EP.3 · [Le Freak · Wild Ideas]

Foreword:

[Gaining time is gaining everything.]

[--Ilya Nikolaevich Ulyanov]

[Part 1: The Little Brotherhood | The Grey Robe Monk]

After cleaning up the blood and the body, Xue Ming changed into clean staff clothes and then began to wait.

Bathed in the warm light of the customer service room, Wood Plark rubbed his chin, like a statue.

He remained completely still, his eyes unfocused, as if he were rapidly rehearsing and thinking in his mind.

Xue Ming: "What do we do next?"

Wood: "We'll deal with whatever comes our way."

Xue Ming: "How many enemies are left?"

Wood: "I don't know."

Xue Ming: "I noticed you threw the Red Mountain Stone into economy class earlier; quite a few people were staring at it."

Wood: "Even innocent children will take a second look at a toy that suddenly appears, and that doesn't mean anything. Just because someone likes playing games, likes strange toys, and likes pulling the trigger in the virtual world doesn't mean he's a serial killer."

Xue Ming: "I feel like you're being sarcastic."

"If you think that responding to each move is too passive, I have a proactive approach, it just depends on whether you dare to use it," Wood Plark said, suddenly becoming more energetic.

The change in posture was very strange--

--It's like a stone statue coming to life.

The train conductor suddenly turned his head, revealing a confident and powerful smile. His gleaming teeth and bright red tongue made him seem like the devil's representative peddling a new contract to humanity.

"You're not a passive person, Jiang Xueming. I could clearly feel your passionate and high-spirited emotions during the duel just now," Wood said with a grin. "If you insist on taking the initiative."

Jiang Xueming's expression changed, from calm to anxiety.

To be honest, this train conductor gave him a very dangerous feeling.

--Like a highly explosive powder, in just one short hour, this VIP could be "gentle and considerate" or "sexy and alluring," and most importantly, when the Browning pistol spat fire and killed the flight attendant, the bad cat Butch.

Xue Ming would still tremble for a split second at the sound of gunfire—just for a fleeting moment.

Almost instinctively, when people hear a sudden loud noise, their bodies are always controlled by a conditioned reflex, and their muscles involuntarily tense up.

But Mr. Wood remained completely unmoved; he was even more mechanical than Xue Ming.

Or perhaps he had seen too many of these scenes. To put it more vividly, regarding the intense light and sound, the train conductor seemed to live in a place filled with explosives, his daily life revolving around creating explosions. Whether eating, sleeping, urinating, or defecating, he would hear this awe-inspiring, deafening noise exceeding 100 decibels.

Wood: "Nice clothes."

Jiang Xueming: "Yes, the flight attendants' uniforms are all very nice, their suits are impeccably tailored."

Wood: "He's got a good figure too."

Jiang Xueming: "Hmm"

Mr. Wood immediately pulled a booklet from his inner pocket. "Back to business, if you want to take the initiative, find the other bad cats on the plane. Find the orange cat Lightning and the chubby cat Topps. We need to review the second lesson at the Galahad Magic Academy, the topic of pheromones."

Jiang Xueming was stunned--

--The train conductor really did pull out his teaching materials and lesson plans in a very professional manner.

The blond guy put on his glasses without any hesitation, then pulled out a marker from the tea table, solemnly took off his coat, and showed off his peach-colored shirt and suspenders, looking very capable.

He brandished his marker to emphasize key points, and quickly drew two cats on the notice board on the customer service room's schedule wall.

"This is Lightning, this is Tops."

He took out a stick, a pure white ivory gear shift lever, and used it as a pointer to gently poke the cat-shaped image.

"Jiang Xueming, are you listening?"

Xue Ming's eyes widened. "Why... yours?"

Wood: "My what?"

Xue Ming: "You can be that fast? I don't understand. How fast can you take off your clothes, pull out a stick, search for paper and pen, and put on your glasses?"

To be honest, Wood's movements are even more like those of Bugs Bunny and Tom; he's practically a cartoon character.

We often use the phrase "as if divinely aided" to describe actions that are swift, efficient, and effective.

Judging from Xue Ming's eye movement speed, the precision and speed of Teacher Wood's movements just now were comparable to the standard of Soul Might.

"Winning time is winning everything. Focus on the important things, Jiang Xueming." Teacher Wood, not one to mince words, was trying to bring the daydreaming Xue Ming back to reality. "Is this the time to discuss my curvaceous figure? Does my skill level have anything to do with what we're about to do?"

"Teacher, please continue." Jiang Xueming took out her journal, ready to teach the lesson properly.

Although I don't quite understand Mr. Wood's strange sense of ritual, after all, the enemy is right outside—

The thought of spending so much time explaining and teaching made Xue Ming feel a little ridiculous.

"As we all know, cats are cats, and humans are humans." Wood casually sketched a human silhouette. "Their pheromones are completely different, their perspiration rates, metabolism, and even their Inspiration and spiritual pressure are all different."

Jiang Xueming: "To find these people, we need to get close to them?"

Wood raised his eyebrows. "Yet! It's not just about close contact. After we emerge from our cocoons, we can sense the emotions of the person we're observing by licking their bodily fluids, including but not limited to sweat, glandular secretions, tissue fluid, urine, and blood. Pheromones don't lie. As long as there's physical contact, just a taste will immediately reveal the other person's feelings."

Jiang Xueming pursed her lips in surprise and began to feel nervous.

Wood: "Is it difficult for you? Are you embarrassed?"

Jiang Xueming shook his head. "No, I was just thinking about how to get these things without being discovered by the enemy, and how to take them down immediately when I realize their true identities at such close range. That's extremely dangerous!"

Wood: "Yup! High risk, high reward."

Jiang Xueming: "Teacher Wood, what are you planning to do?"

With a "thump" --

Wood used a pointer to pull the body of the wicked cat, Miss Butch, out of the luggage rack.

What does she look like?

Jiang Xueming: "A female corpse. She had been dead for about six minutes, her eyes were starting to dry out, and she had bled to death. She looked like she was of mixed South American and Latin descent."

"Yes! Genius!" Wood brushed aside the flight attendant's disheveled hair, tidied up the bone fragments, adjusted her collar, and tore a button off her shirt to reveal her navel. "But that's not what I meant. I didn't ask you if you wanted to go on a blind date with her—nor did I ask if you were interested in becoming a forensic pathologist."

Immediately afterwards, Wood Plark put on a mask and pulled a spray bottle from his clothes.

He then helped Xue Ming put on a mask as well, spraying the mask with the spray.

He explained to Xue Ming.

"Universal Elixir plus glucose solvent, a very simple disinfection procedure."

Make the earmuffs using the same method.

--Serving as a solid shield for the mucous membranes of the five senses.

Finally, Wood, adopting the tone of the lead surgeon, said, "Assistant, give me the scalpel."

Xue Ming immediately made a scalpel from a stainless steel cup on the shelf next to the coffee machine.

"Well done!" The moment Dr. Wood got into character, it was as if he were switching personalities. He used brutal and savage methods to rip open Butch's abdomen.

"Pliers."

The abdominal fat, due to natural tension and the contraction and expansion of the abdominal muscles, immediately exposes strings of intestinal membranes and organs.

"Tweezers."

Xue Ming handed over all the tools.

Tourniquet

Wood immediately changed his mind as soon as he said it.

"I'm sorry, she doesn't need it for the time being."

Xue Ming was full of questions, but then he saw Wood holding the larvae with the Vita Imprint in his hands.

The clusters of White Lady, along with the connective tissue, clung together like a string of stinking passion fruits, sliding from Wood's hand back into his abdominal cavity.

Let's take a closer look.

As he said this, Wood's eyes widened—

--A metallic smell, similar to the Blessed Holy Blood, could be detected in the air.

However, unlike the vampire's recipe, the cursed cat Butch's blessing comes from reptiles and birds of the underworld.

"Any results yet, Professor Wood? Are you trying to deduce these guys' origins from the Blood Ceremony?" Jiang Xueming reasoned logically, "This flight attendant definitely came prepared; she couldn't have appeared out of thin air. There are probably accomplices among the crew, right?"

Dr. Wood simply continued the surgery, his expression indifferent.

Give me the needle and thread.

Without the energy supply from the blood donor, White Lady, exposed to the air, would die within ten seconds even without sunlight.

After Wood finished stitching up his wound and took off his gloves, he immediately looked at Xue Ming with regret.

"Feel sorry."

Jiang Xueming: "You can't find out her background?"

Wood: "It's a pity, she died. We couldn't save her. The surgery failed."

Jiang Xueming: "It's truly a sad story."

Wood: "Don't you have any sense of humor? I was clearly telling a joke."

Jiang Xueming, expressionless, said, "Hahahaha."

Wood pulled out a spray bottle and disinfected their eyes. "Back to this, the blood flowing through her veins comes from the Little Brotherhood, also known as the Grey Robe Monk, a branch of the Madness Butterfly Sect. You're probably not familiar with that term, so don't bother memorizing it."

Jiang Xueming began taking shorthand notes in his logbook.

Wood put the body back in the luggage rack.

"These guys are at least normal; at least they're afraid of dying." Wood tossed the surgical instruments back into the sink. "Use our method: try kissing them on the cheek, and we'll immediately be able to tell who they really are."

Jiang Xueming: "What should we do?"

Before he finished speaking, Wood Plark pulled back the curtain of the dressing room, revealing the flight attendants' pencil skirts and uniforms inside.

"How about I change into this outfit and pretend to be a flight attendant? Or maybe stage a hijacking to fool them all!"

Jiang Xueming was stunned--

"Are you serious?"

Wood: "Your expression is quite amusing."

Xue Ming: "There are very few things in this world that can make me show this expression. Last time, there was some strange young man who slept with an alien widow, and I had the same expression when I heard about it."

Wood: "I'm not kidding, this is a necessary ritual—the gunsmith."

Xue Ming: "Explain."

Wood pointed out the door, towards economy class.

"If we put on cute little skirts, ordinary people would definitely scream and yell, finding it unbearably strange. Their heart rate, muscles, body language, and expressions would all change drastically, right?"

Jiang Xueming took off a flight attendant uniform and looked at the women's clothing in his hand. He found it hard to imagine how awkward it would feel to wear it.

"But!" Wood clapped, trying to give Xue Ming courage with his applause. "Gunsmith, but! In the Little Brotherhood, these blood-placing units are probably used to it. White Lady is constantly gnawing at their vital essence; their nerves and brains have long been numb, just like scavengers who have borrowed too much money. They only become emotionally agitated and hysterical when they encounter something they care deeply about, something related to their own interests, or something that threatens their life or death. Otherwise, all the emotions of this bad cat Butch we encountered were faked."

[Part ② - How strange!]

Xue Ming: "How strange!"

Wood: "I'll go first, you go last. I'll collect their pheromones, like watches and cash worn close to their skin, as well as jewelry and bank cards. You'll pretend to be a hijacker, and before they realize what's going on, while they're still caught up in their [fuckly weird!] surprise and hesitation, catch them off guard and identify them."

Xue Ming: "Wait a minute! Captain Wood! To achieve this effect, to find their clues from their expressions, all we need is one person wearing a flight attendant uniform, right? Butch's uniform is too small. Do you want me to alter it? You're 185 centimeters tall; your shoulder width and waist won't fit in."

Wood: "That's exactly the effect I wanted."

Xue Ming: "What if the clothes tear or the seams break halfway through?"

Wood responded like a broken record, "That's the effect we wanted. It's not just a loose thread that's snapped open, it's the enemy's Gate of Death."

Xue Ming: "Do I need to change? Should I change into this outfit too?"

Wood: "No need. If you feel it doesn't fit and makes it difficult to fight, then you don't need to change—just hold your gun, go out and shout, 'Hijacking! My darlings! I have the real deal! Hand over your money and jewelry! Put them on this blonde bombshell's plate! Behave yourselves! Don't try to be heroes!'—that'll do it."

Xue Ming: "There are too many lines, and they're a bit cheesy."

"Oh," Wood said, his face full of disappointment, his initial enthusiasm extinguished. "What else?"

Xue Ming suddenly smiled, finding it quite amusing. "I promise you."

Wood recited the prepared words again, following the script.

"We'll adapt to the situation, understand?"

"Clear."

"Go for the weirdest possible way, deliver everything that's exotic, exciting, and captivating—like the ticklish sensation of ants crawling on your belly—to every economy class passenger. Understand?"

"Clear."

No, you don't understand--

Wood changed halfway through her skirt, grabbed a scalpel to shave her leg hair, and propped her powerful right leg up on the table. Even a shooting star would shout "Great leg!" from her.

Mr. Wood gently patted Xue Ming's face.

"--Look this way, say it again."

Xue Ming swallowed hard, trying his best to look fierce.

"Hijacking! My little darlings, please..."

"Stop here." Wood reached out and rubbed Xue Ming's temples. "Look closely, look closely at me."

The train conductor's forehead veins bulged, and his eyes were bloodshot, almost reaching his blue pupils. He was furious to the extreme, and his ferocious expression was like seeing his first love from many years ago, the goddess he secretly admired in school, now climbing out of the swimming pool and sitting next to a rich, fat pig.

It's filled with resentment, a desire to kill, a wish to twist the brat's head off, and a super villainous expression that also wants to hear a "pop."

Jiang Xueming was shocked.

"I see."

Wood Plark instantly returned to normal, patting his face, applying foundation to his fair cheeks, fixing his blush and lipstick, and then putting on an explosively heavy eye makeup. He took the opportunity to pull out the luggage rack and pull an eyeliner from Miss Butch's coat pocket.

"Sister, your moisturizing products are great. When I get back to hell, I'll ask you where you bought your skincare set!"

So--

Wood immediately tilted his head to listen more closely to the sounds coming from the corpse.

"Oh! Amazon? Which store? Please don't insult my grandmother--"

"--Never mind, I'll ask my wife when I have time."

After muttering to himself for a while, Wood turned to Xue Ming...

"She has a bad temper and doesn't want to get to know me, her new friend."

Xue Ming was still in the middle of this scene and hadn't realized what was happening yet.

Immediately afterwards, the train conductor tossed her hair, sprayed on some setting spray, and then began to take deep breaths in front of the mirror.

You can, you can, you can.

A small-sized women's shirt was seen slipped over the car's long, muscular frame.

The train conductor's face contorted in pain, and he nearly fainted. It took him a tremendous amount of effort to put his clothes back on.

"I'm going to succeed!"

Xue Ming: "Train commander."

Wood: "Shut up!"

Xue Ming: "How about I do it? I'm thinner."

Wood: "Shut the hell up! I can do it!"

Wood stretched the flight attendant's jacket almost to the point of being a full size too big.

Finally, the burly "girl" turned around and gave Xue Ming a flirtatious wink.

Xue Ming felt only gratitude and dread.

--I wondered to myself, could the duel between the Morpho Butterflies really be such a cruel and terrifying thing?

"Just say it if you feel disgusted." Wood regained his composure from his fawning, distorted expression and got down to business, tidying his clothes. "There's no need to hide your thoughts."

To be honest, it looks quite decent.

Wood Plark has a slender waist but very healthy upper body muscles. Squeezed into this uniform, he looks like Sexy Bomb that could explode at any moment, like a strange worker in a strip club. I bet if Xiao Qi saw this kind of promotional poster, she would run to the ticket office and buy a dozen or twenty tickets, and bring her best friends to go on a rampage.

Xue Ming: "She's really talented."

"Ugh!" Wood Plark said with obvious disgust, "Your gay index is off the charts, stay away from me!"

Xue Ming: "When does it start?"

Wood: "Don't rush, there's one last thing."

Xue Ming: "I'm worried, Commander. Can we really fool these enemies? You know, there are quite a few strange people in the surface world— their Madness Index is no less than that of cultists in the underworld. I'm afraid of accidentally harming ordinary people."

Wood walked towards first class, squatted down next to a male passenger, and asked with a grin.

"Sir, do you want to make money?"

The male passenger glanced at the stunning flight attendant and was speechless with shock.

Wood pulled out a thick wad of US dollars, counted out fifty bills, and handed over his clothes, which were covered in his pheromones—his peach-colored shirt, tie, leather pants, and leather shoes.

Do you want to make money?

The male passenger looked around, seemingly still in a daze.

After waiting for a long time, the man finally spoke hesitantly.

"Where? You want to sleep with me? Go to customer service, or the kitchen? Here? My tongue is very flexible."

Wood covered his face, looking utterly dejected.

He turned to Xue Ming, "Yes, you're right. There are many lunatics in this world, even more insane than the cultists of Madness Butterfly."

Jiang Xueming: "Could it be that you gave too much? That's five thousand dollars. It's normal for people to misunderstand."

"That makes sense." Wood squatted back down and continued speaking to the passengers, "I'm giving you money in exchange for you wearing these clothes until the plane lands, understand?"

The male passenger looked somewhat disappointed.

"Oh, that's all?"

Wood: "That's all."

Male passenger. "Is there anything else? Is it some kind of costume party?"

Wood: "What else do you want?"

Male passenger. "I like your eyeshadow and..."

Wood snatched the gun from Xue Ming, pointed it at the passenger's head, and cursed, "Enough, I've fucking had enough. Pay up, change your clothes, it's that simple."

The male passenger carefully took the clothes, then glanced at Wood with a dazed look.

Wood returned to the customer service room, where he could still hear strange sniffling and inhaling sounds behind him.

The experienced train conductor wiped the cold sweat from his brow, looking as if he had just been executed.

Jiang Xueming dared not say anything, only waiting for the show to begin.

After holding it in for a long time, Wood pointed to the airline signboard in the customer service room.

"I will never fly with this company again!"

Jiang Xueming: "That makes sense."

Wood put on her bow tie, straightened her hat, and looked like a top-tier blonde bitch.

He emphasized this to Xue Ming with great seriousness.

"Especially first class."

Xue Ming raised her eyebrows, pursed her lips, and tried to hold back and keep quiet.

"Mmm... mmm mmm."