Assassination Classroom: My Schemes Can't Be This Disgusting!
Chapter 36

Qiuqiu

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Whenever Beihai opened his dorm room door, Qiuqiu would charge at him ferociously, launching a furry missile attack against his legs before wriggling between them and rubbing against his ankles,

Beihai had never owned a cat before and had no idea what to do. Usually, all he did was watch Cat Love TV,

like those tearjerker stories where a kind stranger showed up late at night with a box of kittens so the big dog at the animal hospital wouldn't go hungry, giving it a midnight snack,

They really proved that the cat-abuse section couldn't hold a candle to the cat-love section's ingenuity,

Beihai simply crouched down, picked up the cat's upper body, and lifted gently. The whole cat stretched out,

Beihai's eyes widened in shock. He had no idea cats could do that. Were they made of liquid?

That raised the question: just how far could a cat stretch?

Beihai lifted the cat off the ground, then grabbed it by the scruff with one hand and its tail with the other, pulling it taut,

It was like a spring. How amazing,

Sakura peeked out from behind Beihai and was surprised at first glance. Did cats like this? Wouldn't it hurt the cat?

After stretching the cat for a while, Beihai got bored. He grabbed it by the scruff and handed it straight to Sakura,

Sakura hadn't even had time to react. The cat felt incredibly soft in her arms, and its belly was a little round, as if it had eaten its fill,

"Is it really okay to just hand her over to me, Beihai? I'm afraid I won't take good care of her."

Her small hand reached toward Qiuqiu's belly. It really was bulging. If she fed the cat like this every day, its slim figure would disappear, and it would turn into the sort of cat her grandparents kept: one big furry lump,

"That's right. I'm leaving her to you. Have a little confidence in yourself."

Beihai didn't know how to raise a cat. Most days, he just left it off to the side and made sure there was enough food,

Spending points on cat food was no problem, but cats loved causing trouble. They'd push cups full of water off the table, or stubbornly lick your hand while you were doing homework,

The moment you opened your computer, they'd attack the screen, leave a tiny tooth mark in the top-right corner, and eventually bite the whole screen to pieces,

And then there was doing their business all over the place. That really would make him a full-time scoop-the-poop servant. Weighing up all the downsides, the fact that Beihai hadn't thrown the cat out of the second-floor window to make it the school's senior was already pretty impressive,

"Sakura, I believe you'll become more cheerful with this cat around."

Beihai picked whatever excuse he could come up with, afraid she'd refuse to take the cat. Otherwise, Beihai would be left with the expense and all the headaches,

Sakura had seen Beihai standing off to the side as if inviting her in. Since she didn't know how to refuse, she had almost stepped inside to take a look at his room,

But those words startled her, and she immediately took a small step back. As soon as she realized it, she thought Beihai would surely misunderstand her retreat, and hurriedly tried to explain,

"No, I, um, don't get the wrong idea."

Her hands tightened in her agitation, and the cat in her arms started to panic. But when she remembered that this would be her future servant, she could only grit her teeth and bear it,

If she wanted revenge, she'd have to wait until she became its owner. Then she could cause trouble to her heart's content,

She'd push over water cups, bite pillows, eat his snacks, and wreck his screen!

Beihai could see she was about to launch into all sorts of explanations. That would just waste time, so he cut her off, "You don't have to say anything. I know."

The words worked as expected. Sakura stopped swaying, and her arms loosened around Qiuqiu,

Qiuqiu came back to life and decided to attack with a headbutt, repeatedly thrusting its head upward,

Sakura had no choice but to let go with one hand and hold the cat's head still, stroking it. But she didn't forget her main reason for coming,

"Um, what do you know?"

Sakura wasn't sure. Her mind was already racing. She'd become more and more relaxed after spending time with Beihai,

Maybe he already knew she was an underground idol. What would happen then? Would he look down on her? Would he use it to threaten her?

Would he end it with, "You don't want this getting out, do you?" Then she'd have no choice but to obey and take part in his evil games,

No, no, Sakura, what on earth are you thinking?

It was true that she was an underground idol. Idols like her did more than sing; they also took suggestive photos, which were generally called gravure photos online,

The photo shoots were usually pretty bold. When she was alone, she became even bolder and was willing to try all kinds of daring things,

Like Hitori Gotoh, who had become a singer online, played whatever songs she wanted, and had her own fans,

One thing Sakura had over Hitori was that she didn't hide in a trash can when she went out or talked to people,

She had no time to think it through. She had a secret, and she saw Beihai so often that he might figure it out. What would happen to her then?

She was bound to be disappointed, though, because Beihai was already speaking in riddles,

The main thing was, Beihai had no idea what she was talking about. He'd just made up an excuse,

"What do I know? You don't have to keep guessing. I already understand everything."

After saying that, he patted Airisu Sakura on the shoulder. As soon as he did, Beihai could tell her body had gone stiff. Then she ran off with Qiuqiu in her arms,

All that remained was the cat's wailing. When Beihai turned around, he could only see Sakura's back,

"Looks like this girl, who can't bring herself to say no, has a few secrets. But I'm not interested."

After muttering that, he shut his dorm room door. He had just turned around and set his backpack on the desk when two knocks sounded,

Beihai sensed trouble. Sakura had just left, and given her personality, she wouldn't come back so soon—or be so shameless as to do so,

Considering his circle of acquaintances, there was only one culprit,

Sure enough, when he opened the door, that expressionless face appeared before him,

"Want to come to my room? They're having a celebration over there. For the victory in this exam, I mean."

Even Kiyotaka Kiyotaka could barely keep a straight face as he said it. He didn't quite understand it himself,

"Celebrate? You mean the exam this May? What's there to celebrate? If we're going to do that, shouldn't we celebrate every month?"

Just because Kiyotaka didn't get it didn't mean Beihai did either. Besides, the dorm rooms this school gave its students weren't exactly small, but they weren't as spacious as you might imagine. It would be pretty cramped with that many people in one room,

"Can I skip it?"

"Here are the advanced math problems. I've written out all the solutions. They might come in handy."

End of Chapter
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