This Isn't How You Cultivate Immortality
Chapter 33

The Clown Is Online

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5mo ago

The three people standing outside the formation were Wang Wenxu, Xiao He, and Xu Jixian. Xiao He stood in the middle, and it seemed the other two were following his lead.

At this moment, Xiao He and Xu Jixian were no longer their usual goofy selves. Xu Jixian, in particular, had a dark, stern face as resolute as a mountain, his demeanor having undergone a complete transformation. It was hard to imagine this was the same person who had been scared by a monster last night and wet himself.

Due to his outstanding looks, Xiao He's appearance hadn't changed much. A hint of arrogance lingered in his brows, and he carried an air of nonchalance, his every jest and scolding imbued with a free-spiritedness that suited his reputation as the "dog father" of the Lord of Eight Prefectures.

Wang Wenxu was still the same Wang Wenxu, with the integrity of a scholar and a vigorous spirit. Hearing Xiao He's words, he frowned, "First it was Heavenly Blade Sect's Lone Star Chasing Moon, then Blood Sea Dao's Killing Heart Eternal, and now Shaolin's ultimate technique. He's using all sorts of methods, his origins are extremely mysterious, and his aura changes in incredibly bizarre ways. I fear he might be a Demon Dao fiend. Are you sure it's him?"

"When we were at the academy, Master Xian already gave him a test and said Brother Xiang Yuan is kind and righteous. Why do you still suspect him of being a Demon Dao fiend?"

Xiao He stated with certainty, brooking no argument, "Master Xian may not believe Brother Xiang Yuan, but he must believe my divination skills. He is no ordinary person, and we have a fated connection. Even if it's not him, it must be him. We have to force it if we can't have it naturally!"

It was quite a serendipitous encounter. That day, under the persistent drizzle, he saw a young constable walking by with an umbrella. On a whim, Xiao He went over to share the umbrella, intending to maintain his persona of being unlearned and useless.

Upon getting closer, Xiao He's brow twitched. He felt a premonition, observing the constable's aura and physiognomy, and sought a 'connection'.

This encounter was a mutual pursuit. Xiang Yuan was looking for his destined person, and Xiao He was no different.

However, Xiang Yuan was just entering the martial world, and his old ways were far inferior to Xiao He's. The latter, wearing a goofy mask and acting brilliantly, had fooled everyone.

Thus, the more Xiang Yuan ignored him, the more Xiao He pestered him, resorting to shameless persistence to secure their fated connection.

A fated connection alone wasn't enough. Xiao He was filled with curiosity. He couldn't divine Xiang Yuan's sect or his special traits. He devised a plan, setting up the incident where Xu Jixian encountered the ghost.

Judging by Lone Star Chasing Moon, Xiang Yuan had undoubtedly apprenticed at the Heavenly Blade Sect. But Xiao He still felt something was amiss. He discussed it with Wang Wenxu, and after some planning, tonight's ambush at the mass grave by Sima Qingyan was arranged.

Xiang Yuan's methods were varied and numerous, leaving Xiao He increasingly confused. He still had no idea where Xiang Yuan's apprenticeship lay, only guessing that it was extraordinary, belonging to a powerful figure he couldn't afford to offend.

A great opportunity, a grand destiny!

"You want to bring Xiang Yuan in, I have no objections. After all, you're in charge now, and I know your divination methods. Whatever you say goes. But..."

Wang Wenxu hesitated for a moment, "He's excellent material for scholarship. I intended to teach him, and I fear you might delay him."

"Master Xian, you jest. His heart is set on martial arts, not scholarship. He enjoys the martial world, not the lecture hall."

"I disagree!"

Wang Wenxu snorted, unwilling to concur. Having witnessed 'Min Nong' (a poem about farmers), he was convinced Xiang Yuan could follow the path of a great literary master.

Regardless, this raw jade couldn't be corrupted by Xiao He.

"Master Xian, rest assured. He's studying at the academy, so you'll have plenty of time to refine him. I'll be delighted to see it happen." Xiao He smiled as he watched the fight in the field.

Sima Qingyan was stronger, but having lost an arm, his palm techniques were hampered. He relied on his sustained aura, intending to wear Xiang Yuan down in a prolonged battle.

Where there's one, there's two, and then three. Xiang Yuan's previous performances proved he could withstand attrition. It was hard to say who would outlast whom.

"This fierce tiger is destined to be my sworn brother!"

Thinking of the adopted sons his "dog father" had taken in, Xiao He felt a sense of disdain. They were a mixed bag, mostly good-for-nothing freeloaders.

Beside him, Xu Jixian, who had been silent, spoke up, his eyes fixed on Xiang Yuan and Sima Qingyan's fight. "Brother Xiao, aren't you going to let me in to separate them?"

"Let's wait a bit longer. I see Qingyan has lost his composure and will surely be captured by Brother Xiang Yuan. This place is sparsely populated, and Brother Xiang Yuan will likely resort to harsh measures to force you and me to reveal our whereabouts, tearing at least three pieces of clothing."

Xiao He winked mischievously. Seeing Xu Jixian didn't follow, he slapped his forehead and muttered, almost letting it slip. Then he continued, "We've been hiding from Brother Xiang Yuan for days. It's not right to offend him further by begging for forgiveness. Qingyan is different; to win Brother Xiang Yuan's favor, she'll have to suffer a bit."

Xu Jixian nodded. It made sense. Since someone had to suffer, why not Sima Qingyan, the outsider!

Wang Wenxu hadn't given up. He emphasized, "Xiao He, you're certain Xiang Yuan will be sent to the Southern Border. I know you have a secret decree and cannot easily reveal your identity. Your actions must have a reason, but what kind of place is the Southern Border? He might not return if he goes there."

"Master Xian, you still don't understand what I mean. Brother Xiang Yuan and I are extremely important. If he goes to the Southern Border, I will certainly accompany him." Xiao He said calmly.

"Are you serious?"

Of course, I am. I can't even figure out a single hair of his master's. If he dies, what's the difference between me being alive or dead?

Xiao He grumbled inwardly and didn't explain further to Wang Wenxu. He then said, "As for the Southern Border, Master Xian has spent years planting seeds and laying the groundwork, deploying spies, bribing lackeys, and clearing obstacles. If I only rely on the foundation you've left behind and strive for safety, I might as well not have come. How can I complete my mission and stir up trouble?"

"You, you'd better not mess around." Wang Wenxu said with a wry smile.

Involving the imperial court and the martial world was bound to attract powerful figures with heaven-defying abilities. Every step was incredibly perilous, and he truly feared Xiao He would get himself killed.

He considered himself a good judge of character, and his assessment of Xiao He was "steady progress, but overly aggressive."

"Master Xian, rest assured, I still have wealth and honor to enjoy. I fear death the most."

"..."

Wang Wenxu fell silent. If Xiao He craved wealth and honor, he could have obtained them in Shendu or Zhendian Prefecture with his background and abilities. Running to Fengxian County, bordering the Southern Border, clearly indicated he wanted to achieve something significant.

Ambitious, he wasn't satisfied with mere wealth and honor.

"The fight is almost over. Master Xian, open the gate. Brother Xu and I should go and beg Brother Xiang Yuan for forgiveness... Hmm, what terrifying martial talent. If he refuses to forgive us, Brother Xu and I will kneel until we can't get up!"

Xiao He retracted his steps and turned to Wang Wenxu, smiling, "I'll borrow Master Xian's face for a moment. You go first. After Qingyan suffers, it'll be your turn."

Wang Wenxu's expression changed drastically. Acting one way in front of people and another behind their backs would leave him no face to see Xiang Yuan, nor could he call himself a teacher.

"Master Xian?"

"Can you..."

"No. Those two strokes of the ruler you gave me today were clearly you taking advantage of your authority for personal revenge!"

At the death gate of the formation, Sima Qingyan wielded his palm with one hand. His movements were light and ethereal, appearing casual yet containing profound mysteries. Like a lake in autumn, each palm strike resembled falling leaves touching the water's surface, creating ripples. It was both gentle and unfathomably deep.

Beneath the lake, her aura was long and continuous, her internal energy flowing endlessly. Even when facing a powerful enemy, she could overcome force with softness, striking after her opponent, displaying astonishing endurance.

Lacking an arm, her palm strikes could not be perfected.

Her movements were steady, daring not to rush for quick gains. Using her reach to counter his shorter range, she prepared to wear Xiang Yuan down with her advantage.

Xiang Yuan hadn't even opened his Ren Meridian, so how could he possibly contend with Sima Qingyan's sustained Spiritual Power? He could only rely on the cleverness of his Formless Seal Method's divine abilities, feigning omnipotence, not only capable of fighting but also unafraid of a prolonged battle.

Facing an enemy a realm higher than himself, every move demanded his full attention, taxing his mind and body, consuming vast amounts of energy.

His cold-bloodedness offline, his composure unable to achieve victory, his energy waning in a prolonged fight, he would truly be worn to death by Sima Qingyan.

Without hesitation, he simulated the battle in his mind, preparing his retreat. His fingers formed a blade, his mind as still as water. Channeling the momentum of a meteor, he unleashed Lone Star Chasing Moon for the third time, slashing towards Sima Qingyan's right side, between chest and abdomen.

Sima Qingyan's right arm was injured, leaving her unable to wield her long sword. Her arm hung limply; she had hastily pressed pressure points to stop the bleeding and had no time to bandage it.

Seeing the palm strike approach with the force of a meteor cleaving through the sky—swift, precise, and deadly—she marveled at Xiang Yuan's martial talent. To possess such unity of person and blade at such a young age, he was truly a monster. Simultaneously, she emulated him, her fingers forming a sword as she cast a sword technique.

If you can do it, so can I. This was the last stubbornness of an honor student!

Their hands met, each pouring in their full strength. Xiang Yuan felt an immense force surge towards him. His palm-blade was pressed down by two slender fingers, giving him the absurd visual of Lin Daiyu uprooting Lu Zhishen.

He knew Spiritual Power could allow a frail woman to overpower a strong man, but this was too much strength.

His arm went numb; he was at a disadvantage in terms of strength. After a brief struggle, his Primordial Spirit's energy was drained by the momentum of the blade strike, leaving him with no strength to fight.

Sima Qingyan rejoiced, finally having endured until Xiang Yuan was exhausted. The residual force of her sword-finger continued towards Xiang Yuan's chest.

She refused to believe it. There was one, there were two, could there be a third?

There really was!

The clown is online!

End of Chapter
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