Sairona called for a doctor. After checking Rono's pulse, lifting his eyelids, and doing this and that, the doctor came to a conclusion: "He's probably pregnant." Ahem! No, that wasn't it.
The doctor stood up and asked Sairona, "Has he been having sex lately?" Sairona answered calmly, "No." The doctor pulled a cigarette from his coat pocket, lit it, took a drag, and gazed up at the sky as though he'd thought of something. "You don't appreciate it when you're young, then you're old and left with nothing but tears~ Give him a few days of IV nutrition and see how he does. Make him some supplements, too. For his kidneys." He crushed out his cigarette and sauntered away.
Sairona stared blankly at the swaggering old doctor. "I have one MMP I don't know whether I should say." Nima, Rono didn't even have a girlfriend, so it could only be... The more he thought about it, the more terrifying it seemed. What kind of constitution did Rono have? He could keep living even with his head gone, and his recovery was astonishing. And yet... Sairona glanced at his right hand, let out a long sigh, and said nothing more.
Rono woke up five days later. Seeing how haggard he looked, Sairona patted his shoulder. "You should quit."
"????"
Sairona gave him a look that said he understood, then brought out a bowl of lamb testicle soup. "This should help. You don't have any descendants yet."
Rono stared at him in confusion. What was wrong with this world?
"How long was I unconscious?"
"Five days. You have no idea how much IV nutrition you absorbed." Sairona recalled the scene and clicked his tongue.
Following the doctor's advice, Sairona had taken Rono to the hospital. After a nurse hooked him up to an IV, Rono's cells had been like sponges encountering water. In less than three minutes, a whole day's worth of nutrition had been drained. Sairona called the nurse back to add another bottle. That one lasted a little longer—five minutes. Eventually, the nurse simply left five bottles beside Rono's bed. Thankfully, after absorbing four days' worth of nutrition, Rono's cells were finally satisfied, and the IV began draining at a normal rate again.
"Gelu Gelu." Rono finished the lamb testicle soup and looked puzzled. "What does this have to do with whether I have descendants?"
Sairona looked at Rono's bewildered face and thought, Keep pretending. Let's see how long you can keep it up.
"Ugh! Why do I feel hot?" Rono scratched his head, then looked down at the blanket. "..."
"What did you give me?" Rono covered his crotch and shouted at Sairona. "I'm not suffering from kidney deficiency!"
"(-_-) Quit pretending. You've already been admitted to the hospital and you're still running your mouth."
"? Admitted to the hospital?" Rono thought for a moment, then finally figured out what had happened. System, come out!
"Actually, you didn't pass out because you overdid it." System Loli flashed into view and spoke to Rono.
"I know that already!" Rono snapped.
"You passed out because you gave birth. Other people take ten months, but you only took an hour." System Loli said this with an air of cheerful indifference.
"!!!!!!" Rono's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "I'm a fucking man, and I gave birth?"
"Oh, it wasn't childbirth in the traditional sense. Didn't you transfer your life force to that Strange Tree with the Control-Control Fruit?" System Loli explained. Rono had a bad feeling about this, and sure enough, System Loli's next words confirmed it. "So, you'll have a baby very soon."
Ten minutes later, Sairona watched Rono's expression change and thought, There you go. You can't hide it after all, can you?
"Sairona..."
"I know. You should quit." Sairona waved a hand. "When a prodigal son turns over a new leaf, he's worth more than gold."
"No, Sairona. I think I'm going to be a father..." Rono looked utterly despairing.
"..." Sairona wondered if he'd heard wrong. "You're having a child?"
"Yeah," Rono replied.
"Then who's the child's mother?" Sairona thought, Damn, I'm still single, and you're about to have a kid. Could that be why you passed out? Heh heh heh.
"There isn't one."
"Whatever the case, you..." Sairona's deadpan expression faltered. He'd been halfway through responding confidently, but the words caught in his throat, and he could only stammer, "You mean the child doesn't have a mother?" Sairona knew Rono wasn't the sort of person who would get someone pregnant and then run away. That meant Rono would be giving birth to the child himself.
"Are you a woman?" Sairona's mind was in turmoil.
"No, it's..." Rono explained what had happened, leaving out the part about the System.
Then the two grown men spent every day staring at the Strange Tree. They really did discover something astonishing. The Strange Tree, which had been perfectly healthy, slowly began to wither. Its leaves shriveled, and its trunk gradually shrank. Yes, shrank. The hole Rono had dug around it had become a hollow.
Even when missions came in, Rono turned them down, saying he was recovering from an injury. Spandam had also visited, but he didn't know anything was amiss. He thought the Strange Tree had reached its shedding season, only more dramatically than usual.
A month later, Rono was watching the Strange Tree as usual. It was now only fifty centimeters tall, surrounded by a hole Rono had dug. "Crack." The tree's bark gave a brittle snap and split open. A Little Treant with dark red hair and vein-like patterns on its body crawled out. "Gelu Gelu."
"..." Rono was speechless. I can't fucking understand you!
The Little Treant leaped straight into Rono's arms and rubbed its face against his chest, looking utterly content.
"Congratulations, Host, on the birth of your son! Let's celebrate!" System Loli appeared dressed in red, wearing a red brimless hat and holding a flower basket. Colorful flowers drifted down from it.
"Piaji." System Loli quietly turned into a wall decoration.
Rono looked at the Little Treant in his arms and felt a bond of blood between them. Seeing Rono looking at him, the Little Treant grinned, showing a toothless mouth. "Gelu Gelu."
"Is that the only thing you can say? Maybe you're just too young?" Rono trusted his instincts.
"You're always going 'Gelu Gelu,' so I'll call you Gelu."
"Gelu Gelu." The Little Treant yawned, closed his eyes, and fell asleep in Rono's arms.
Sairona happened to come out. Seeing Rono cradling the child and the shattered remains of the Strange Tree scattered across the courtyard, he asked quietly, "It came out?"
"Shh—" Rono put a finger to his lips, signaling him to be quiet. After putting Little Treant Gelu in his room, he and Sairona talked in the courtyard.
"So that's your tree son?" Sairona asked, perfectly deadpan. Deadpan level: MAX.
"Uh, yeah." Rono nodded.
"Aaaaah! Rono, I'm going to kill you!" System Loli charged at Rono with a four-meter-long blade—an absolute giant weapon in his hands. System Loli's attacks ignored Rono's defenses and caused him direct mental pain.
Rono dodged System Loli's "fatal" attack, grabbed him with one hand, and snatched the long blade away with the other, tossing it aside. Then he continued talking to Sairona. "I'm going to raise him."
Before you continue