Losing Weight Is Impossible!

Advanced Troll Skill!

This skill was seriously powerful.

But, you lousy system, don't you think there's been some kind of misunderstanding between us?

Would you call me a troll?

At most, I just can't control my Primordial Power.

Brother Xian didn't think he was at the level of a troll yet. It was true that he spoke bluntly sometimes, but he wasn't so outspoken that he'd pick fights with people for no reason.

This time, his "friendly" interaction with the netizens had been a complete accident.

It had all happened so suddenly that Brother Xian hadn't been prepared at all. He'd acted purely on instinct.

In a situation like that... it was understandable.

He couldn't keep making excuses.

The damn truth was, he just couldn't hold back.

Li Xian wasn't a coward. When trouble came, he absolutely wouldn't back down. So many people had "ganged up" on him—was he supposed to just take it and let them walk all over him?

No way!

If he let them get used to it, he'd never be able to hold his head up again.

Besides, any normal person would have been unable to put up with that kind of thing.

And Li Xian had a system on his side.

Enough about that. Brother Xian hadn't given any thought to the consequences of hitting back at the netizens. His attention was all on the system rewards.

Once he understood what [I Am Megaphone] did, he put the Skill Card in a Card Slot to try it out.

Unfortunately, there was no one else in the house, so shouting a couple of times didn't demonstrate what the skill could do.

Still, just as the skill description said, Brother Xian could feel that his voice had gotten louder and deeper.

Was this the suppression effect?

A contest to see who could shout the loudest?

Damn, wouldn't shouting like that all the time wear you out?

Li Xian smacked his lips and removed the Skill Card from the Card Slot. Using that skill was way too hard on his throat.

After testing the new skill, Li Xian took another system reward out of his inventory.

It was a wooden business card case, about half the size of his palm. It was made of precious rosewood and decorated with exquisite carvings. It looked extraordinary.

Anything the system gave him had to be high-end, right?

The case looked this damn impressive, so the business cards inside had better not disappoint.

Li Xian immediately grew interested and carefully opened the case.

Sure enough, the lousy system hadn't let him down. The moment the case opened, a dazzling golden light spilled out, nearly blinding his pay-to-win eyes.

What the hell... Was it made of gold?

Brother Xian stared in shock at the business cards inside, his eyes wide. Could they be fake? Or some kind of purple gold again?

At the thought, Li Xian took a card out of the case and examined it.

It was about the same size as a regular business card. He weighed it in his hand; it felt about as heavy as a one-yuan coin, roughly five or six grams.

He bit down on it, leaving a faint tooth mark. It had to be gold.

His portrait was printed in the upper-left corner of the front, so lifelike it could have been real, and his name was engraved in the lower-right. The back had no pattern, but it felt slightly matte to the touch.

The design was very simple, yet it still managed to exude luxury.

After all, it was made of gold. Even if there was nothing on it, it was still incredibly impressive.

Thank you, system daddy, for this perfect tool for showing off.

Brother Xian could already picture the other person's astonished expression when he handed over one of these cards.

One... two... ten... twenty... fifty...

There were exactly fifty cards. At the current price of gold, they were worth over a hundred thousand yuan.

System daddy had been pretty generous this time, handing over real gold and silver.

After putting the cards back in the case, Brother Xian wondered whether he should buy a jacket with an inside pocket. Pulling a business card out of his pants pocket didn't seem quite right.

After thinking it over, he decided against it. A golden business card was still impressive even if he pulled it out of his back pocket, smell and all.

Hmph~~ If gold fell into a latrine, would it stop being gold?

Brother Xian tossed the case into his inventory and got ready to draw.

He still had two draws left from the previous chain quest, so today he could do a four-card pull.

You lousy system, you're nothing but a lousy general store. You don't have a single good thing.

If you've got what it takes, give me some trash. You can't hide that lousy general-store vibe of yours anyway.

Don't you dare make me look down on you, you lousy system!

He silently gave the system an ironic reverse blessing, then triggered the draw with a thought.

When the game system had reached level 2, it had added some colorful animations to the draws. They were completely useless, though, and only made the process take longer.

About ten seconds later, the winning notifications appeared in his mind.

[Congratulations! You obtained a consumable card: Beginner Lazy Fitness Card.]

[Congratulations! You obtained a consumable card: Skill Upgrade Card.]

[Congratulations! You obtained a Yordle Special Extended Golf Club +1.]

[Congratulations! You obtained Strong Digestive Pills +2.]

Li Xian: "..."

What the hell was going on today?

Had he stepped in dog shit?... Pah!

Was his luck getting better?

No, the reverse blessing had worked.

Ahem, system, I look down on you.

If you've got what it takes, never give me anything good again.

Li Xian grinned slyly. This was the first time a four-card pull had given him two cards, and the other two rewards weren't bad either.

He'd already tried the [Strong Digestive Pills]. He could eat as much as he wanted and become a big eater in no time.

As for the other item, the golf club... Wait, Yordles played golf?

Li Xian took out the club and examined it. It was a very ordinary-looking metal club, and it didn't feel special in his hand. But it was pretty heavy, and more suitable as a weapon than his Purple Gold Ashtray.

One was good for close combat, the other for ranged combat. They complemented each other perfectly.

Still, Brother Xian would rather have had a pool cue. He had a pool skill, and a cue would have been easier to use.

He tossed the club into his inventory and went to look at the two consumable cards.

He'd drawn Wealth Cards, Buff Cards, Skill Cards, and Special Skill Cards before, but this was his first time seeing a consumable card.

As the name suggested, consumable cards were one-use items.

[Skill Upgrade Card description: After use, upgrades any upgradeable skill or Buff. Can only be used once.]

The card's effect was easy enough to understand. Several of Brother Xian's skills and Buffs had upgrade options, and using this card would upgrade one of them.

However, those skills and Buffs of his were all pretty useless, so he had no use for the card for now.

[Beginner Lazy Fitness Card description: After use, fitness results are multiplied by five. Duration: 30 days. (Best results for only 4 hours each day.)]

Exercise? Lose weight?

My body fat is doing just fine. Why would I want to lose weight?

Lousy system, are you looking down on my figure?

Brother Xian scoffed at the fitness card. There was no way he was going to lose weight. The lousy system had clearly given him this card out of prejudice, and it annoyed him.

He put the card back in his inventory with a thought, but just then, a sudden "Ding..." rang in his mind.

[Host has used Beginner Lazy Fitness Card!]

[Fivefold fitness effect will last for 30 days!]

[Note: No effect while stationary or asleep. Best results for only four hours each day.]

What?

I didn't use it!

Lousy system, are you seriously pulling this on me?

P.S. I had some things to take care of today, and I wasn't feeling great either. The recommendations haven't been working too well, so please show your support and give the book a recommendation and an investment!