You're a Two-Sided Mirror / That's Me

Everything from that day was about to happen all over again.

'So Kushida's this kind of person.' 'She sure put on a good act.' 'Disgusting'...

The things her classmates had said kept echoing in her ears, and a sense of helplessness dragged her body down.

Even when her classmates had come to her door the next day, putting on an act as they tried to visit her and saying things that sounded concerned, seemingly unaware of her true nature, she no longer had the strength to make herself go to class.

Once the determination she'd worked up faded, it was difficult to summon again.

The feeling that her dark past might be exposed at any moment clung to her, making it hard to breathe.

This time, it was only a message made public to the readers of the Diary. What about next time?

She had no way to fight back.

Even Horikita Suzune had dared to threaten her with her dark past to make her open the door. Given the character of the person behind the Diary, it wasn't hard to imagine how many more times her secrets would be brought up.

But none of that was the deciding factor.

Kushida Kikyo understood perfectly well that if she'd been afraid of those things, she never would have chosen to enroll—not when she first saw the Diary, nor when she saw Horikita Suzune on the bus.

The real problem was that the pressure inside her had become unbearable.

She could no longer trust any way of relieving it.

She couldn't trust the anonymous message boards online, and she couldn't even trust the Diary she'd thought was absolutely safe.

She couldn't think of a single way to release all the pressure building up inside her.

She was going to explode.

If this kept up, she would explode completely.

That was why she was curled up in the dim dorm room, unable to take another step.

...Just lie here. Empty your mind. Close your eyes and think about nothing.

If she kept this up for a few more days, the lively, adorable, cheerful, generous, universally adored Kushida Kikyo everyone knew would be reborn.

But this woman in front of her had barged in without giving it a second thought.

And so, in utter disgust, Kushida Kikyo forced the words through her clenched teeth. "You don't understand anything. Not one thing."

"That's true. I don't."

Horikita Suzune answered calmly.

Even though Kushida Kikyo had spoken with such overwhelming hatred, her expression remained perfectly composed.

There wasn't nearly enough bite to it. Those words weren't even as shocking as the "Are you an idiot?" she'd heard from Asakusa Toru yesterday at noon.

"I don't understand why you're so fixated on making friends with people. I don't understand how someone like you could cause a disaster of that magnitude. And I don't understand why, when you seem so unwilling to go outside and see your classmates again, you're doing nothing but curling up in this room and shutting yourself away."

Horikita Suzune looked Kushida Kikyo straight in the eye.

"You're afraid of me. You're afraid the Diary will expose your past and your true nature. So why not just drop out? You could start over after that, couldn't you? It's only been a month."

Relationships hadn't fully formed yet. Even now, it was still possible to join other people's circles.

She could still fulfill her wish of "becoming friends with everyone."

"..." Kushida Kikyo fell silent for a moment. Then she suddenly spoke. "And what about you?"

"You came to this school chasing after your brother, pretending to be him. You thought you'd grown, but in the end, you were still stuck in the swamp that is Class D." With a sneer, Kushida Kikyo repeated the Diary's description of "Low-Spec Yukino."

Just as Horikita Suzune could easily tell that the Two-Faced Person was her, Kushida Kikyo, who was in the same class, could easily tell that the "Low-Spec Yukino" mentioned in the Diary was Horikita Suzune.

"I don't understand." Kushida Kikyo gave a derisive laugh and tilted her fair neck upward. "I don't understand what's so great about chasing after someone else's shadow. I don't understand how you, with such an outstanding older brother to look up to, ended up in Class D. And I especially don't understand how you could do something as stupid as telling the class about your information and even bowing down to beg them, when the Diary gave you so many hints."

"Yeah. Of course I don't understand."

Kushida Kikyo raised both hands and flashed a dazzling smile, her mockery as sharp as a blade.

Words that cut deep were never lies.

They were the truth.

The edge of her words slashed through the skin. Kushida Kikyo gripped the hilt and slowly pushed the blade into Horikita Suzune's body.

Just as she'd driven the blade into herself.

Come on. Let's hurt each other.

As if I were the only one whose dark past had been exposed by the Diary.

If you're going to suffer, then suffer with me!

Seeing Horikita Suzune's small hand silently clench the bedsheet, Kushida Kikyo's smile grew even brighter.

"..." Horikita Suzune instinctively wanted to look away, to escape.

But she quickly forced herself to stay where she was, continuing to meet Kushida Kikyo's gaze.

Running away wouldn't solve anything.

Wasn't changing the reason she'd made up her mind to come here?

She needed to admit her mistakes.

She was the one who had imitated her brother and failed to win his approval. She was the one who had ended up in Class D, stuck together with a bunch of losers. And she was the one who had lowered herself in disgrace to beg, only for Class D to end up with zero points anyway.

She had to admit all of that before she could move forward.

So Horikita Suzune closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

'I heard you got into Class D.' 'What a useless little sister.' 'Idiot Horikita Suzune.' 'Are you an idiot?'

It was as if one hurtful comment after another were echoing in her ears.

But when she opened her eyes again, the noise stopped.

"That's why I came to see you." Horikita Suzune stood up from the bed, walked over to Kushida Kikyo, and held out her hand. "Kushida, please become my friend."

During that month the Diary had recorded so carelessly, Kushida Kikyo had once made the same offer to her.

But this time, she was the one reaching out first.

"Smack—" Kushida Kikyo knocked her hand away. Her voice rang out in disbelief.

"Huh?"

"Are you sick in the head?"

"I begged you to accept my request so many times before, and you turned me down. Now that you know what I'm really like, you come over here and ask to be friends?"

Kushida Kikyo was seriously starting to wonder if there was something wrong with Horikita Suzune's head.

She'd bowed to the class and begged them to lend her money so she could buy information. She'd openly pulled out the Diary in class and said it was her source. If she hadn't been watching the other students' reactions at the time, Horikita might have baited her into revealing herself right then.

And it wasn't just that. She'd threatened her into opening the door, and now she'd reached out and said she wanted to be friends.

Every time Horikita Suzune did something, it was beyond anything Kushida expected.

Seriously, was this woman sick in the head?

"That's right. Please become my friend." Though Kushida Kikyo had slapped her hand away on instinct, Horikita Suzune showed no sign of changing her mind. She merely nodded and held her hand out to Kushida again.

"Please be my first friend."

Eyes, gaze, words.

Kushida Kikyo believed she'd seen the surface and the insides of countless people.

The way they acted in front of others, the lies mixed into their words, the disguises on their faces.

Their true feelings when they stood together against someone behind that person's back, their expressions when they shared their honest thoughts with her, the way they let their guard down as they confided in her.

To her, lies were as familiar as anything.

But at that moment, she couldn't see a trace of anything false on Horikita Suzune's face.

This woman was serious.

She truly wanted to be friends with her.

You've got to be kidding me.

She was going to throw up.

Just looking at Horikita Suzune's face made her want to throw up.

But even worse was the fact that she'd started to want to take that hand.

Clutching her right hand tightly so it wouldn't take Horikita Suzune's, Kushida Kikyo instinctively tried to back away. But the chair behind her was pressed against the desk, leaving her no room to retreat.

'Take her hand.'

A voice cried out in her heart.

The strength with which she held down her right hand began to weaken. She seemed to be... not quite as disgusted by the woman in front of her as she'd thought.

"...Why?" The last of Kushida Kikyo's resistance slipped through her lips. "I can't understand, and I can't accept it."

"So give me a reason I can believe in."

"..." Looking at Kushida Kikyo now, Horikita Suzune couldn't help letting the corners of her mouth curve upward.

For the first time that day, she smiled.

Then she softly gave her answer.

"Because you're a two-sided mirror."

Chapter 75: That's Me

"You should find a mirror."

That was what he'd said.

So she'd come here.

Kushida Kikyo was the perfect mirror.

She was known as the Two-Faced Person. With her two sides, her understanding of human nature and people's hearts, and her wide circle of friends, she was the ideal person to use as a mirror.

Through Kushida Kikyo, she could finally see her own true nature.

"...I don't understand at all." Kushida Kikyo's expression was utterly baffled.

'You're a two-sided mirror'?

What kind of crazy thing was this woman saying now?

Horikita Suzune: "...Ah."

The moment she said it, she remembered that Kushida Kikyo hadn't been there at the time.

She didn't know about the advice someone had given her, or what she was trying to do.

"It doesn't matter." Seeing that Kushida Kikyo didn't seem inclined to take her outstretched hand, Horikita Suzune nonchalantly withdrew it and sat back down on the bed. "I'll do my best to help you understand."

Horikita Suzune lowered her head and gathered her thoughts for a moment. Then she spoke softly. "I have an older brother."

"He's amazing. Whether it's academics or sports, he's always number one."

"Everyone likes him. Everyone respects him."

"So do I." Suddenly, she began talking about the past. "I respect my brother, and... I admire him."

"I wanted so badly to become someone like him, instead of the Horikita Suzune who couldn't do anything."

She seemed to be remembering something.

But the more she remembered, the stranger Kushida Kikyo's expression became.

"..."

...Is this really what I asked you to explain?