Assassination Classroom: The Cross-Dressing Trickster's Unhinged Mind
Chapter 2

What the Gods Do Not Do, Man Does

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3mo ago

Just as he thought the farce was over, Star Color closed his eyes, intending to take a short rest.

"Um... I think the big sister is right."

?????

Star Color opened his eyes, his purple pupils observing the Tea-Haired Big-Breasted Girl before him.

Inwardly, he thought. How is there still DLC expansion content? Well, I'll keep observing humans. Too much noise and I can't sleep anyway.

"So this time it's a pretty girl? Looks like I'm unexpectedly lucky with the opposite sex today."

This way of speaking, mixing Japanese with broken English, was grating to the ears. It reminded him a bit of how people from Hong Kong in the Huaxia Kingdom talked. But the problem was... this guy with the thick eyebrows and small eyes wasn't from there either.

"From just now, the old lady has been looking really uncomfortable. Could you give up your seat for the elderly? Um, maybe I'm being too nosy, but I think this counts as contributing to society."

Priority seats were designed and officially created after approval, a product recognized by social rules. From the very beginning, this seat was designed with the requirement that "the elderly, infirm, sick, and disabled take priority"—it's written clearly on it. Its purpose of creation is to execute this slogan. The slogan isn't just a simple phrase; it carries social significance. It's more demanding than other slogans, originally a product of social rules. But the sad truth is that whether the rule is enforced really depends on whoever sits there first. In principle, this seat wasn't designed for people like us at all. The big-breasted girl's request really isn't moral coercion.

Maybe she should have started from the priority seat angle, showing off her charm a bit, instead of focusing on the old woman. The key is the meaning of the priority seat—that might move the other person more? At least Star Color felt that if it were him, he could shut the Yellow-Haired Gorilla up completely.

This Tea-Haired Big-Breasted Girl's approach was very strange. First, she threw out the problem. Then she used an apologetic approach, putting herself in a position of weakness, only to reveal her fangs later. It was completely amateur level. Using the old lady as the main point of contention made her argument too hollow. It was easy for the other side to find a counterpoint, see...

Star Color looked at the Yellow-Haired Gorilla, who was leisurely crossing his legs, pretending to snap his fingers to get the big-breasted girl's attention.

"Social contribution? I see, that's a pretty interesting opinion. Giving up your seat to an elder should indeed be part of social contribution. But unfortunately, I'm not interested in social contribution. I think it's enough to satisfy myself. And another thing—in this crowded train, I'm the one sitting in the priority seat and becoming the target of everyone's criticism, but what about the others who sit there looking unconcerned, not saying a word, and just staying in their seats? If you really want to cherish the elderly, then I think whether it's a priority seat or not, it's all just trivial matters."

Shifting the conflict onto all the passengers in the car—that's a somewhat passable tactic. A complete self-centered selfish bastard. Even if the other person's argument is perfect, even if it's an irrefutable point, he'll just put on his earphones and ignore it.

"Everyone, please listen to me for a moment! Is there anyone willing to give up their seat for this old lady? Anyone at all, please."

This stupid woman, she really got led astray by that Yellow-Haired Gorilla's words... When you turned your gaze to the regular seats, you already lost. Completely and utterly crushed.

Suddenly, the Tea-Haired Big-Breasted Girl noticed something. She looked at Star Color, who was closest. A bitter smile appeared on her face.

"Um... excuse me? Could you give up your seat for this old lady who needs it?"

At this moment, Star Color felt helpless. Two opposing sides of his mind were at war, the pro-seat-giving faction and the anti-seat-giving faction holding a trial in his brain.

The old woman didn't seem to have a strong need for the seat. When the OL Lady first stepped in, the old woman had tried to stop her. Maybe she was fragile and sensitive, with a mentality of not wanting to offend anyone in the slightest.

Moreover, the old woman's shoulder bag was full of fresh vegetables, fruits, and meat. Being able to go to the vegetable market during the morning rush hour to buy fresh produce meant her physical strength was definitely stronger than Star Color's frail body. If she really had trouble walking or felt unwell, she could have bought groceries at a nearby convenience store instead of making a big trip far away. During the boarding process, the old woman hadn't shown any signs of physical disability or illness, and the next two bus stops were residential areas...

Star Color's conclusion: The old woman's so-called discomfort was just from carrying that heavy bag of groceries. When she put the bag on the ground, that shaky feeling of discomfort was gone.

Star Color noticed that most of the passengers' gazes were fixed on him...

Many people were looking at him, many people were watching him. His heart was in wild turmoil, inwardly screaming for them not to mind him. So many, many, many, many, many people's gazes. Their eyes wriggled like tongues, licking and lapping at Star Color's body.

Star Color cursed these people viciously. Don't wrap your gazes around me, don't stare at me...

He glared venomously at the Tea-Haired Big-Breasted Girl, the root of all evil. She was the one who aimed the murder weapon called 'gaze' at Star Color's vital points. Everyone was aiming at his breathing, his heartbeat, his tone, his attitude.

Vicious woman, like a poisonous spider. Pointing her fangs at the even weaker Star Color...

His brain pulled at Star Color's self-beating heart, thumping loudly with a [pound pound].

Star Color had only one wish: to bring divine punishment down on this woman. He stood up, pretending to stumble and fall onto the vicious woman's chest.

His nose was blocked by a warm, rusty-smelling flow. His nostrils turned into gun barrels, gushing out onto the vicious woman's clothes in front of him.

[Star Color's Little Classroom: High blood pressure can cause increased intracranial pressure, leading to rupture of blood vessels or mucous membranes in the nasal cavity, resulting in a nosebleed.]

"Hey! Classmate, are you okay?"

Star Color caught the emotion in the girl's pupils...

Liar, the first thing I saw was the clothes. Liar, you actually care about the cleanliness and smell of the clothes, not about me. The truth, in that instant, your eyes hid disgust and murderous intent.

"Sorry... I have a heart condition..."

Weak air escaped from his throat. Like a porcelain doll that could shatter at any moment, unable to bear even a microgram of external force, needing extremely careful handling.

Warm tomato juice flowed down Star Color's face. No child looked more like a freshly fried potato.

Star Color saw through the poisonous woman's tactics. She liked to put herself in a weak position to gain sympathy. So Star Color just needed to pretend to be even weaker. Fight fire with fire. At her level, she definitely couldn't handle this. Just swallow this bitter pill quietly, spider woman.

The old woman's strong, powerful hands pushed Star Color back into his seat.

"Little girl, oh my, really, why are you so frail? Sit back down."

The old woman handed Star Color a handkerchief, then looked at him with full maternal care as he put on his grand performance.

'Did you have a good breakfast?', 'How's your body?', 'Feeling better now?'—these words of concern from an elder were actually quite heartwarming.

Star Color transformed himself into the weaker party in need of care, becoming a small evil. Human positions are fickle. The OL Lady no longer cared about the seat, joining the old woman in fussing over him. The Poison Spider Big-Breasted Girl also awkwardly joined in.

The one apologizing is fake and insincere, the one forgiving is hypocritical and evasive. That's exactly the relationship between Star Color and the Poison Spider Big-Breasted Girl right now.

As Star Color had predicted, the old woman got off at the second stop, but before leaving, she forced a few candies into Star Color's hand.

Orange-red blood flowed out of the bus. They carried their longing for youth, for a new life, for an excellent school.

This stop: Kodo Ikusei University Affiliated High School...

End of Chapter
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