Calling You Brother Is Impossible, Not in This Lifetime!

"Yan Lin, you can't take that kid in. He was always targeting you before, and now he's only bowing his head because he sees you're not someone to mess with. He's not truly on your side, so be careful not to raise a tiger that will come back to bite you. You taught me that, so don't be foolish."

After Sha Bi left, Cauliflower Snake, who was slowly leaving the Cultivation Technique Pavilion with Yan Lin, couldn't help but remind him. "If you need someone to handle things, just come to me. Your bro is absolutely reliable."

He didn't think Sha Bi was trustworthy. He didn't want Yan Lin to be fooled by a few flattering words.

But Yan Lin's mental age was far greater than his. How could he not understand the principle of raising a tiger that would come back to bite him?

Patting Cauliflower Snake on the shoulder, Yan Lin smiled. "I know what you mean, but that last sentence was what you really wanted to say, wasn't it?"

After speaking, Yan Lin teasingly raised his brows at him. Having been seen through, Cauliflower Snake scratched his head and gave an embarrassed chuckle.

Yan Lin smiled knowingly as well and promised, "Don't worry. You're my best bro. Naturally, we'll share blessings and face hardships together. From now on, your bro will carry you to greatness."

He wasn't Tang San. Once he took off, he certainly wouldn't neglect his best bro.

It was just that his mental age was far older than Cauliflower Snake's, so he simply couldn't bring himself to call him brother. This guy always claimed to be the elder brother, and Yan Lin felt that today, he had to settle their seniority once and for all. So he immediately dug a pit for Cauliflower Snake.

Cauliflower Snake failed to notice it. At first, he beamed with joy and opened his mouth to praise Yan Lin for being loyal. Then he suddenly realized Yan Lin was taking advantage of him. He immediately stopped, put on a stern face, and said, "I'm your brother! I'm older than you!"

Clearly, Cauliflower Snake still wanted to be the elder brother and intended to argue with Yan Lin over their ages. But Yan Lin, who had seen this coming, played an unexpected card.

"Are you sure you're bigger than me?"

Yan Lin glanced below his waist. Cauliflower Snake instantly understood. His chubby face flushed with embarrassed anger. "You! So what if you're bigger?!"

"Hehe, being bigger is a big deal."

Seeing Yan Lin's smug grin, Cauliflower Snake really wanted to beat him up.

But he couldn't beat him, couldn't compare to his status, and even his little brother was useless. Cauliflower Snake was completely helpless. He could only give a cold snort as if he didn't care, while inwardly fuming.

Back then, he had competed with Yan Lin to see who could pee farther against the wind. He knew that Yan Lin's equipment was indeed unusually impressive.

It was bad enough that his talent was so powerful. Now that he had awakened his ancestral bloodline, what made Cauliflower Snake even more jealous was that this bastard's equipment was more impressive too.

In terms of intelligence, emotional intelligence, and every other aspect, he was utterly crushed.

Cauliflower Snake always felt that there wasn't a single thing in this life that he could compare with Yan Lin in. Yan Lin even seemed more like an older brother than he did.

Sometimes, he couldn't help wondering whether Yan Lin was Heaven's illegitimate son, capable of being so outstanding in every way.

"Alright, you won't lose out by calling me brother. Call me brother, and I'll protect you from now on."

Seeing Cauliflower Snake sulking, Yan Lin smiled and put an arm around his shoulder, coaxing and tricking him at the same time.

How could Cauliflower Snake fall for that? He immediately rejected it in the strongest terms. "Calling you brother is impossible, not in this lifetime!"

"I wouldn't be so sure."

Seeing a familiar figure ahead, Yan Lin wore a meaningful smile and confidently told Cauliflower Snake, "Don't forget, you still haven't won over Little Cui. Don't you want this strategist to give you some advice?"

As he spoke, Yan Lin deliberately winked at Cauliflower Snake, drawing his attention to a snake girl of fourteen or fifteen ahead of them.

Her name was Cui Hua Snake. She was also a member of the Mobaas Tribe and one of those who had awakened this time. The difference was that her talent was poor, so she was in an ordinary training class, while Cauliflower Snake was in the elite training class.

She was three years older than Cauliflower Snake and had a fairly pretty round face. Though she still looked somewhat immature, her figure was even more developed than that of most grown women.

The most eye-catching part of her was undoubtedly her butt, which hung like a lump of sheep-tail fat and bounced "duang duang duang" as she slithered along.

Yan Lin truly couldn't understand Cauliflower Snake's strange taste. He actually liked such a plump woman.

He had asked Cauliflower Snake about it before, but the latter had replied with an infatuated expression, "You don't understand. This is what a woman with real flavor is like."

Yan Lin simply couldn't appreciate it. All he could say was that everyone had their own preferences.

They were not fellow travelers.

If they were fellow travelers, then even if they appreciated different things at first, they would eventually walk the same path as they grew older.

For example, when he watched Journey to the West as a child, he only cared about the monkey. When he watched Three Kingdoms, he had even questioned Cao Mengde's taste.

Now, he questioned Cao Mengde, understood Cao Mengde, and had become Meng... Ahem. Yan Lin was not such a vulgar man.

He merely liked big waves.

Mm, that wasn't one requirement.

Just like plain and unremarkable—those were two key points!

"Cui Hua!"

Following Yan Lin's gesture, Cauliflower Snake spotted the girl he loved, and his eyes immediately filled with hearts. His besotted expression made Yan Lin roll his eyes. Look at that pathetic state.

He really couldn't appreciate Cauliflower Snake's taste in women.

But to be fair, the two of them were quite well matched.

For example, they were both rather large, and both their names had the character "Hua" in them. See? That was ape fate!

"Godfather, I was wrong."

After tearing his gaze away from Cui Hua Snake, Cauliflower Snake immediately changed his attitude. His face changed even faster than Sichuan opera face-changing.

Yan Lin, who was already used to this, smiled as if everything was under control. How could Sun Wukong escape the Tathagata Buddha's palm?

A mere Cauliflower Snake—completely under control!

"Hehehe, just call me brother."

"Brother, what should I do?"

Cauliflower Snake called him brother without the slightest hesitation.

For the sake of winning over the girl he loved, recognizing a brother was nothing shameful.

"Don't rush. Your brother has the Thirty-Six Strategies for Picking Up Girls. I guarantee you'll succeed at once and drive straight to the Yellow Dragon!"

Hearing that, Cauliflower Snake grinned, his smile positively lecherous as he repeatedly urged Yan Lin to reveal the brilliant plan.

Thanks to Yan Lin's help over the past few times, Cauliflower Snake had managed to upgrade his relationship with Cui Hua Snake from strangers to something vaguely ambiguous.

He knew that without Yan Lin's help, he could never have achieved this much by himself. Thus, Cauliflower Snake was utterly convinced by Yan Lin's skill at picking up girls.

To win over the girl he loved, never mind calling him brother—even recognizing him as godfather would be fine.

Men could bend and stretch like that!

"Do this, then do that..."

Seeing Cauliflower Snake acting as impatient as a monkey, Yan Lin teased his friend a few times before imparting his secret technique for picking up girls.

This was the result of experience he had gathered in his previous life from various masters and his own personal practice.

But the one he regarded as a classic was still Master Cai's profound saying—kill the ugly ones too!

Mm, not kill the ugly ones according to their looks!

"Yan Lin, as expected of you!"

After hearing Yan Lin's brilliant plan, Cauliflower Snake happily punched him in the chest. But when he saw Cui Hua Snake about to leave ahead, he immediately chased after her without even turning his head to look at Yan Lin.

Yan Lin could still hear his hurried parting words in his ears. "Yan Lin, head back by yourself. Remember to tell my parents that I won't be home for dinner today."

Well, well. When he needed something, it was brother; when he didn't, it was straight back to Yan Lin.

Yan Lin was both annoyed and amused. He couldn't help cursing that friend who valued women over friends. "Damn it, you unfilial son!"

They had clearly agreed to return to the Mobaas Tribe together, yet he had abandoned Yan Lin and flown solo for a woman.

What a heartless bastard the moment he saw a girl!

Yan Lin grumbled indignantly to himself, I really don't understand it. At an age when his hair hasn't even fully grown in, what kind of romance is he talking about?

Even if he succeeds, would he have anywhere to put it to use?

Suddenly, a thought flashed through Yan Lin's mind. He lowered his head and looked. "Mm... I think I actually do."

The corners of Yan Lin's lips curled up as he smiled smugly. My little brother is invincible beneath the heavens!