Volume Two: Life and Death in the Northern Realm - Chapter 132: Exiles and Uninvited Guests

In the spacious cave

A blinding beam of light flashed by, illuminating the road. That was, of course, Givinia and me.

Holding searchlights, we carefully walked along the rugged ground, skirting around thick stone pillars and walking past low-hanging stalactites, venturing deeper and deeper into the cave.

A long time--

"Hey, Givinia."

"What's wrong?"

"... Let's tell you the truth, what exactly do you want?"

"Well, I was just helping a friend with a secret out of a tight spot, no need to thank me too much."

She had noticed it all along, as expected.

"... Thank you for your trouble, you even helped me persuade those two sisters."

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"So, how much do you know about my purpose?"

"How much do you know? Are you talking about secretly hiding a Crystal Emperor Fruit? Or sneaking out to eat it? Or is it that something happened to your lovely plant specimen?"

"So you saw it all after all..."

"My Mind Projection are incredibly effective at gathering intelligence."

"In short, he's a voyeur."

"Don't put it that way, I was just curious."

"Is that so... Oh well, this is a good opportunity to lay my cards on the table."

Clearing my throat, I began my explanation. Of course, I only explained the special nature of my ability and how I had to devour external objects to advance. As for how I knew what to devour, I glossed over it, since I couldn't go around talking about the Huang Huo and the organization.

"So, your original intention in participating was to search for rare and precious materials in the Northern Boundary and bring them to your own use?"

"That's one way to understand it, but another purpose is to train myself and grow further."

"I see. So, what we need to find now is that 'Lycoris radiata burning like flames'?"

"That's officially called 'Yan Yi Ming Hua', ah... go left."

The sparks from the specimen in our hands drifted to the left, and we turned onto the left fork in the road. It seems that these species are attracted to each other; automatic navigation is so convenient.

"By the way A Ye, do you remember our unfinished conversation when we went to the market before?"

"... Ah, I remember a little bit."

I don't just remember a little bit; I remember it perfectly clearly.

"'I'd like to ask you, from childhood to adulthood, have you ever truly lived even a single day to the fullest?' That's what you asked me at the end."

"Haha, it's not just that I remember a little bit, it's that I remember it very clearly."

This guy... is difficult to deal with in a different sense than Haoyue.

Why did you ask me so many questions back then? Did you have a crush on me?

"You've taken a liking to me? Perhaps, but more importantly..."

She stopped and stared straight at me, a hint of something unusual in her gentle gaze.

"I think we're very similar."

"..."

"Could you tell me more about yourself? I think maybe we could become 'friends'."

... Sure enough, my premonition was correct.

No, I should say I subconsciously noticed it the first time I saw it on the ship.

Givinia Sorel, and I, and Haoyue, are the same kind of people.

"Givinia, to the question, 'Have you ever truly lived even a single day in your life?' my answer is—almost none."

"Hehe, just as I guessed."

Her smile widened.

"At least, during the more than ten years I spent in my hometown, I have never truly lived a meaningful life since I was old enough to understand things."

"What's the reason?"

"Perhaps it's because... I don't think that the kind of happiness that ordinary people value has any worth."

"Is it... worthless...?"

"Yes... Have I told you before? My ultimate goal is to go home, but my hometown is very, very far away, so far that it's almost impossible to go back. When I'm in my hometown, I always live a life that's like a set routine. As you said, I've never truly lived a single day seriously."

"So you left your hometown to come here and participate in the competition?"

"This should be considered a kind of force majeure. And don't get me wrong, I don't think this place is much better than my hometown, because all the 'fixed patterns' of my hometown apply here as well."

"Wait, what you mean by 'fixed pattern' is...?"

"It's a set pattern... On a grand scale, it's everyone's predetermined life. Don't you think society is like a monotonous assembly line? From birth, to school, to work, to supporting a family, and finally to old age and death. Occasionally, some successful people or celebrities can enjoy a slightly different life—but that's all. Their so-called 'different life' is nothing more than having a little more money and a little more fame than ordinary people."

Let me give you an example. From a very young age, like other children, I listened to my parents tell stories of great people and successful individuals on my bedside. These innocent children, influenced by what they heard and heard from a young age, naively strived for so-called 'success.' But does the success they ultimately achieve truly have meaning? The reason children strive to emulate the great figures of their dreams is simply because elders, schools, newspapers, books, and all the media they encounter promote the idea of a successful life. Therefore, children believe that 'humans are born to fight for success.' Ultimately, all of this is merely 'borrowed'...

On a smaller scale, it's about each person's emotions and personality. Different people are interested in different things, laugh or cry for different reasons, seemingly possessing a rich and colorful inner world... But in my eyes, it's just a product of fixed patterns. Everyone's emotions can be expressed by the same set formulas. Substituting a certain parameter into this formula yields 'happiness,' and substituting a certain parameter into that formula yields 'sadness.' The parameters vary from person to person, but the formula remains the same. The seemingly free human heart, in the end, is just a product bound by fixed patterns."

"Well, in some ways, your thinking is quite rebellious."

"Perhaps... I don't know why, but when I was just five or six years old, I started to question this world. At first, I just didn't understand why I had to conform to whatever society promoted. Later, I could analyze the psychology of my playful peers as an 'observer,' but I couldn't experience their joy or sorrow as a 'participant.' I always couldn't help but wonder—'Why is everyone so strange? Why do they do what their elders say is good? Why do they obediently listen to the ideas promoted in textbooks? Why are they genuinely happy when adults say something is good? Why are people so happy even though they are clearly bound by fixed patterns?'"

Of course, as I grew older, I gradually realized—it wasn't them who were strange, but me. However, even with increased maturity, my deepest thought patterns remained unchanged. Watching those around me rejoice at achieving good grades and finding beautiful boyfriends or girlfriends, I still couldn't understand their happiness. No matter how hard I tried to change myself, in my eyes, those who simply enjoyed happiness were still bound by fixed patterns, mass-produced products on the assembly line called 'society.'

But--

At this point, I couldn't help but smile.

"I am very happy right now."

Due to various unforeseen circumstances, I was forced to leave my hometown. Therefore, to my hometown, I am now a defective product fallen from the assembly line, an exile far removed from society. And to this new environment we inhabit, I am an uninvited guest, an outsider out of place in this world. Thus—"

"Neither the 'established rules' of your hometown nor the 'established rules' inherent in this new environment can constrain you."

"--That's right."

Therefore, only here can I truly forge my own path, live a life that truly belongs to me, and seek true happiness.

"But you just said that your ultimate goal is to go home, yet you're enjoying your new environment. Isn't that a contradiction?"

"It's not contradictory at all. Look, Givinia, everyone has to die eventually, right?"

"Yes, no matter how wonderful a life may be, death is always everyone's final destination."

"That's right. People will eventually die, fallen leaves will eventually return to the earth, and rivers will eventually flow into the sea. Everything in this world has its own destiny. Perhaps I will experience an incredibly exciting and thrilling life in a new world, but I will eventually reach the end. At that time, I hope to choose my own place to go."

When I first arrived in this other world, I made up a seemingly plausible excuse for my desire to "go home": "So that my family and friends wouldn't worry about my disappearance."

But after spending time with Haoyue, I gradually became able to face my true self.

For me, the only true home is my home planet Earth.

Because I want to escape from there.

People always want to stay away from the grave.

My hometown is like a tomb to me. There, I would lose my 'self' and live simply as 'a part of humanity,' which is no different from death.

Therefore, my hometown is the perfect destination for my journey.

After all, once you reach the finish line, you can't go any further.

"Pfft..."

Givinia suddenly burst into laughter.

"Hahaha... hahahaha... puhahahahahahahahahaha!!! So that's how it is. The end was set at the very beginning. You enjoyed yourself enough and then stepped into the grave. You're really something, A Ye!! As expected, as expected! I have a request. Can you listen to it?"

"Go ahead and say it."

"Let's be friends!"

"Don't want."

"You're so decisive, almost ruthless, but that's just your true style... Don't be wary of me. Birds of a feather flock together, and people of the same kind attract each other. You must have noticed that already! We're the same when it comes to 'choosing our own destiny early'!"

"Probably... I did realize a long time ago that we're the same kind of people, but unfortunately, I already have a friend."

For me, one true friend is enough.

Besides, she's prettier than you.

"Really? Your friend is quite enviable, but it's alright—there's plenty of time in the future."

You gave up so decisively, I'm really impressed with you now, Givinia.

Just then--

The specimen in my hand emitted a brilliant red glow, flickering in the air like flames. The surrounding temperature suddenly rose, as if a miniature sun was baking the cave!

"... It seems we're getting close to our destination."

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A long chapter of over 3000 words; writing about all sorts of personality traits is definitely the hardest part. So tiring...

So even if you don't have Monthly Votes, please post a book review, everyone!

By the way, this new chapter is a direct copy of the previous "Characters - Void Realm" chapter, so it's not showing up in the update notification...