Mom Knows Best

"How much!?"

The spoon in Uchiha Hideki's hand nearly fell into the pot.

He forgot all about cooking the fish soup and stared at Kazuhiko in shock.

"What could you possibly need 150,000 ryō for!?"

150,000 ryō was the reward for a low-risk A-rank mission.

As a Chunin who'd been stuck at the rank for years, Uchiha Hideki thought that much money could buy his life.

Of course, he didn't think that because his family was short on money.

In fact, it was quite the opposite. As a rare Uchiha medical Jonin, the head of the household, Eri, had access to the finest medical resources. She made money faster than a bandit.

And as the Uchiha Succubus, Hideki was quite wealthy.

His salary as an administrative officer in the Police Force was no small sum, either.

The fact that Kazuhiko's family could build their own house in the center of the clan compound said it all.

After all, in the Uchiha Clan, influence and connections were everything.

But—

As a househusband, Hideki's lowly position in the family left him both poor and resentful of the rich.

So hearing his son ask for 150,000 ryō just like that was more than he could stomach.

He even thought he'd misheard.

One hundred and fifty thousand!

That's enough for ten years of my pocket money! Sure, you're my son, but what gives you the right!?

Uchiha Hideki howled inwardly:

"I can't give him that! That's my money!"

His father's reaction was exactly what Kazuhiko had expected, so he stayed calm.

"Dad, take it easy. I need the 150,000 ryō for an investment. You know, an investment?"

"I don't know jack!"

Hideki rarely swore, but now he rushed to the table.

"All I know is that you're always asking the family for money, and you don't do a lick of proper work at your job. You spend all day goofing off!"

He turned to Eri, indignant.

"Dear, you can't indulge this brat in everything!"

"That so-called 'Psychology Clinic' he set up? If you put it nicely, he's pioneering a new field of medicine. But you don't know what people outside say about him. They say he only got into the medical system because someone pulled strings for him. He... he..."

Hideki's inner actor took over, and he looked utterly heartbroken.

"He's tarnishing your good name, dear! Now, when people ask me what our son does for a living, I'm too embarrassed to say he's a medical ninja!"

Black Charcoal had opened her eyes at some point. Watching her owner make his impassioned speech with amber eyes, she decided to offer a fair opinion.

"150,000 ryō could buy Lady Eri three years' worth of watermelons, meow~"

And it could buy this young lady a year's worth of fish, meow~

The family members had all shared their opinions.

At last, Eri, the one who had the final say, raised her beautiful, double-lidded eyes. She ignored her husband, Hideki, and turned her calm but scrutinizing gaze on Kazuhiko.

"Why?"

One word, crisp and powerful, with all the authority of a clan head.

Kazuhiko cleared his throat. He knew it was time to put his acting skills to use.

"Mom," he said, drawing a deep breath and putting on what he thought was a sincere, slightly bashful smile.

"I actually want to date Kurenai Yuhi."

Most of the time, a lie was the truth.

"Pfft—"

Hideki nearly spat up a mouthful of blood.

The wooden pick in Eri's hand paused. A piece of watermelon slipped off and fell back onto the fruit plate.

Black Charcoal's gaze snapped to Kazuhiko. Her tail stopped swishing, and her ears shot up as she instantly got ready for the gossip.

The Shinobi World couldn't do without gossip, just as the West couldn't do without Jerusalem.

"You've heard of Kurenai Yuhi, Mom, right?"

Kazuhiko felt embarrassed asking for money, so he spoke quickly.

"She's a leading figure in Konoha's genjutsu field, a Special Jōnin, single, three years older than me, mature and sophisticated, and as beautiful as you, Mom—"

"Stop."

Eri set down her wooden pick and dabbed the corner of her mouth with a napkin, unhurriedly.

"Go on."

Kazuhiko's eyes lit up. He knew he had a chance.

In the precocious world of Naruto, if failing to find a partner and get married were written into law, Kazuhiko, still single at eighteen, would be looking at ten years in prison at the very least.

"I want to use the 150,000 ryō to hire Kurenai Yuhi to teach me genjutsu and create a chance for us to get close."

"I also want to use our 'Genjutsu Seal' secret technique to trade for the Yūhi Clan's family genjutsu."

"Think about it, Mom. The money wouldn't be wasted. It's basically money for your future daughter-in-law. That's a win. And the techniques we get in exchange will still be learned by our own Uchiha. Another win."

Kazuhiko looked utterly confident.

"Your son is a genius. I'm winning so hard!"

From the kitchen came the sound of Hideki's heart breaking.

"That's like throwing a meat bun to a dog! You're an Uchiha, and you want to hire an outsider to teach you genjutsu and trade secret techniques? And you call yourself a genius? What a disgrace to the family..."

Eri ignored him and watched Kazuhiko for a few seconds before suddenly speaking.

"You like older women."

It wasn't a question but a statement.

Kazuhiko froze, then gave an awkward smile.

"Older women know how to take care of people."

Truthfully, age didn't matter to him. He was a huge Hinata fan, but three years was still a little too young.

Of course, Kazuhiko wasn't picky. Tsunade would do just fine, too.

Hmm... the Tsuchikage and Mizukage were pretty great, too.

Eri stared at her son without a word. Clearly, that reason hadn't convinced her.

Feeling the pressure, Kazuhiko scratched his head and tried to explain.

"Kurenai Yuhi's a genjutsu expert. She could really help with my psychological assessments. You know how I am, Mom. There are plenty of Sharingan Genjutsu I can't learn at all. Learning the Yūhi Clan's genjutsu would help me get stronger, too. Right?"

He made it sound perfectly reasonable, but how could Eri not know what her son was like?

Three months wasn't nearly enough to change the way she saw him.

In Eri's eyes, Kazuhiko was still the same eighteen-year-old medical Genin whose "friends" were "excellent," who needed to ask his family for money, and who also...

"Not obsessed with Tsunade anymore?"

Eri raised an eyebrow, studying her son's reaction.

Kazuhiko was a little taken aback.

I'm a seasoned fan. I can appreciate a good game rationally, all right? I'm not obsessed with anyone.

As long as someone plays well, I admire them.

He didn't even blush as he said:

"Mom, I just admire her. Purely admire her. Lady Tsunade is one of the legendary Sannin, and she's incredibly strong. It's perfectly normal for me to admire her."

"Normal enough to call out 'Big Sister Tsunade' in your sleep?"

"..."

Kazuhiko broke into a sweat. He felt like he could dig out a whole house with his toes.

This is so unfair! I've been framed!

Why should I pay for what the original did?

I've never thought about conquering Tsunade, raising Hinata, or dating the beautiful women of the Shinobi World.

I only said I wanted to date Kurenai Yuhi to convince her to hire me.

I'm not interested in women!

Mom has misunderstood me so badly.

Hideki leaned over then, looking eager for gossip. "That happened?"

"Dad, shut up!"

Eri finally smiled a little, her expression amused, as if she saw right through him. Then she reached her verdict.

"You prefer older partners."

"I don't!"

"You like mature women, like Tsunade. That's why you publicly declared your 'support' for her. And now you've set your sights on Kurenai Yuhi."

Eri counted them off on her fingers. "Kurenai is three years older than you, so she's a mature woman, too. She's powerful, and she even has a bit of Tsunade in her."

Kazuhiko opened his mouth, then realized he couldn't refute it.

The previous Kazuhiko really had admired Tsunade, after all. You couldn't hide it when you liked someone.

"But," Eri continued, "Kurenai Yuhi is a pretty good choice."

Kazuhiko's eyes lit up. Was he getting the money after all?

"She comes from a minor clan, has no complicated family background, is gifted in genjutsu, and has a gentle, manageable personality."

Eri sounded as though she were evaluating a product.

"If you really could marry into her clan, it wouldn't just benefit you. It would help our Uchiha Clan, too. I'll pay for it."

Kazuhiko: ...

Mom knows best!

Don't just talk about the money. What about the rights to the techniques?