Lin An's Regret

In March in New York, winter had not yet fully retreated.

Sunlight slanted in through the window, cutting a bright diagonal line across the faded brown sofa in Darnell's living room, bringing with it a negligible amount of warmth.

Lin An, lying at the edge of the light, curled up instinctively, burying his body into a blanket that had been washed until it was pale.

He felt a bit cold; the apartment had heating, but it had shut off two hours ago.

The heating system in this old apartment building only ran for a set period each night, and as for when it turned on or off, it was purely up to the landlord's mood. As for why the heat was on at all, it was merely to satisfy legal requirements, something the landlord did perfunctorily for the neighborhood.

Don't worry about whether the tenants are cold or not; just look at whether the heat is on.

Lin An couldn't stand it. Even though he was still sleepy, he sat up wrapped in the blanket, staring blankly at the old window while listening to the sound of engines and horns outside.

In the world as seen by Lin An, several lines of bullet comments drifted by due to his awakening.

[The sleeping beauty is awake.]

[I thought he was going to sleep until the afternoon. His constitution is weak; back in the day, I slept shirtless in the Northeast at minus twenty degrees.]

[The guy above is bragging without even drafting it.]

[I can smell the stench through the screen. It's too dirty.]

Dirty?

The reminder from the bullet comments made Lin An remember that after he and Darnell had ridden their old bicycles back to his place in the early hours of yesterday, he had been so exhausted that he had simply collapsed on the living room sofa and fallen asleep without changing his clothes or taking a shower.

As a result, Lin An was still wearing a "homeless set" that hadn't been washed in who knows how long. A mixture of blood, sweat, dust, and rust was caked onto it. The look and the smell... tsk, tsk, tsk.

Thinking of this, Lin An sat on the sofa and turned his head to survey his surroundings.

Darnell's living room was very small—so small that a sofa, a twenty-one-inch CRT television, and a folding dining table were enough to fill the space.

The kitchen was on the right. The door was open, and Lin An could see Darnell's broad back and large backside, as well as the unknown little tune he was humming.

On the left were three closed doors; clearly, the bathroom Lin An needed was one of them.

Just then, Lin An's stomach growled, very loudly.

It was loud enough that Darnell, who was rummaging through the refrigerator in the kitchen, stopped what he was doing.

"Did you hear that?"

Darnell poked his head out from behind the refrigerator door, exhaling a puff of white mist.

"I just heard your stomach talking. It was saying, 'Darnell, you have to save me, I need milk and bread?'"

"No, Darnell, I need a shower right now."

Lin An stood up. He glanced back at the sofa; there was now a dark red stain on the old but clean fabric, which was very conspicuous.

This made Lin An despise himself even more.

"Bro, you've been asleep for several... maybe ten hours."

Darnell closed the refrigerator, stood at the kitchen entrance with his hands on his hips, wearing fuzzy slippers on his feet.

"Do you know what time it is? It's two in the afternoon."

"A shower is more important."

"Ok, ok..."

Darnell spread his hands in a helpless gesture.

He made a "please" gesture, pointing toward the three doors on the left.

"The bathroom is over there, the second door on the left. The others are private areas... I have to mention, the water heater in my place is broken."

Lin An didn't focus on the fact that there was no hot water and he would have to take a cold shower in the chilly month of March; instead, he cast his gaze toward Darnell.

In the cold weather, wearing only a white T-shirt, there were no visible wounds on his body.

Yet, Lin An clearly remembered that last night, he had been clawed by the monster a few times, and the latter had even shouted about needing to get a rabies shot.

"Where are your wounds?"

Lin An posed the question.

"My wounds?"

Darnell turned his head to look at his own body.

"No problem. Because I was afraid my mom would see, my wounds healed last night. Not even a scar... ok, I won't hide this from you anymore. I'm actually an angel, just like in the movies..."

He spread his arms, making a "descended from heaven" pose, then immediately hunched over as cold air crept into his clothes.

"It's just that when God sent me to New York, something went wrong and He didn't give me wings... you know what I mean?"

"So, the gunmen who carried out the massacre in the abandoned factory last night—their target was you?"

"No, no, I'm just a Black guy. How could they slaughter so many people just to kill me..."

Lin An looked at Darnell, whose voice was getting lower and lower.

"Alright, alright, they were probably aiming for me. I thought if I ran into the shanty factory area, they would leave... Don't tell my mom, she'll be scared."

"No problem."

"Good bro, I knew you were a good guy."

Lin An did not know how this man named Darnell had managed to get into such trouble.

However, judging by how thick-skinned he was during the brawl with the monster last night, and the fact that his flesh wounds had completely healed after just one night, it was highly probable that Darnell possessed some sort of special ability.

According to Lin An's guesses and the possibilities provided by the live stream comments, those armed men and the monster were likely sent by some small pharmaceutical company to capture test subjects.

"I didn't travel into the X-Men movie universe, did I?"

"Bro, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing, I'm talking to my audience..."

Lin An waved his hand and started walking toward the bathroom, but he quickly turned back.

"Oh, right, here is two hundred bucks, go buy me a set of clothes."

Darnell looked at the stack of green bills in his hand in surprise.

"Bro, your clothes are already shredded like this, where did you hide this money... oh, I almost forgot, you're not an ordinary person like me, you're a wizard who can conjure food out of thin air. Clothes... wait for me a second."

After saying that, Darnell stuffed the money into his pocket, turned around, walked into a room, and came out with a stack of clothes, handing them to Lin An.

"Thank me, man, I already had clothes prepared for you. I bought these from a clothing store run by Chinese people... although it didn't cost two hundred bucks, I'm keeping the rest as a service fee, you're not losing out."

Lin An checked the clothes. This set included a top, pants, a jacket, underwear, and sneakers. Although the quality of the clothes wasn't great, being able to have a change of clothes right away was a very happy thing. He didn't say anything else, took the clothes, and headed to the bathroom.

[I've changed my opinion of this guy a bit, didn't expect him to be so thoughtful, actually preparing clothes for the streamer in advance]

[Bullshit, this guy is taking credit for someone else's work]

[Bro, did you just log on? These clothes were clearly prepared by this guy's mom for the streamer this morning, not bought by this guy going out]

[Where did the streamer get the money?]

[Aiya, why is the camera staying outside the bathroom? I still wanted to see the streamer's body]

There was nothing much to say about the bathing process. Taking a cold shower in New York in March was definitely not an enjoyable experience. When Lin An left wearing his new clothes, his face was deathly pale.

"What the f***, bro, you're actually a white guy, not a good brother from China!?"

Sitting at the dining table, Darnell spread his arms in an exaggerated manner and teased Lin An in a rap-like style.

"Look at your skin tone, white as milk, look at your face, as delicate as porcelain..."

Darnell got more and more into it, simply standing up from his chair, placing one hand over his chest as if performing an opera on stage.

"And look at this face of yours... bro, did you get your race wrong? Are you sure you didn't sneak in from Ireland? Or are you actually some Hollywood star who lost your memory and ended up on the streets of New York?"

As he spoke, he started laughing himself, laughing so hard he doubled over, then plopped back into his chair, the chair legs scraping against the floor with a harsh screech.

The live stream comments were also filled with playful banter.

After the interactions from last night and just now, Lin An had basically adapted to the live stream and the guy's style, so he didn't respond to the teasing and just sat down at the dining table.

Before sitting at the table, Lin An actually didn't hold much expectation for what kind of food Darnell could provide.

First of all, those who know American food culture, know it; and secondly, Darnell's family environment was clearly not wealthy, so naturally, he couldn't afford to buy much food.

However, when Lin An actually sat down, he realized the situation was not quite what he had imagined.

Right in the center was a large box of fried rice, served in those white paper boxes from Chinese takeout restaurants. The fried rice was well-stocked, with the grains of rice mixed with plenty of eggs, peas, diced carrots, and a few thin strips of char siu pork.

Next to the fried rice was a box of General Tso's Chicken, the orange-red sauce coating the crispy fried chicken chunks, sprinkled with a few white sesame seeds.

Beside that were two portions of spring rolls, two in each portion, fried to a golden brown and wrapped in foil at one end for easy handling.

There was also a box of beef with broccoli. The beef slices were cut very thin, and the sauce was a dark brown, thickened and coating the broccoli and meat, looking shiny and oily.

The broccoli was no longer vibrant green, indicating it had been prepared for a while, but in New York in March, this was actually a good thing; the temperature was just right, neither burning his mouth nor cold.

The last box was hot and sour soup, contained in a round plastic bowl with the lid tightly sealed, but one could see the soup inside was dark brown, with shredded tofu, wood ear mushrooms, and egg ribbons floating in it.

Next to the soup box were two pairs of chopsticks, not the disposable ones that come with American fortune cookies, but reusable black plastic chopsticks with golden Chinese characters engraved on them.

Lin An looked at the spread on the table and was stunned for a moment.

Darnell sat opposite him, arms crossed over his chest, wearing an expression that said, "I know what you're thinking."

"Surprise!"

He said, spreading his arms.

"Bro, stop staring, eat up, it won't taste good if it gets cold!"

"Uh-huh."

That was true; Chinese food didn't taste good cold, and since Lin An was extremely hungry, he picked up his chopsticks and buried his head in the food along with Darnell.

Darnell was a chatterbox who loved to talk in his daily life, but during the meal, he didn't say a word, and apart from the sound of chewing, no extra noise was made.

This allowed Lin An to enjoy a full, comfortable meal.

After eating and drinking his fill, Darnell took the initiative to clear the dishes and head into the kitchen. Lin An looked thoughtfully at the former's back as he busied himself in the kitchen, then glanced at the family photo hanging on the living room wall.

There were four people in the photo: two men and two women.

One of them was Darnell, looking younger than he did now, appearing to be only about thirty years old.

He had his arm around a girl who looked only twelve or thirteen, with bronze skin and wavy black hair, resembling someone of mixed Black and Asian heritage; she was also reaching up to hug his waist.

Standing behind the two of them were a yellow-skinned man in his thirties and a Black woman of a similar age.

Lin An looked at the photo, falling into deep thought for a moment.

The live stream comments were also buzzing with discussion, unable to make sense of the situation.

After watching for a while, Lin An couldn't help but ask.

"Darnell, do you have a daughter?"

"What?"

Darnell, who had just finished washing the dishes, walked out looking confused. He followed Lin An's gaze toward the wall.

"That's my little sister."

"What?"

Both Lin An and the live stream were stunned.

"How old was your mother at that time?"

Darnell realized the source of Lin An's confusion and sighed.

"The woman in the photo is my mother. She was in her thirties then, and I was only sixteen. The man behind her is my stepfather; he was from Fujian, China, and he was a good man. He was summoned by God last year... oh, wait, he said he went to see Mazu.

And even though I look fierce, I'm actually only eighteen."

With a face full of stubble, deep forehead wrinkles, drooping eyes, and an entire expression etched with the weary, heavy vicissitudes of someone "tortured by life," you're telling me you're only eighteen?

[So this brother just looks a bit ahead of his time, but he's actually young?]

[2333]

[Bro must have started working while he was still in the womb.]

Lin An didn't know what to say; the development of events was beyond his expectations.

However, generally speaking, this wasn't a major issue, and it incidentally cleared up Lin An's confusion as to why Darnell had such high initial favorability toward him as an Asian. Beyond the help at the abandoned factory, his stepfather had played a part in it too.

After eating and drinking his fill, Darnell took the cover off the fabric sofa, tossed it into the washing machine, and then called for Lin An to get ready to head out.

"Let's go, bro. We're heading out to get some money."

"What kind of money?"

"A good buddy of mine told me that some white folks are going to hold a protest on the commercial street in the next neighborhood. The brothers are planning to go over and 'restock' while the protest is starting, and I'm planning to join in."

Lin An raised an eyebrow. Restocking?

Restocking what?

[Has the zero-dollar shopping started already?]

[This activity has actually always existed in the U.S.; it didn't just start in 2021. The earliest zero-dollar shopping appeared in 1930, during the Great Depression, and it has continued ever since. It's a tradition for the American poor, not an activity exclusive to Black people.]

"Can I join too?"

"Of course, bro. You're my life-saving buddy, so of course you can. Let's go..."

"I have one more question... what if those gunmen from last night haven't given up and are still hunting you? What if we run into them while we're out?

The police have definitely surrounded the abandoned factory by now. If they find out you were a participant and come after you to make an arrest..."

"It's fine."

Darnell possessed the natural optimism inherent to Black people. He stood by the window, one hand on his hip, the other drawing a large circle in the air as if outlining a map of all of New York.

"When they were chasing me last night, they didn't really see my face. The people who were actually chasing me were all killed by you.

Besides, New York is huge and full of people. They want to find a brother like me among all the brothers in New York City? You see what I mean?"

He turned around to face Lin An, his expression as serious as if he were lecturing a grade-schooler.

"And this is Queens, not Manhattan, not Brooklyn. This is the Jamaica Community, and it has its own rules."

He walked to the window, pulled back the curtain, and pointed to the street outside.

"Who lives here? Black people, Latinos, Bangladeshis—they're all poor people, and there are a lot of illegal immigrants. They're all people who couldn't make it elsewhere. It's not easy for the police to find anyone here."

He let go of the curtain, walked back, and plopped down into a chair next to the dining table.

"People here don't like the police because when the police come looking for them, it's either to check their status, hand out tickets, or... well, nothing good ever comes of it.

Also, they don't like strangers. If a few white guys were driving a black SUV around the streets, guess what would happen?"

[They'd die.]

[The neighborhood barriers in New York really do exist; it's been like that from the past until now.]

[White people entering a Black neighborhood? Isn't that just asking for death?]

"And finally, even if they really did find their way to my door, it doesn't matter. The worst that happens is I die."

Darnell's tone was incredibly relaxed.

[It's fine, streamer. The clearance rate for the New York police is exceptionally low. Besides, those gunmen chasing you last night were basically using civilian firearms and didn't even have a single piece of body armor. They definitely don't have any major backing. The New York police will surely go after them first, not you.]

[That's right, I'm a New York cop myself, and that's exactly how they operate.]

[666, I never expected there to be so many talented people in the livestream.]

"Is that so."

A look of regret appeared on Lin An's face.

"If that's the case, doesn't that mean my entertainment is gone?"

[???]

"what? bro, what are you saying?"

"Nothing."

"bro, say that again. What you just said makes me a little scared!"