Saitama Gets Lost

With a map in hand, Saitama walked out of his house.

"Hmm, it's a bit far, so I'll have to pick up the pace this time." Muttering to himself, Saitama started accelerating.

Boom!

The air exploded with a dull thud. By the time the sound rang out, Saitama had already vanished.

If there had been a map showing Saitama's location, his progress would have been easy to track.

In the blink of an eye, Saitama reached the seaside. Looking out at the endless ocean, he scratched his head. "So, should I take a boat? But that seems like it would take a long time. Oh well, I'll just swim." With that, Saitama plunged straight into the sea, sending up a splash before disappearing in the blink of an eye.

Judging by the map, though, Saitama's route through the ocean gradually began to veer off course.

The ocean stretched endlessly in every direction. There were no coordinates, no signs, and no sense of direction. Before he knew it, Saitama had swum off course.

Saitama swam in a figure eight across the Atlantic. At last, he spotted land and hurried ashore.

"Um, could you tell me if this is Morocco?" Saitama stopped someone and asked.

"What? Morocco? Are you joking?" The person he'd stopped was baffled by Saitama's question.

"Huh? This isn't Morocco? But I followed the map." Saitama pulled out the map.

"Kid, don't joke around. This is Argentina, not Morocco."

"Argentina? Where's that?"

"Morocco is here, and Argentina is here. You don't know how to read a map?" The person pointed at it.

"Uh..."

As he walked the streets of Argentina, Saitama looked utterly bewildered. He'd been heading in a straight line toward the Middle East, so how had he ended up in Argentina? Morocco and Argentina were in completely opposite directions, too. He seemed to be even farther from the Middle East now.

He'd planned to travel straight to Morocco, land there, and then make his way to the Middle East. Clearly, his plan had failed.

"Brrring..."

His phone rang. Saitama hurriedly pulled it out. Fortunately, he'd made sure to waterproof it before jumping into the sea, or it might have been ruined.

"Saitama, it's already noon, and lunch is almost ready. Where are you? Why aren't you back yet?" Skye asked, sounding a little worried.

Skye had every reason to worry. As far as she was concerned, Saitama wasn't quite right in the head. Now he was off to the Middle East to rescue Tony Stark—maybe for the money, or maybe for the "good, satisfying fight" he'd talked about. Either way, it was hardly normal.

On top of that, Saitama had clashed with Kingpin. So when he didn't come back, Skye couldn't help worrying. Saitama never missed a meal.

"Um, I'm in Argentina," Saitama said, scratching his bald head.

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I'm in Argentina right now."

"Don't joke around, Saitama."

"I'm not joking. I was going to the Middle East, but somewhere along the way, I think I got lost. Somehow, I ended up in Argentina."

"...Saitama, do you really think I'm going to believe that? You're fast, sure, but you're telling me you ran from New York to Argentina in just two hours? Hurry back for lunch. I made steak, and if you don't come, I'll eat it all." Skye rolled her eyes and threatened him with his lunch.

"Wait, wait! I'll be back soon. Really soon. You have to wait for me." The threat made Saitama panic.

"Then hurry up."

"Okay, I'm coming right—" Beep, beep, beep! The call suddenly ended. Saitama blinked, sensing something was wrong. He tried calling again, only to find that his phone service had been suspended for lack of payment.

On the other end, Skye frowned. Saitama had hung up out of nowhere, which was strange. She immediately called him back, but the phone informed her that his service had been suspended for lack of payment. Skye was stunned. Saitama hadn't had his phone plan for long, and he'd topped it up with plenty of money. How had he run out?

"What on earth has Saitama been doing on his phone? He used up all that credit? Did he download some kind of app?" Skye's expression turned strange, though she supposed it was understandable. Saitama was an adult, after all.

Meanwhile, Saitama started running as fast as he could. He needed to get home quickly.

Fortunately, the continent Argentina was on was connected to the one the United States was on. The land was joined somewhere, so he wouldn't have to swim. At least he wouldn't have to worry about getting lost in the Atlantic again.

As Saitama set off from Argentina toward New York in the United States, Skye grew curious and used her hacking skills to break into his phone. She wanted to see whether he'd downloaded some weird app.

Well, she was only curious about what kind of things a bald guy like Saitama was into—what his tastes were like.

But when Skye hacked into Saitama's phone, she found that it had only basic calling and data service. Nothing else had been activated, and his phone expenses were all ordinary call charges.

"Something's not right. Let me check." Skye frowned and quickly tapped away at her keyboard. Then she pulled up all the spending records on Saitama's phone.

Everything else looked normal, but one international call charge from just a little while ago caught her attention.

"Saitama's in New York, so why is there an international call charge? Wait, this location is Argentina? Could Saitama really be in Argentina? But that doesn't make sense. Even by plane, it would take longer than two hours." The more Skye thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Using her hacking skills, she forcibly accessed Saitama's phone's location system.

Skye was stunned to find that Saitama was in Brazil! She refreshed the location and saw that he'd moved again—to Suriname.

As she checked his location again and again, Skye watched Saitama's position keep changing, as if the distances on the map were really only as far as they looked—like he could reach another place with a single step.

Colombia—Mexico—the United States...

Skye saw that Saitama's position was getting closer and closer to home.

"Is there something wrong with my hacking, or has someone hacked my computer? Or is Saitama really, really capable of teleporting?" Skye was completely bewildered.

Just then, the front door opened, and Saitama's voice came from the other side. "I'm home."

"..." Skye looked at Saitama's location. Sure enough, it was right where she was.

P.S. Please vote and leave a review. Damn delivery service—it looks like my package still won't arrive in Shanghai until Sunday. This is the second time. It absolutely cannot go wrong again, or I'll really lose it.