All DMs Are Chaotic Evil

Once upon a time, the gods of light, order, and destiny and the gods of darkness, chaos, and chance had to decide which side would rule the world. Rather than beat each other up, they decided to settle it with dice.

Again and again, the gods rolled dice until heaven and earth grew dark. Yet there were always wins and losses, and no matter how long they played, no victor emerged. Before long, the gods grew tired of merely rolling dice.

So they created all kinds of living creatures, along with worlds for them to inhabit, using them as pieces and boards. Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Halflings, Lizardmen, goblins, Trolls, Demons. They went on adventures, sometimes winning, sometimes losing, sometimes finding treasure, sometimes finding happiness, and dying one by one.

The gods watched these events and shared in their joy, sorrow, laughter, and tears. At some point, the gods began looking forward to the pieces' exploits and sincerely came to love this world and its people.

Though they sometimes failed because the dice rolled poorly, that was another matter. Among them was one person whose talent, aptitude, background, equipment—everything about him—was utterly unremarkable.

Every god liked him, but none placed any special hopes on him. He would not save the world, nor could he change anything. In the end, he was merely another piece found everywhere.

And this was an unnamed Border Town. Right now, you existed in an Adventurer's Guild as a helpful priest.

Looking at the introduction to this world above, Lin Yun felt that something about it was rather subtle. It also seemed strangely familiar. In this situation... wouldn't it be better if I hid somewhere? His lips twitched as he sat at the edge of a table, looking at the crowd around him in despair.

He remembered clearly that Mosaic had said the more people there were, the more obvious the nature of that world would become. Starting with more than a dozen people like this was basically equivalent to nightmare difficulty.

Although he was currently sitting in an Adventurer's Guild, and the people around him might simply be ordinary native adventurers rather than players, Lin Yun spotted several particularly eye-searing individuals. Well, they were not that eye-searing. There were simply nine people scattered throughout the hall wearing modern clothes. Clearly, they either had not discovered the Shop, had discovered it but bought other things instead, or perhaps did not know what era this was and thought they were heading to the modern age... But this was not COC next door. Normal Dungeons & Dragons campaigns were basically set in ancient times, alright?

Just like in a normal Dungeons & Dragons campaign, even players who had agreed to act together did not necessarily start out together before the plot began. Usually, they met for various reasons based on their prepared backgrounds, under the Dungeon Master's arrangements, and then formed a party. Of course, that was the most proper approach.

As for people who did not care about those details, they would deliberately walk over and strike up a conversation directly, with no sense of roleplaying whatsoever. It was incredibly awkward, though it certainly saved time.

And now, it was obvious that the Dungeon Master of this unknown space was quite proper. Lin Yun and the others were ordinary adventurers resting or eating in what should have been the adventurers' hall. For example, there were two long loaves of wheat bread in front of Lin Yun.

First, there was Lin Yun's upper body. He wore a dark hooded cloak, and through gaps in the cloak, one could see the somewhat worn scale mail underneath. In this respect, the Dungeon Master of this world had been remarkably thorough. Even though he knew it was newly purchased scale mail, it still looked...

Scale mail was armor made from countless small overlapping metal plates. Though structurally similar to chainmail and splint mail, scale mail's finer, more flexible arrangement of plates allowed its wearer to move more freely with less restriction—at the cost of sacrificing larger, more protective armor plates. A suit of scale mail came with steel gauntlets.

As for his lower body, he wore nothing more than ordinary leather trousers and a pair of ordinary boots. Beside him stood a metal staff resembling a lantern, while a slightly oversized wooden shield was strapped to his back, nearly covering it completely.

This was the equipment Lin Yun had bought after spending almost all his money. Ordinary equipment. The scale mail had cost 50 Gold Coins. That lantern-like metal staff was called a Lantern Staff. This long metal rod had a container for lamp oil and a lantern-like structure at its end. Once filled with fuel, it could provide light like a hooded lantern. When used to attack, it dealt 1 point of fire damage in addition to its normal damage. Any effect that applied to a short staff also applied to a Lantern Staff. It cost 15 Gold Coins.

The shield on his back was a heavy wooden shield purchased for 7 Gold Coins. For convenience, Lin Yun had also spent 10 Gold Coins to have an emblem carved onto it: an exquisitely detailed mask-like symbol, half black and half white, representing Nethys, the Eye of Omniscience.

Ancient Osirion records described a mighty god-king named Nethys, whose Magical Power was so immense that he could see through all things, even across the planes of the Great Beyond.

He gained divinity through this vision, but it also shattered his mind.

From then on, Nethys possessed two minds—one wishing to destroy the world, the other promising to protect it. The Church of Nethys attempted to balance these two sides of the god, though individual churches might favor one over the other.

His followers were those who sought magical knowledge or power, whether Divine Magic or Arcane Magic, and regardless of how they intended to use it—for destruction, creation, or protection.

Nethys typically displayed both sides of himself at once. One half of him had been burned away and unleashed terrifying magic upon the world, while the other half was calm and serene, using magic to heal illness and protect the innocent.

Formal church rituals required carefully crafted robes, brimless hats, shoulder garments, and hoods, all in similar shades, such as red, reddish-brown, and purplish-red. The choice of color depended on the Temple one belonged to.

Because of differing focuses, a particular temple might resemble a fortress, sanctuary, Mage Tower, or small palace, but it would always be filled with learned people who tried to avoid noise and strange individuals.

His holy scripture was The Complete Book of Magic. It described in great detail how to channel magical energy and deeply discussed the moral issues raised by the use and abuse of magic, though it usually proposed a completely opposite position within two lines. The book's passages were always engraved upon temple walls, though many priests also carried it in book or scroll form.

It was said that if magical abnormalities appeared in an area, it was likely because Nethys had drawn close to the Material Plane. If an area displayed the characteristics of a "magical vacuum," where magic could not function, it meant he had unleashed his wrath upon that region. Nethys showed neither favor toward his followers nor anger toward his enemies, a fact that made many of his worshippers proud. They eagerly pointed out to followers of other faiths that their god never spoiled them with troubling dreams or strange omens—a trait that generally did not win the favor of other churches.

Because Lin Yun's perception was relatively high, and priests were about the only class that could make good use of high perception, he had no choice but to pick priest. Of course, unlike those priests in cloth robes who could only moan uselessly from the back line, priests in Dungeons & Dragons were more like... well, that so-called son from "your son is really filthy." Wearing armor and carrying hard-hitting weapons onto the front lines—now that was a proper priest.

The reason Lin Yun had chosen this god called the Eye of Omniscience as the faith of his priest character sheet was simply because, through the Eye of Omniscience, he could learn Wizard magic. As everyone knew, Wizards were also known as magic masters. In the eyes of a magic master, there were generally only fellow professionals and cannon fodder.

Lin Yun had considered many factors in choosing this class and faith. In theory, every campaign allowed him to prepare a new character sheet, but according to Mosaic, there was no need to think too much about that for now. More importantly, among the classes capable of learning 9-Circle Magic—or rather, Divine Magic—priest was the only one that could wear medium armor. Priests of gods associated with war or forging could even wear heavy armor.

It was extremely convenient. Magic masters were powerful, but as a fairly experienced Dungeon Master, Lin Yun understood very well that when faced with particularly "smart" DMs, it was basically like playing PVP: once combat started, they targeted the squishy Wizards and healers first.

That sounded more dangerous, but it was not. Priests were different from Wizards: they could wear armor, and more importantly, they were healers. In other words, they could heal themselves. Overall, it was still very safe.

Of course, if possible, Lin Yun would still rather have been a magic master, but...

Lin Yun's intelligence was truly a little hopeless, so naturally becoming a magic master was impossible. He could only take a roundabout route. Still, the Divine Magic available to priests was not weak at all, and in some aspects it was even more convenient than a magic master's spells. That was why priests were also called priest dads. Of course, for all sorts of reasons, priest dads varied in strength across different editions of Dungeons & Dragons, but just being able to restore health and revive people meant your priest dad was always your priest dad.

Because casting Divine Magic required a Holy Symbol, Lin Yun happened to know a fairly good trick: carving the Holy Symbol directly onto a shield allowed the shield to serve as one. Then he would not need to put away his weapon or shield and take out a Holy Symbol whenever he cast Divine Magic. He could just raise his shield and be done with it.

Since carving a Holy Symbol onto a heavy wooden shield required enough money to produce a proper effect, Lin Yun had spent another 10 Gold Coins. That brought his total to 82 Gold Coins, and those were only the basic supplies. He had also bought traveler's clothes: the cloak he was wearing and a matching set of garments including boots, wool trousers, a sturdy belt, and a shirt, for a total of 1 Gold Coin.

Then, considering that this was a Western fantasy world, it would be rather strange for an Eastern face like Lin Yun's to appear here. Besides, he had somewhat forgotten what ancient Western hairstyles looked like. In any case, a crew cut like his definitely would not do. Originally, Lin Yun had wanted to buy some kind of mask, but after thinking it over, a mask seemed even stranger. So he simply bought a helmet whose mouth section could be opened, conveniently concealing his hair as well. It was very safe. Lin Yun did not consider himself Poker Face at all; in fact, his laugh threshold was quite low. Preventing others from seeing his expressions was therefore a good idea too.

That thing cost another 5 Gold Coins. Then the Lantern Staff needed lamp oil, so he bought 1 Gold Coin worth of oil. Just like that, Lin Yun was left with only 1 Gold Coin. It was just right, one could say.

After only glancing at those people in what, to him, counted as bizarre outfits, Lin Yun silently opened the mouth section of his helmet and decided to eat something first. Not to mention that this food should be free, so there was no harm in finishing it first. More importantly, he wanted to disguise himself as an ordinary adventurer rather than a player.

Lin Yun did not want to get dragged into trouble because of those people. And if any of them had malicious intentions—say, if someone figured that "teammates" would probably buy equipment, then secretly killed those "teammates" and stripped their gear—that was not impossible either.

As the owner of a tabletop game store, Lin Yun was already used to all kinds of bizarre tricks from players.

However, just as Lin Yun was about to place his hand on the bread on the table, he suddenly froze. Wait, he could not be this careless. Based on Lin Yun's experience, some chaotic evil DMs loved starting with a door trap—killing you outright somewhere you thought was safe, leaving you with nowhere to argue.

For example, if food was poisoned, that Dungeon Master would say, "You ate it without Detect Poison first. You deserved to die." It was infuriating enough to make someone want to blacklist the guy.

Lin Yun did not want to be poisoned to death right at the beginning. Even though the people around him seemed to be eating with great appetite, he could not let down his guard. Fortunately, this was where a priest's abilities came into play.

0-Circle spells were also called Cantrips. For priests, they were also called Orisons. One of them was a spell called Detect Poison. By casting it on an object currently in his hand, Lin Yun could immediately learn whether it contained poison. If his alchemy or knowledge of nature were good enough, he could even determine what kind of poison it was.

This was a spell that basically every spellcaster knew. If one was not a spellcaster, then detecting poison generally required a certain degree of perception or professional skill. Most importantly, though, the player had to actually say they wanted to check for poison.

At first level, he could only cast Cantrips three times. However, there was a special exception: if he spent more time casting, using what was known as Ritual Casting, he could cast a spell without consuming a use. Detect Poison happened to be a spell that could be cast through Ritual Casting. Normal casting took roughly three seconds, or even less, while Ritual Casting required at least one minute and potentially longer depending on the circumstances.

Although it was called Ritual Casting, it did not actually require exaggerated movements or an overly solemn manner. He merely had to maintain his concentration.

After secretly casting Detect Poison, which produced neither much movement nor much light, he found no poison. Even a chaotic evil Dungeon Master should not be depraved enough to start with poison that Detect Poison could not detect, right...?

Well, who knew? Better not take chances.

Out of caution, Lin Yun ultimately decided not to eat the suddenly appearing bread. Through the slits in his helmet that allowed the wearer to see outside, Lin Yun began observing his surroundings.