"Fuel, rice, oil, and salt—the first of all necessities! Fuel is the source of life!"
As he said this, Fang Mo forcefully poured the liquid from the wooden bowl into the infant's mouth. "...I need to feed him diesel!"
"Where the hell did you get diesel?!"
Jotaro Kujo immediately grabbed Fang Mo and snatched away the little wooden bowl. "You're a magician, so use magic to treat illnesses properly! No more messing around with medicine!"
"See? You're getting worked up again."
Fang Mo spread his hands in feigned helplessness. "I'm not practicing medicine at random. These treatments all have precedents. For example, there's this handsome guy next door named King Kong who drinks diesel every day. Now that he's grown up, he's strong enough to uproot mountains..."
"Which fucking King Kong is that?"
Even Hol Horse couldn't hold it together anymore. "...A Transformer?!"
"Obviously."
Fang Mo nodded as though it were only natural. "If you mean the one on Skull Island, that guy's a Titan beast. He eats radiation."
"You..."
"Of course, if you want me to treat him that way, I can. I happen to have a little enriched uranium left."
Before the others could say anything else, Fang Mo launched into another explanation. "Theoretically, one gram of uranium contains around twenty million calories. If I feed this kid one bite of enriched uranium, he'll never need to eat anything else for the rest of his life."
"Wouldn't he just die?"
Even Kakyoin Noriaki felt his vision go dark after hearing that.
"I'm only trying to cure him."
Fang Mo waved a hand, then continued with complete confidence. "Look, this guy's condition is pretty strange too. Not only is he burning up all over, he's constantly incontinent. As they say, strange illnesses need strange remedies..."
"Stop right now."
Jotaro