A Competition to See Who Was Worse

April 4 was a Thursday.

It was a good day. Hollywood "big-shot" director Zucker's first film, Run Lola Run, was officially released. Of course, the screening was at 10 p.m., a preview showing. Tomorrow would be the official opening day.

You said there wasn't a premiere?!

Buddy, you're overthinking it!

A film made by a rookie director, rookie actors, and a new company, with a budget of only $800,000—did you really think there'd be a premiere? And even if they held one, hardly anyone would show up.

Zucker and Wald Pictures weren't famous!

Of course, even without a premiere, Zucker still painfully dug into his wallet to rent a theater, inviting all the employees of Wald Pictures and SpongeBob House, along with the key members of the crew, to watch the film. He also had some friends come to show their support.

People like Candy, the negotiation expert; Zhang Wei, the lawyer; and Lasseter, head of the Pixar Five Tigers.

"Zucker, I can't believe there are five reporters here."

Charlize pouted, looking delighted. No matter how low the budget was, Run Lola Run was still her first film as a leading lady.

The young Professor X didn't seem to care much. He smiled and said, "Charlize, stay calm. You're the leading lady, after all!"

James McAvoy was young, but he'd had a good upbringing. He seemed composed and mature, never acting superior or inferior to anyone.

Five reporters?

Heh!

Zucker and Victor exchanged a smile.

As for those five reporters, Victor had paid them to come. Yes, it was called advertising.

Otherwise, why would reporters show up for a film from a company with no track record?

"Zucker, congratulations on the release of your first film as a director. I'm sure it'll be a success—just like our Toy Story was back then."

John Lasseter had dressed up for the occasion. He looked much better than he had at the release of Toy Story. That was right—he had money now, a millionaire worth tens of millions.

"Thanks for coming, my friend."

Zucker was very grateful to John Lasseter.

It wasn't just because he'd come today. He'd also gone to great lengths to help with the distribution of Run Lola Run and the negotiations with the theater chains. Otherwise, the people running the chains wouldn't have given Wald Pictures the time of day. With an $800,000 budget, how many screens did they think the theaters would give them?

"Buddy, if you keep talking like that, you'll make me proud."

Lasseter laughed heartily.

Strictly speaking, Run Lola Run opening on 355 screens in California and Utah was already an impressive start for Wald Pictures. Of course, that was mainly because it was April, when theaters were showing low-budget films and the less popular releases from big studios.

Just look at the summer, Thanksgiving, and Christmas seasons. Zucker would be lucky to get 100 screens from the major studios at this point.

The film started soon afterward.

The Wald Pictures logo, "SpongeBob," appeared on screen first.

A theater somewhere in Los Angeles.

The film playing was, unsurprisingly, Run Lola Run. There weren't many people in the audience—only twelve.

"Hey, buddy, you're really dragging me out to a movie late at night instead of sleeping, gaming, or hitting a bar? Come on, we're two grown men! And what kind of lousy movie is Run Lola Run, anyway? I don't recognize a single star, and I've never even heard of the production company, Wald Pictures."

A young Black man kept chattering at his young white friend.

The white man didn't seem bothered. "Tom, you're right. The director and cast aren't famous. But did you even notice the producer credit for Run Lola Run?"

The producer credit?

Tom, the young Black man, froze. He looked at the information on the ticket.

Producer of Run Lola Run: John Lasseter!

"Oh my God, the producer of this movie is the director of Toy Story!"

At once, Tom, the young Black man, was clearly intrigued.

What a load of crap about the producer!

In truth, Zucker was using a trick he'd learned in his previous life: riding someone else's fame and piggybacking on their success.

Toy Story was a hit, so Zucker had approached John Lasseter and asked him to be credited as the producer of Run Lola Run, hoping to boost the film's profile and appeal. This kind of credit-grabbing trick had been done to death in Great China in the twenty-first century, and ordinary audiences knew all about it. But American audiences in the 1990s hadn't been exposed to it very often.

Well, Zucker had also promised Lasseter 2% of the film's box-office profits.

That was Hollywood for you. Even brothers kept their accounts separate. You could help someone out, but you still had to get paid what you were owed.

Zucker had gritted his teeth over it plenty, but that was the going rate. There was nothing he could do to change it.

Early the next morning.

Zucker got up bright and early and drove to Wald Pictures.

At that moment, apart from those working off-site, all the employees who could make it to the Wald Pictures office had arrived early. Run Lola Run was the company's first theatrical release, and the new boss had directed it himself. Of course they were taking it seriously.

Ten in the morning.

"Boss, the preview and midnight-show numbers are in. We made a total of $92,000, ranking ninth among the films released around the same time," Victor reported.

The previous day, Run Lola Run had averaged two showings at each theater. With 355 screens, that meant an average of $259 per screen, or around $130 per screen per showing.

Those numbers didn't sound like much.

At least, they were nowhere near the four or five million dollars Toy Story had made during its midnight showings.

But movie tickets now cost an average of $7, meaning a showing had around eighteen viewers. And that was during the midnight slot, not even peak viewing time. For a no-name film like Run Lola Run, that was actually a pretty good start.

A success?!

"Boss, that's right. Run Lola Run can be considered a success. If word of mouth spreads and we increase the number of screenings, it can make at least $3 million."

Victor hadn't said the whole story, though. That was assuming no other film posed a threat to Run Lola Run.

"Heh!"

Zucker wasn't worried at all. I'm a transmigrator, after all. I've already looked up the other films opening around the same time. Apart from Paramount's Primal Fear, which ranked twenty-eighth on North America's annual box-office chart, the rest are basically competing to see which one is worse.

Did Hollywood not make bad movies?

Of course it did!

Hollywood produced more bad films every year than anywhere else in the world—more than Great China, even.

Seeing Run Lola Run's midnight-show numbers, Zucker felt much less worried. Run Lola Run had an 8.1 rating on Douban in the future, making it the highest-quality film among those released in North America in April. When the competition was a contest to see who was worse, at least it was guaranteed not to lose money.

It might even turn a decent profit. The only question was how far it would exceed the $3 million target.