Turn Your Face Away

"I've met ignorant people, but I've never met anyone as ignorant as you!" The Green Robe Old Man was so furious he was about to go insane. "The Ghost Nurturing Jar itself isn't some powerful magic treasure. The powerful one is me! Do you know how much I've seen and learned over these tens of thousands of years? Twenty thousand years ago, I was already a treasure everyone fought over. You, you, you..."

"Wait, Green Haired Old Ghost, what did you say? Tens of thousands of years?"

"That's right. It's been tens of thousands of years since the first master refined me. Do you know how powerful I am now?"

"Really?" Wei Suo tapped the paintings of beautiful women hanging by his bed. "Green Haired Old Ghost, tell me quickly, were the beauties of your time as beautiful as this one? What were your dual cultivation techniques like back then?"

"Are you an idiot!" The Green Robe Old Man finally lost it completely. "Do you know what's most important in the cultivation world? Experience! I've served so many masters, think of all the experience I have! You... you..."

"Right!" Wei Suo's eyes suddenly lit up with golden light. "Green Haired Old Ghost, that means you must know a lot of cultivation techniques. Tell me a few. I don't need anything too powerful, I probably wouldn't be able to learn it anyway. Just something a little better than the Heavenly Dao Sect's Heavenly Dao True Understanding would be enough."

"This... I don't know any cultivation techniques," the Green Robe Old Man was stunned. "I can't cultivate them myself, and you can't tell how someone cultivates just by looking at them. How would I know?"

"You don't even know cultivation techniques, and you still have the nerve to say experience is the most important thing in the cultivation world?"

"I know many methods for alchemy and refining talismans and magic treasures!" The Green Robe Old Man was on the verge of tears.

"Really?" Wei Suo's eyes once again flashed with golden light. After all, alchemy and artifact refining were secrets of the major sects. In all of Lingyue City, there were only a few alchemists and artifact refiners. If this Green Robe Old Man truly knew many pill recipes and artifact refining methods, he would be incredibly fortunate this time.

"Give me a recipe, just one, so I can see if you're really that amazing." Having been swindled out of thirteen low-grade spirit stones by that hick, Wei Suo was so poor he was considering selling his underwear. He immediately said with eyes full of golden light.

Once I give him a recipe, won't he obediently beg me for whatever I want to drink? The Green Robe Old Man gritted his teeth and thought. He figured that with the intelligence of the person in front of him, he wouldn't be able to understand anything too complex or profound. So, the Green Robe Old Man searched his mind and found the simplest recipe. "Qi Replenishing Powder. Dewdrop Grass, Three Nights Flower, Fire Chrysanthemum Root. Three parts, three parts, four parts. It's very easy to refine with this ratio."

"Green Haired Old Ghost, how long have you been stuck in this broken jar?"

"What? Ever since this Ghost Nurturing Jar was broken by my fifty-sixth master, I haven't been out. If you hadn't just broken the sealing runes, and hadn't damaged the spirit-providing formation, I wouldn't be able to get out today. Let me think... it must be at least one or two thousand years?"

"I'm sorry, but if I remember correctly, Three Nights Flower went extinct three thousand years ago," Wei Suo said expressionlessly.

"No way? Then I'll change it. First-Order Fireball Talisman. Silver Candle Grass, Fire Tail Flower, crushed to make talisman paper, drawn with Fire Scorpion Blood. The runes are like this..."

"As for the runes, I don't think that's necessary," Wei Suo started unbuckling his pants again.

"What are you doing?" The Green Robe Old Man was greatly alarmed. "Have these ingredients also gone extinct?"

"You dead Green Haired Old Ghost, you're deliberately trying to trick me into giving you Fire Scorpion Blood to drink, aren't you? You think drinking it will restore your vitality and allow you to deal with me? Do you really think I'm an idiot? If you're going to trick me, at least make up a better story!"

"What are you talking about? While Silver Candle Grass might be a bit rare, this talisman formula is absolutely fine. Back then, my master discovered that Fire Scorpion Blood could nourish me when he was refining this talisman."

"Keep acting, keep acting," Wei Suo said with a cold smile, looking at the Green Robe Old Man. "Please turn your face away."

The Green Robe Old Man was very confused. "Turn my face?"

"Yeah, I just peed, and you're too ugly to look at. Looking at your face makes it hard to pee."

"..." If he could hang himself, the Green Robe Old Man would have done so long ago. "What exactly do you mean? Even if you're going to pee on me, at least let me understand why I'm being peed on!"

"Fine, I'll let you understand why you're being peed on." Wei Suo looked at the Green Robe Old Man with the gaze one reserves for an idiot and suddenly pushed open the window.

Outside, after the heavy rain, the air was fresh. On the distant rooftops, a few stray cats ran by, and countless silver wild grasses rustled in the wind.

"You say Silver Candle Grass is very rare?" Wei Suo said, carrying a stool and looking at the Green Robe Old Man. "Green Haired Old Ghost, your acting skills are pretty good. You learned from that hick you tricked today, didn't you?"

"No way?" The Green Robe Old Man's mouth dropped open wide enough to fit an egg. The wild grass growing in the cracks of the rooftop stones, with stems as thick as small clubs, was unmistakably Silver Candle Grass!

"Old ghost, of the three things you mentioned, only Fire Scorpion is slightly difficult. The other two are everywhere. If these three things can be used to refine a fire talisman, then I can hatch a hen from a duck egg! Be straightforward, turn your face away."

"I understand! Hahahaha!"

The Green Robe Old Man stared blankly for a moment, then suddenly burst into ecstatic laughter.

"Did peeing on your head make you go crazy?" Wei Suo was a bit dumbfounded.

"I can't help but be amazing now!" The Green Robe Old Man puffed out his chest. "I understand! Three Nights Flower went extinct three thousand years ago, and Silver Candle Grass was scarce ten thousand years ago but is abundant now because so much time has passed, and everything has changed! In ancient times, cultivators relied on Heaven and Earth Spiritual Meridians to cultivate, but later cultivators mostly relied on spiritual herbs and demonic cores. The pill recipes I got from a small sect back then weren't very useful because Silver Candle Grass and Fire Tail Flower were very rare. But now, these two ingredients have grown everywhere."

"Green Haired Old Ghost, are you still pretending? You mean to say your talisman formula is still real?"

"Of course it's real! It can be said that in the darkness, my lowest-grade magic treasure, this useless thing, has by chance ushered in the most glorious era! I will definitely be recorded in history, becoming a legend in the cultivation world! Damn it! You!" The Green Robe Old Man raised his hands to the sky, incredibly passionate and heroic, but before he could finish, a stream of urine poured down on him.

"I really can't stand it," Wei Suo shook his head, buckling his belt.

"Big brother, what exactly do I need to do for you to believe me?" The Green Robe Old Man was completely speechless. "The talisman formula I told you is really real. If you don't believe me, you can try it. If what I said is false, then throw me into a cesspit and let me soak for ten thousand years."