Classroom of the Elite, I Have a Life Simulator

Chapter 33: Monologue of Kitagawa Ryo

I want to see Ichinose Honami.

Although I have lost the memories of my past, ever since I heard this name in a dream about a 'little sister', this sentiment has been buried deep within my heart.

She is someone important to me; she is my true 'little sister'.

Every night since then, I have tried to find her in the world of dreams. I believe she dreams, and that she dreams of beautiful, lovely things radiating rainbow light, because the privilege of having beautiful dreams belongs to the best-behaved children.

For the first time, I completely let go of my consciousness and thoughts, broadcasting my signal outward. I was certain she was somewhere in Tokyo.

The resident population of Tokyo is around 13 million, and every night, those who fall asleep dream, whether consciously or unconsciously.

The distance between reality and the dream world is like that between the sky and the ocean—gazing at each other from afar, reflecting one another, yet never touching.

But for an individual like me, I can freely enter the ocean of dreams; this is my innate ability.

I stood on the horizon where the sea meets the sky, dipping a finger into this sea of dreams.

Just as the scent of blood attracts sharks, a school of tapestry-like, blood-red fish instantly surrounded my finger. I could feel them gnawing at my cold fingertip. I shook my finger to shake them off; they were not the dream I was looking for.

I tucked this piece of white bone back into my pocket and continued searching for the dream belonging to Ichinose Honami.

The waves surging from beneath my feet were like the most corrosive acid, gradually annihilating my physical body. Thirty minutes later, I was nothing but a skeleton, yet this skeleton continued to walk, step by step, searching.

I could feel my individual consciousness being battered again and again by the dreams of others, to the point where sometimes I had to stop for a long while just to remember my own name and what I was supposed to be doing.

Shattered nightmares turned into black snow falling across the sky, staining my shoulders piece by piece, gradually dyeing me in a gradient of black and white.

More and more dreams... were drawing near.

Or rather, they were rushing toward me.

Like seeing a bonfire in the freezing winter, dreams from all directions—above and below, dense and overwhelming—surged toward me.

The figure of Kitagawa Ryo was buried and vanished amidst the flying black snow and the overwhelming, monstrous waves.

When I woke up the next day, I found that a portion of my memory was missing, and at the same time, my brain sent constant, painful signals of discomfort. When I first opened my eyes, my vision was almost entirely black. I ran into the bathroom and touched my face repeatedly in the mirror, telling myself that I was Kitagawa Ryo.

But on the second night, I still did not give up on searching for her.

Since all the memories from my three years in the White Room were the result of deliberate deception, there was nothing to regret in discarding them all.

One day, two days, three days.

My amnesia became increasingly apparent, and the instructors seemed to notice my abnormality. As usual, they hoped my 'little sister' could rekindle my fighting spirit.

After all, for the past three years, I had been a pathetic existence who lived only for her.

"Brother..."

The girl with silver-white hair lay lazily on the bed, opening her arms to me. She was accustomed to giving Kitagawa Ryo a little affection, whether real or fake, and he would gently lie at her feet like a dog.

"I heard your performance in the recent tests hasn't been very good."

She turned off the pale ceiling light and switched on the orange desk lamp. The warm light enveloped the two of us; in this enclosed White Room, this place seemed to be the heart of the world.

I ignored her. I only wanted to enter the dream quickly. The second hand of the clock ticked away. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, but suddenly felt a cold hand grab my right hand.

"I'm here. Don't be afraid, it's alright. No matter how poorly you perform, Brother, I will always be with you."

She was very skilled at pouring these sweet nothings into Kitagawa Ryo's ears like lukewarm syrup, waiting for him to surrender to her.

But for the first time, Kitagawa Ryo ignored these words. He really just fell quietly asleep.

Sakayanagi Arisu felt unease for the first time.

About half a year later, I finally found Ichinose Honami's dream. Although I had already lost about a third of my memories by then, I knew this was my brain's self-protection mechanism; otherwise, the tens of thousands of dreams I had recklessly touched over the past six months would have been enough to completely erase my individual consciousness.

However, I still felt it was worth it.

Because I had finally seen her.

"Hmm, where is this?"

Ichinose Honami in the dream did not seem to fully understand the situation yet, but soon she saw me.

"Ryo! Is that you, Ryo?"

She rushed over in surprise and hugged me. The lively and cheerful Ichinose Honami was, just as I had imagined, a beautiful and lovely girl.

"This must be a dream."

Ichinose Honami murmured in my embrace:

"But this is the first time I've dreamed of you since you moved away."

She must have longed for such a reunion countless times. Ichinose Honami called my name against my chest.

"Ryo."

"Yeah."

I felt strange. She didn't call me 'Brother'; she had always called me by my name.

"Ryo."

"I'm here."

Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson, and she broke into a smile—a smile that made my heart flutter uncontrollably.

From that day on, I met Ichinose Honami in my dreams every single night.

She would chatter on about everything happening around her, from the vibrant green budding on the willow branches downstairs in spring to the fireworks blooming in the summer sky. In autumn, the sycamore leaves in the park would drift down like rain, and in winter, she would spend long moments staring at the strange, varied bird tracks left in the snow.

She told me about her mother and her younger sister. In these dreams, Ichinose Honami seemed to fear nothing at all. After all, this was her own dreamscape; everyone has the right to sleep soundly and dream, and I simply played the role of the perfect listener.

In a sense, both Ichinose Honami and I were beings who had lost our freedom in reality. Perhaps it was only in these undisturbed dreams that we could cautiously construct a happiness that belonged to the two of us alone.

As the days turned into weeks, my signs of amnesia showed no improvement, yet I still clung tightly to these memories shared with Ichinose Honami, locking them away in the deepest recesses of my consciousness as my most precious treasures.

"Actually, when that classmate in my class confessed to me back then..."

Ichinose Honami was recounting the scene of her first confession from a peer. I had seen it before in the 'younger sister's' dream, and I even knew that she had written a reply in my name, setting conditions for them to start dating.

"I knew right then that the letter hadn't been sent by Ryo."

Ichinose Honami suddenly said this, smiling with a sense of nostalgia. That smile naturally drew all of my attention.

"Because long before that, Ryo had already confessed to me."

A scene I hadn't been able to see suddenly pierced through my mind.

One day, somewhere, there really was a scene where I had confessed to someone.

How much time had passed? After four years, I finally recalled all the memories from before I was ten. Ichinose Honami pulled me into her arms—an embrace that was incredibly gentle, yet one I couldn't bear to let go of:

"Could you please confess to me again, Ryo? Even if it's just in a dream?"

["Honami."

Realizing I was about to leave with the people who had adopted me, I snuck back to our old house on my final day.

Back then, I perhaps didn't fully understand what kind of emotion 'liking' someone was, but the moment I thought about leaving Ichinose Honami, with whom I had spent every waking moment, an uncontrollable surge of sadness and grief flooded my heart. It had taken me a week to accept the reality that my parents had passed away, but now I was immediately facing the reality of being separated from her.

"Hm? You're back, Brother?"

Ichinose Honami didn't know the situation yet; she must have just assumed that the week I had disappeared was some sort of trip or outing.

She looked at me with pleasant surprise as I ran up to her.

"Actually, it's like this—I..."

My body felt stiff, as if bound by invisible cords. The embarrassment was far more intense than I had imagined. Being just a child, I desperately tried to recall scenes I had seen on television.

"I... I'm leaving soon."

"Eh?"

Ichinose Honami let out a puzzled, soft sound.

"This is the address of my new home. You can send letters to me, Honami."

I wrote down the address I had heard at the hospital—the one belonging to the people who had adopted me—and handed the paper to her.

"And... also."

Before I could even say it, tears welled up and spilled over. Ichinose Honami just stared blankly at me as I began to cry. A child's tears are contagious, so she began to cry along with me.

"I like you, Honami!"

"That's what I wanted to tell you."

In the end, I managed to say those words.

Until later, when the radiance of the White Room covered all my remaining memories, or rather, as if to negate them entirely, blowing them all away like dust.]

[Having retrieved all my past memories and feelings—no, even if I had forgotten them, I would still have found you again, and fallen in love with you all over again.]

I nodded at her. Perhaps this confession in the dream was even more perfunctory than the last, but fortunately, it was a dream.

My consciousness began to command this dreamscape. Although it placed a tremendous mental strain on me, I acted firmly according to my own will.

Kitagawa Ryo reached out his hand toward her. Like a transformation sequence in a tokusatsu show, white light began to flow from the hand he extended. It started with a pristine white glove, and black trim embroidered with elegant bamboo leaf patterns snaked up his sleeves and across his torso, until a crisp, immaculate suit covered his entire body.

With his feet as the center, a vibrant red carpet unfurled all the way to the edge of the dream. The sky above was filled with brilliant stars, and grand fireworks bloomed like flowers directly over their heads.

"I love you."

He kissed Ichinose Honami on the forehead. White light flowed from her forehead across her body, forming a white wedding dress. The pure white skirt was tailored into countless folds, with a layer of light tulle draped over it like a thin mist. The uneven lace trim on the cuffs added a touch of delicate beauty, and white roses were spiraled along the vines decorating her shoulders. The perfectly tailored dress and the voluminous skirt made her look like a princess from the clouds—elegant and magnificent.

"Yes, the one I love is Ryo. Not the kind of love between family, but the love for a man."

"This is my reply, four years late."

Ichinose Honami answered him this way.

From that point on, after the age of ten, she would no longer call Kitagawa Ryo 'Brother'. She would call him Ryo, just as he called her Honami.

Black and white pieces were commanded by the player on the chessboard, locked in a fierce struggle.

Sakayanagi Arisu gripped a piece tightly in her hand, biting her bloodless lips until they were white. Without her even realizing it, her knees were trembling slightly.

She wanted to close her eyes and escape, but the clock kept ticking, urging her onward.

She wanted to stand up and flee, but her entire body felt as if it had been firmly nailed to the spot.

The pure white room gradually dissolved like a dream, crumbling away in a patter like white snowflakes falling onto a scorching red furnace.

The boy, who had kept his head bowed until now, quietly lifted his face, his eyes revealed from beneath his slightly long bangs. That pair of pitch-black pupils—neither smiling nor angry, devoid of any discernible emotion—captured her.

"Check."

His fingertips pushed the black piece, advancing it for the final move against Sakayanagi Arisu:

The sweetness and purity painted over the pitch-black memories were wantonly torn apart; Kitagawa Ryo had won the seventh match against his opponent.

It was less of a match and more of a crushing, one-sided slaughter.

The incandescent light on the ceiling was like a shimmering yet fleeting star.

The boundary line on the chessboard seemed to waver, its limits blurred and indistinct.

Everything before her eyes felt as if it were separated by a thick film, and the surrounding sounds could no longer be heard clearly.

Something surged up from her chest, making her heart feel incredibly stifled, a lump caught in her throat that left her unable to speak.

"Well then, game over."

Absurdity sang loudly; the truth, once the hypocrisy was pierced, was often even more cruel.

Kitagawa Ryo stood up, looking down at Sakayanagi Arisu from above for the very first time:

"My fake... little sister."

"Target has jumped out the window and escaped! Correction, target has jumped out the window and escaped!"

Kitagawa Ryo, who had jumped from the second floor while holding Ichinose Honami, landed on his back first. Fortunately, he had chosen the lawn as a landing spot in advance, so his bones seemed to be intact. He scrambled up from the ground, grabbed Ichinose Honami's hand, and continued to sprint toward the crowded streets.

"Hey, hey, Sakayanagi, where is your support?"

The girl's cold tone came through the earpiece, though at this very moment, it seemed to betray a sense of annoyance, as if she had just woken from a slumber: