Ye Qingxian's Unbearable Tears

Ye Xiaoyao usually speaks softly, appearing as someone who could never get angry, yet at times she could infuriate someone to death.

The key point is, she has no self-awareness.

What is this like?

It's exactly like a rebellious daughter in her teenage years, always saying— "I told you so, don't interfere."

Or.

"Yeah, yeah, that's just who I am."

Tell me—isn't that infuriating?

To put it another way, she's asking for a beating.

In any case, Ye Qingxian's fists were ready.

She quickly caught up to Ye Xiaoyao, who was about to leave, her hand moving faster than her mouth. She grabbed Junior Sister's shoulders from behind.

"You stop right there."

"Can we communicate?"

"Can you speak properly?"

I don't understand Ye Qingxian's actions right now.

What does she want by constantly pestering me?

Don't I look beyond saving?

Suddenly having my shoulders grabbed, for the first time in my life, I actually got a bit bristly. I immediately opened my mouth and bit down on Ye Qingxian's delicate hand.

In a moment of reflex, I even forgot my own cowardly principles. After the previous incident, Ye Qingxian habitually suppressed her cultivation level in front of Junior Sister, resulting in her getting bitten squarely.

She stared at the small head gnawing on her hand, becoming even more convinced that Ye Xiaoyao was going through a very special phase. Otherwise, how could a gentle and soft-spoken young girl always react with such ingrained rebellion?

I gradually loosened my grip, staring at the Female Protagonist's flawless, fair hand.

A clear set of teeth marks appeared on Ye Qingxian's hand, even showing the imprint of where her small canine teeth had been.

I felt inexplicably guilty.

I'm probably the only one in the world who would dare to do something like this.

Ahhh—

This is the Female Protagonist, what on earth am I doing?

I just bit the Female Protagonist, so tender and juicy?

Or rather, this is the second time...

I screamed internally, preparing to run home, when the Female Protagonist suddenly yanked me.

Our positions spun around, and by the time I reacted, I was already pinned against a wall by the Female Protagonist.

At such close proximity, I could even smell the Female Protagonist's scent.

My porcelain-white face instantly turned bright red.

The place my palm instinctively braced against was a patch of grass below.

I frantically pleaded in my mind.

Male Protagonist, Brother Male Protagonist, spare me! I really didn't mean to be pinned down by your Female Protagonist!

The Female Protagonist, destined for the Male Protagonist, everything belongs to the Male Protagonist.

Thinking that the destined Female Protagonist, who should only have close contact with the Male Protagonist, was now only a few inches away from me and staring directly at me, I wished I could wriggle forward and escape through a tiny gap.

"Don't move," Ye Qingxian gritted her teeth.

Again and again.

She had been toyed with by this loli whom she could easily lift.

Even a clay figurine would get angry.

"I ask, you answer." Ye Qingxian didn't know what she was doing, but she just felt inexplicably angry.

She had initially intended to teach Ye Xiaoyao a lesson.

However, upon remembering that she had a Cub inside her, and that hitting her could cause trouble, she forcefully restrained herself and chose a different approach.

"At first, I asked if you had a Cub, and you lied repeatedly. Were you toying with me?"

I was silent for a second, "No."

"Later, when I knew you had a Cub, you kept hinting about the Ghost Fire Flying Sword. Were you deliberately guiding my thoughts?"

I fell silent again, turning my head, "No."

I... lied.

Ye Qingxian's gaze fixed on me, "Do you think I'm very easy to fool?"

She wasn't an idiot.

Even so, she was a very intelligent person.

How could she not know that she had been led around by the nose the entire time.

"Lying again and again, playing with me again and again," Ye Qingxian said, amused by herself, but as she laughed, an inexplicable anger also arose.

Who was she, Ye Qingxian? The First Fairy, renowned throughout the Nine Provinces.

When had she ever been treated like this before?

Perhaps it was her inherent kindness, or perhaps it was the sense of responsibility brought about by a choice she made years ago, that made her unwilling to completely let go of the idea.

I suddenly fell silent, staring quietly at the sky, my eyes as vacant as if they were dead.

"Speak."

"Don't pretend to be dead."

Ye Qingxian propped herself up on my arms on either side, reaching out to straighten my head, forcing me to stare only into her eyes.

Eyes are the windows to the soul.

This was a very oppressive posture.

"Can we communicate?"

I awkwardly rolled my eyeballs and said, "Yes."

At this point, there was no point in being stubborn, so I simply admitted it, "Yes, I've been playing you all along. Who told you to keep interfering with what I do?"

I wasn't lying about this.

Ye Qingxian took a deep breath, constantly telling herself that this was a stage everyone inevitably went through, before suppressing the anger in her heart.

"Whose child it is, we'll leave aside for now."

"First of all, I want to ask you, why are you so persistent? Is he particularly good to you?"

"These past few days, you've been carrying the Cub, has he come to see you even once?"

"You've always refused to say who he is, and you don't want anyone to seek justice for you. Are you trying to make the people who care about you and will eventually care about you give up completely?"

"Do you want no one in this world to care about you anymore?"

With each question, my fists clenched tighter and tighter.

Lies don't hurt people; the truth is the sharpest knife.

No matter what others said about me, I was someone who would remain unmoved.

At this moment, I had to admit I was breaking down.

I was a rat living in the sewers, a weakling who could only peek into the lives of others, a transparent person who had been ignored and bullied by everyone from beginning to end.

Therefore.

My life's principle had always been: even a good-for-nothing wants to rule the world.

Good-for-nothing came first, then ruling the world.

I had never seen the sun, nor did I know what sunlight tasted like.

Once upon a time, I too yearned to stand under the sun.

But once I woke up, I was still that Ye Xiaoyao, the Ye Xiaoyao who would be bullied and mocked by countless people.

The reason was simple.

This was the Cultivation World, and I was nothing.

Therefore.

I told myself over and over again, Ye Xiaoyao, you were born to be a great villain, your only mission is to rule the world.

You have never seen the sun.

You fear the sun.

You should stay far away from all the kind people.

As if this could prove that I actively chose to stay in the sewers, rather than being a punching bag that no one would ever notice in their lifetime.

As the saying goes, when a belief is repeated for too long, it will completely become reality.

I began to fear standing in the sunlight, to fear interacting with those who suddenly showed me concern.

This was me, Ye Xiaoyao.

Hopeless.

Now—

Being told this by Ye Qingxian, I was truly breaking down a little.

I fiercely wiped away my tears and suddenly shoved Ye Qingxian away.

My heart ached.

It hurt so much that I could barely breathe.

I hate you all.

Always acting like saviors, suddenly appearing in my world.

Back then, there were countless nights I could only curl up in the darkness.

Where were you all then?

Why do you now act like you can save me, demanding that I accept your kindness and live according to your wishes?

This isn't salvation at all.

I just feel like you're showing off your mercy.

You pity me.

That's all.

I, Ye Xiaoyao, was born strong. I don't need anyone's pity.

I repeat this to myself.

But...

At this moment, my heart still aches.

When I, with my own hands, once again reject the warmth of the sun and all outstretched hands of kindness, it still hurts so much I can't breathe.

"Yes," I replied to Ye Qingxian.

"So, please stop caring about me."

"I'm just a worthless person who despises herself."

"Please let me rot in the sewer."

My eyes were filled with pain.

I know--

This is the last painful struggle of the Ye Xiaoyao who once held onto a sliver of hope, making a final, agonizing effort in silence and despair.

But I can only extinguish this tiny spark.

This is the rationality that the current Ye Xiaoyao possesses.

I know everything is fake, everything will change, all kindness will end up like before, ultimately pushing me into an even deeper hell of expectation.

Just like the Female Protagonist was born with her own Male Protagonist.

Those people.

Others—everyone—will meet their destined person.

Only I, Ye Xiaoyao, was born with the Five Elements Chaotic Spiritual Root, destined to be mocked.

I don't want to experience the helplessness of being abandoned in the end anymore.

I don't know how I left in the end.

But I really cried.

I haven't shed tears for a very, very long time.

When the last softness in my heart was pierced, I probably seemed even more like a child.

I don't remember Ye Qingxian's reaction either.

I only remember her staring at me, at my increasingly pained eyes, her gaze filled with a shock I never understood, like lightning suddenly appearing in the pitch-black night sky, a profound shock of sudden realization.

For the first time in her life, she encountered a group of people she had never understood.

What had Ye Xiaoyao experienced before?

Her pain.

Her weakness.

Her strength.

Behind them all were the shadows she had previously ignored.

Ye Qingxian watched the staggering figure gradually leaving ahead. Perhaps the answer she had just heard was too shocking, leaving her unable to utter a single word in response.

This universally acknowledged First Fairy of the Nine Provinces showed confusion in her eyes for the first time.

Ye Xiaoyao's final words before leaving echoed in her ears.

"Ye Qingxian."

"You are not a saint."

"You can save anyone, but you can't save me."

"Because, I was born this way."

"You are too close to me, it causes me great pain. Please stay away from me in the future..."

"Your light, your sanctity, your kindness, your so-called salvation, all of it causes me pain, do you understand?"

"Please spare me."

The sky suddenly darkened.

The young girl curled up bit by bit on the grass.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Ye Qingxian repeated the words over and over.

She lowered her head deeply, burying her face in her knees. "I really didn't know, I really didn't know... I just wanted to help you, and it made you suffer so much."

What kind of experiences must a person go through

to develop such extreme thoughts?

This was a lingering question in Ye Qingxian's heart.

She slowly stood up and wiped the corners of her eyes again.

On the mountainside of Heavenly Sword Peak, Ye Qingxian left in a daze. She would never forget the tears Ye Xiaoyao had shed just now, nor her utterly broken and pained eyes.

No one knew what the Female Protagonist, who was supposed to have a smooth life without any pain or conflict, was thinking as she experienced helplessness for the first time.

Nor did anyone know how much time had passed.

Ye Qingxian's dazed gaze suddenly became resolute.

No.

She still couldn't let it go.

Ye Xiaoyao, didn't you say I couldn't be a saint?

Then she would try in her own way, to slowly integrate into your life.

Dark clouds would not bring the dawn, and she was never anyone's savior.

But, Ye Xiaoyao.

At least one person hasn't given up on you.

If you can't find the book by its title, you can try searching for the author; perhaps they just changed the name!