The One Getting a Green Card

"Saitama."

"What is it?"

"Here, you carry this box."

"Oh!"

Saitama casually picked up the box, which looked to be full of money.

"Wait, maybe I should carry it."

"Oh!" Saitama handed the box back to Skye.

"Wait, I think it'd be better if you carried it."

"Okay."

"No, I think I'd rather carry it myself. You're being too casual about this."

"Uh."

"No, what if someone tries to rob us? You'd better carry it."

Saitama scratched his head. Skye had already changed her mind several times in the short time since they'd left, first telling him to carry the box, then deciding she should carry it herself. Saitama found it pretty ridiculous. He knew money was very important—yes, absolutely, money was very important—but Skye's reaction seemed a little over the top.

Saitama seemed to have forgotten that just yesterday, when he thought Skye had given him money to buy McDonald's, his own expression hadn't been any better than hers was now.

"Forget it. We should just put it in the bank. Keeping this much money at home doesn't feel safe, especially since the neighborhood where we live isn't exactly secure. Maybe we could move somewhere else, since we have so much money now." Skye was still a little giddy. "What do you think, Saitama?"

"Uh, move somewhere else?" Saitama blinked.

"Saitama, you don't have some kind of idea about me, do you?"

"Huh?"

"Otherwise, why would you react like that when I mentioned moving? You know the last place was only a one-bedroom. I'd originally planned to live by myself, but now there's you, so we need at least two bedrooms. Or are you actually planning to share a room with me?" Skye was in a good mood, and her tone had turned a little flirtatious. But once she'd said it, she realized what she'd said and blushed slightly.

But this was America, after all. Skye had grown up here and wasn't particularly averse to sex, so although she blushed a little, she wasn't overly embarrassed.

"Huh?" Saitama's eyes widened as he exclaimed.

"What's with that reaction? Or do you think I'm awful?" Skye glared at Saitama.

"Uh, no. It's just that I've never thought about any of that."

They'd originally planned to go straight home, but in the end they took a detour to the bank. The box held hundreds of thousands of dollars, and Skye felt that if she really kept all that money at home, she wouldn't be able to sleep at night. The bank seemed a little safer.

"Where are we going?"

"Obviously, to get you a Green Card. I don't want you to get caught by immigration and deported one day, or sent to Green Mountain Mental Hospital. With a Green Card, at least we won't have to worry about that."

Skye had never dealt with getting a Green Card before, but she was a hacker, and in a world with such an advanced internet, it wasn't difficult for a hacker to find things out. She'd already found several ways to get one. They were all the sort of places that would get you a Green Card if you paid them. Of course, they weren't exactly aboveboard.

Saitama followed behind Skye as she kept leading them deeper into the alleys, farther and farther from the main streets. Every so often, they saw people who looked like thugs in the alleys. They only watched the pair, though, and didn't do anything else.

Even so, Skye was already feeling uneasy and scared. If Saitama hadn't been with her, she would have run away long ago.

"I'm starting to regret coming here," Skye whispered.

"Why?"

"Idiot. Because this place is dangerous! At the very least, we should've bought a couple of guns for protection." Skye rolled her eyes and grumbled. But as soon as Saitama spoke, she stopped feeling so scared. It was as if Saitama himself somehow made people feel safe.

"Dangerous? Are there monsters around?"

"Monsters? Saitama, you... Never mind."

As she quietly chatted with Saitama, Skye relaxed more and more. Even when she occasionally spotted one or two people who seemed to have a glint of ill intent in their eyes, she wasn't afraid anymore. Of course, she was still a little worried.

The place was secluded, and the door looked old and worn. There was even some kind of filthy liquid on it. Skye frowned slightly at the sight, but still knocked.

"Who are you looking for?"

"We need a Green Card!"

Not long after Skye answered, the door opened, and a somewhat overweight white man in his thirties or forties poked his head out.

He looked the two of them up and down. With a creak, the door swung open. "Come in!"

Skye glanced at Saitama, then followed him inside.

Beyond the door was a rather oppressive room, crammed full of all sorts of things. It was like walking into a junkyard—though perhaps slightly better than one, since there wasn't such a strong stench. The dim lighting made it feel as if they'd stepped onto the set of a horror movie.

Click!

Skye froze in place. A gun barrel was pointed at her head. Saitama was in the same situation.

The middle-aged white man held a gun in each hand, pointing one at Saitama's head and the other at Skye's. A sinister grin spread across his face. "Hahaha! Today's really my lucky day. I can't believe two fat sheep just walked right into my hands!"

"W-what are you going to do? We just came to get Green Cards." Skye swallowed hard, her eyes filled with panic.

"Of course I know that. I don't know where you got the idea, but the two of you were bold enough to come here without knowing anything about me—especially a woman and a yellow-skinned monkey. Hahaha! Now hand over the money you're carrying." Greed filled the middle-aged white man's eyes. When he looked at Skye, a flash of lust passed through them too.

"You—"

Bang!

Before Skye could finish speaking, the middle-aged white man went flying backward. He slammed into the wall, punching a hole through it, and disappeared beneath a pile of garbage. Only his feet stuck out, and only one of them was wearing a slipper.