Star Color's Selfish Theory

With his belly full, Star Color lay on his side on the floor, purring contentedly.

Tamiya Emi was washing the dishes in the kitchen. I'd told her I could do it myself, but Classmate Tamiya had insisted on washing them. She really was a good girl. If all the girls in society had personalities like Tamiya's, perhaps Neon's birth rate would skyrocket.

Chewing gum and flipping through manga after a meal—what a pleasant life. Even though summer had already arrived, I still had the bad habit of getting sleepy in spring. Star Color yawned. Adults often said it was fine to get sleepy in spring, but if you still got sleepy in summer, they'd scold and beat you.

After finishing the dishes, Tamiya Emi sat beside Star Color, her lovely eyes brimming with affection. Looking at Star Color curled lazily on the floor, she thought his catlike air of languidness was quite unusual.

Without even realizing it, Tamiya Emi's hand came to rest on Star Color's head. His purple hair was as smooth and glossy as silk, the sort that would make countless girls jealous of his hair alone. He didn't seem like a boy at all.

At first, Star Color seemed a little resistant, but that didn't last two seconds. He obediently leaned his head toward Tamiya Emi, even rubbing against her. He was just like a little animal.

Tamiya Emi suddenly remembered the few pieces of women's clothing in Star Color's wardrobe, and for some inexplicable reason, she felt an urge to see him wearing them.

"Mm, I'm getting a little sleepy."

"Then you should get some rest."

Tamiya Emi reluctantly pulled back the hand that had been able to clearly feel Star Color's body heat, speaking with a hint of regret.

"I'll head home, then. See you tomorrow, Star Color."

"Okay~ See you tomorrow, Classmate Tamiya."

Only after Classmate Tamiya had left and the room had fallen quiet did Star Color slowly sit up.

His eyes were half-lidded as he toyed with the golden dice in his hand.

"Happiness... so this is what it feels like?"

Hope had said, "To immerse yourself in others, whether you want to help them or hinder them, whether out of love or hate, is ultimately a way for people to escape from themselves."

Tamiya Emi, is your presence a source of happiness or misery? I think I'll look forward to finding out.

The school building was empty that early in the morning, save for Star Color. I really had come too early! Though the setting was man-made, the lack of any human presence gave me the uncanny impression of unreality and dissonance. My instincts were making me afraid.

"Like a ghost."

Drifting along the fringes of the living world, this feeling of being invisible wasn't so bad.

Star Color opened the classroom door, thinking he'd have the room to himself. Unfortunately, someone had beaten him to it and was already enjoying the empty classroom.

A strange feeling stirred in Star Color, like the childhood friend he'd secretly loved had been swept off her feet by a stranger. All right, the classroom didn't belong to anyone in particular. Star Color accepted reality. Personally, he preferred enjoying the quiet alone.

"Good morning, Classmate Hashimoto."

They were classmates, after all. Greeting him was basic social etiquette.

"Good morning, Otonashi."

What a flirt. With his blond hair tied into a neat ponytail, he looked like the type who was good at sweet-talking girls. Star Color was rather envious of boys with that sort of personality. They were good at fitting in and could easily come and go between conversations with girls.

Star Color placed his shoulder bag on the desk. It was specially for storing snacks and manga.

Star Color pulled out the manga he hadn't finished reading the day before.

Masayoshi Hashimoto noticed that Otonashi Star Color's seat was absurdly placed between Kohei Katsuragi and Sakayanagi Arisu. It was practically the border between hell's two realms. He'd have his work cut out for him from now on.

Classmate Hashimoto slowly moved closer to Star Color. They maintained a comfortable social distance, but Star Color had the feeling that the blond boy in front of him was up to no good and wanted to drag him into some kind of trouble.

"Otonashi, have you thought about the future of the class?"

"Huh? The future of the class? What do you mean?"

Star Color keenly noticed Classmate Hashimoto watching his reaction. This guy and Classmate Morishita were both no pushovers. Weren't they all high school students? How could they be so different? A student's job was to study hard.

"Well, then, Otonashi, who do you think could become the class leader?"

"Leader? What kind of position is that? Something like class representative?"

Star Color's bright purple eyes held nothing but clear, unblemished light.

"..."

A twinge of guilt suddenly welled up in Hashimoto. He felt like he was doing something terrible. The person in front of him was clearly a boy, yet he was smaller and more delicate than many girls. Sakayanagi Arisu had an air of confidence and composure to support her, but this guy was as innocent as an elementary schooler, wasn't he? What was he doing... luring a child?

"You could put it that way. The class needs someone to lead it, anyway. Otonashi, who do you think has the most potential?"

"Huh? Who do I think? Um... well... let me think."

"Have you ever considered becoming the class leader yourself, Classmate Hashimoto?"

Star Color gave a soft laugh.

"Me? No, no. Someone like me could never be a leader."

Masayoshi Hashimoto shook his head. He knew his place: a minor character who could only attach himself to the strong and assist them. A supporting character like him would be kicked aside as soon as he was no longer useful. That was why he couldn't sincerely trust anyone. Not his parents, not his elders, not even his friends—none of them mattered as much as a benefit he could secure. Betray others before they could betray him. That kind of cunning self-interest was his way of getting by.

Sometimes he couldn't even be sure that his path was the right one. Masayoshi Hashimoto had been lost about it, too...

"Oh... I see. That's too bad."

"Do you think someone who puts his own interests first can become a class leader?"

The words slipped out of Masayoshi Hashimoto's mouth without his realizing it. The moment he noticed he'd said something he couldn't take back, he tried to laugh it off and smooth things over.

"Why not? Putting yourself first and putting others first are both principles people choose to live by. No one has the right to judge anyone else."

Star Color tilted his head and smiled at Masayoshi Hashimoto. Something inside Hashimoto seemed to stir.

"Humans created an unequal world, and people are born into a natural existence from which they can't escape the order imposed by humanity. From the moment we're born, there's the cruelty of parents, the cruelty of teachers, the cruelty of classmates, the cruelty of society. Cruelty is everywhere. It wears away at everyone's thoughts until we're reduced to reeds that merely seem to think. The weak are trampled by the strong, lives are treated as commodities, and humanity slowly grows cold. Isn't all of this the direction in which we're evolving?"

"So selfishness isn't wrong, either. Everyone gets only one chance at life. There's nothing wrong with either filthy desires or lofty ideals. If anything, live for yourself selfishly. Whether you're a villain or a good person, or whether you end up ordinary—don't drown in happiness... no, that's not right... and don't despair of the world, either... just live for yourself. Life is meaningless to begin with, so people! Go search for the meaning of life, and affirm yourselves selfishly!"

"Don't deny the flawed side of yourself. Accept it! Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to be different."

Star Color spread his arms, closed his eyes, and squeezed a little air from his lungs. His faint breath slipped out of his throat so softly it was like a feather, yet it exploded in Masayoshi Hashimoto's mind. He had never been able to trust anyone sincerely, and had survived only through cunning, yet here he was, being affirmed.

Only a god beyond right and wrong could support humanity while embracing its filth and evil. If believers wished to act, the god would surely give them a path. So what if the self that hated its own name wasn't righteous in the eyes of others? Then there was only one answer: Masayoshi Hashimoto would carry through with his own belief, his "own justice."

Masayoshi Hashimoto had always believed that noble people and wicked people weren't really so different. Deep down, he couldn't trust anyone. Trusting someone made him break out in an allergic reaction. But the "selfish betrayal ideology" affirmed by [Otonashi Star Color] had taken root in his heart.

"Then, Classmate Hashimoto, I'd like to ask you: who do you think could become the class leader?"

"It's hard to say, but I think Sakayanagi Arisu has a good chance."

"Oh~ Classmate Sakayanagi, huh? Well, I just hope everyone can have a wonderful high school life."

"Then I don't think that's very likely, because this school isn't as simple as we imagined."

"Oh? Why not?"

"I don't know how to explain it... Otonashi..."

"What is it?"

"Would you like to join Sakayanagi's faction?"

"Huh?... What do you mean?"

"The class leader seems to be Kohei Katsuragi, who's currently taking the initiative to lead everyone, but there's only one person with real leadership ability: Sakayanagi Arisu. And she also has a tremendous advantage. Her father is the chairman of this school's board."

(Honestly, I want to laugh at the original Hashimoto. What a legendary punching bag. I, your big bro Hashimoto, am the real savior of Class A!)

"Huh? Seriously?"

Star Color looked surprised, his small mouth slightly open.

The day before, Masayoshi Hashimoto had seen Sakayanagi Arisu defeat all the upperclassmen at the Chess Club. If she later proved herself more capable than Kohei Katsuragi, he planned to stake [himself as his wager] on Sakayanagi Arisu. As long as he could stay in Class A and graduate from Class A, it wouldn't matter whom he betrayed or whom he destroyed. Filth and unscrupulousness were merely stepping stones to success.

Besides, Star Color had sensed the madness in Masayoshi Hashimoto's heart. It was the scent of a gambler, a scent more familiar to him than any other. Though Hashimoto wasn't yet a frenzied gambler, being devoured by that madness would surely be a delight...

An emotion no one could possibly notice appeared in Star Color's pupils: the purest evil from the abyss.

"I think I'll pass. I'm just an ordinary nobody, so I'll follow the crowd and take it easy. My theory of happiness is to live lazily and enjoy the present."