Hit Him Until He Smokes

Madara's Underground Base.

Madara glared at the person White Zetsu had brought back. "This is the Kekkei Genkai user from Kusagakure who knows the Forbidden Technique Dragon Life Reincarnation?"

White Zetsu nodded. "Yes, Lord Madara. She's a core member of Kusagakure's antiwar faction, Kusano Hana, and the only person of her generation with the Kekkei Genkai needed to use Dragon Life Reincarnation."

The person standing before Madara and the Group was a little girl, no more than four or five. Her silvery-white hair was tied up, and her pale purple pupils had concentric rings.

What a shame. If the whites of her eyes had rings too, she would have had the Rinnegan.

At that moment, she was staring at the fierce-looking people in terror. She had been practicing Ninjutsu with her master in the village when some strange man had suddenly abducted her.

"Cough, cough, cough..."

Madara coughed hard, then fixed Liao Wu with a cold stare. "Liao Wu, are you sure this child can Restore Youth for me?"

"Well..."

Liao Wu wasn't sure. Resurrection in the world of Hokage didn't work by Equivalent Exchange, and Level Suppression wasn't a factor either.

One use of the Reanimation Technique could revive a whole crowd. Someone at Madara's level could be brought back through a Secret Technique, no matter whose life was used.

But using a Secret Technique depended on the user. A child this young probably hadn't even mastered hers. How could she bring someone back to life?

Madara took one look at Liao Wu's hesitation and knew he'd been fooled. Anger surged through him. "Have a shock!"

"AAAAH—NO! ANCESTOR!"

Liao Wu felt like Gray Wolf, with Madara playing Handsome Black. Whenever he did something Madara didn't like, he got electrocuted.

Seeing Madara treat Liao Wu so cruelly only frightened the little girl more.

Obito stepped forward to comfort her. "Don't be scared, little girl. I'll protect you!"

The moment she saw Obito's face, she recoiled as though she'd seen a ghost.

Tobi laughed at him. "Obito, stop scaring her. You're the most frightening-looking one here."

"Damn it!"

Obito was devastated. If even a girl this young was afraid of him, how could he ever face Rin?

Was he doomed to spend his next life rubbing Kakashi's back?

No—

Before long, Madara had finished questioning the little girl.

Her name was Ryūsetsu, and she belonged to Kusagakure's Bopai faction, Kusano Hana. She did possess the Forbidden Technique Dragon Life Reincarnation.

But Dragon Life Reincarnation didn't resurrect the dead. It saved people on the brink of death. Once someone died and their soul went to the Pure Land, the technique couldn't bring them back.

Besides, Ryūsetsu had only just begun her Road to Ninja. At her age, she hadn't mastered Dragon Life Reincarnation yet.

Madara didn't care. He put Ryūsetsu under a Sharingan Illusion Technique, ready to sacrifice the child's life for his own.

Obito charged at him like a madman. "Madara Uchiha! You'd sacrifice a child this young for your own sake? Are you even human?"

White Zetsu summoned several vines to bind Obito as he rushed forward.

Obito glared furiously at Liao Wu. "Liao Wu, is this your doing?"

Liao Wu shouted to Tobi, "Tobi, hit him! Hit him until he smokes!"

"You got it!"

Delighted, Tobi immediately set to work on Obito.

Madara had lost all interest in Obito. His standing in the base had fallen so far that even Tobi could walk all over him.

Just as Madara was about to make Ryūsetsu activate the Forbidden Technique, Liao Wu caught her hand.

"Liao Wu!"

Madara's aura rose steadily. Old as he was, the tiger still had his strength. He would not tolerate a monkey's tricks.

Liao Wu said, "Ancestor, Dragon Life Reincarnation saves people on the brink of death. You aren't dying yet, so it won't work on you."

Madara stared at him. "So..."

Liao Wu explained, "Pull out those tubes behind you and put yourself on the brink of death!"

"..."

Madara held Liao Wu's gaze for a good ten seconds.

The Sharingan Illusion Technique on Ryūsetsu was dispelled as well. She woke to find a handsome young man holding her hand.

Liao Wu seemed like the most human person in the whole base!

And he was so good-looking. He had to be kind.

Madara raised a hand to shock him, and Liao Wu hurriedly lifted Ryūsetsu in front of himself as a shield.

Ryūsetsu: "(⊙﹏⊙)"

Liao Wu was the least human one here!

"Ancestor, that's how Dragon Life Reincarnation works. I can't help it if you don't believe me."

Madara sighed and lowered his hand. "Every second I spend awake is a burden. Zetsu, bury the lot of them in the toilet."

Liao Wu scrambled to save himself. "Wait—I have an idea! I have another idea!"

"Orochimaru has a Forbidden Technique called Living Corpse Reincarnation. It lets you transfer into someone else's body. Ancestor, you could move into a young body."

"I've even picked someone for you: Obito. A genius like him comes along once in a century among the Uchiha! His Sharingan had Two Tomoe the moment it awakened!"

Tobi was beating Obito until smoke rose off him. At Liao Wu's words, Obito cursed, "Liao Wu, you bastard!"

Madara swung his cane at Liao Wu. "Fool! I don't want to move into anyone else's body. I want my own body restored to its prime."

Clutching his head, Liao Wu looked at Madara's face, all wrinkled like old tree bark.

The older generation was too set in its ways to accept someone else's body. Madara, with his pride, would reject one outright.

Madara seized Liao Wu by the collar. "Liao Wu, I don't have time for jokes. I must Restore Youth as soon as possible, or you'll be buried with me!"

At this point, Liao Wu could only come clean. "Ancestor, I can develop my Forbidden Technique to Restore Youth for someone else."

"Give me enough time, and I can Restore Youth for you."

Madara stared at him. "How long do you need this time?"

Liao Wu ventured, "A year!"

Madara looked ready to shock him, so Liao Wu hastily changed his answer. "With Dragon Life Reincarnation to study, one month will be enough! Ancestor, surely you can hold on that long!"

Madara lowered his hand and gave Liao Wu an icy look. "Fine. You have one month. If you still haven't developed the technique by then..."

"You, Obito, and this little girl will all be buried with me!"

Liao Wu nodded. "Don't worry, Ancestor. I'll make you young again and put you back at the top of the Ninja World."

"But Ancestor, could you indulge a little hobby of mine?"

Madara looked at Liao Wu. He knew the type: unless Liao Wu got something out of it, he wouldn't lift a finger.

"Speak!"

Liao Wu said, "I love Ninjutsu. I couldn't perform any when I was sick, but I'm healthy now. Could you teach me a hundred or so?"

"..."

Madara was silent for a moment. Black Zetsu emerged from his shadow and merged into White Zetsu's body.

"He is the embodiment of my will. Go to him if you need anything from now on."

With that, Madara could no longer resist falling asleep. He was exhausted.

Liao Wu looked at the sleeping Madara and wanted nothing more than to smash a Rasengan into his head. But Black and White Zetsu was watching, so he didn't dare make a move.

Black Zetsu turned away. "Come with me. Lord Madara's collection of Ninjutsu is right here!"