Girlfriend

"Aaaah—I can't take it anymore, Sudo, did you really see someone there?"

Ike let out a wail as he spoke.

"I really did! Really! Trust me, okay! It's all Class C's fault, and they had the nerve to play the victim first—it's infuriating."

"Sudo, do you really think you're completely blameless here?"

Ayanokoji said while sipping his orange juice.

"Of course! Isn't it obvious? They came after me, and I should be asking for mental damages."

Qiuyue: (Ah... here it comes, this line. Whether in the original story or what I saw on the cameras, you hitting people is an unchangeable fact.)

(Mental damages, my ass. You've got a short temper, couldn't hold back, they provoked you and you took the bait—why? Because of that one little scratch on you? The other three have broken bones.)

(So in the end, even if you found witnesses or photos in the original, it was useless. Time was tight, so Ayanokoji used that stupid trick of setting up cameras to trick Class C into dropping the case—if the school caught on, you'd be expelled.)

(Even though in the anime it was Ayanokoji and Horikita, in the novel it might be with Ichinose. But if he doesn't step in himself, that leverage might not even stick.)

(And even if I gave you my video, Class C started it, and you just took the beating passively—hit them that hard—it'd only end with both sides getting punished.)

"What's the point of all this talk? We might as well eat more, play more. Hanging out with just us is so boring—I want to be with Kushida..."

Yamauchi said, shoving snacks into his mouth without a care.

"You... are you fantasizing about my little Kushida? I won't allow it!"

"Huh? Busted?"

"You bastard! Who gave you permission to imagine that! What did you imagine!"

"...You know... look, we're sitting here, and I'm at the far end. It's so spacious down here—if Kushida were in this kind of setting, helping me out down there... heheh..."

"Enough! You bastard! Damn it! I'll imagine something ten times more lewd than you! Heheh... my little Kushida..."

Both of them continued their fantasies.

Qiuyue: (...You two really exceed my expectations for low standards. If Kushida ever found out about this disgusting stuff, she'd probably self-destruct on the spot.)

"No, no, that's not good."

Ayanokoji tried to stop the perverted duo, but it didn't seem to work.

"Why not? It's just imagining—what's the harm?"

Qiuyue: (...You two probably use Kushida as material every night, don't you? Got enough tissues?)

"Sigh... maybe you two should just find girlfriends. Watching you like this is kind of pitiful..."

"You think I don't want to? I can't find one, huh? What, does Ayanokoji have a girlfriend?"

"What? Ayanokoji, don't tell me you and Horikita..."

"No, absolutely not."

When Ike said Ayanokoji might have a girlfriend, Sudo nearly jumped up. He put both hands on Ayanokoji's shoulders and asked, and Ayanokoji shot back instantly.

"Good... Ayanokoji, if anything happens with Horikita, you have to tell me. No, wait—you're not allowed to have feelings for Horikita."

"Alright, alright, don't worry. I won't have feelings for Horikita."

Ayanokoji sighed and moved Sudo's hands off his shoulders.

"So? How do I get a girlfriend?"

Ike slumped onto the sofa in defeat.

"...First, figure out what your standards are."

Qiuyue finally spoke up to engage with Ike and the others.

"Standards... First, she has to be good-looking. I don't need an eight or nine out of ten, but at least a six or seven.

Actually... after thinking about what Qiuyue said that day, maybe I'm just that kind of person. I can't accept someone too ugly."

Ike said.

Qiuyue: (...I get it. There's a saying: you don't have to be handsome, but don't be ugly. Looks are the entry ticket.)

"Anything else? You just want someone cute?"

"Huh? Is that not enough?"

"..."

"Sorry, Ike. I underestimated how desperate you are. I didn't realize you'd reached this point."

Qiuyue: (Probably in a few years, your requirement will just be 'female and breathing.')

"What do you know!? I've never once dated a soft, sweet girl! Damn it! Give me a girlfriend! Heaven!"

Ike waved his arms excitedly, showing just how much he wanted a girlfriend.

Then he grabbed Qiuyue's shoulders and shook him hard, saying:

"Huh? Do you have a girlfriend!? And how many have you had? Spill it now!"

Qiuyue stopped Ike's shaking hands and sighed as he said:

"No, I don't have a girlfriend, and I've never been in a relationship. Not even once."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Qiuyue, you're a real buddy, a true brother. If I get a girlfriend, I won't forget you."

Ike hugged Qiuyue and said this encouragingly.

Qiuyue: (No... no need. I don't think you'll get a girlfriend anytime soon. In the original story, you did manage to chase down a girl, though.)

"For everyone to successfully get a girlfriend, let's first set goals for each other. Sudo's target is Horikita, Yamauchi's target is..."

"Hey hey hey, my target is Kushida."

"Little Kushida is my target! Yamauchi, how about you pick someone else? I'll totally support you."

"No way, fair competition is fine. But Ike, you can't beat me."

"Nani!? How dare you underestimate me! I'll have you know, Little Kushida definitely likes me more. I'll argue with you later—right now, it's important to identify the competition. Ayanokoji and Qiuyue, who are your targets? Or is there someone you like? Hehe..."

"No, I probably don't have one."

Qiuyue: (Target... someone I like? When I watched the anime, I really liked Ichinose and Karuizawa. Back then, it was just on the screen, so having a harem was fine, right?)

(Now... no, who I like doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that they might not like me.)

(Besides, this isn't like saying "I like you" from behind a screen. In reality, it's different. I think liking someone shouldn't be about a racing heart, but about a heartache.)

(That vague thing called a racing heart is just teenage hormones acting up. Doesn't your heart beat fast when you're nervous? Isn't it the same after you stop running?)

(So I think that so-called racing heart, that heartbeat speeding up, is just hormones messing with you.)

(What truly makes you inexplicably feel heartache—that's real attraction.)

(The way to verify the truth of something is often through the negative side—that's the most real.)

"Qiuyue, what about you?"

"I don't have one either. I'm probably the type who likes someone who likes me."

Qiuyue: (...Based on my own theory, aside from biological heartache—like being sick—I haven't felt real heartache yet, so I don't have someone I like.)

(But I'm probably the type who holds the attitude, "Whoever treats me well, I'll treat them well." If people could really just casually fall for anyone, there wouldn't be so many suffering people out there.)

(So I plan to make myself like someone who likes me. Liking someone isn't easy to come by; it must be cherished.)

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"Idiot Sudo, Qiuyue means he likes girls who will like him."

"Huh—! Doesn't that mean he can date anyone?"

Sudo looked very surprised.

"Sudo, if you can't talk properly, shut up."

Qiuyue said irritably.

The five of them chatted idly like this, completely forgetting about Sudo's matter—even Sudo himself did.