"All right, that's it for this morning's lesson." Teacher Ibuki clapped his hands and glanced at the sun outside the window. "Now everyone go wash their hands. Lunch will be here any minute."
The classroom instantly burst into a hubbub.
Shin-chan's eyes lit up. "Lunch!"
He hadn't gotten to eat his Chocolate Stick this morning, and then he'd had to extract that thing called Chakra. His stomach had been growling for ages.
When he washed his hands, Shin-chan made a point of scrubbing them twice more than usual. He even washed his face while he was at it.
Uchiha Toru watched, dumbfounded, and couldn't help asking, "Are you really that excited for lunch?"
"Of course." Shin-chan shook the water off his hands. "I'm starving."
"You know how to use idioms?" Uchiha Toru asked in surprise.
"My mom taught me." Shin-chan proudly bobbed his head. "She also taught me 'wolfing it down,' 'sweeping it all away,' and 'you'll pay for this.'"
Uchiha Toru was silent for two seconds. "I don't think that last one is an idiom."
"Really?" Shin-chan tilted his head. "But my mom says it every time we go to a barbecue restaurant."
When they returned to the classroom, they found a tray set out on every desk.
The wooden trays had several compartments: one held rice, another miso soup, another fried fish, and one more...
Shin-chan's smile froze.
That compartment was full of neatly cut, bright green peppers, their smell utterly repulsive to him.
"..."
Shin-chan dropped into his seat, arms crossed over his chest. His expression was that of someone staring down a sworn enemy.
Uchiha Toru sat down beside him and looked from his own tray to Shin-chan's. "What's wrong? Don't you like green peppers?"
"It's not that I don't like them," Shin-chan said in a low voice.
"Then what is it?"
"They're my enemies."
Uchiha Toru: "..."
Shin-chan pointed at the slices of green pepper, his expression as serious as if he were analyzing the enemy's forces.
"Sure, they're green and look harmless, but they're traitors to the Vegetable World. They look like chili peppers, but they're not spicy. They want to be vegetables, but they taste weird. They've deceived everyone."
Uchiha Toru opened his mouth, but for a moment he had no idea what to say.
Shin-chan stared at the slices of green pepper, as if locked in a grueling battle. After a long while, he took a deep breath, picked up his chopsticks, and lifted a slice of pepper in front of his eyes.
The pepper glistened in the sunlight, as though it were saying to him, "Come on. Eat me."
Shin-chan's hand began to tremble. Then he looked at Uchiha Toru. "Have you heard the legend of the green pepper?"
"What legend?"
"There was a Ninja who was poisoned by the enemy while on a mission. There was no antidote. The only way to save him was to eat a hundred green peppers. He'd rather die than eat them."
Shin-chan put down his chopsticks, his expression tragic. "Later, people called him the Hard Man Who Does Not Eat Green Peppers. I think he was a long-lost relative of mine."
Uchiha Toru's mouth twitched. "You made that up, didn't you?"
"It's true." Shin-chan looked completely serious. "I even know his final words: 'Tell my children that green peppers aren't to be eaten. If you eat them, you've lost.'"
A soft laugh came from the corner.
Shin-chan turned and saw Kakashi standing there with his tray, watching them. His visible eye seemed to have curved slightly.
"What are you laughing at?" Shin-chan asked.
Kakashi shook his head solemnly. "I'm not laughing."
Shin-chan stared at him for two seconds, then looked back at his tray. His expression immediately crumpled.
Uchiha Toru quietly suggested, "Why don't you eat with your eyes closed? Just imagine it's not a green pepper, but something else."
"Like what?"
"An apple?"
Shin-chan thought it over, picked up a slice of green pepper, closed his eyes, and tried to convince himself. "This is an apple, this is an apple, this is an apple..."
He opened his mouth and took a bite.
Chew.
Chew.
Then he opened his eyes and stared at Uchiha Toru with a blank expression.
"How is it?" Uchiha Toru asked expectantly.
Shin-chan slowly set down his chopsticks. "I just ate an apple that tasted like green pepper."
"..."
"It's still a green pepper."
Uchiha Toru put a hand to his forehead.
Rin suddenly leaned over from beside them, smiling gently. "Shin-chan, why don't you give me your green peppers? I like them."
Shin-chan froze and looked at Rin's gentle smile.
Then he shook his head and earnestly refused. "No, I can't give something I hate to someone else. Mom said people who do that are the worst."
Rin blinked, a little surprised.
How could this strange-looking boy say something so considerate?
Shin-chan continued, "Besides, if you eat someone else's green peppers for them, you'll have nightmares tonight."
Rin: "..."
Uchiha Toru: "..."
Might Guy suddenly stood up, raised a thumb, and teared up. "Shin-chan, that's the spirit of youth!"
"Right?" Shin-chan raised his own thumb. "Youth means not eating green peppers."
The two thumbs pressed against each other in a scene that was both bizarre and passionately spirited.
Teacher Ibuki watched from the front of the classroom and rubbed his temples.
This child... was he a genius or an idiot?
In the end, Shin-chan still didn't eat the green peppers.
He picked them out one slice at a time and lined them up neatly along the edge of his tray. Then he ate every piece of meat, every grain of rice, all the miso soup, and every bit of fried fish.
At last, he looked at the few lonely green pepper slices, put his hands together, and murmured, "I'm sorry. I know you worked hard to become vegetables, but I really can't eat you. May you find your true selves in the trash can."
Uchiha Toru had watched the whole thing, his expression changing from shock to numbness.
"Do you do this every time?"
"Yep." Shin-chan nodded. "Mom says one day I'll eat green peppers."
"Do you think that day will ever come?"
Shin-chan thought seriously. "Maybe after I become Hokage."
"Why?"
"Because when I become Hokage, I can order all the green peppers to be wiped out."
Uchiha Toru was silent for a long time. At last, he said, "Good luck with that."
Shin-chan grinned. "Toru, you should do your best too. When I become Hokage, I'll appoint you Minister of Green Peppers. You'll be in charge of dealing with all the green peppers for me."
"I don't want to be that kind of minister."
"Then how about Minister of Chocolate Sticks?"
Uchiha Toru considered it. That actually sounded all right, so he nodded. "I might consider that."
The afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows and fell across the two five-year-old children.
One was planning his Path to Hokage, with "wipe out green peppers" as his central policy.
The other had been forced to become the Minister of Chocolate Sticks and was seriously considering the powers of the office.
In the corner, Kakashi finished his last bite of lunch, his gaze inadvertently passing over the Red Little Figure.
"You can get farther with brains." He wondered to himself, "What exactly was Dad talking about?"
But he thought he would remember that figure.
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