Chapter Nineteen: Fireworks Are Cold (Three)

As if she hadn't noticed how intimate their position was, she lifted her head. They were so close that Kitagawa Ryo could see his own reflection in her pupils. Her voice, like warm syrup, trickled into his ears, and for a moment, Ryo felt that this was a tenderness she showed only to him.

As though watching someone else, Kitagawa Ryo clearly realized that Ichinose Honami had moved him once again.

It was always like this. Whenever he resolved to make a clean break, seeing her made him give in. Ichinose Honami didn't need any promises from him. As long as she stood in front of him, he wouldn't leave her.

"I'm fine now. I just caught a chill."

Kitagawa Ryo shook his head, the gesture making him look like a child acting spoiled.

Ichinose Honami leaned a little closer. Her forehead gently touched his, and her silky hair fell against his face, tickling him. She whispered softly in his ear:

"Looks like your fever's gone."

Karuizawa Kei stood at the other end of the room. It had only been a few minutes, but she felt as if she'd watched years flow by between the two people standing almost pressed together. The weight of all that time was like an impregnable wall, with their memories as brick after brick, sealing the two of them inside.

Karuizawa Kei's tears had never been worth much. During the days she'd been bullied, she'd lost count of how many times she'd cried. Unfortunately, that little bit of warmth couldn't withstand an entire bucket of water poured over her head. But she knew how to cry. At least it proved she was still afraid and frightened. Those who weren't afraid or frightened were treated even more brutally.

But now, she felt that tears were the most precious things in the world, as if every drop that fell from her body would take a piece of her life with it. So she stood there, pressing her lips together until they turned white and tightening the corners of her eyes, doing her best to keep those sparkling tears from falling.

"The day after tomorrow's my birthday, right?"

Ichinose Honami seemed to have just remembered. She lifted her right hand from the back of Kitagawa Ryo's hand and pressed her index finger to his lips, silencing the words he was about to say.

"Then I'll make my birthday wish early. I hope you get better soon, Ryo."

"Then we can go see the Fireworks Festival together. Okay?"

Kitagawa Ryo felt as if she'd taken control of the entire situation. Like a butterfly caught in a spiderweb, all he could do was nod and say yes.

"Since you're fine, Ryo, I'll head home first. If I get back too late, Mom will worry. I also need to tell Maki how you're doing."

Only after hearing Kitagawa Ryo agree did Ichinose Honami stand up. She still hadn't let go of his hand. She bent toward him slightly, her smile as warm as ever.

"It's a promise."

She pressed her thumb against his, as if stamping her seal onto a document.

"Honami."

Kitagawa Ryo called out just as she released his hand and was about to leave. A vague sense of danger had been lodged deep in his heart, like a sunken ship resting at the bottom of the deepest sea. Even with the fresh scent of green oranges still lingering beneath his nose, he could smell that danger. He realized Ichinose Honami's situation was nothing like the calm she was pretending to show.

"...I'll have Mr. Izaki take you home."

In the end, he didn't ask her anything. Kitagawa Ryo thought she'd finally learned how to lie without batting an eye. It had only been a few days since they'd gone to the park, yet her acting had improved at an astonishing pace.

"No need! It's not that far, and the rain's let up a little. It'll be better if Mr. Izaki stays here to look after you."

Ichinose Honami started walking again. She didn't seem to have any intention of saying another word to Karuizawa Kei.

"Don't forget your umbrella."

"How could I forget? Have a little faith in my memory."

After teasing him with that remark, Ichinose Honami left the hospital room.

For a long while after Ichinose Honami left, Kitagawa Ryo remained half-reclined in bed, silent and with his eyes open. The TV had finished the evening news and started playing a family drama, a story about a wife and her husband's mistress. The two women were struggling and slapping each other, so Karuizawa Kei went over and turned it off.

The apple that had been cut earlier had started to oxidize and turn brown, so Karuizawa Kei began peeling a new one. As if glad to have something to do, she bustled about borrowing a plate and toothpicks. In the end, she presented Kitagawa Ryo with a plate of neatly sliced fruit.

"Would you like some, senpai?"

Kitagawa Ryo certainly wasn't going to turn down the effort the girl had put in over the past twenty minutes. He picked up a toothpick with his left hand and speared the slices one by one, putting them into his mouth like a machine performing a task. He chewed and swallowed.

"Thanks for all your hard work. Aren't you going home, Kei?"

Only after finishing the whole plate of apples did Kitagawa Ryo give her his usual sunny smile. He put on an exaggerated yawn.

"It's already late."

In fact, the clock had only just passed eight.

"I told my family I'd be home a little later."

Karuizawa Kei took the plate from him, looking somewhat uneasy. She was as careful and timid as a newborn animal. Her eyes were as blue as Ichinose Honami's, but what showed in them was nothing like what showed in Honami's. They were different people to begin with.

Kitagawa Ryo simply looked at Karuizawa Kei. He felt as if his shadow had miraculously merged with the girl's. Suddenly, he understood. The sincere, admiring feelings Karuizawa Kei held for him now were the same as the feelings he'd once had for Ichinose Honami. Even the outcome was the same: hopeless.

If two people could truly find happiness together, they should have been equals from the beginning, at least in each other's eyes. For the first sixteen years of his life, he'd held to that belief about love. He'd been a child just like her. They played with the same toys, ate the same cheap ice pops, and raised a cat they'd found outside. But it hadn't mattered. His confession had still been rejected.

And now, he'd been pushed into the position Ichinose Honami had once occupied. He'd become the one in control of the relationship.

"Would you go for a walk with me?"

For a moment, Kitagawa Ryo couldn't decide whether to call the girl in front of him "Karuizawa" or "Kei." He silently removed the name, as if saying it aloud would be a betrayal.

"Sure, but let's just walk around the hospital. It's still raining outside."

Karuizawa Kei agreed without hesitation. She took down the IV bag and hung it on a mobile stand, then found a pair of slippers for Kitagawa Ryo to put on. They walked side by side.

There wasn't much to see in the hospital at night. Apart from the doctors in white coats and the nurses coming and going, the area of private rooms was so luxurious that even the corridors were spacious. Kitagawa Ryo and Karuizawa Kei wandered around for a while before passing through a courtyard and entering another building.

Unlike the relatively open area they'd left, this place had an entire row of blue chairs along the corridor for patients receiving IVs. The place was suddenly crowded, and all sorts of shouts blended with the shrill voices of children. Kitagawa Ryo, who'd been getting a little drowsy, suddenly felt more alert. That was when he noticed that, at some point, Karuizawa Kei had clasped his left hand tightly.

"It's better if we hold hands. It's pretty crowded here."

Karuizawa Kei stood guard like a solemn sentry, shielding Kitagawa Ryo behind her, even though she was shorter than the patients behind them.

"Want to sit for a while, senpai? Mr. Izaki said he bought you some hot cocoa. I'll go get it."

Her phone received a message. Karuizawa Kei glanced around and found a corner of the corridor for Kitagawa Ryo. After securing the stand, she hurried off.

She returned quickly. It felt like less than three minutes had passed before Karuizawa Kei came back with two steaming cups of cocoa.

"I was worried you might not taste much right now, senpai, so I added extra sugar!"

She handed the cup in her right hand to Kitagawa Ryo. Karuizawa Kei had already put a straw in it before coming over. Just as she was about to put one in her own cup, a child running down the corridor suddenly bumped into her right hand.

The unopened cup of cocoa fell to the floor. Luckily, the packaging was intact and none of the liquid splashed out. Only after it landed did the cocoa begin to trickle out.

"Please keep an eye on your child. There are patients here who need to rest, too."

Karuizawa Kei frowned and called out to the child, but no one on the other side seemed inclined to come over and apologize. She could only sigh and borrow a broom and mop from a nurse to clean up the mess.

A woman nearby, who was holding a child receiving an IV, came over to comfort her.

"At least no one got scalded. Otherwise, they might have made you pay for it."

"Hmph, it'd still be his fault. Besides, there are cameras all over the hospital."

After saying that, Karuizawa Kei returned to Kitagawa Ryo.

"It's okay, it's okay. If I want some, I can go buy another one later. You drink yours first."

Kitagawa Ryo hadn't really wanted any cocoa anyway. Since he hadn't even taken a sip, he decided to hand his cup to Karuizawa Kei.

"What's wrong with sharing a cup, if you're a couple?"

The woman had overheard them and laughed.

"We're not quite at that stage yet, but I guess you could say we are?"

Karuizawa Kei's face flushed bright red. She hurriedly waved her hands in denial.

"Come on, you kids are all so secretive these days. There's nothing wrong with dating."

Having found a topic to talk about, the woman launched into the story of her love life. Before long, even the bored Karuizawa Kei and Kitagawa Ryo were drawn in.

"Goodbye!"

It wasn't until a full half hour later that the woman finished her story. Her child had finished the IV, too, and Karuizawa Kei said goodbye as the woman stood up.

Karuizawa Kei was speaking when she noticed Kitagawa Ryo leaning his head against her shoulder. He seemed to sense her moving, so he snuggled closer against her.

"IVs can make you feel cold. They can even give you the shivers."

The woman handed Karuizawa Kei the little blanket that had been covering her daughter.

"You two weren't getting your IVs in the corridor originally, were you? This is the blanket the nurse gave us at first. Put it over him. The air conditioning's so cold."

Karuizawa Kei thanked her and accepted the blanket. She should have taken the sleeping Kitagawa Ryo back to his room, but for some reason, she wanted to stay here a little longer.

She wrapped the blanket around him and herself.

Half the cocoa remained in the cup on the chair beside her. Karuizawa Kei took a sip through the straw. It had gone cold, but it was still sweet.

After a while, Mr. Izaki returned with the big black umbrella. Judging by the look of exasperation on his face, Ichinose Honami really had forgotten to take her umbrella. If nobody came to pick her up, she might have gone home in the rain.

Mr. Izaki seemed about to tell Kitagawa Ryo, but then he saw Karuizawa Kei holding a finger to her lips in a gesture for silence. She gave him a displeased look.

"Hey, he's asleep."

"Don't wake him."

Chapter Nineteen: Fireworks Are Cold (Three)

Kitagawa Ryo felt as if he were resting in a warm nest, like snuggling under a kotatsu on a winter's day. He'd always loved the kotatsu's unique sense of comfort and drowsy ease. Even peeling a mandarin seemed leisurely there. Time beneath the kotatsu stood still, separate from the rest of the world, like a fragment cut from the river of time.

He burrowed in a little deeper. Kitagawa Ryo's mind was as quiet as a manor abandoned for years. There were no human voices or footprints; lush plants lived and died on their own, and every moment flowed slowly along their veins.

An overwhelming sense of freedom and security surrounded Kitagawa Ryo. In this vast, empty, and comfortable illusion, he could think about anything—or nothing at all. But as soon as he lay there, the memories piled up in the depths of his heart began to unfold, layer by layer, like paper wrapping around a bundle. After looking through them, he put them away again, one layer at a time. It was like a farmer turning over his wheat to dry in the sun, and it left him with a quiet sense of satisfaction.

Karuizawa Kei stroked Kitagawa Ryo's bangs and watched his sleeping face, peaceful as a child's. Without knowing why, she moved closer and studied him bit by bit, starting with his brows and eyes.

She knew Kitagawa Ryo was handsome, but seeing him up close still made her marvel at his looks.

The hospital bed was large. Even with Kitagawa Ryo lying in the middle, there was plenty of room on either side. Karuizawa Kei slowly lay down on her side at the very edge. She was about twenty centimeters away from Kitagawa Ryo, but didn't try to get any closer.

Karuizawa Kei quietly closed her eyes and matched her breathing to the boy's.

That was all.

It was ten o'clock at night.

Meanwhile, Ichinose Honami had just finished another argument with her mother. She dragged herself back to her room and collapsed onto her bed. Her mind seemed empty, yet somehow too full. A strange feeling rose from deep in her heart and lodged in her throat, impossible to spit out or swallow. She tossed restlessly on the bed like a fish. There was no moonlight outside, only darkness, and Ichinose Honami resigned herself to pulling the covers over her head.

Half an hour later, Ichinose Honami realized she couldn't sleep. She got out of bed, quietly opened the door to her room, then carefully opened the front door.

When she felt uneasy, she went to "his" room—or rather, the room he used to live in.

She unlocked the door with the spare key and stepped into the quiet, empty room. Ichinose Honami lay down on the cold, hard floor.

She stared up at the low ceiling and curled her arms and legs in, drawing her body into a ball as her consciousness slowly sank into sleep.

This was pointless, wasn't it? Ever since Kitagawa Ryo had moved out, the house he'd lived in had been completely empty. He hadn't left any furniture behind.

As far as living spaces went, the room was dreadful. There were no blankets, no sheets, and no pillow. Its only advantage was that it was indoors; otherwise, it was hardly any different from sleeping outside. She did come to clean it often, so at least it wasn't too dirty.

It was clearly no comparison to sleeping in her own bed. Even the princess in the fairy tale had tossed and turned because of a pea beneath a hundred mattresses. Most people probably couldn't imagine making a girl sleep on a cold, hard floor like this.

But for Ichinose Honami, this had once been Kitagawa Ryo's room.

That said... if she was simply drawn to his scent, why didn't she just stay at the hospital? She had every right to.

This place was anything but comfortable to sleep in. She remembered waking up here for the first time one morning and feeling as if every bone in her body had fallen apart.

Because... why?

Ichinose Honami couldn't find the answer.

The feeling had begun back then.

She'd gone out and seen him holding hands with Karuizawa Kei in a café—or rather, their fingers had been interlaced in an intimate clasp.

No, perhaps it had started even earlier.

Maybe it began when she first found out that Kitagawa Ryo had accepted someone else's confession. She knew full well their relationship was a "false love," and yet that day, she couldn't help bragging to Karuizawa Kei about how well she knew him. It was something she never would have imagined herself doing before.

When the feelings conveyed by his gaze seeped into another girl, when his lips touched the other end of the straw with a heart-shaped mark, perhaps some part of Ichinose Honami's understanding had already changed, as if someone had invaded her territory.

From then on, the impulse deep in her chest had never gone away.

Whether she was sleeping or eating, the emotion always filled her chest, growing stronger by the day.

Yet Ichinose Honami still didn't know what to call that impulse.

A powerful force without a name, like a magnet, pushed all her thoughts and actions in the same direction.

In the empty room, there was only the girl sleeping quietly and a neat pile of paper cranes in the corner.

Ichinose Honami had started folding them a few days ago, when she learned Kitagawa Ryo was going abroad. She planned to give them to him on the day she said goodbye.

So far, she had folded... six hundred and ninety-eight.

Early the next morning, Kitagawa Ryo felt much better than he had the day before. He still remembered the birthday wish Ichinose Honami had made the previous night, and the thought of being discharged tomorrow—on Honami's birthday—suddenly occurred to him.