This Isn't How You Cultivate Immortality
Chapter 1

Immortal? Monster?

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5mo ago

A few idle clouds drifted across the vast, clear sky, like ink washes on a painting, adding a touch of leisurely tranquility, but also a hint of sorrow and worry.

On the training grounds of the <Martial Arts School>, dozens of youths in grey cloth robes paired up, wielding wooden swords and sparring. Their stances and sword techniques were orderly, their shouts stirring the air.

Not far away, in a row of houses, a young man stood by a window, his brow furrowed, his eyes holding a helplessness that his peers couldn't understand.

"Sigh, it finally doesn't hurt so much anymore."

Xiang Yuan shook his heavy head, mumbling to himself, words that would be difficult for his peers to comprehend: "I just want to out-compete you all, or be out-competed by you all... Just saying, I didn't mean anything by it, and you really did out-compete me to death."

"And transmigrating, what is all this?!"

As he spoke, his head throbbed again.

<Western Chu>, <Guanshan Pass>, <Dezhou>...

This was Xiang Yuan's fifth day in this world. Every time he got a headache, memories belonging to 'him' or not belonging to him would flood in. He could only endure it passively.

When the pain became unbearable, he would comfort himself with Zhuang Zhou's dream, the butterfly dreaming of Zhuang Zhou. Perhaps dying from the pain would send him back.

The outcome wasn't great. Transmigration was a one-way ticket; there was no going back. He had, however, come close to death from the pain several times.

In these five days, he had received many fragmented memories, giving him a general understanding of the world he was in and his identity.

The body of this fifteen or sixteen-year-old youth was also named Xiang Yuan. Orphaned from a young age, he had lived on the streets until he was taken in by the imperial court, where he was taught to read, write, and practice martial arts.

There were many youths like Xiang Yuan, and even more with more tragic backgrounds. Whether due to natural disasters or man-made calamities, their lives were cheaper than grass. If not for the court providing them with food, they would have starved to death in some forgotten corner.

Realistically, for the kindness of a meal, having eaten the court's life-saving food, they would dedicate their lives to serving the court like dogs, biting whomever they were told to bite.

Even more realistically, dogs had different breeds.

The imperial court had numerous organizations with varying degrees of power and responsibility. It wasn't a one-size-fits-all situation. For example, <Six Doors>, outside of the <Three Judicial Offices>, wouldn't use the same kind of dog as a common <County Yamen>.

Major organizations would enter the dog market first, selecting the best pups. It would trickle down, and by the time everyone had chosen, the worst batch of pups would be sent to guard barren mountains and mines, becoming no different from stray dogs.

Someone once said that even if you're going to be a dog, you should be born in the capital.

They had all suffered, all nearly starved to death on the streets. No one wanted to be a stray dog; everyone wanted to be imposing. The opportunity to join <Six Doors> was something they would fight for with their lives.

'Xiang Yuan' was the prime example. His talent was above average among the youths, and he practiced martial arts most diligently.

So strong, and yet so hardworking, this kid was likely to be chosen by <Six Doors>.

Everyone thought so.

In the end, before <Six Doors> even arrived, 'Xiang Yuan' out-competed himself to death. He practiced day and night, then rinsed himself with a basin of well water and collapsed, falling into an infant-like sleep.

He had a high fever for three days and woke up as <Xiang Yuan>.

During those three days, <Six Doors> and several other major organizations came and went, selecting most of those they wanted.

As for 'Xiang Yuan', the hardworking monster with decent talent, his past martial arts exam scores were excellent, and the instructor spoke highly of him. However, everyone was busy, and one more or less didn't make much difference. No one took it seriously.

Everyone else had already been chosen. Could this sick patient be a hidden gem!

The two <Xiang Yuan>s, who had out-competed themselves to death, merged into one. Upon waking, he developed headaches, appearing not very bright. The instructor couldn't help but sigh several times upon seeing this.

"We're in the same boat..."

As the pain subsided, Xiang Yuan rubbed his temples. Seeing the youths on the ground put down their wooden swords and gather, he pushed open the door and quickly followed.

The youths sat cross-legged. Xiang Yuan was at the back. They all looked towards the instructor, Lu Ming, in the center, eagerly awaiting the start of today's tales of heroic Jianghu.

<Lu Ming> was a burly old man, over sixty years old. He usually spoke little, but became talkative after a drink, especially when recounting tales of the martial world.

In his words, he had been glorious in his youth. A lay disciple of <Great Awakening Temple>, skilled in swordplay and fist techniques, he punished evil and eliminated wickedness. His name, 'Soaring Roc', was known to all. He was a renowned hero of the martial world, traveling far and wide, commanding respect wherever he went.

Later, <Six Doors> recruited him, and he became a formidable chief constable, solving every peculiar case and capturing every fierce bandit.

Then things went downhill. He was schemed against by thirty-six demonic figures. Although he fought his way out, he lost seven or eight tenths of his divine skills. He returned to his hometown and opened the <Martial Arts School>, incidentally training the court's pups.

The above were <Lu Ming>'s own words, spoken after drinking. It was hard to say how much was true and how much was false, but the youths didn't care, all engrossed in his martial world adventures.

Riding fine horses, seeking swift justice, righting wrongs, proclaiming benevolence.

Let alone these youths, even Xiang Yuan, bombarded by information from the digital age, listened with great enthusiasm. As long as <Lu Ming> drank and started talking, his headache would subside.

"Let me tell you, on that day, this instructor received a letter from a friend. The Three Demons of Dragon's Pool had appeared, and many heroes gathered at <Qi> to discuss a righteous crusade to slay them..."

<Lu Ming> sat cross-legged, raising his wine and drinking heartily. On his stern face, his eyes gradually became animated with the wine, flying with excitement.

He suddenly slapped his knee, scanning the breathless youths, filled with satisfaction, and continued, "This instructor received the letter and dared not delay. I traveled day and night, exhausting three Dragon Blood steeds, and arrived as night fell..."

"In a desolate mountain temple, the heroes fought the three demons with all their might. Among the heroes, this instructor led the charge, fighting two demons alone, until the heavens and earth were in chaos..."

Xiang Yuan listened silently, extracting useful information from <Lu Ming>'s words.

Although the head ailment had helped him integrate many memory fragments, giving him some understanding of the world, it was far from enough. 'Xiang Yuan' came from humble beginnings, and through 'Xiang Yuan's' eyes, he could only see a very small part of the world.

Moreover, under normal circumstances, the youths in the <Martial Arts School> were forbidden to go out. Their food, clothing, housing, and transportation were all procured for them, so he couldn't even see the outside world if he wanted to.

New to the place and unfamiliar with the surroundings, a clear understanding was crucial.

At the very least, he needed to clarify the common knowledge that everyone knew.

Under these circumstances, <Lu Ming> became the most important channel for Xiang Yuan to understand the world. Regardless of whether his drunken tales were exaggerated or self-embellished to a certain extent, battle reports could lie, but battle lines wouldn't. These place names, people's names, customs, and traditions made the fog before Xiang Yuan's eyes dissipate considerably.

It wasn't enough!

<Xiang Yuan> slowly raised his hand, about to beat around the bush and ask about the current worldview, when he saw a young man in front of him raise his hand and block him.

"Instructor, can you tell us more about how powerful our <Western Chu> is?"

Good kid, that question hits the nail on the head.

<Xiang Yuan> silently lowered his hand and gave the cutting-in youth a thumbs up.

"I've said this before, our <Western Chu> is naturally powerful..."

<Lu Ming> wasn't annoyed by being interrupted. He took a drink and said, "Fine, fine, you've asked the right person. This instructor used to serve in <Six Doors>, with eyes that see everywhere and ears that hear all. There are few secrets about great affairs in the world that I don't know. Today, I'll open your eyes."

"As expected of the instructor!"

Amidst the crowd, <Xiang Yuan>'s amazed exclamation rang out, and the youths followed with exclamations.

<Lu Ming> was secretly pleased and spoke rapidly, "The <Southern Border> is beyond civilization, and the <Western Regions> is barren land, not worth mentioning. <Chu>, <Qi>, and <Jin> are the dominant, prosperous lands, the protagonists of the world. Even if many small countries rise, they will ultimately have to submit, unable to make any waves."

"The three kingdoms form a strategic alliance, with the saying that <Western Chu>, <Northern Qi>, and <Southern Jin> divide the world..."

<Lu Ming> spoke at length, his drunkenness growing, and he spoke more and more passionately.

<Xiang Yuan> nodded silently, picturing a rough map in his mind, finally gaining some common sense.

<Lu Ming> spoke for a long time, then turned and said, "The world has its affairs, and the martial world has its affairs. Most of you will be taken in by the various <County Yamen> in <Dezhou>, working as the most basic <Constable>. It's useless to tell you about the great affairs of the world. Today, I'll talk more about the affairs of the martial world. Listen carefully and remember it, lest you offend someone you shouldn't in the future and die without even knowing how!"

Upon hearing this, the young men straightened their backs.

"Today, the world is full of powerful factions, with famous mountain sects, as well as <Noble Families> of dynasties, and crooked paths of <Demonic Beings>, as well as demons and ghosts. Every family has its inheritance, and every person has their divine abilities. They can summon clouds and rain, move mountains and fill seas, and there are not a few figures like immortals and gods."

Immortals?

Monsters?

<Xiang Yuan>'s expression was strange. This information was too explosive, and he couldn't tell if <Lu Ming> had drunk too much or if it was true.

But seeing that no one around questioned it, and the youths all looked as if it were natural, his heart chilled. He secretly thought this world was too dangerous.

"The forces of all sizes in the world are scattered like stars in the sky. To speak only of the current first-rate powers, there are three royal families, four Buddhist sects, five Taoist sects, eight <Demonic Beings>, ten <Noble Families>, and twelve famous mountain sects..."

The three royal families and the ten <Noble Families> could be classified together, collectively known as the thirteen <Noble Families>. Although <Lu Ming> was not part of the imperial court's establishment, he received a salary from the court. He dared not speak carelessly here, for fear of being gossiped about. He specifically distinguished them.

He had drunk too much, but his butt was still clear-headed.

Next, <Lu Ming> briefly described the first-rate powers in the world, such as the three royal families: <Xiao Clan> of <Shendu> in <Western Chu>, <Liu Clan> of <Tai'an> in <Northern Qi>, and <Li Clan> of <Shangyuan> in <Southern Jin>. Due to his position, he avoided speaking too much about the <Western Chu> royal family.

<Northern Qi> and <Southern Jin> were not so lucky. <Lu Ming> teased that the two families had the correct stance and were not afraid of being overheard.

"On the border of <Northern Qi> is the <Western Regions>. Although there are no great powers in the <Western Regions>, there are many second-rate forces. They invade every year and cause disturbances daily. <Northern Qi> is completely helpless, putting aside their dignity as a great nation and actively paying tribute. The silver is enough every year, and they even built a wall..."

"Cowards like this cannot be called great nations!"

"<Southern Jin> is even worse. People often say, 'The wealth of the world is one stone, and <Southern Jin> has eight dou,' and <Jiangdong> is a land of fish and rice that nourishes people, with unparalleled financial strength. Yet, I know that of the 'Ten Great <Noble Families> in the world, <Southern Jin> has six.' They are already exhausted by internal strife and conflicts. Our <Western Chu> only needs to march its troops to flatten them."

At this point, <Lu Ming> was very proud and drank heartily, saying, "<Northern Qi> cherishes its own life and has short-sighted ambitions, making them unworthy of being called heroes. <Southern Jin> has only prosperity but is like dead bones in a tomb. In today's world, only <Western Chu> has outstanding people and a blessed land, truly a hero!"

<Xiang Yuan>: "..."

What kind of wine did you drink? Was it mixed with green plums?

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End of Chapter
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