My D-Class Reason, Absurd but True

He thought about the reasons he ended up in Class D, and felt that even if he said it out loud, no one would believe him. Even if someone did believe him and used that reason to threaten him, even if the whole school found out, it didn't seem to affect him much.

Tsukishima sighed. "Alright, fine. I know you're faking it, but I don't need to drag this out. You want to know why I'm in Class D, right? I can tell you."

Kushida lifted her head, tears still streaking her face, but a glimmer of light had already flashed in her eyes. "Really?"

Tsukishima nodded. "Really. But whether you believe what I say or not is none of my business. At least I can promise you, what I'm saying is true."

Kushida quickly wiped her tears and nodded.

The anticipation in her eyes gave Tsukishima a bit of a headache.

Deep down, she knew full well that Tsukishima probably wouldn't tell the truth, but this represented a loosening of his attitude!

Let's just hear how you spin it this time. I'll dig out your secrets sooner or later!

Kushida's little devil tail seemed to be wagging.

Tsukishima sighed. "Alright, fine. Do you remember that recording you made last time? I said two reasons. The first one, about burning down the cult, was fake. If you think about it carefully, you'll find a ton of plot holes."

"The second one was partly true. I introduced someone to the interviewer, but that person's identity and actions made the interviewer think I had a screw loose, so he threw me into Class D."

Kushida fumed. "You bastard, isn't that just saying nothing?!"

Damn it! I put on this whole act, and he still won't say anything! How infuriating!

Tsukishima scratched his head. "This matter is really complicated and ridiculous. If you really want to hear it, I can tell you."

"Of course I want to hear it!"

"Alright, you asked for it. First, let me confirm—you know that every student gets interviewed by someone, right?"

Kushida nodded.

"Okay, I introduced a boyfriend to the male interviewer who interviewed me. That boyfriend was my homeroom teacher's husband from middle school, and also my former mother. Then, based on male same-sex... uh, offensive and defensive dynamics, it's divided into receivers and givers."

"This interviewer was the giver, but my transgender mother had a few too many drinks with him, so the interviewer became the receiver. Do you get what I mean?"

"The reason I did this was that before my mother transitioned, my father had an affair with my homeroom teacher. That affair was also the reason my mother transitioned. Although she... he seemed happier after transitioning."

Kushida held up both hands, her CPU running at full speed. "Wait, hold on! I'm thinking!"

It took her a long time to piece the whole thing together. She looked at Tsukishima with a complicated expression. "If this is a story, it's way too ridiculous. If it's true, it's even more ridiculous. People can't... at least they shouldn't..."

Suddenly, Kushida crouched down, clutching her head. "Damn it, this is completely useless! Even if I told this to anyone, who would believe it?!"

Tsukishima glanced around. The area was still empty and quiet, no one in sight. He patted Kushida on the shoulder and sighed. "I didn't think I'd get placed in Class D because of this either. Didn't everyone end up happy?"

"My dad should be getting along fine with my homeroom teacher now. Since I'm not home, it's their little world. As for my mom and that interviewer, they're probably living happily too..."

He started complaining. "At least I set the interviewer up with someone—someone important to me. Why did he throw me into Class D?"

Kushida sighed and stood up. "The interviewer was right. You really do have a screw loose. Who in their right mind would think of setting their own mother up with someone?"

Tsukishima looked at her, puzzled. "But did I have any other choice? This way, everyone's happy. Isn't that good?"

Kushida didn't say anything else. She just walked silently toward the classroom.

Soon, the two of them saw the school building.

A naturally shy and cute expression appeared on Kushida's face. She glanced at Tsukishima from time to time and spoke softly. "Tsukishima-kun, it's settled then. After the midterms, I'll definitely spend some good time with you!"

Tsukishima smiled and nodded, speaking gently. "I'm fine. You focus on your stuff. Come to me if you run into something you can't handle."

As he spoke, he affectionately patted Kushida on the head. Kushida squinted her eyes in enjoyment, then skipped away.

"Damn it! Tsukishima! I challenge you to a duel!"

"Calm down, bro! You're no match for him!"

"Our Kushida has become Tsukishima's exclusive property. Sigh, I knew this day would come, but still... sigh..."

Tsukishima's gaze swept over, and the voices went silent.

Actually, Tsukishima was pretty curious. How exactly was Kushida going to handle their relationship? Would she turn the fake into reality, or find a chance to paint him as a scumbag and break up?

Over the next few days, Kushida was busier than ever. Almost every free moment, she was sending him messages cursing someone out.

[Kushida]: That bastard Yamauchi insists on having a girl from Class B tutor him. How can someone be this shameless!

[Tsukishima]: You can tell the Archangel to arrange a big guy for him. If that doesn't work, talk to Ryuuen and borrow that big black guy from their class for a few days.

[Kushida]: [Rolling eyes] Forget it. Class C is going crazy right now, picking fights with both classes. They even teamed up with Katsuragi from Class A. No idea what they're plotting.

[Tsukishima]: Don't worry about them. Class A doesn't play the frame-up game. They prefer to solve problems within the rules. Maybe they'll use the special nature of this exam to make a move. This school doesn't seem like the type to weed people out just based on exams. Otherwise, even that gorilla Sudo would have a hard time getting in.

[Kushida]: Damn this school. Always pulling this crap. So annoying. That gorilla Sudo is about to slam the table again. So annoying! And that ice queen Horikita Suzune—she's pissed off some students in Class B, and I have to clean up the mess!

[Tsukishima]: Poor kid. [Good luck!]

[Kushida]: You bastard! What gives you the right to hide in your dorm eating desserts and drawing? What gives you the right to drink tea happily at Sweet Words? No way, I'm dragging you into this too!

[Tsukishima]: I'll cover your desserts and black tea for this week. The best black tea.

[Kushida]: That's more like it. Damn! That ice bitch is arguing with someone again. That gorilla is about to flip the table again. And the Class B student was being perfectly polite!

Tsukishima popped the last bite of dessert into his mouth, feeling a genuine surge of happiness.

Happiness—it's all about comparison.

His family situation was a mess, but at least his dad treated him well. Especially after divorcing his mother, he gave him plenty of money to make up for it. At least he never had to worry about finances. That put him way ahead of those cardboard-box hermits on the street or the girls in Okubo Park.

Right now, he was eating sweets and drawing, doing what he loved. Meanwhile, Kushida could only worry about the study group and constantly put out fires. Comparing the two, he was pretty happy.

Kushida-san—she might end up bald one day.