"Y-Young Female Bodhisattva..."
Guanyin hurriedly changed how she addressed her.
"Let's talk this out. Can we please not get so worked up?"
"Worked up? How could I not be worked up?"
Xiruan's little face flushed red with anger.
"You were trying to trick us out of the last thing our family owns, and you still expect me not to get worked up?"
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. This bald-headed woman was rotten to the core.
The other bad guys at least tried to rob them outright. This one was worse—she came smiling, using honeyed words to trick people into losing everything!
[ Ding! The host has encountered a new type of scam and is overflowing with a sense of justice! ]
[ Divine Choice triggered! ]
[ Option One: Be swayed by the other party's Buddhist teachings and hand over Master Tongtian of your own accord. Reward: one Buddhist Clear Mind Mantra (the version that makes you sleepy as soon as you recite it). ]
[ Option Two: Shut the door and pretend you didn't hear anything. Reward: Ostrich Mentality (MAX). ]
[ Option Three: Decide that the other party is a scammer on a whole other level, expose her true colors, and demand compensation for emotional distress! Reward: Nine Revolutions Mystic Art (Body Chapter)! ]
"Option Three! I have to pick Option Three!"
Xiruan made her choice without hesitation.
You had to use the most direct approach when dealing with an advanced scammer like this!
[ Ding! The host has made a choice. Reward distributed! ]
A flood of profound information surged into Xiruan's mind.
"Hmph! You rotten bald-headed woman, you picked the wrong day to mess with me!"
Xiruan felt strength coursing through her whole body. She took her little legs and strode toward Guanyin, one step at a time.
"Tell me! Are you in cahoots with that nasty old loan shark, that awful village bully, that crooked accountant, and that rotten Second Uncle?"
"Did you all gang up on my honest dad because you thought you could bully him?"
Guanyin Bodhisattva watched the little girl marching toward her, Milk Bottle slung over her shoulder, and felt her temples throbbing.
She had a very bad feeling about this.
This assignment was going to end in disaster.
Guanyin Bodhisattva's head throbbed.
She was a dignified quasi-sage Great Being, the reincarnation of Daoist Cihang, and one of the most eloquent Bodhisattvas in the Western Religious Sect. Yet now a three-and-a-half-year-old child had left her utterly speechless.
If word got out, how could she ever show her face in the Three Realms again?
"Young Female Bodhisattva, listen to me..." Guanyin tried one last time.
"I'm not listening, I'm not listening!" Xiruan threw a tantrum, rolling around and shaking her head. "The turtle's chanting sutras!"
Then she added, "You're a big liar! You're a rotten bald-headed woman trying to trick my family out of our land deed!"
Guanyin Bodhisattva: "..."
She felt her Dao Heart being poked full of holes by the child's unfiltered words.
This couldn't go on.
Guanyin's eyes narrowed. She decided to use a little force.
She sat cross-legged on her lotus throne, brought her palms together, and assumed a solemn, dignified pose as she began to chant.
Om—
Waves of Buddhist chants spread out in every direction.
It was Buddhism's most profound salvific chant, meant to deliver those who were fated to hear it!
It could make even stubborn rocks nod, make evil spirits lay down their butcher's knives, and instantly convert those of weak resolve, leaving them to see the four elements as empty.
Guanyin was brimming with confidence. In just a moment, the child's fiery temper would surely be soothed. Then she could reason with her, and things would go twice as smoothly.
What happened next left everyone utterly dumbfounded.
The Buddhist chants, powerful enough to shake the mind of even a Da Luo Golden Immortal, vanished without a trace as soon as they came within three feet of Xiruan.
Xiruan stood where she was, stuck a finger in her ear, and looked disgusted.
"That buzzing is so noisy!"
She felt as if tens of thousands of green-headed flies were swarming around her ears.
"You rotten bald-headed woman! You're not just trying to scam us—you're trying to annoy us to death with noise!"
Xiruan thought this scammer's tricks were endless. You never knew what she'd try next.
Guanyin Bodhisattva was dumbfounded.
A book search turned up nothing; maybe try searching for the author instead. The title might have changed!
How could this be?
Her Great Universal Salvation Chant had actually... failed?
How could this child's spirit be so resilient?
As Guanyin Bodhisattva questioned reality, her chant had an unexpected effect somewhere else.
Deep in the chaos, an unknown distance from Zixiao Palace.
A battered figure in a black Daoist robe, her aura weak and unsteady, was desperately fleeing in this direction.
She was Holy Mother Wudang, one of the few senior disciples of the Interception Sect who had survived the Investiture of the Gods.
After the Myriad Immortals Array was broken and the Interception Sect fell, she had followed her master, Master Tongtian's, orders. She led some of the disciples away ahead of time and hid on the fringes of the Primeval World, struggling to survive.
But not long ago, the Western Religious Sect had discovered her hiding place, drawing several Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to surround and attack them.
After a fierce battle, nearly all the disciples she had brought with her were dead or wounded. She herself had suffered severe injuries and was now fleeing for her life.
Somehow, she sensed that her master's aura was somewhere in this chaos. So she flew toward it without hesitation, hoping to find a chance at survival.
Now she was at the end of her strength. Nearly all the magical power in her body was gone, and her injuries had left her spirit dazed and heavy.
Just as she was about to collapse, waves of Buddhist chants reached her ears.
"Damn it... those bald donkeys from the Western Religious Sect caught up with me!"
Holy Mother Wudang's heart tightened. The chants stirred her injuries, making her already-chaotic magical power even more violent. She spat out another mouthful of blood.
Her vision went black, and she nearly fell from the chaos.
Just as despair overtook her, a childish, indignant shout rang clearly in her ears.
"You rotten bald-headed woman! You're not just trying to scam us—you're trying to annoy us to death with noise!"
Holy Mother Wudang jolted.
She looked toward the sound and saw a cute little girl standing at the entrance to Zixiao Palace, carrying an enormous bottle and yelling at a Bodhisattva shining with Buddha Light.
That Bodhisattva... wasn't she Guanyin, one of the main forces hunting her down?!
And that little girl...
Holy Mother Wudang's pupils contracted sharply.
There was an incredibly familiar, incredibly dear aura coming from the child... the aura of her master, Master Tongtian!
How could... how could that aura be on a three-and-a-half-year-old girl?
Could it be...
An outrageous, audacious thought took root in Holy Mother Wudang's mind.
Could this be the last bloodline her master had left behind before he was imprisoned?
His final hidden move?!
Holy Mother Wudang trembled with excitement.
She saw hope!
Hope for the Interception Sect's revival!
Guanyin Bodhisattva also noticed Holy Mother Wudang's arrival.
She furrowed her brows and thought, What rotten luck.
Those remnants of the Interception Sect really were impossible to get rid of.
Still... this was fine. She would convert this remnant of the Interception Sect in front of the mysterious little girl. That would show off Buddhism's compassion, and give her a chance to probe the girl's true nature.
With that thought, Guanyin Bodhisattva turned to Holy Mother Wudang, a compassionate smile returning to her face.
"Fellow Daoist Wudang, the sea of suffering is boundless, but turning back is the other shore."
"The Interception Sect's fate has run its course. Why cling to delusion? Why not take refuge in my Buddha and share in the bliss of the Western Paradise? Would that not be wonderful?"
Her voice was full of temptation. Every word struck Holy Mother Wudang's already-fragile Dao Heart.
Xiruan watched the pretty bald-headed woman stop arguing with her and turn to keep muttering at a very pitiful-looking old auntie in black.
The old auntie's face had gone pale from all that chatter, and she was swaying as if she might fall over.
Wasn't that just bullying someone?
And bullying an injured old person, at that!
"Hey! You rotten bald-headed woman!"
Xiruan's inner universe, raised on the core values of respecting the elderly and caring for the young, burst into action.
"Stop bullying that old auntie!"
(Pfft—hahahaha—)
(I've been grinning through these two chapters... I'm dying of laughter.)
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