I Am Not the Supreme God
Chapter 37

Morning Hearing the Way

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7mo ago

Late at night in the royal court.

A maid's scream shattered the silence.

Upon hearing the commotion, Emperor Kubana immediately dropped his official duties and hurried towards the Empress's chambers.

Inside, Empress Fina held a silver goblet, having dismissed everyone else. Her face was ashen, and she weakly rested one hand on the table.

When she saw Kubana burst through the door, Fina looked at him, her gaze like that of a maiden from days past, filled with affection but tinged with a hint of resentment.

She had taken poison, a potent toxin that would lead her to the end of her life.

Kubana's expression was complex, as if he had expected this, but seeing it unfold before him still felt like a knife twisting in his heart.

He closed the palace doors, forbidding anyone from approaching, including his and Fina's son, the empire's prince.

He walked forward, embracing Fina's waist, and said, "Why Fina? You should have had a life of great prosperity. The entire empire was a gift I offered to you."

At this point, blame was utterly meaningless.

Empress Fina leaned against Kubana's chest, black blood seeping from her mouth. "I want to ask you too, Kubana, my beloved. Why? Why couldn't you wait just a few short years? Your soul has been taken by Aethelred. Without your prosperity, life would be meaningless, because you yourself are my prosperity."

Kubana didn't know how to respond. A myriad of emotions coalesced into a sigh, "I'm sorry."

Fina weakly shook her head. "No need. Being with you, I've already exhausted all the luck and love in my life. To die in your arms, I feel immense happiness. My previous grievances have all melted away in your warmth.

Kubana, answer me one question. In your heart, what do I truly mean to you?"

Kubana remained silent for a long time. Still unwilling to deceive his beloved, he spoke with genuine sincerity, "Only below Truth."

Having anticipated this answer, Fina cupped his face. "You still won't lie to me. I once took comfort in this quality of yours, but, you know, it's also the catalyst for my demise."

Kubana: "I just don't want to lie to you, my... beloved."

Fina chuckled softly. "It's alright. Rational as you are, to uphold your agreement with Aethelred, you've taught our child to follow truth since childhood. Since I am below Truth, what about our child? Is he merely a tool for you to continue the Church of Truth?"

Kubana shook his head. "No, the child is only below you. He is the crystallization of our love. If anything is a tool, it is the empire."

Fina smiled helplessly. "The prosperous empire you built by overworking yourself and exhausting your life is merely a tool? If the empire is like that, then what about your own life? Compared to me, our child, and the empire, what position does it hold?"

Kubana rested his head on Fina's hair and softly said, "Compared to the three mentioned above, my life is not worth mentioning."

As he spoke, Kubana snatched the silver goblet from Fina's hand and drank the contents – the potent poison – in one gulp.

"Fina, may I share your suffering. May we be reunited forever in another world."

However, Empress Fina no longer answered him.

Kubana endured the pain, lowered his head to close his beloved's eyes, and carried her to the bed.

With tender affection, he tidied her hair and clothes, gently kissed her lips, and softly said, "Wait for me. It won't be long."

Kubana raised his head, black blood oozing from his seven orifices. The agony of the poison, however, could not extinguish the light in his eyes.

Raising his hands high, he declared, "Aethelred, my Lord, I have offered you everything as agreed. The empire, the Church of Truth, are all promises fulfilled to you. Now, please respond to me, bestow upon me, and tell me my once humble wish."

Brilliant light erupted.

Ethereal music played.

Tang Chuan had not broken his promise. Just before Kubana's life faded, he descended in the form of Aethelred.

Kubana's final surge of fervent energy remained fixed on Aethelred's eternally unchanging, exquisite face. "My Lord, please fulfill your promise."

The deity floated in the air, his form ethereal and illusory. He glanced at Kubana, who was experiencing his final burst of fervor, and at Fina on the bed, who had died peacefully. He said:

"Kubana, my most outstanding apostle, you could have chosen to change your mind and ask for a different wish, and I would have helped you achieve it."

His implication was clear.

If you change your mind, if you don't give up on knowing the answer, I can revive Fina, eliminate the deadly poison in your body, and you can continue to live as the Emperor, enjoying your twilight years and dying peacefully.

However, Kubana's gaze never wavered. He repeated, "My Lord, please fulfill your promise!"

"Alas..."

Tang Chuan sighed and said no more. He directly injected the prepared periodic table of elements for this world into Kubana's mind.

He also granted him a similarly semi-omnipotent state to perceive the elemental substances that constituted the world.

Before Kubana could fully process what was happening, his vision instantly expanded. He observed the planet from a god's-eye view, then zoomed out further. As the first human to observe a planetary system, he zoomed out again to see the galaxy, the star clusters, the entire Origin Universe...

Kubana was plunged into profound shock.

Is this the true face of the universe?

It's so vast.

Humanity on the Canghuang Continent isn't even a drop in the ocean.

It's so beautiful.

The brilliant colors emitted by the galaxy are the most beautiful sight he has ever witnessed.

So this is how humans came to be.

This is how planets operate.

There are other planets nurturing life, and in the future, life will spread throughout these starry skies.

This was a beauty that struck the soul, leaving Kubana entranced for a long time.

To glimpse truth once was to have one's soul sublimated. My own small achievements, so insignificant... they were truly humble, so very humble...

Truth and order, it turned out, truly existed between all matter, all planets, all seas of stars...

Kubana felt his soul vanishing, on the verge of extinction.

He came back to his senses and saw Fina sleeping peacefully on the bed, and Aethelred, with flowing sleeves, existing between the illusory and the real.

"My Lord, there is one last answer, please tell me as well. Since all matter will eventually perish, fall into a new cycle, and everything will return to nothingness, ultimately meaningless, then what is the meaning of humanity's existence?"

Aethelred shook its head. "The meaning of human existence is, in fact, meaningless to the gods. The so-called meaning is merely what you define. Therefore, I cannot give you an accurate answer, because even different gods would give different answers."

Kubana refused to accept this reply. "Then, Aethelred, God of Truth, whom I have eternally believed in, who has witnessed the expansion of the universe and the development of humanity since ancient times, I believe you must have an answer in your heart? Tell me, what is this answer? Even if it differs from other gods, I am willing to believe in your truth forever!"

Aethelred was silent for a moment. "Happiness. The meaning of human existence is the pursuit of one's own happiness. Not indulgence, not desire, not mere pleasure, but the most sincere happiness itself."

Kubana was confused and asked, "Happiness? But happiness is always fleeting. Happiness itself is merely a sensation reflected by human genes and nerves..."

Aethelred said, "Kubana, answer me. Having just learned the true composition of matter and witnessed the rules governing the cosmos, are you happy?"

Kubana came back to his senses. "Happy! This is my ultimate pursuit! I feel an ineffable happiness! I understand now, my Lord. To glimpse one's life's pursuit and find one's own faith is the most real happiness. Even a cup of clear tea, even a bowl of hot soup offered by a loved one, this, is this the meaning of human existence?

But...

Many are still influenced by the material world and choose self-destruction. What then is their meaning?"

Aethelred said faintly, "They did not find happiness, and saw only pain wherever they looked, so they went to seek answers, just as you did.

However, this does not erase the meaning that their writings, inventions, and ideals may have brought to human civilization. At least, at that time, meaning existed.

Look back at the empire you built. All the order, rules, and man-made objects are proof of your existence. Everything is meaning itself."

Kubana murmured unintelligibly, a light of thought flashing in his eyes.

After a long while.

His consciousness returned to his own body.

Struggling to get up, he performed a kowtow to Aethelred. "Forgive me, Kubana cannot follow my Lord any longer."

Tang Chuan nodded. "It's alright, you have done very well."

The voice of the god swept across the continent like a torrent: "I am the embodiment of wisdom and order, the God of Truth, Aethelred! I bestow upon my apostle, Kubana, three precepts.

Die for your ideals.

Apostle of God.

Human Pioneer.

May the Canghuang Continent remain as it is tomorrow, and may you all live in peace under my glory, unchanging through the ages. Mortals... prosper. I await you on the path ahead."

Aethelred's form dissipated.

Her majestic voice still echoed in his ears.

But none of that mattered anymore.

Dying for ideals was real.

Apostle of God, Human Pioneer... whether they existed or not was irrelevant.

Kubana used his last ounce of strength to climb onto the bed and rested his head peacefully by Fina's ear, whispering, "Fina, I'm sorry, I regret it, but if I had to choose again, I would still do this... I'm sorry.

May my departed soul become your nourishment, and may my eternal damnation exchange for your prosperous afterlife.

I never asked Aethelred if there was an afterlife. I dared not. Forgive my cowardice.

I am coming."

The wise man, humanity's greatest pioneer, the saint Kubana, passed away peacefully.

He died for his ideals, and also died of cowardice.

All three Apostles of God were dead, and a new chapter of history had begun.

However, this time, without the guidance of a great being, humanity would have to inscribe scattered brushstrokes on this chapter and compile them into a book.

(PS: The groundwork is almost complete. The pace will pick up from here, exploring the Main Universe's civilizations. Thank you to everyone on the fan list for your tips, and please vote~)

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