The light in Kushida Kikyo's eyes dimmed, and her heart slowly sank into a dark abyss. For the first time, she'd found someone to confide in. For the first time, she'd met a friend who understood her feelings. Why? Why had he rejected her?
The pain she'd suffered in the past surged back like a tide. She thought of all those nights she'd faced her fears alone, and the scars hidden deep in her heart seemed to tear open again. She parted her lips, but didn't know where to begin.
She'd been afraid of being disappointed again. Afraid that trusting someone would only bring endless hurt. It had taken all her courage just to open up. Tears welled in her eyes as she fought to hold them back, but after a long while, they trickled down anyway.
"Hey, Kagami, what am I supposed to do?" she sobbed.
"I thought I could keep pretending forever... Live like a normal person. But every time the night grows quiet, that helplessness devours me."
Kushida's voice trembled faintly. She'd been hoping Nagami would gently take her hand and share his warmth. Hoping he'd softly comfort her and say, "It'll be okay. I'm right here."
In the end, he still couldn't take my side?
Warmth spread through her body from her back. She took a deep breath and looked up in confusion.
"Kagami?"
Ignoring the stares around them, Nagami pulled the petite Kushida into his arms.
"You should just go to school like normal. If a classmate takes a day off, then they take a day off. What's so bad about going by yourself? One-on-one lessons with a teacher cost a fortune at cram school. I like working up a sweat alone at the gym, with nobody bothering me."
"That's what you're focusing on?!"
Kushida gave Nagami a look of disgust and wriggled, trying to break free.
On the surface, Kushida had finally been unable to endure the darkness of human nature and had dragged the entire class down with her in a self-destructive act. But at its root, it had been a classmate's actions that lit the fuse. Everyone's gentle, kind-hearted angel, Kushida, had buckled under the pressure and become a fallen angel.
If Kushida wanted to wean her children, she should have done it gradually. Who could handle being weaned all at once? Besides, Kushida wasn't her classmates' mother. She had no duty or responsibility to do that.
"Let me think. Little Kikyo was definitely in a bad place emotionally back then."
"But none of her classmates noticed that anything was wrong with her. They kept treating her like an emotional trash can."
"Honestly, the selfish ones were the classmates who did those awful things. Even if this went to court, little Kikyo wouldn't be at fault. She kept their secrets seriously from beginning to end. Little Kikyo really is a hard-working girl."
There was no question that neither the self-destructive act nor the wrongdoing had been Kushida's doing. What did it have to do with her?
At that moment, Kushida felt the tightly shut door in her heart slowly crack open. A ray of light shone through.
That's right. I wasn't wrong at any point. I've always believed that. Today, someone finally understood me.
Kushida's hand unconsciously tightened around him. Maybe she really could slowly climb out of this dark abyss.
Coming forward to expose this has nothing to do with little Kikyo, right? If anyone's to blame, it's the classmate who wanted to drag the entire class down with them.
The stares around them pricked at her, full of envy and jealousy. Now and then, she could hear people cursing the happy couples.
"May all you lovebirds blow up!" and things like that.
"Little Kikyo, let go. There are a lot of people here on the field."
"Why didn't you think of that when you hugged me?"
Kushida shot Nagami a resentful look, an idea for revenge forming in her mind.
"Holy crap, that hurts! What are you doing? Ow!"
Kushida sank her teeth into Nagami's chest, hard. The bite marks and saliva were clearly visible on his shirt.
"This is your reward from me. Next time you take advantage of me, you'll get more than a bite."
"Ah, sorry, sorry."
Nagami apologized awkwardly.
"Are you still going to the Student Council? It's been quite a while."
"Ah! It's this late? I'm screwed. Bye, little Kikyo."
Kushida waved goodbye and watched Nagami's figure grow smaller and smaller. An odd feeling stirred inside her, reminding her of the first time she'd started elementary school, when her parents had walked her there.
She didn't know how long she stood there, gazing at the spot where Nagami had disappeared. The memory grew clearer and clearer. Back then, she'd clutched her backpack straps, staring fixedly at her parents' retreating figures. She'd been so little, so scared, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, as if she'd been standing on a frozen wasteland.
"Is this what family feels like?"
She took a deep breath, trying to drive away the helplessness. But the loneliness clung to her like a shadow.
Just then, a stray cat came running over and sniffed around her feet. Kushida crouched down and gently stroked its head. The cat's warm body and affectionate nuzzle made her heart feel a little warmer.
"Kagami, you really are guilty of a terrible crime."
Her instinct as a social butterfly seemed to remind her that feelings only made people blind and left them hurt. She'd long since lost faith in human nature and made up her mind.
But wasn't that what love was like? It was unpredictable, like the wind—arriving quietly and impossible to grasp.
Perhaps, on some ordinary day, your eyes met a stranger's on the bus, and your heartbeat went haywire. The feeling was like the warm spring sun spilling into your heart: startling, yet impossible to resist.
Maybe growing up meant going through one goodbye and lonely moment after another. Just as a cat was keeping her company now, someone or something would always enter your life and bring you comfort.
Kushida stood up, brushed the dust off her clothes, and wore a resolute expression. The helplessness that had once troubled her gradually fell behind.
Kushida had completely forgotten that she'd come here to test whether Horikita knew what had happened in middle school. Now, there was something more important in her heart.
Nagami seemed to have forgotten why he'd come to the field today. When he couldn't remember right away, he simply put it out of his mind.
After seeing so many people show off their affection, Nagami would probably get a lot fewer love letters from now on. Given Kushida's popularity, the news would spread throughout the entire year soon enough.
Sigh, what a hassle.
"Nagami, you're late. I haven't retired yet, but you're already acting like I don't matter?"
"Sorry, President. Something came up on the way and held me up."
"That's unusual, President. There must be a reason Kagami is late."
Ichinose chimed in.
Thanks, Honami.
"Enough chatter. Let's get to work."
"Honami, how's your class doing with the questions? Can you give me a hint?"
"We just started. Let's talk after we finish up, Kagami."
All right, time to start working for free.
Before you continue