The King of Knights Who Didn't Understand Love

Although Servants were made of magical energy, aside from being able to become spirit-form and disappearing when they died, they were exactly like ordinary people.

They got hurt, bled, and sweated just the same.

So using Heroic Spirits as actors really was a brilliant idea. Shinji was immensely proud of himself for making that decision.

Heroic Spirits were skilled in martial arts, stayed in shape, and never aged. They also didn't demand much for their acting fees—all he had to cover was room, board, and pocket money.

Aside from needing to develop their Acting Skills and put up with the Heroic Spirits' odd temperaments, as long as their magical energy needs were met, they were the perfect actors in the eyes of every Film Company and film crew.

"Maybe I should start a Heroic Spirit Management Company?"

At the thought, Master Shinji looked at his Heroic Spirits with even greater enthusiasm.

"Shinji, you really do play favorites," Shirou muttered.

Shinji rolled his eyes. "That's called being a gentleman."

"Shirou, that's just Shinji being true to himself." Rin crossed her arms and teased him. "Isn't that right, you lecher who hits on every woman in the Clock Tower?"

Shinji argued his case. "That's a rumor! I don't hit on every woman! I just flirt with most of the single women in the Clock Tower between the ages of sixteen and thirty-five!"

Rin's mouth twitched. "What's the difference?!"

Master Shinji held up one finger and said solemnly, "Of course there's a difference. Not going after girls who are too young proves I'm not a beast. Only flirting with single women proves that I'm a Pure Love War God."

"Shinji, you're impressive, making something so vulgar sound so self-righteous." Shirou was astonished by his childhood friend's shamelessness.

Rin sighed and rubbed her forehead. "You're a disgrace to Fuyuki City. What will people say about me when I go to study at the Clock Tower? That I came from the same place as that notorious pervert?"

"If anyone gets bullied at school, just go to Waver. He'll be happy to deal with it."

"That's not what I meant."

Rin's eyelid twitched.

"Brother, I think you were just talking about flirting..."

Sakura had appeared behind Shinji out of nowhere, her expression dark as she pressed him for an answer.

"Aah! Uncle Hai! Your performance just now was amazing!"

Shinji, drenched in a cold sweat from his sister's sudden appearance, hurried to the other side and gave Uncle Hai two thumbs up as he repaired his body.

"Hmph~~"

Uncle Hai curled his lips and rubbed his nose with a thick finger.

Among all the Heroic Spirit Actors, Uncle Hai had the fewest lines. Apart from a few words before he disappeared, he mostly just let out battle cries.

Maybe because his Spirit Core Strength wasn't high enough, Uncle Hai's Mad Enhancement was far milder than it was in the FSN story. But to Master Shinji, that was a good thing.

He wasn't planning to fight in the Holy Grail War. A sane Heracles was exactly the kind of Uncle Hai his film crew needed.

But that wasn't the only reason Shinji was so fond of him.

If the Heroic Spirits were all promising acting prospects, then Uncle Hai was the best of them.

This big, lovable Muscle Tumbler was easily the most obedient of all the Heroic Spirit Actors. He sat silently in a corner, did whatever was asked of him during filming, and carried out every one of Shinji's instructions to the letter.

Compared to a certain Doggy who went drinking every night, Golden Gil, who barely said a word, Rider, who ignored Shinji and spent all day reading in a corner, and the Big Eater, who put away enough food for more than ten people at every meal... Uncle Hai was the very model of a Model Worker Heroic Spirit Actor.

To make the scene more realistic, Uncle Hai had even willingly used up one of his Twelve Labors and cut off his own arm for the shoot.

Good thing the Nasuverse didn't have a Heroic Spirit Protection Association. Otherwise, Master Shinji's "they pay you to act, but I make you risk your life" routine would have landed him in court.

Sadly, in the Fate story, such a kind and lovable Uncle Hai could never escape being cast as a Tool Person and Combat Power Unit.

Things weren't so bad in the three FSN routes. Even when he was a Tool Person meant to make others look good, he at least had an imposing presence. By the FGO era, though, Uncle Hai's Twelve Labors had truly become a unit of measurement for Combat Power.

Want to show how awesome the Moon God Railgun was? Have it kill Uncle Hai in two shots. Want to show how powerful Fairy Lancelot was? Just have Muramasa complain that she'd beaten him twelve times.

And so the world where only Uncle Hai got hurt was complete.

Smack.

Master Shinji patted Uncle Hai sympathetically on the waist—he couldn't reach his shoulder.

"Uncle Hai, stay strong. One day, you'll have Sword Critical Resistance too!"

"Mm."

Heracles glanced at Sakura in the distance, then turned his huge head toward his Master and gave him a thumbs-up.

"...You mean I should stay strong too?"

Uncle Hai slowly nodded.

"..."

And so the world where only Master Shinji got hurt was complete.

Chapter 8: The King of Knights Who Didn't Understand Love

Though Uncle Hai had shown Shinji that he was so honest and guileless that he almost seemed a little devious, no matter what, he was still Shinji's favorite Heroic Spirit Actor.

What could he do? The big guy was so obedient and well-behaved.

Compared to the difficulties of filming at the Emiya Residence, shooting at Eizenbern Castle was going quite smoothly, even though the location was deep in the mountains and hard to reach.

That was naturally because, after a period of adjustments, the Rookie Film Crew Shinji led had made it through its initial confusion. They'd finally figured out the process and standards of filmmaking, and the staff had gradually learned to work together. The crew's filming efficiency kept improving.

They'd still run into all kinds of problems with props, set dressing, lighting, and other matters, but compared to the hellish difficulty of filming at the Emiya Residence at first, at least the crew was running much more smoothly during their time in the mountains.

Most importantly, Shinji—the Director who had only theoretical knowledge and no experience—was improving at an astonishing pace.

He could still only be considered a beginner, but compared to the Rookie he'd been at the start, he now showed a hint of a Great Director's style.

However, the smoother the filming at Eizenbern Castle went, the more frustrated Shinji became with what came after.

Once filming around Eizenbern was finished, the FSN Film Crew split into two groups.

A small group, led by the crew's cinematographer, went to various locations around Fuyuki City to shoot on location.

The remaining crew members and actors followed Shinji into the studio for Studio Set Filming.

Shinji had no other choice. Apart from the Emiya Residence and Eizenbern Castle, the other major locations in the movie were all public places.

They could have rented somewhere like a school, but there was no need.

After all, the fight between Saber and Rider still had to be filmed on a studio set.

They couldn't actually have Artoria and Medusa tear down a school, could they?

It was true that back when Master Shinji was in school, he'd dreamed of blowing it up. But he'd graduated long ago~

As for whether the high school students at Homonculus Academy would be mad at Shinji for giving up on filming at their school and costing them a possible vacation, Master Shinji couldn't care less.

Students should study hard instead of thinking about vacations all day.

Anyway, the studio shoot was indoors. The few student leads could go to school during the day and film at night without interfering with their work.

The filming hadn't fallen behind schedule, and the crew had started working together more smoothly, but the movie's progress could only be described as mediocre.

The main problem was the actors.

Even though Shinji had already lowered his standards for them considerably, there were still plenty of issues.

The biggest problem was the leading lady, Artoria. As the story progressed, her Role Fit with Saber began to slip further and further out of sync.

By the later part of the Fate Route, Saber had become a Girl in Love, no longer the emotionally detached King of Knights who "didn't understand people."

That made filming difficult, because Artoria couldn't get into the right state. More accurately, she didn't know how.

The King of Knights had never been in love in her entire life. Like a certain blond, dark-skinned undercover agent, she'd treated her country as her lover.

It really was too much to ask her to act like a shy girl in love in front of the camera.

With Shinji's guidance, Artoria had tried very hard to get into the mindset of a woman in love, but no matter what she did, she couldn't capture that girlish feeling.

Though the strong woman pretending to be a delicate girl gave Shinji a strangely appealing feeling and added a new Cute Point to Artoria, that clearly wasn't what he, as the Director, had intended.

"Cut! This still isn't working."

In the studio, Master Shinji called out into the microphone, sounding helpless. Then he snapped his fingers at the cinematographer and lighting technician.

"You two, come over here. Let's discuss this again."

Hearing Shinji call the scene, Rin and Artoria, who had been lying together on the bed, sprang up and moved apart.

Shinji was filming the scene where the three of them escaped the castle and Shirou replenished Artoria's Magic.

"Finally, a break."

"Yeah."

Rin sat at the head of the bed, Saber at the foot. They kept their distance, and there was no sign that they'd just been getting intimate on that old prop bed.

"Ah, is Master unhappy with it again?"

Artoria watched Shinji talking with the crew's cinematographer and sighed softly.

Because of the unhappy memories involving her sister and Guinevere, she felt a little uneasy about being physically close with another girl. The scene had felt awkward to her.

Rin wasn't satisfied with the scene either. She brushed her hair aside and snorted. "Who knows what Shinji's thinking? Maybe he's got some weird fetish."

She had nothing against Saber, but she still felt a little embarrassed about cuddling with another girl.

"Rin," Artoria asked seriously, "do you dislike Master?"

Rin paused.

"Huh? Artoria, why would you ask that?"

"Because you always contradict Master."

Hearing Artoria's calm, blunt words, Rin froze.

"Well, rather than dislike him, I guess he annoys me. He's been finding ways to swindle pocket money out of Shirou and me since we were five. But..."

Rin glanced at Shinji, still discussing things with the crew, and smiled faintly.

"The fact that he's a movie fanatic hasn't changed in all these years."

"Does that mean you like him?"

Artoria tilted her head and continued asking questions.

"L-Like him?! N-no way! How could I possibly like him?" Rin slapped the bed and loudly denied it. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because I don't know what love is."

Artoria sounded a little downcast. "Master wants me to act like a girl in love, but I really don't know how."

"I see..."

Rin didn't know what to say. She'd been single her whole life, and she wasn't any more experienced than Artoria when it came to romance.

"Ahem. Maybe you should try reading manga and novels?"

After giving it some thought, that was the only advice Rin could offer.

"Manga and novels?"

"Yeah, romance manga and novels. They describe love in great detail, so I think they'd help."

Then Rin rattled off the names of several romance manga and novels.

"Oh, I see."

Artoria nodded over and over, committing the titles to memory.

"Rin, you're amazing."

"It's no big deal."

Rin lifted her chin proudly.

"But how do you know so much about manga and novels? Do honor students have to read those too?"

Artoria asked with open curiosity. She knew little about modern education and asked without the slightest hesitation.

"Uh... How should I put it..."

Rin faltered, unable to answer Artoria's question.

Fortunately, Master Shinji came over to save her.