After making it through the afternoon classes. Learning really was awful. Students didn't affirm themselves through their studies; they denied themselves. Learning didn't make them feel happy, but miserable. They couldn't freely use their physical and intellectual abilities; instead, their bodies were tortured and their minds tormented.
They didn't feel happy while studying. Studying only made them unhappy.
If you felt that way, then you weren't studying of your own free will. You were being forced to study.
A classic concept in sociology and philosophy: alienation, the alienation of the object from the subject.
Star Color could only feel a headache coming on. Before, he had crammed all kinds of strange knowledge into his brain just to survive. Now, when he should have been able to relax, he had to suffer through classes.
The end of the school day was so relaxing for Star Color. He stretched his slender waist. His roomy brown coat was paired with a gray sailor uniform, and underneath it all was a close-fitting, cool silk undershirt.
"Gurgle, gurgle... Gah!"
Kohei Katsuragi glanced over and teased him.
"Don't make noises like a girl. I'm starting to wonder what your gender is."
"Hmph, I'm all man."
Star Color planted his hands on his hips and puffed out his proud chest.
"..."
Kohei Katsuragi didn't know what to say. He was completely unable to get on the same wavelength as this guy.
"Are you reviewing the material, Classmate Katsuragi?"
"Yeah, just going over it again."
"You're really diligent."
"Of course. If I want to be a leader in my class, I have to put in the effort. And studying is important, too. Your education determines your future status. I want to become someone outstanding. At the very least, I have to work hard to achieve that for my little sister's sake."
A hint of envy and a shadowy gloom showed in Star Color's eyes, but Kohei Katsuragi didn't notice.
"Good luck, Classmate Katsuragi..."
Star Color's lips curved in a gentle smile. At least this time, it came from the heart. There was no childlike innocence, no inner bedrock of madness and chaos—only the kindness of a human being.
Kohei Katsuragi stared blankly at the smile on the boy's face. If he hadn't known his gender, it would have been easy to mistake him for a girl.
"That's a pretty nice smile. It suits you."
Kohei Katsuragi didn't know what else to say. After finishing the sentence, he gave an awkward cough.
"See you tomorrow, Classmate Katsuragi."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow."
Star Color slung his bag over his shoulder and spotted Kikyou Kushida waiting at the door. He changed back into his childishly innocent persona and waved.
"Otonashi-kun!"
"Classmate Kushida, sorry to keep you waiting."
"No, no, I just got here."
Kikyou Kushida wore a smile as warm as the morning sun, acting gentle and approachable. Was this what they called a histrionic personality? What an interesting subject of observation.
Humans were a species that lived behind many masks, broadly divided into the "personal" and the "social." The personal self included things like self-awareness—who you were—and self-criticism, things belonging to your inner world. The social self was like a mask.
At school, you put on the mask of a "student." At home, you put on the mask of a child. You spoke and behaved differently with your friends than you did with your mother because you were using different "personas."
"Let's go to Keyaki. There's a nice café there."
"Then I'll leave it up to you, Classmate Kushida."
Like a puppy following its owner, Star Color walked behind Kushida.
Kushida noticed the distance between them and deliberately slowed her pace.
"By the way, Star Color..."
"What is it?"
Star Color tilted his head, giving off the sweet charm unique to someone whose frail cuteness seemed completely unguarded.
Kikyou Kushida swallowed.
Star Color had already realized that Kikyou Kushida was testing him.
"Are you okay?"
Star Color asked with concern, looking up at the girl standing just over a head taller than him.
"I'm fine. I wanted to ask if Otonashi-kun has any friends."
"Not many. I'm the kind of pitiful character girls see and think, 'Wow, our class mascot!' They get close to me for a while, then dump me. And I doubt anyone would choose a girly guy like me for a boyfriend."
Star Color used to care about his appearance. Ever since that incident, he had treasured it all the more...
"Then can I be your friend?"
"Friends?"
"Yeah."
Star Color's face brightened with an innocent smile. As the light fell on them, walking side by side down the corridor gave off an oddly ambiguous feeling.
"Um, we should hurry. Otherwise, there might not be any seats left!"
Kikyou Kushida was the first to break the strange atmosphere.
Star Color simply nodded, the gentle smile at his lips capable of melting anyone. His purple pupils brimmed with emotions too ineffable to notice, while strange, indescribable auroras of the stars swirled within them.
They arrived at the café without a hitch.
"I'm so glad there are still seats."
Kushida sat down and smiled at Star Color. He looked around. This was nothing like the quiet, old-fashioned café he'd imagined. It was a trendy café that sold itself on being popular...
So many people... What a hassle... Why can't everyone just die...
Star Color hated crowded places. They made him irritable. He felt as if countless eyes were watching him, and it made him want to throw up.
Star Color shook his head and pulled out the unfinished copy of Fire Phoenix and Burning Plains.
"Otonashi-kun, what would you like to drink?"
"Um... Anything's fine. I'll have what you're having... I don't really know how to drink coffee..."
Star Color had no idea how to appreciate coffee or tea. He didn't like the taste of coffee at all. It was either too bitter to swallow or sweet with a bitter aftertaste. To him, all that mattered was whether a drink was refreshing and whether he enjoyed it. Regular soda was his favorite. Star Color couldn't understand the refined palates of those highbrow types. If his tongue said something tasted bad, then it tasted bad.
Kikyou Kushida waved over a waiter, who came up to them.
"Two cappuccinos, please."
"Sure."
Kikyou Kushida plopped down beside Star Color.
"Otonashi-kun, what manga are you reading?"
"It's about the Three Kingdoms... A political intrigue manga. It was drawn by a Chinese person... It's really good..."
"Wow, that's amazing."
"Hahaha..."
Star Color bashfully scratched his cheek.
"Do you usually like reading manga, Otonashi-kun?"
"Yeah... I read both manga and novels."
In the noisy surroundings, Star Color's soft voice became a little hard to make out.
"Kushida-chan! You're at the café, too! Great, now I don't have to look for a seat."
The short-haired girl with wheat-colored skin waved at Kushida.
"Uh..."
Star Color looked awkwardly at the two unfamiliar girls in front of him. He wasn't good at socializing with girls, and now he suddenly had to deal with so many of them. There was no way! No way!
"Hey, there's a cute kid here. Is this a new friend you made, Kushida-chan?"
The short-haired girl with wheat-colored skin sat right beside Star Color. She was so close... and now she was leaning toward him...
With two girls beside him, Star Color caught their faint, sweet scent—after all, he was a boy.
His face turned red as he clapped a hand over his crotch.
A brown-haired girl also looked at Star Color with interest.
"Um... I... I'm a boy. Stay away from me."
"Seriously? You're a boy?"
The short-haired girl stared at Star Color in shock, then looked over at Kikyou Kushida. Kikyou Kushida nodded, a little embarrassed.
"A boy? There really are cute boys like that in the world? I don't believe it!"
"Wah, wah, wah... Don't pinch my waist..."
After checking Star Color's bone structure, the girl looked astonished.
"You really are a boy?"
"Haa..."
The blush never faded from Star Color's face. Steam seemed to rise slowly from his head. His soul had flown off to who knew where.
It took the energetic, athletic girl's shaking him around to bring Star Color back to his senses. This girl... She's way too careless around men. Star Color complained furiously to himself.
"Guhhh—"
The brown-haired girl looked at Star Color.
"I can't tell at all that you're a boy. By the way, what class is this kid in?"
"Class A," Kikyou Kushida said.
"Oh, Class A."
The brown-haired girl turned toward Star Color.
"Can I ask your name?"
"Otonashi... Star Color."
After calming his pounding heart, he thought that woman had almost shaken the brains and blood right out of his nose.
"Nice to meet you. Classmate Kushida and I are both from Class D. I'm Mori Nene."
"I'm Onodera Kayano! Nice to meet you, Otonashi-kun."
Star Color just wanted this to be over as soon as possible... Three girls he'd never met were sitting in front of him, and he had no idea what to say.
From a somewhat secluded seat in the café, Tamiya Emi occasionally glanced toward Star Color's table.
Someone else was over on the other side. Satoshi Satonaka watched them coldly.
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