Assassination Classroom: Oops, I Became the Stand-In!
Chapter 29

You Two Make a Pretty Good Team

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Mikage Touji pinched his throat and gave an expressive imitation of the cutesy, adorable-girl voice from an anime. Horikita Suzune responded with a freezing glare.

"Which do you prefer: regretting it while suffering, or regretting it while despairing?" Horikita Suzune asked, enunciating each word.

"Unfortunately, I'm the type who likes to keep moving forward while laughing at other people's suffering." Mikage Touji ate the strawberry on top of his cake in one bite. "So, have you decided what you're going to say?"

The only sound at the table was Mikage Touji stirring his coffee.

After a while, Horikita Suzune lowered her head and said, "I haven't decided, actually."

"Then why did you send him so many messages earlier? Or did you send them because you knew he wouldn't respond? You haven't even decided how you want to face him?"

The three questions, fired off one after another, seemed to hit Horikita Suzune right where it hurt.

She retorted coldly, "Don't meddle. This is my business, and you don't need to worry about it!"

"I really don't want to get involved in whatever strange relationship the two of you have." Mikage Touji held out his hand to Horikita Suzune. "But could you hurry up and give me back my phone?"

Looking at the hand he held out, Horikita Suzune's face turned through shades of blue and purple. At last, she gritted her teeth.

"Here!"

She slapped the phone into Mikage Touji's palm, tossed her long hair, stood up, and headed straight out of the café.

Faced with the older brother she admired, who hadn't spoken to her in ages, Horikita Suzune hadn't said a single word. She'd simply made a clean getaway.

"Remember to pay the bill," Mikage Touji reminded her.

"I'll do what I promised." Her cool voice came from up ahead.

Having cast off her own cowardice, Horikita Suzune had returned to her usual state of picking fights with the world.

Sure enough, once she abandoned her cowardly side, Horikita Suzune was invincible.

"Hello~ Senior Horikita?"

The very next second after Horikita Suzune had made her graceful strategic retreat, she swung around and came clattering back to her seat in her little leather shoes.

"I've taken care of it. Are you hurt? Wasn't that your doing? You should know better than anyone."

Seeing that Mikage Touji hadn't noticed her return, Horikita Suzune couldn't help edging closer, trying to hear what her brother was saying.

"It's no problem. After all, I got five hundred thousand from you."

Five hundred thousand? Wasn't it two hundred thousand? What a damn swindler!

Horikita Suzune clenched her fist, murderous intent bursting from her eyes.

"Your sister?"

Horikita Suzune's ears perked up.

"She left. She was about to message you earlier, but I said a couple of things and she made a very graceful escape." Mikage Touji mocked her without mercy.

Horikita Suzune gritted her teeth so hard they creaked. Never in her life had she wanted to kill someone so badly.

Not because of society's expectations or morality—she simply wanted to kill him!

"You said a couple of things to her? Well, that can't be helped. She's probably already—"

Horikita Suzune grabbed Mikage Touji's wrist and forcibly turned his gaze toward her. Her eyes, cold as the ice of the far north, pierced straight through him.

Mikage Touji blinked at Horikita Suzune, who had suddenly returned.

Why are you still here?

Give it to me!

No. You only get one chance.

Mikage Touji turned his attention back to the call. "Anything from Senior Nagumo? I haven't heard much lately."

The clock in the café ticked on. Horikita Suzune watched Mikage Touji chat and laugh with her brother, growing more and more restless. The chance to talk properly with her brother... she'd only had this one in three years...

"Mm, all right. I understand. That's it, then. I'll—"

In an instant, Horikita Suzune forced Mikage Touji's wrist toward her ear and shouted into the phone, "No, Brother, I still—"

Horikita Suzune froze as her emotions suddenly erupted.

The voice coming through the phone wasn't Horikita Manabu's, nor was it the busy signal of a disconnected call.

She took a deep breath, then pried Mikage Touji's fingers open one by one with a dark expression. She lit up the screen, revealing the phone's standby display.

There hadn't been a call with her brother at all! He'd been messing with her from beginning to end!

A cloud of blackness seemed to rise from Horikita Suzune's body, sweeping through the entire café. Even the flowers nearby withered in its wake.

Horikita Suzune gripped Mikage Touji's wrist and edged closer to him, inch by inch.

She was going to make him regret everything he'd done, in pain and despair!

"Hey, is something wrong?"

Horikita Manabu's calm voice came from the phone's speaker.

Horikita Suzune's rage lasted a mere 0.1 seconds before she let go of Mikage Touji's wrist in a panic.

Mikage Touji, who had actually called him, winked at Horikita Suzune. Suppressing a laugh, he raised his phone and turned on the speaker. "Your sister seems to want to talk to you. What do you think? Want to explain yourself about what happened before?"

While Horikita Suzune waited anxiously, the person on the other end seemed to think for a long time. "Could you hand the phone to her, please..."

Mikage Touji smiled and handed the phone back to Horikita Suzune.

"Do you want it or not?"

Horikita Suzune took Mikage Touji's phone, her expression impossibly complicated. An emotion she couldn't describe welled up inside her.

Before Horikita Suzune could say anything, Mikage Touji had already picked up his fork and gone back to the remaining strawberry cake.

Horikita Suzune returned to the seat where she'd first been sitting and took a long moment to gather herself.

"Brother, it's me..."

You two sure picked up right where you left off

Five minutes later.

Mikage Touji propped his cheek on one hand and glanced sideways. Horikita Suzune sat beside him, staring blankly at the now-dark screen.

"After all that, you only said a few words, then managed to squeeze out a 'thank you' before hanging up. You siblings really are..."

Mikage Touji shook his head, looking as though there was no hope for them.

"I haven't settled things with you about what happened earlier."

Having resolved the family-violence issue, Horikita Suzune had risen to her feet yet again. In the blink of an eye, she grabbed Mikage Touji's wrist once more.

"Hey, come on. I helped you sort out your problem with him. I'm not expecting you to be moved, but you could at least say thank you, couldn't you?"

"I am grateful to you for that."

"Then could you let go of my hand? Being held by a beautiful girl is kind of flattering, but the steadily increasing pain tells me she might be planning to beat me up."

Horikita Suzune didn't budge. With a stern expression, she picked up the fork from the table with her other hand, fixed her cold gaze on Mikage Touji's completely unruffled face, and said:

"So I'm going to settle the score for you tricking me earlier first and send you to the hospital. Then, to show my gratitude, I'll visit you there every day and take care of you until you're discharged."

"..."

Mikage Touji's attempt to break free came to a halt. After a long pause, he finally said, "You really know how to love and hate with a clear line between them."

"Thanks for the compliment."

"Couldn't we call it even? You sorted out your family problem, and I got my five hundred thousand. We can go our separate ways and forget about each other. Why make a scene in public?" Mikage Touji spoke with feeling, like a wandering swordsman about to set off on a long journey.

"Unfortunately, I'm not the type to care what other people think." Having learned the Iron Head Technique and grown extremely confident, Horikita Suzune was currently in full-on tank mode. She reversed her grip on the fork. "Are you ready to go to the hospital, regretting that you tricked me while drowning in pain and despair?"

"Wouldn't this kind of violence be bad for your class?" Mikage Touji tried to make one last stand.

"Don't worry. Our Class D is at zero right now, so our points can't go below zero. If I send you to the hospital and then sincerely apologize, you won't report me to the school. That way, I can even avoid suspension."

"You've got it all figured out, haven't you? You think I won't report you if you apologize sincerely?"

"Yes." Horikita Suzune nodded. "I have complete confidence in my cooking." With that, she raised the fork in her hand. "Finished with your last words? Die, Mikage Tou—"

"Who said I was going to report you to the school?"

Mikage Touji calmly raised his phone and opened the contact page for Horikita Manabu, knocking the overconfident girl back to her senses with one move.

Having been defeated by the same trick three times in a row, Horikita Suzune glared at Mikage Touji in humiliation.

"You... If you're so capable, stop using my brother to threaten me."

"No way. This trick works every time." Mikage Touji, who'd found Horikita Suzune's weak spot, smiled kindly. "Maybe one day our Class A will go up against your Class D in a Special Exam. I might just tell our class leader about your weakness."

"You despicable man!" With no options left, Horikita Suzune reluctantly released Mikage Touji's wrist.

Mikage Touji rubbed his wrist, which had been squeezed until it was red. "This is a school where strength comes first. Isn't it normal for me to use a tactic like that?"

As if she'd finally understood everything Mikage Touji had done, Horikita Suzune's expression shifted. "Someone like you isn't the leader of Class A?"

Though remembering it made her cringe, the guy in front of her had outmaneuvered her psychologically time and time again. He'd probably deliberately let her realize at the infirmary that she was in contact with her brother, too. More importantly, anyone recognized by her brother couldn't be lacking in any respect.

"Unfortunately, I'm not. Our class leader is Katsuragi Kōhei." Mikage Touji spread his hands and said helplessly, "He handles most of Class A's affairs. There isn't much for me to do, so I get to enjoy a pleasant school life."

"..."

Looking at the class leader's teammate, Horikita Suzune thought of the group of oddballs in her own class who'd spent all their points in the first month...

Reluctantly, Horikita Suzune lowered the fork and issued a parting threat. "I'll let you off this time. I'll settle the score during a Special Exam someday. And I will get into Class A."

"That won't do, Horikita." Mikage Touji smiled. "I don't particularly care about the benefits of graduating from Class A, but the people in my class do. So we can't give up our place in Class A. If you come after it, I'll crush you without mercy."

"Just try it!" Horikita Suzune shot back.

"But..." Mikage Touji rubbed his chin and teased, "who's your class leader, anyway? Have you even gotten your act together?"

"..."

That one question left Horikita Suzune speechless.

"Looks like you haven't." Mikage Touji couldn't help laughing. "Horikita, it's not a good look to talk big when you're not even qualified to compete."

"Anyway, I'll beat you."

"...You've got a stubborn mouth."

After finishing the last of her coffee, Horikita Suzune had also gathered her thoughts and was ready to leave.

"Um..."

"Hmm? What is it?"

After hesitating for a moment, Horikita Suzune finally spoke. "Let's add each other as friends."

"...Why are you acting like adding me as a friend is the same as going to war and dying on the battlefield?" Mikage Touji asked gloomily.

"Because I've never had a friend."

Horikita Suzune sounded so utterly matter-of-fact that, for a moment, Mikage Touji almost thought that not making friends was the real norm in this world, and that people who made friends were the weird ones.

"I think I understand why you ended up in Class D, and why Horikita Manabu acts so awkward around you. Turns out you don't have a single friend." Mikage Touji's face twisted into an expression of pain.

"Friends are only necessary for the weak. If you're good enough, you can solve every problem on your own." Horikita Suzune stuck to her view.

"But you couldn't solve the problem between you and your brother on your own, could you?" After adding her as a friend, Mikage Touji put his phone away.

"That was for a reason!"

"Are you as good as your brother? He seems to have a whole lot of friends, doesn't he?"

"..."

Faced with Mikage Touji's devastating question, Horikita Suzune bravely chose to run away once again, leaving behind the threat, "I'll answer that when I've thought of something."

Watching Horikita Suzune flee, Mikage Touji gave a helpless smile.

This girl didn't seem as cold as she looked.

After taking stock of what he'd gained that day, Mikage Touji stretched in his seat and got ready to leave.

Then another figure appeared and sat down across from him.

"..."

Looking at Kushida Kikyou, who wore a sweet smile, Mikage Touji stared blankly for a long moment before finally managing to say:

End of Chapter
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