Let Me Cast a Divination First

They said a youth without a phase of adolescent delusions was a youth wasted.

Everyone went through that phase to some degree. Some wore it openly; others hid it deep inside. It was simply the difference between flaunting your wild side and keeping it under wraps.

Song Shuhang had always been mature for his age. That phase had come quickly and gone even faster.

So by his second year of middle school, while the boys around him were still lost in dreams of martial heroes, Superman, and immortals, throwing Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms and transforming into Superman all day long, Shuhang had long since stopped holding out any hope for such things.

The physical laws of this world were so precise. A human being could never leap three stories high, send a golden dragon flying with a thrust of both palms, or fly simply by wearing his underwear on the outside!

Still, he enjoyed immortal-hero novels, Superman movies, and the like. Perhaps somewhere deep inside, he still hoped that one day, Superman, aliens, or immortals might appear before him?

Knowing perfectly well that something was impossible yet inexplicably hoping for it anyway—perhaps that was a talent unique to humanity?

Song Shuhang smiled and closed the group chat window, but he did not leave the group.

He found the people in the Nine Provinces Number One Group rather interesting. Those chat logs that made him cringe just looking at them were surprisingly entertaining from a spectator's perspective. So until the group owner kicked him out, he planned to lurk and read their amusing conversations to pass the time when he was bored.

The movie was still playing on his computer screen. It seemed to be a horror film, with one terrifying scene after another. This was the crowning achievement of a genius horror director. Supposedly, it had frightened plenty of grown men to tears, and many viewers said it had left them too scared to go to the bathroom alone.

Unfortunately, Song Shuhang still failed to find anything frightening about it. After dragging the progress bar back and watching for a while, he started yawning again. Gradually, he went from sitting to lying down, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier...

If that genius director knew this was all his movie had accomplished, would he cry?

As he drifted off, Song Shuhang had a wonderful dream.

An utterly exhilarating dream. A real beauty. There were immortals, Superman, and all sorts of immortal realms.

To live forever, free and unfettered; to move mountains and overturn seas; to roam the mortal world with sword in hand—how many people throughout history had dreamed of such things? But as they grew older and reality shattered their dreams, they could only bury those dreams in their hearts and stop dwelling on them.

A dream was only a dream, after all...

The next day, Tuesday, May 21, at one in the morning.

The group owner, True Lord Yellow Mountain, finally came online.

The moment he appeared, Northern River's Loose Cultivator popped up. "True Lord, who was that 'Stressed by a Mountain of Books' you added yesterday? Where do they cultivate?"

"The person I added yesterday? Haven't you spoken to her? She's the daughter an old friend of mine had in this era. Her aptitude seems quite good. At such a young age, she's already at the peak of third-grade Houtian and about to enter fourth-grade Xiantian. Very impressive." True Lord Yellow Mountain replied with a hearty laugh.

Born in this era—so she was probably under forty? Reaching the peak of third-grade Houtian at that age certainly made her a genius. Northern River's Loose Cultivator nodded inwardly. Still, her chosen Daoist name was rather strange. No matter how he looked at it, "Stressed by a Mountain of Books" hardly sounded like a Daoist name.

While Northern River's Loose Cultivator was still pondering this, True Lord Yellow Mountain suddenly said, "Hmm? My old friend's daughter's Daoist name isn't 'Stressed by a Mountain of Books.' Come to think of it, what the heck is this Stressed by a Mountain of Books?"

"..." True Lord Yellow Mountain was mortified.

Not what the heck, but the unidentified human you added yesterday, True Lord.

He ventured, "True Lord, did you perhaps add the wrong person?"

"Let me take a look."

A moment later.

True Lord Yellow Mountain posted a string of cold-sweat emojis. "I really did add the wrong person. There was only one digit different in the middle of the number. I entered a nine instead of an eight. To think I would make such a grave mistake."

Northern River's Loose Cultivator chuckled. "I thought so. No matter how well someone integrates into modern society, surely no one would choose 'Stressed by a Mountain of Books' as their Daoist name."

True Lord Yellow Mountain posted another string of cold-sweat emojis.

Then he hurriedly tried again, adding his friend's daughter to the group.

Group notification: "Soft Feather of Spirit Butterfly Island" has joined the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Now that was a name that suited the Nine Provinces Number One Group. A rich air of immortal chivalry came rushing out to meet them. That Stressed by a Mountain of Books was definitely some oddity that had slipped in.

The moment the newcomer joined, Mad Saber Three Waves popped up. "Oh, our new fellow Daoist is a fairy! How about a photo and your measurements? If you're pretty, want to hook up?"

Mad Saber Three Waves had already been lurking for quite a while. Although he belonged to the goldfish species, his memory did last longer than three seconds. Someone had reminded him yesterday, so to avoid offending a mighty senior, he had been cautiously lurking and observing today.

After hearing True Lord Yellow Mountain say that the new fairy was his friend's daughter and at third-grade Houtian, Mad Saber Three Waves relaxed. She was no "senior," so he could tease her to his heart's content and indulge his mouth a little.

Newcomers were rare in this group. He had been holding it in for far too long.

The instant Three Waves spoke, True Lord Yellow Mountain's face darkened.

"..." Soft Feather of Spirit Butterfly Island typed a string of dots, then added quietly, "As it is rather late, my daughter has already begun her scheduled meditation and cultivation. I am temporarily idling on her account while waiting for Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain to add her to the group. Ahem... I have long heard that Fellow Daoist Three Waves of the Nine Provinces Group is charming, debonair, and eloquent. Hearing a hundred times cannot compare to seeing once. Fellow Daoist Three Waves, I admire you. I shall treat you to a drink another day."

Mad Saber Three Waves was instantly overcome with embarrassment. He had tried flirting with a girl, only to run into her father. Nothing in the world could have been more humiliating. He wished he could find a hole to crawl into.

Fortunately, this senior seemed easygoing and brushed the matter aside with a few light words.

Next, the senior greeted everyone online and asked them to look after his daughter in the future. Then he went back to lurking, leaving the account idle.

Seeing the senior leave, Mad Saber Three Waves breathed a sigh of relief and said cheerfully, "Good thing this senior seems able to take a joke. Maybe I'll get a chance to chat with Miss Soft Feather herself sometime."

"..." True Lord Yellow Mountain.

"..." Northern River's Loose Cultivator.

Medicine Master made another rare appearance. He was a man who treasured words like gold and seldom spoke up, yet this time he actually typed four whole words: "Pray for your survival."

"?" Three Waves was puzzled.

But Medicine Master, who treasured words like gold, clearly had no intention of explaining further.

"Look at the prefix in the newcomer's Daoist name," Northern River's Loose Cultivator explained. If you did not court death, you would not die. Why could Brother Three Waves never understand that?

"The prefix? Spirit Butterfly Island?" Mad Saber Three Waves still seemed not to have caught on.

"Yes, Spirit Butterfly Island! And he's a senior. Doesn't that bring anyone to mind?" Northern River's Loose Cultivator prompted.

After a long pause, realization dawned on Mad Saber Three Waves. He flooded the group with kneeling emojis. "That Venerable Spirit Butterfly who quibbles over every needle?"

Venerable Spirit Butterfly was a powerful senior. He was an excellent man, upright and chivalrous... except that he loved quibbling over every last triviality. On the path of petty nitpicking, he had already reached the pinnacle. Other people quibbled over pennies; he quibbled over pinpoints!

The corner of Northern River's Loose Cultivator's mouth twitched in exasperation. "I never described him like that!"

True Lord Yellow Mountain sighed. He could not bear to watch any longer. "Three Waves, my old friend is only idle. He hasn't logged off."

Which meant... he might see the chat history.

No, he definitely would!

True Lord Yellow Mountain could not simply watch Three Waves keep courting death. Whatever else he was, he was still a junior in his group.

"Shit, I'm done for." Mad Saber Three Waves could almost see the near future: Spirit Butterfly Immortal Venerable coming to visit, then tormenting him in every conceivable way. His eyes grew moist again. Had he managed to provoke an even more troublesome senior this time?

Three Waves immediately wailed, "True Lord, please put in a good word for me!"

True Lord Yellow Mountain sent an emoji of someone coldly turning their back.

The others ignored Three Waves' defeated-dog howls and calmly changed the subject.

Northern River's Loose Cultivator asked the group owner, "True Lord, what should we do about that 'Stressed by a Mountain of Books'?"

Su Clan's Seven said, "Kick him out? He is only an ordinary person, after all. It wouldn't be appropriate for him to join our conversations."

"Ahem. Since I added him by mistake, that could be considered a kind of fate. Let me cast a divination and see how to handle it," True Lord Yellow Mountain replied. Mainly, he had suddenly dragged the fellow into the group himself. Wouldn't it make him lose face to kick him straight back out?

So he would at least put on a show of casting a divination, then use it as an excuse to remove him.

First, it would demonstrate his lofty, sophisticated stature.

Second, he had recently developed a sudden interest in divination and had been studying it for about a month. His hands were itching to practice. Whatever he was about to do, he liked to cast a divination first.

With that, he took a nearby copy of Tang Poetry and Song Lyrics as his divination medium. He reached out and flipped through it, activating his secret divination art. An unseen force drew out a line of verse to form the reading.

This divination went exceptionally smoothly. Since he had begun studying the art, True Lord Yellow Mountain had never felt so in tune with a reading!

Delighted, he looked at the result.

Then...

True Lord Yellow Mountain's expression turned dark and still as deep water.

True Lord Yellow Mountain's face soured.

Behold the reading: "In heaven, may we be birds flying wing to wing; on earth, may we be branches intertwined."

If he remembered correctly, this poem had been written by a Tang dynasty poet named Bai Juyi. It was a classic, often quoted afterward to describe romantic love?

True Lord Yellow Mountain immediately felt his entire world go wrong.

Wing to wing, my ass! Intertwined branches, my ass! Forget becoming intertwined branches—I'd rather hang myself from a southeast branch!

Was he, the illustrious True Lord Yellow Mountain, supposed to embark on a life-and-death, earth-shaking romance with that male "Stressed by a Mountain of Books"? This inevitably brought to mind Lord Longyang of China's Warring States period. He instantly felt as though he had swallowed a cockroach. Utterly revolting.

"This must be because my mastery of divination is insufficient. I've only studied it for a month, after all... so I should cast another reading! Yes, that must be it!" True Lord Yellow Mountain activated his secret divination art again, and an unseen force once more flipped through Tang Poetry and Song Lyrics.

Another line of verse was drawn out.

This time, the secret divination art flowed with extraordinary ease. True Lord Yellow Mountain felt wonderful about it. This one was definitely right!

He looked at the reading.

Then...

The True Lord's face went white.

The reading: "If love between two hearts endures, why must they be together every morning and evening?"

Evening, my ass!

"I refuse to believe this!" True Lord Yellow Mountain cast another divination.

This time felt even better. True Lord Yellow Mountain felt that his mastery of divination had reached its very pinnacle at this moment!

This one has to be right!

He lowered his head to read the result. "Suddenly I turned—and there that person stood, where the lantern lights grew dim."

"..."

"Deep breaths. Deep breaths." True Lord Yellow Mountain calmly closed Tang Poetry and Song Lyrics and gazed mournfully up at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle. What a melancholy feeling!

Then the True Lord calmly tore the hardcover copy of Tang Poetry and Song Lyrics to pieces, nodding emphatically as he tore. "Clearly, I have no talent for divination. I was never born to be a diviner. Therefore, every reading I cast must be wrong!"

He tossed the shredded Tang Poetry and Song Lyrics aside and inwardly swore never to let his meddlesome hands cast another divination!

With the fragments of the hardcover poetry collection cast aside, the True Lord typed in the group, "That Stressed by a Mountain of Books... let him stay for now. I just cast a divination and discovered that he and I are connected by fate. Adding him to the group was no accident, but an inevitability! What happens next will depend on his own fortune."

The True Lord fobbed them off with all sorts of divination terminology. As for the actual readings, he would sooner die than reveal a single word!

Damn it, even if there was a bond of fate, it had to be an accursed one!

"Then let him stay. He'll probably leave on his own before long anyway. By the way, True Lord, what did your divination say?" Northern River's Loose Cultivator had heard that the True Lord was studying divination, so he was very curious about what this senior had divined.

"..." True Lord Yellow Mountain said, "Well, uh, carry on chatting. Something urgent has come up, so I'm logging off."

With that, he swiftly went offline, leaving Northern River's Loose Cultivator looking utterly bewildered.