A Hundred Schemes of a Legitimate Little Loli

I'd thought people outside weren't easy to get along with, so I'd be happy once I returned to my own little home.

As it turned out, that whole night in my cave abode had me thoroughly worn out. Most people didn't get intense pregnancy symptoms until nearly two months in, but I'd only just reached a month and was already being tormented. A baby with the Female Protagonist's talent was downright terrifying.

The slightest negative emotion brought on exhaustion, and I slept like a log. It wasn't until broad daylight the next morning that I woke up.

As the carefree Great Devil King, I chalked it all up to mental exhaustion.

I checked my Death Note, then cheerfully went out to distribute resources.

Luo Xiao'er—watered spirit stones.

Shuang Shisan—Spirit Water with extra ingredients.

Every time I pulled off a bit of mischief, I got a little more excited.

I'd originally planned to spit in there, but I was afraid someone might drink my spit and end up grossing me out instead.

So I quickly gathered some black-furred rats I'd slapped to death in my cave abode and used them as seasoning for the Spirit Water.

Rats in the Cultivation World might carry plague. I couldn't vouch for that—

Drink up, and you won't make a peep.

Zhuge Yun—add dregs to his Spirit Nurturing Pills.

I had to target this guy, too. The preparations kept me busy enough to break out in a sweat, but I was having the time of my life, my big eyes occasionally curving into pretty crescent moons.

The sect distributed resources once a month. Inner Sect Disciples each had their own designated share, but Direct Disciples got no allotment and had to fend for themselves. I'd complained about Heavenly Sword Venerable more than once over that.

It was finally Luo Xiao'er's turn.

That jerk's mouth was as obnoxious as ever.

"Well, well, isn't this Senior Sister? Why aren't you sitting down to hand out resources? Can't get your head above the counter?"

There was a service window in the resource distribution hall, and it stood some distance above the ground.

I always had to stand while handing out resources so I could see who came to claim theirs.

I kept a blank expression and tossed over a bag. "Luo Xiao'er, your monthly allotment is ten spirit stones, some Spirit Water, and various other resources. Once it leaves the counter, we accept no responsibility."

Luo Xiao'er rummaged through his bag. All ten spirit stones were full and lustrous, and there was nothing wrong with them at a glance.

He muttered to himself, "Am I imagining it, or do the spirit stones I've been getting lately feel like I'm drinking water when I absorb them?"

Maintaining my professional composure, I gave him a docile smile. No one would ever have taken me for a meek little punching bag who could cause trouble. "You have a water spirit root, so you got water-attribute spirit stones. If they don't feel like drinking water, should they feel like eating?"

Luo Xiao'er suddenly understood. "So that's why! I always wondered why the spirit stones my Lineage gave me didn't taste as watery as the ones from the sect. They're both water-attribute spirit stones, but the sect's are more authentic. This ancient sect truly lives up to its name."

"Senior Sister has been in charge of distribution for so long. You really are the professional." Luo Xiao'er was in such a good mood that he even forgot to needle me, and managed to say something almost human for once.

"That's right, that's right." I blinked my eyes, though I was already laughing myself silly inside. "Hurry back and absorb them."

The watery taste will fade in a bit, I added silently.

Luo Xiao'er left in high spirits.

The next enemy to claim his resources was Shuang Shisan.

When enemies met, their eyes blazed red. The moment he showed up, his tone was already unpleasant. "Why aren't you farming today, Senior Sister? I still think farming suits you better. Only someone as talented as you could handle work with your face to the dirt and your back to the sky."

I gave him a faint smile, the trademark smile of the service industry.

Under the counter, my little fists were already clenched.

So you're suited to cultivation, while I, Ye Xiaoyao, am suited to farming, is that it?

I blinked my cute, wide eyes. Though he'd mocked me to my face, I didn't get angry. Instead, I meekly tossed out a bag of resources. "Here are your resources. Once they leave the counter, we accept no responsibility."

Shuang Shisan opened the bag and checked the Spirit Water first.

He opened a bottle and gulped it down.

The refreshing rush was like guzzling ice-cold spring water on a summer day. He couldn't help letting out a sigh of satisfaction. "Ah, that hits the spot! The sect's Spirit Water really has flavor. You can't buy anything like it outside. It reminds me of the meals my mother used to make when I was little."

A wistful look came over his face. Still reminiscing, he walked away.

Below the window, I gave a little kick.

I kicked the half-eaten rat carcass somewhere no one could see.

Who knew if the rats in the Cultivation World carried plague? I wasn't going to vouch for it.

His irises were almost the same color as his hair, though a lighter, pale red. They blinked slyly at that moment. Beneath his docile exterior, his unruly nature made a scene all its own.

I sorted the remaining items, feeling more and more cheerful. I couldn't help humming a couple of happy notes.

And then I ran into the person I hated most.

"Junior Sister, how are you feeling today?" Zhuge Yun was as flamboyant as ever, always carrying around a pink, girlish fan.

Like some uncivilized primitive, he released his hormones at every female cultivator he saw. It was absolutely disgusting.

My smile froze. Just seeing this guy filled me with anger.

Zhuge Yun took his bag of resources and sighed theatrically. "Is something troubling you, Junior Sister? Why are you in a bad mood every time you see me?"

"..."

Could it be that I was in a bad mood because I saw you?

"Seeing Junior Sister in a bad mood makes me so happy. Hahaha!" Zhuge Yun burst out laughing, waved his flashy fan, and strode away.

"The Spirit Nurturing Pills I got this time should be enough to help me break through, right?"

"I've failed to break through every time for the past three months, despite taking the Spirit Nurturing Pills. My talent can't be that bad. It's really strange."

"Could it be... that I've hit a bottleneck too?"

Three failed breakthroughs? My red eyes flashed slyly twice.

That was just wonderful.

I could congratulate you in advance: you wouldn't succeed this time either.

You could've offended anyone. Why'd you have to offend an editor?

I watched him walk away and huffed.

This was the wisdom of me, Ye Xiaoyao. I was practically a natural-born villain.

I sabotaged people in exactly the right way, and I'd never been caught once.

Look—even some people would thank me.

That was the editor's invincible buff: once it left the counter, we accepted no responsibility. There was no way anything could go wrong.

It had already left the counter. Who could say whether you were trying to scam me?

Just apply the universal formula.

Prove that the Spirit Nurturing Pill you're holding is the one I gave you.

Can't prove it? Then I'm sorry, but I'll have to accuse you of slandering your Senior Sister.

If you spotted a problem before it left the counter, that was even easier to deal with.

There were so many resources in the sect. Surely some of them had a problem. I'd just replace yours with another bottle.

In short, there was no way I could be at fault.

That was the beauty of being an editor. You think becoming a Direct Disciple is easy?

The day's distribution soon came to an end. I stretched languidly.

Out of habit, I rubbed my eyes, yawned, and pulled a big mooncake out of my little pouch. I took a blissful bite.

Food with Spiritual Energy just hit different.

I, Ye Xiaoyao, swore that one day I'd be able to eat food like this at every meal.

One grand boast a day, just to boost morale.

I was pretty nimble, and my workstation was as spotless as my home, without a speck of dust.

I tidied up my workstation, took my Death Note, and skipped out of the resource distribution hall.

"Who is she?"

Jian Wushuang's gaze lingered in the distance.

She instinctively tightened her chest binder and toyed with the Ghost Fire Flying Sword she'd just bought. She'd heard that little female immortals all loved these things. Take one for a spin, and you'd be rewarded with countless shrieks from sheltered little immortals who'd never seen the world. It suited her scoundrel persona perfectly: she was determined to make ten thousand female immortals fall at her feet.

She loved waiting until someone confessed to her, then secretly revealing her true gender and quietly watching the lovestruck little immortal's expression crumble. All the while, she could feel her Ruthless Dao cultivation rising.

It was truly wonderful.

As for whether she herself might fall for someone...

What a joke. She cultivated the Ruthless Dao. How could she fall in love? Wouldn't that make all her cultivation go to waste?

Jian Wushuang was lost in thoughts of how dashing and debonair she looked in today's male attire, just like always, when she suddenly spotted an excessively pretty little female immortal up ahead, standing on tiptoe as she struggled to shut down the formation in the resource distribution hall.

The vivid contrast of her pink-and-white hair and black-and-red dress was striking. Beneath the hem were long, taut, flawless jade legs—any fuller would be too much, any thinner too little. And then there was that peerless childlike face, as if she'd stepped straight out of a painting. She had a rare soft, adorable charm that made people yearn to get close to her.

In today's Cultivation World, where the average female cultivator stood well over one meter seventy-five, anyone below one meter sixty was a rare sight. Jian Wushuang had never seen an adult female immortal below one meter fifty.

But that didn't matter. It wasn't as if she were a beast.

Someone that tiny—adult or not, only a beast would lay a hand on her.

This was merely another pawn for her Ruthless Dao cultivation.

Only...

Jian Wushuang's gaze paused.

She didn't remember the sect having anyone like her.

Anyone who could become an editor had to be a Direct Disciple, just like her.

That didn't make sense.

If you ignored their individual fields of brilliance, she, a veteran seductress with a reputation built over ten thousand years, could tell at a glance that this was an unparalleled immortal beauty, no less remarkable than Ye Qingxian.

Jian Wushuang casually twirled the Ghost Fire Flying Sword into a flourish and walked toward the soft, adorable little girl.

Why think so much? She'd just bought the Ghost Fire Flying Sword. She had to use it at least once.

What a coincidence. Here was a test subject ready-made.

Little female immortals didn't usually have much Spiritual Energy. And the Ghost Fire Flying Sword wasn't particularly cheap, yet it shone with a dazzling brilliance no less impressive than a top-grade sword. It was practically guaranteed to work as a flirtation tactic.

Jian Wushuang's mind was full of thoughts.

Once she picked a target, she'd never missed.

It meant her Ruthless Dao was about to break through again.

In the end, Jian Wushuang suddenly hesitated and forcibly stopped herself from her usual impulse to flirt. Wait. If she was an editor from Heavenly Sword Peak, she had to be a Junior Sister from the same school as her.

Forget it, forget it. Junior Sisters were meant to be cherished. She couldn't make a move on one of her own.

My peripheral vision was like radar. I locked onto that perfect scumbag at a glance.

My eyes lit up at once.

I'd searched high and low, and here she was.

I'd just been wondering what I'd do if someone found out I was pregnant.

And now a perfect pawn had delivered herself right to me.

As a legitimate little loli, I had a hundred schemes for making someone inexplicably look like a beast in everyone else's eyes.

The Female Protagonist's baby needed a scapegoat. I'd pin that hat on you.

I had absolutely no qualms about targeting scumbags.

You'd brought this on yourself.

I immediately put on starry, adoring eyes and bounced toward her like a little pink-and-white rabbit.

With my head tilted slightly upward and my soft, adorable loli voice, I was as sweet as a cotton candy.

"Senior Brother, Senior Brother, you're so handsome!"

"Is this the legendary Ghost Fire Flying Sword?"

"Can I touch it?"