Ye Xiaoyao was the sort of person who usually spoke softly and timidly, someone who looked like she could never get angry. But sometimes, she could drive a person absolutely mad.
The worst part was, she had no idea she was doing it.
What was she like?
Just like a rebellious teenage daughter, always saying, "I told you already. Don't interfere."
Or—
"Yeah, yeah. That's just who I am."
Tell me—
Wasn't that infuriating?
Put another way, she was asking for a good beating.
Anyway, Ye Qingxian's fists were clenched.
She caught up in a few steps with Ye Xiaoyao, who was preparing to leave. Her hand moved faster than her mouth as she grabbed her junior sister by the shoulder from behind.
"Stop right there."
"Can we talk this out?"
"Can you speak properly?"
I didn't understand what Ye Qingxian was doing.
Why did she keep bothering me?
Did I not look like a lost cause?
Getting grabbed by the shoulder out of nowhere was a first for me. Instead of feeling scared, I bristled and opened my mouth, biting down on Ye Qingxian's delicate hand.
In the heat of the moment, I even forgot my pathetic principles. After what had happened last time, Ye Qingxian had gotten into the habit of suppressing her cultivation in front of her junior sister. As a result, I got a good, solid bite in.
She stared at the little head gnawing on the back of her hand, even more certain that Ye Xiaoyao was going through a very unusual phase. Otherwise, how could a gentle, timid girl keep instinctively doing things that were rebellious to the bone?
I slowly let go and stared at the female protagonist's flawless hand.
A clear ring of teeth marks stood out on the back of Ye Qingxian's hand. You could even tell where my little fangs had sunk in.
I felt inexplicably guilty.
I was probably the only person under heaven who would dare do something like that.
Ahhh—
She was the female protagonist! What was I doing?
Had I really just gone and bitten the female protagonist?
And for the second time...
I screamed internally, about to run home, when the female protagonist yanked me back.
The world spun around us. By the time I came to my senses, the female protagonist had me pinned beneath her.
We were so close I could even smell her scent.
My porcelain-white cheeks flushed crimson in an instant.
My hands braced against the ground by instinct. Beneath me was a patch of grass.
I hurriedly begged for mercy in my heart.
Male Lead, big bro Male Lead, spare me! I really didn't mean to end up pinned beneath your female protagonist.
The woman destined to belong to the Male Lead—everything about her belonged to him.
Thinking of the fated heroine, who was supposed to have close contact only with the Male Lead, now just a few handspans away and staring right at me, I wanted nothing more than to wriggle forward and escape through the tiny gap in front of me.
"Don't move," Ye Qingxian said through gritted teeth.
Time and time again—
She'd been toyed with by this little girl, whom she could lift with ease.
Even a clay figurine had a temper.
"I ask, you answer." Ye Qingxian had no idea what she was doing, but for some reason, her heart was full of pent-up anger.
At first, she'd wanted to teach Ye Xiaoyao a lesson.
But then she remembered there was a baby in her belly. She might hurt it, so she forced herself to hold back and try a different approach.
"To start with, I asked if you were pregnant, and you lied to me over and over. Were you just messing with me?"
I fell silent for a second. "No."
"Then, after I found out you were carrying a baby, you kept hinting about the Ghost Fire Flying Sword. Were you deliberately leading me in that direction?"
I fell silent again and turned my head away. "No."
I... had lied.
Ye Qingxian stared into my eyes. "Have you always thought I was easy to fool?"
She wasn't an idiot.
In fact, she was very clever.
How could she not know that someone had been leading her around by the nose?
"You lied to me again and again, played me for a fool again and again." As Ye Qingxian spoke, she started laughing, but even as she laughed, an unnamed anger rose in her.
Who was she, Ye Qingxian? The First Fairy, famous throughout the Nine Provinces.
No one had ever treated her like this.
Perhaps it was the kindness in her nature. Or perhaps it was the sense of responsibility left behind by a choice she'd made many years ago. Either way, she couldn't bring herself to let the matter go completely.
I suddenly fell silent, staring quietly at the sky with eyes that looked dead.
"Speak."
"Don't pretend you're dead."
Ye Qingxian braced her arms on either side of me, then lifted my chin so I had no choice but to look into her eyes.
They said the eyes were windows to the soul.
It was a deeply intimidating pose.
"Can we talk?"
I awkwardly rolled my eyes and said, "Sure."
There was no point in stubbornly denying it now, so I simply admitted it. "Yes, I've been messing with you the whole time. You're the one who kept interfering in what I was doing."
I wasn't lying when I said that.
Ye Qingxian took a deep breath, repeatedly reminding herself that this was a phase everyone had to go through. Only then could she tamp down the anger in her heart.
"We'll set aside who the baby's father is for now."
"First, I want to ask you: why are you so stubbornly clinging to him? Is he really that good to you?"
"During all these days you've been pregnant, has he come to see you even once?"
"You won't tell anyone who he is, and you don't want anyone to stand up for you. Are you trying to make the people who still care about you give up on you completely?"
"Do you want to make it so there's no one left in this world who cares about you?"
Her repeated questions made my fists clench, little by little.
Lies didn't hurt. The truth was the sharpest knife.
No matter what anyone else said to me, I could always remain unmoved.
But in that moment, I admitted I'd cracked.
I was a rat living in the sewers, a weakling who could only peer into other people's lives, a nobody whom everyone had ignored and bullied from beginning to end.
So—
My life's motto had always been: even a pathetic coward wants to rule the world.
Pathetic coward first, ruler of the world second.
I'd never seen sunlight. I didn't know what it smelled like.
Once upon a time, I'd longed to stand beneath it.
But the moment I came to my senses, I was still Ye Xiaoyao—the Ye Xiaoyao who would be bullied and mocked by countless people.
The reason was simple.
This was the Cultivation World, and I was nothing.
So—
I kept telling myself again and again: Ye Xiaoyao, you were born to be the great villain. Your only mission is to rule the world.
You've never seen sunlight.
You're afraid of sunlight.
You should keep your distance from every kind soul.
As if that could prove I'd chosen to stay in the sewers, rather than being a punching bag no one would notice in a million years.
They said if you repeated a belief for long enough, it would become reality.
I began to fear standing in the sunlight. I began to fear getting close to those who suddenly showed me concern.
That was the real me, Ye Xiaoyao.
A lost cause.
Now—
After hearing Ye Qingxian say all that, I really did crack.
I fiercely wiped away my tears, then shoved Ye Qingxian away.
My heart hurt.
It hurt so much I could barely breathe.
I hated you all.
You always showed up in my world out of nowhere, wearing the mantle of saviors.
Where were you during all those nights when I could only curl up in the darkness?
Why did you now get to act like you could save me, as if I had to accept your kindness and live the way you wanted me to?
This wasn't saving me.
It only felt like you were showing me mercy.
Like you pitied me.
That was all.
I, Ye Xiaoyao, was born strong. I didn't need anyone's pity.
I repeated those words to myself.
But—
In that moment, my heart still hurt so much.
When I rejected the warmth of the sunlight with my own hands once more, when I rejected every kind hand reaching out to me, it still hurt so much I could barely breathe.
"Yes," I answered Ye Qingxian's earlier question.
"So please, stop caring about me."
"I'm just a worthless, self-loathing piece of trash."
"Please let me rot to death in the sewers."
My eyes were filled with pain.
I knew—
This was the last desperate struggle of the Ye Xiaoyao who'd once held on to a shred of hope, now sinking into silence and despair.
But I could only snuff out that tiny spark.
That was the only reason left in Ye Xiaoyao.
I knew it was all fake. It would all change. Every act of kindness would end the way it always had, shoving me deeper into hell just when I'd started to hope.
Just as the female protagonist was born with a Male Lead of her own—
Those people—
Everyone else would meet the person fate had chosen for them.
Only I, Ye Xiaoyao, had been born with a Five Elements mixed spirit root, destined to be mocked.
I didn't want to experience that helplessness of being abandoned in the end again.
I didn't know how I'd left.
But I really cried.
It had been a very, very long time since I'd shed tears.
When the last soft place in my heart was pierced, I still seemed more like a child, didn't I?
I couldn't remember how Ye Qingxian had reacted, either.
I only remembered her staring at me the whole time, watching my eyes grow more and more pained. In her gaze was a growing shock I'd never understood before, profound as a thunderbolt suddenly splitting the pitch-black sky, bringing a moment of realization.
For the first time in her life, she'd come into contact with people she'd never understood before.
What had Ye Xiaoyao gone through in the past?
Her pain.
Her weakness.
Her strength.
All of it bore the traces of what Ye Qingxian had once overlooked.
Ye Qingxian watched my staggering figure slowly disappear into the distance. Perhaps the answer she'd just heard had shaken her too deeply; she couldn't say a single word in response.
For the first time, the woman universally acclaimed as the First Fairy of the Nine Provinces looked lost.
Ye Xiaoyao's final words echoed in her ears.
"Ye Qingxian."
"You're no saint."
"You can save anyone, but you can't save me."
"Because I was born this way."
"You're too close to me, and it hurts. Please keep your distance from now on..."
"Your radiance, your purity, your kindness, this so-called salvation of yours—everything about it hurts me. Do you understand?"
"Please let me go."
The sky suddenly darkened.
The girl curled up little by little on the grass.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Ye Qingxian repeated those words again and again.
She lowered her head deeply and buried it between her knees. "I really didn't know. I really didn't know... I only wanted to help you, but it made you suffer so much."
What could a person have gone through
to come up with such an extreme idea?
This was the question that wouldn't leave Ye Qingxian's mind.
She slowly stood up and wiped the corner of her eye again.
Halfway up Heavenly Sword Peak, Ye Qingxian left in a daze. She would never forget the tears Ye Xiaoyao had just shed, or the look in her eyes—utterly shattered and filled with pain.
No one knew what was going through the mind of the Female Protagonist, whose life should have been smooth sailing, free of pain and conflict, as she experienced helplessness for the first time.
No one knew how much time had passed.
Ye Qingxian's dazed gaze suddenly grew resolute.
No.
She still couldn't bring herself to let go.
Ye Xiaoyao, didn't you say I couldn't be a saint?
Then she would try, in her own way, to slowly become a part of your life.
Dark clouds would not give way to dawn, and she had never been anyone's savior.
But, Ye Xiaoyao—
At least one person hadn't given up on you.
Before you continue