduced to a few narrow paths to walk through.

One night, Shirou got up to use the bathroom and nearly wet himself when he saw a blood-covered corpse of his own body lying in the hallway.

After turning on the lights, he realized it was a stand-in dummy of himself for filming.

"Shinji, can't you get them to put their props away properly?"

The next day, Shirou gave Shinji a good scolding.

Shinji shrugged helplessly. "Can't be helped. That thing can't be folded up and put away without leaving marks."

"Honestly, if I didn't have school, I'd go live in the mountains with Dad and the others."

Since the filming was taking up so much space, the crafty Kiritsugu Emiya had gone off early with his wife, Irisviel, to Einsbern Castle in the mountains for some alone time.

Shirou rubbed his temples. "At least Illya's staying with a classmate these days. Otherwise, she'd have been scared to tears."

Thinking of that silver-haired little devil from his memories, Shinji grimaced.

"No, I think she might've run over and kicked it."

"That's possible..." Thinking of just how mischievous his little sister could be, Shirou nodded in agreement.

"But you don't need to envy your dad." Shinji clapped one hand on Shirou's shoulder and gave him a thumbs-up with the other. "Once we finish filming here, I'm going to make a mess of Einsbern Castle in the mountains."

"Um... please go easy on them."

Seeing how excited his friend was, a bead of cold sweat trickled down Shirou's temple.

Fortunately, although Emiya Residence was an important location in the film, it didn't appear in that many shots.

After causing a commotion there for a few more days, Shinji finally wrapped up filming and led the crew into the mountains outside Fuyuki to make a mess of the rich family's castle.

"We're here. This is the place."

Three vans and two minibuses pulled up in front of the gates to Einsbern Castle.

Shinji was the first to jump off the bus. He immediately called out, "Unload everything, quick! Let's try to shoot a scene before the sun sets and see how it looks!"

And so Artoria, the King of the Knights; Medusa, the snake-haired monster; Cú Chulainn, the fierce hound; and Heracles, the great hero—along with the other Heroic Spirits—found themselves with a new job: loaders.

Shinji had discovered another advantage to hiring Heroic Spirits as actors: they could serve as free labor for the crew.

These Heroic Spirits might not be able to fight in the Holy Grail War, but compared to ordinary people, they were built like tanks. They had no trouble moving things around or doing heavy labor.

"Having Heroic Spirits move things around—you really do come up with all sorts of new ideas, Shinji."

Watching the Heroic Spirits carry things in and out, Irisviel, who was waiting at the castle gate to greet them, teased him with a smile.

"Can't help it. I'm just being frugal!"

Shinji replied with a grin.

"Shinji, long time no see."

Kiritsugu nodded to Shinji in greeting.

"Hello, Uncle Kiritsugu."

Shinji held out his hand and greeted Kiritsugu politely.

Smack.

Kiritsugu gripped Shinji's hand firmly. As they shook hands, he also gave Shinji a quiet warning.

"Shinji, there's something you'd better keep in mind," Kiritsugu warned. "Work is work, but outside of that, you'd better keep your distance from Illya."

"I... I understand."

The corner of Shinji's mouth twitched, and his expression stiffened a little.

It wasn't as if Shinji had any intention of making a move on Illya, but hearing that from Kiritsugu just felt... a little rich.

Uncle Kiritsugu, you're the one who eloped with your employer. You're in no position to say that. Have you forgotten how you ended up marrying your wife?

Shinji grumbled inwardly.

With mystery in decline, the homunculus technology of the Einsbern family wasn't as advanced as Shinji remembered. They couldn't create people capable of functioning normally like ordinary humans.

In this world, Irisviel was a true-born daughter of the Einsbern family, and she was also the family's heir.

Under normal circumstances, in a world without a Holy Grail War in Fuyuki, Irisviel and Kiritsugu shouldn't have had any chance to meet.

But the story of the Emiya family made Shinji sincerely praise the wonders of fate.

Eleven years ago, during one of Irisviel's outings, the Einsbern family hired Kiritsugu, who was working as a mercenary at the time, to serve as her bodyguard.

It really had been a fated romance. In just a few days, Irisviel fell in love with the mercenary mage and eloped with him to Japan, pursued by the Einsbern family.

After a moving battle to protect their love, Kiritsugu finally married into the Einsbern family, won the hand of a rich heiress, and reached the pinnacle of life.

As a side note, as far as Shinji knew, Kiritsugu had adopted the young orphan Shirou because he thought he'd be single for the rest of his life and wanted someone to look after him in his old age.

But less than a year after adopting Shirou, Kiritsugu eloped with Irisviel.

Shinji couldn't help marveling at the power of the Counter Force's inertia. It was truly something else.

"Fate really is a mysterious thing."

Shinji muttered quietly.

Fortunately, Kiritsugu had only heard about Shinji's outrageous exploits at the Clock Tower and was worried he might do something out of line.

After warning Shinji, Kiritsugu left him alone and went with Irisviel to greet the rest of the crew.

But someone else wasn't about to let Shinji off so easily.

"Heh-heh."

Shinji had just turned to direct the set work when he heard a mocking chuckle from behind him.

"Good news travels slowly; bad news travels fast. Even Uncle Kiritsugu knows about the mess you got up to at the Clock Tower."

Shinji turned around and saw a certain red twin-tailed devil crossing her arms and smirking at him.

Tohsaka: Forever the Mechanically Challenged Rin

She wore a red top under a beige winter coat. Her slender waist was endearingly delicate, and below her black skirt were shapely legs wrapped in black stockings.

Her glossy black hair fell past her shoulders, tied into neat, practical twin tails. Even in the dry winter air, her beautiful face still seemed to glow.

Anyone would give this twin-tailed girl a score of ninety or higher. The only point she lost was for her underdeveloped chest.

There was no doubt about it: she was Tohsaka Rin, one of the three heroines of FSN.

"Heh-heh, Shinji." Rin crossed her arms and sneered at him. "Even Uncle Kiritsugu knows about the mess you made at the Clock Tower, and you still have no shame."

Shinji's mouth twisted. A glint of cunning flashed through his eyes, as if he'd just thought of something amusing.

"Well, if it isn't the famous Wintery City's Mechanical Idiot, who can blow up a machine just by touching it; the walking machine bane; the perpetually broke young lady; the textbook example of what not to do; Miss Rin, the girl good kids should never imitate. Remember to stay away from the filming equipment later, or you'll run up unnecessary costs for the crew."

"..."

The long string of descriptions left everyone speechless. They all looked at Rin strangely.

Rin's face flushed red. She'd only meant to use Kiritsugu's words to tease Shinji, but he'd hit back with a direct critical strike.

"It's not like I want the machines to explode!!"

The twin-tailed girl, knocked dizzy by Shinji's direct hit, let out a miserable wail.

"Ooh! Big brother, is this what they call a Japanese manzai act?"

The silver-haired little girl beside them couldn't help laughing at Shinji and Rin's comedy routine.

Shirou pressed a hand to his forehead, exasperated. Shinji's lack of seriousness was nothing new to him, but even top student Rin had gotten swept up in it. That was something else.

"Illya, good kids shouldn't copy this kind of nonsense."

"Huh?"

Illya bit her finger, looking disappointed.

"Come on, go find Mom and Dad with your brother. We haven't seen them for days. They must have a lot to talk about."

Shirou coaxed and cajoled his little sister away from the scene.