One Hundred Schemes of a Legal Loli

I thought dealing with people outside was difficult, but I'd be happy once I got back to my own little home.

Instead, I was tormented all night in the cave dwelling. It took others nearly two months to experience severe pregnancy symptoms, but I started suffering after just a month. The child with the heroine's talent is too terrifying.

My emotions turned slightly negative, and exhaustion quickly set in. I slept soundly and didn't wake up until it was broad daylight the next day.

As a carefree Great Demon King, I attributed it all to mental exhaustion.

After checking my death note, I happily went out to distribute resources.

Luo Xiao'er—Spirit Stones diluted with water.

Shuang Shisan—Spirit Water mixed with something.

Every time I did something bad, I felt a surge of excitement.

I had originally planned to spit in them, but I was afraid of getting disgusted myself if I ate my own spit.

So, I quickly grabbed some black-furred mice I'd killed in the cave dwelling and used them as a condiment for the Spirit Water.

Go ahead and drink it, you sick mouse of the Cultivation World—

He drank it all without a sound.

Zhuge Yun—Spirit Nurturing Pills mixed with waste residue.

This person also needed to be targeted. The preparatory work for all of this had me sweating profusely, but I was enjoying myself immensely, my large eyes occasionally curving into beautiful crescent moons.

The sect distributed resources once a month. Inner disciples had their own exclusive quotas, but Direct Disciples had none and had to fend for themselves, which made me complain about Heavenly Sword Venerable more than once.

It was soon Luo Xiao'er's turn.

This scoundrel's mouth was as obnoxious as ever.

"Yo, isn't this Senior Sister? Why aren't you sitting down to distribute? Can't your head reach?"

There was a distribution window in the resource distribution hall, which was a certain distance from the ground.

Every time, I had to stand to distribute resources so I could see who was coming to collect theirs.

With a poker face, I tossed a bag of items over. "Luo Xiao'er, your monthly quota is ten Spirit Stones, a certain amount of Spirit Water, and other resources. Once this window is closed, we are not responsible."

Luo Xiao'er rummaged through his bag. All ten Spirit Stones were full of luster and showed no obvious problems.

He muttered to himself, "Is it just me, or do the Spirit Stones I've been receiving lately feel like I'm drinking water when I absorb them?"

Maintaining my professional demeanor, I put on a sweet smile that made me look like an innocent victim who couldn't possibly cause trouble. I replied sweetly, "You have the Water Spiritual Root, so you're receiving water-attribute Spirit Stones. What else would they feel like if not drinking water?"

Luo Xiao'er suddenly understood. "So that's how it is. No wonder the Spirit Stones my family gave me don't have that watery taste like the ones distributed by the sect. They're both water-attribute Spirit Stones, but the sect's are more authentic. The ancient sect truly lives up to its name."

"Senior Sister has been working in distribution for so long; you're indeed more professional than I am." Luo Xiao'er was in a great mood and didn't even bother with sarcasm. It was rare for him to say something human.

"Yes, yes." I blinked my eyes, but inside, I was already laughing hysterically. "Hurry back and absorb them."

The watery taste will fade soon, I added in my mind.

Luo Xiao'er left in high spirits.

The next person to collect resources was Shuang Shisan.

When enemies meet, their eyes burn with hatred. As soon as he appeared, his tone was very impolite. "Senior Sister, why aren't you farming today? I still think farming suits you better. Only a talent like you is suited for work with your face to the soil and your back to the sky."

I gave a faint smile, the standard smile for the service industry.

Below, my little fists were already clenched.

So, you think you're suited for cultivation, and I, Ye Xiaoyao, am suited for farming, right?

I blinked my cute big eyes, not getting angry at being mocked to my face. Instead, I tossed his bag of resources at him haphazardly. "Here are your resources. Once this window is closed, we are not responsible."

Shuang Shisan opened the bag and checked the Spirit Water first.

He opened a bottle of Spirit Water and gulped it down.

It was as refreshing as drinking from an icy spring in summer, making him sigh involuntarily. "Ah, this is potent! The sect's Spirit Water really has a flavor. You can't buy this kind of Spirit Water outside. It reminds me of my mother's cooking when I was little."

He looked nostalgic, sighing as he left.

Below the window, I kicked my little foot.

I kicked a half-eaten mouse carcass into a place where no one could see it.

As for whether the mice in the Cultivation World have the plague, I can't guarantee it.

Her pupils, almost the same color as her hair, were a lighter, pale red. They blinked mischievously at the moment, her personality rebellious beneath her docile exterior, creating a unique charm.

I tidied up the remaining items, my mood becoming even more joyful. I couldn't help but hum happily.

Then, I ran into the person I disliked the most.

"Senior Sister, are you in a good mood today?" Zhuge Yun was as flamboyant as ever, always carrying a pink, effeminate fan.

Like a primitive man whose brain hadn't developed, he'd release his hormones at any female cultivator he saw. It was utterly disgusting.

My smile froze. Seeing this guy always made me angry.

Zhuge Yun took his bag of resources and pretended to be sad, sighing, "Does Senior Sister have something sad on her mind? Why do you always seem unhappy when you see me?"

"..."

Is it possible that seeing you is what's making me feel bad?

"Feeling bad when I see my junior sister? I feel absolutely wonderful, hahaha." Zhuge Yun laughed heartily, fanning himself with his ostentatious fan, and strode away.

"The Spirit Nurturing Pills I received this time should allow me to break through my cultivation, right?"

"I've received Spirit Nurturing Pills for three consecutive months, and each time my breakthrough failed. My aptitude shouldn't be this bad; it's truly strange."

"Could it be? I have a bottleneck too."

Three failed breakthroughs? My red pupils flickered slyly twice.

That's just wonderful.

This time, I can only congratulate you in advance; there's no way it'll be successful.

Who else could you offend, but our editors.

I stared at his retreating back and snorted.

This is the wisdom of Ye Xiaoyao, a born arch-villain.

I target my sabotage precisely, and I've never been caught.

Look—some people will even thank me.

This is the invincible buff of an editor; once it leaves the counter, we're not responsible, so there can't be any problems.

Since you've already left the counter, who knows if you're trying to scam us.

Using the universal formula.

Please prove that the bottle of Spirit Nurturing Pills you're holding is the one I gave you.

Can't prove it? Then I'm sorry, but I'll have to counter-sue you for slandering your senior sister.

If the problem is discovered before leaving the counter, it's even easier to handle.

There are so many resources in the sect; surely one of them has a problem. We'll just swap it out for you.

In short, there's no way there's a problem with me.

This is the advantage of being an editor; do you really think it's easy to be a Direct Disciple?

The day's distribution quickly ended, and I stretched lazily.

I habitually rubbed my eyes, yawned, and took out a large mooncake from my small pouch, taking a delighted bite.

Things with spiritual energy are so invigorating to eat.

I, Ye Xiaoyao, swear that from now on, I'll be able to eat food like this for every meal.

A grand declaration once a day, used to boost morale.

My hands and feet are quite nimble; my workstation is basically as clean as my home, spotless.

I tidied up my workstation, grabbed my death notebook, and skipped away from the resource distribution hall.

"Who is she?"

Jian Wushuang's gaze lingered in the distance.

She subconsciously tightened her chest binder, idly playing with the Ghost Fire Flying Sword she had just purchased. She had long heard that little fairies loved this item; just taking it out for a stroll could garner countless shrieks from unsophisticated little fairies, perfectly fitting her persona as a scumbag woman aiming to have ten thousand fairies fall for her charms.

Her favorite thing was to wait until others confessed their love, then secretly reveal her true gender and quietly observe the gradual shattering of the infatuated little fairies' expressions, silently sensing the realm increase brought by her Ruthless Dao.

This was truly wonderful.

As for... whether she herself would fall in love.

What a joke. She cultivates the Ruthless Dao; how could she fall in love? Wouldn't that be breaking her cultivation on the spot?

Jian Wushuang was immersed in how dashing and elegant she looked today in her male attire, as always, when she suddenly noticed an overly beautiful little fairy in front of her, standing on tiptoe and trying hard to close the formation of the resource distribution hall.

The strong visual impact of her pink and white hair and black and red dress, her slender, toned, perfect jade legs beneath the skirt—an inch more would be too fat, an inch less would be too thin—coupled with a face as exquisite as if drawn from a painting, she possessed a rare soft and cute attribute in the Cultivation World, making people unconsciously yearn to be close to her.

In today's Cultivation World, where the average height of female cultivators has long surpassed 1.75 meters, being under 1.6 meters is already a rarity. Jian Wushuang had never seen an adult fairy under 1.5 meters before.

But it didn't matter; she wasn't a beast.

So small, even if she were an adult, only a beast would lay hands on her.

She was merely the next tool for her Ruthless Dao cultivation.

However.

Jian Wushuang's gaze paused.

How could she not remember such a person in the sect?

Anyone who could be an editor must be a Direct Disciple like herself.

That shouldn't be the case.

If they weren't comparing their individual areas of brilliance, she, a seasoned veteran of romance who could be called a scumbag of the millennium, could tell at a glance that this was an unparalleled immortal beauty, no less than Ye Qingxian.

Jian Wushuang casually twirled the Ghost Fire Flying Sword into a flourish and walked towards the soft and cute loli in front of her.

Why think so much? She had to use the Ghost Fire Flying Sword she just bought at least once.

Coincidentally, here's a ready-made test subject.

Young fairy maidens generally don't have many Spirit Stones. Plus, the Ghost Fire Flying Sword isn't exactly cheap and it shines brilliantly, no less than a top-grade sword, making it a surefire way to impress a girl.

Jian Wushuang's mind was racing.

Once she locked onto a target, she had never failed.

This meant her Ruthless Dao was about to break through again.

Finally, Jian Wushuang suddenly hesitated, forcefully suppressing her usual impulse to impress girls. Wait, if he's from Heavenly Sword Peak, then he must be from the same sect as my Junior Sister.

Never mind, never mind. Junior Sisters are meant to be pampered; I can't lay a hand on my own Junior Sister.

My peripheral vision acted like radar, locking onto the perfect scumbag brother in front of me in an instant.

My eyes lit up.

Talk about finding something you weren't looking for!

I was just wondering what I should do after my pregnancy was exposed.

Here's a perfect tool, walking right into my trap.

As for how to make someone inexplicably turn into a beast in others' eyes, we legal lolis have a hundred tricks up our sleeves.

The child that belongs to the heroine, I'll pin the blame on you.

I have absolutely no psychological burden targeting scumbags.

You brought this upon yourself.

I immediately approached, sparkling with adoring eyes, like a small pink and white bunny, hopping over.

Tilting my head slightly, my voice soft and cute like a marshmallow.

"Senior Brother, Senior Brother, you're so handsome."

"Is this the legendary Ghost Fire Flying Sword?"

"Can I touch it?"