The Shame of the Monster World

"Senior, I'm really not trying to argue. How long has this villa been here? Do you even know what two thousand years means?"

"Heh, of course I know what it means. You're the one who doesn't." A thousand-year-old monster's world-weary air suddenly seeped into his voice.

Perhaps a life spent imprisoned left him with nothing but the cachet of age and experience to sell.

"This villa complex was built 123 years ago. The owner of Villa No. 9 was Spirit Intelligence's previous master. In this era, he was once a man of considerable standing. But in the end, he was only ever a temporary choice."

"Oh? If it already had an owner, why did it choose me? And what happened to the villa's owner?"

Jiang Yue vaguely began to understand why the other party had cursed that paper talisman so furiously.

Could it be that the talisman was inherently fickle, prone to changing its mind at the drop of a hat?

"Why did it choose you? Probably because you were born with bad-luck loser written all over you. As for the villa's owner, he's most likely dead."

"Dead?"

All right!

Jiang Yue could just about accept that explanation. Most people lived to around seventy or eighty.

The villa was over a hundred years old. Whoever owned it back then would have to be at least a hundred and fifty by now.

Dead fit the logic well enough.

"If I remember correctly, you should be the eighty-first owner of this rune."

Eighty-first?

That was almost enough for an entire company.

Then again, if you stretched the timeline across several thousand years, perhaps it wasn't that many.

Here was the question.

With so many previous, previous, previous... previous owners, had every single one of them been a loser without exception?

The other party seemed able to see right through Jiang Yue's thoughts. "You guessed right. Not one of your predecessors managed to master Spirit Intelligence."

"You may not know this, but failing to master it comes at a price."

"A price? Like what?"

"For example... heh, take a look at me. The one you're talking to right now is a cat, a relief sculpture hanging on the wall."

"Come to think of it, I was pretty lucky. It needed a guide, someone to lead it to new owners and talk them into things."

"What about the other previous owners?"

"Who knows? They're probably all dead." The other party didn't seem to care much. By his account, he'd lived for thousands of years. Who would still care about the lives and deaths of people who didn't matter?

Following that line of reasoning, Jiang Yue felt that he'd soon become a previous owner too.

"Senior... One last question. It chose me, but as the second party, I have the right to refuse, don't I?"

"Heh, that just shows how young you are! You're talking about rights and refusal in front of the first party, the big boss? How naive can you be?"

"Of course, if you ask me, there actually is a way to refuse."

"What?"

"Become a previous owner."

Jiang Yue almost let loose a stream of curses. He was old enough to know better. What good did being so sharp-tongued do him?

Jiang Yue's mocking gaze shifted between the two raised sculptures on either side of the living room, then settled on the cat-shaped one.

"Previous owner, I'd advise you to show a little kindness. Does seeing me suffer make you feel better about yourself? We're both unlucky. Why make one miserable person pick on another?"

Jiang Yue wasn't a pushover either. The other party's sharp tongue had annoyed him, and he'd gone from calling him "Senior" to "Previous Owner" in an instant.

"Heh, don't get too pleased with yourself yet. As far as I know, every time Spirit Intelligence finds a new sweetheart, it gives them a little welcome gift. The statistics show that twenty-six of your predecessors didn't even pass the first test. Those are what you'd call cannon-fodder previous owners."

Jiang Yue couldn't help groaning inwardly.

All he'd done was accept a delivery. How had he ended up in such a deep hole?

More importantly, what was this first test?

Even if he was going to die, shouldn't he at least know exactly how? Jiang Yue didn't want to be left in the dark while someone else arranged his fate for him.

As Jiang Yue fretted, the two enormous eyes of the cat-shaped relief suddenly opened, and two laser-like beams shot straight at him.

Jiang Yue didn't have time to react. The beams shot directly into his brain.

It was as if the power had suddenly come on, activating some kind of energy inside his mind.

"Don't resist. Spirit Intelligence is rebooting. Once it's done, you'll be its current master. As for how long that lasts, that depends on your luck."

Spirit Intelligence!

Jiang Yue had heard those two words mentioned several times already.

Was that the name of the paper talisman? It didn't sound so annoying after all.

The reboot took only a few seconds, but the amount of information Jiang Yue absorbed felt like he'd lived through countless cycles of reincarnation.

In those few seconds, countless images flashed past one frame at a time.

He saw primeval giants wielding enormous bone spikes as they battled savage beasts; armies in full armor surrounding a city and laying siege to it; the shocking sight of seawater flooding across the land as the earth sank; and countless giant starships assembling to attack a fortress in space...

The final image was of a monster with a featureless, hollow face, draped in a long black cloak. It came lunging at Jiang Yue's neck, brandishing a pale scythe as it swept toward him on a chill wind heavy with sinister energy.

Ding!

Reboot successful.

An interface appeared in Jiang Yue's mind.

Five words appeared on the interface: Newbie Welcome Gift.

Below them were two options: Accept, and Decline.

Judging by what the cat-shaped relief, who claimed to be the guide, had told him, if he chose Decline, the first party would probably do something horrific.

It looked like a choice between two options, but there was really only one.

I'm the lowly second party.

So, accept!

Newbie Welcome Gift: Hundred Evils Immunity Halo, duration: 24 hours.

Newbie Mission: Track the Year Eater. Time limit: 24 hours.

Mission Reward: A random reward upon completion.

The interface lingered for three seconds before disappearing from his mind.

Jiang Yue pursed his lips. Given the way the whole thing had started, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been a little excited.

The System Daddy might have been late, but at least it had finally arrived.

Although the cat-shaped relief had kept sneering at him, Jiang Yue had actually thought of it as a resentful, nagging ex.

He hadn't taken all that bitter complaining entirely seriously.

Especially the images that had flashed past when Spirit Intelligence started up. Every frame had been fleeting and impossible to make out clearly.

But that hadn't stopped Jiang Yue from thinking it was impressive.

With an opening that grand, surely the story would be just as epic?

His pants were already around his knees, and all he got was a newbie mission?

Not even a little guidance? Not an ounce of human consideration?

Jiang Yue swore this was the most irresponsible system he'd ever seen. If you could even call it a system...

After that, no matter how many times he called out, the thing kept playing dead.

Jiang Yue was speechless.

He glanced at the cat-shaped relief in the corner with sympathy, and suddenly felt a strange sense of kinship. He even understood, just a little, why it had been so resentful.

Anyone would have trouble keeping their temper around something so moody, wouldn't they?

And it had imprisoned him after they broke up. Worse still, it had turned him into a cat—and not just any cat, but a solid, stone cat!

There couldn't be many things in the world crueler than that, could there?

"Kid, shaking in your boots yet?" The cat-shaped relief was still as gleefully malicious as ever.

"Want to know what happens if you fail the newbie mission?"

"Do you know what those five words, 'cannon-fodder previous owner,' mean?"

Jiang Yue was too exasperated to reply. Had this previous owner become so twisted that he couldn't tell right from wrong and had to take a jab at everyone he met?

Jiang Yue sighed. "I just want to know if there's a hammer in this villa."

"What do you want a hammer for?"

"I'd rather know if a hammer could make you shut up."

The other party's voice suddenly turned shrill. "No! You absolutely can't do that! You've only just inherited Spirit Intelligence, and you still need guidance from me, its previous owner."

"Besides, I'm Spirit Intelligence's appointed guide. If you smash me, who's going to do the job? Aren't you afraid you'll anger Spirit Intelligence and get humanely exterminated on the spot?"

Huh? Jiang Yue rubbed his chin and looked meaningfully at the cat-shaped relief. It seemed the other party was all bark and no bite. He was scared of a hammer, for crying out loud. How had he survived for thousands of years?

If a world of monsters really existed, this coward would be the shame of the monster world.

"Little brother, really, don't do anything rash. You have to admit, someone like me, who's lived for thousands of years, has some experience. I might be able to help you."

It was pretty clear now: this guy only responded to a hard line, not kindness.

"If you want me not to smash you, fine! Answer a few questions honestly."

"Ask away. I'll tell you everything I know."

People with loose tongues often knew how to read the room.

Jiang Yue hadn't even begun torturing him, and he was already preparing to surrender ahead of time.