This Is Just Crazy

"Tombo Sarutobi! Stop digging! You're ruining the floor of the sobering room with your toes!"

Hearing Kawadera Uchiha say that, Tombo Sarutobi awkwardly pulled his toes back.

When he came to, he found himself in the Police Force's sobering room.

The memories came rushing back, stabbing into him like a sharp knife, again and again.

Last night at the tavern, he'd drunk too much and gotten rowdy, telling his friends everything he'd been afraid to say.

It seemed like he'd gotten a little worked up toward the end and said a lot of things he shouldn't have.

What had he said again...

Oh. He'd cursed out his dead squad leader, Takashi Senju, for insisting on charging into battle.

Although Takashi had ultimately taken a Rock Iron Cannon blast for him and saved his life, he'd also cost Tombo eight fingers.

That bastard should've died long ago. He deserved to have his whole family die too. He'd ruined Tombo's life and made it impossible for him to be a ninja.

What was wrong with cursing him out?

Who the hell wanted to die for the sake of the Senju Clan's damn honor?

Oh, that seemed to be something else he'd said last night.

There had been people all over the tavern, inside and out.

It was over. It was all over.

The tavern had been a complete mess. The Uchiha Police Force ninja had taken control of the situation, and it seemed like he'd been the only one still shouting curses.

The street outside had been packed with people, all wanting to see who'd gotten unlucky enough to be dealt with by the Police Force this time.

It seemed like a lot of people had heard him cursing.

Besides insulting Takashi Senju, he'd kept trying to reclaim his pride.

After his fingers had been cut off and he could no longer be a ninja, the looks of pity hadn't comforted him. They'd only trampled his dignity.

He didn't want anyone's pity! Pity was an insult!

Then his last scrap of pride had become his surname: Sarutobi.

There was a saying in the clan that, under the leadership of Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sarutobi Clan would become Konoha's greatest ninja clan.

He'd drunk too much last night and kept going on about how the Sarutobi Clan was about to take off and become the greatest ninja clan, hoping people would respect him more.

Thinking of that, Tombo Sarutobi couldn't help sticking out his toes and staring blankly as he dug at the floor again.

Ninja sandals with open toes let him dig at the floor when he was embarrassed. How nice.

Bang!

The sobering room door was kicked open, and Jonin Mukade Sarutobi strode in with a dark expression.

Kawadera Uchiha hurriedly sprang up from his chair. He'd heard about this Jonin's short temper.

"Jonin Mukade Sarutobi, I've been waiting for you to come pick him up."

"Mm."

Mukade Sarutobi grunted and turned to look at Tombo Sarutobi, who was sitting on the floor, his face full of disappointment.

"Get up! You idiot! Damn it, stop embarrassing us!"

Mukade Sarutobi grabbed the handle and slammed the door against the wall behind it.

Tombo Sarutobi hurriedly stood and followed Mukade Sarutobi out with his head bowed.

After seeing them off, Kawadera Uchiha looked at the report and thought, That sure was quite a show last night.

Tombo Sarutobi had said aloud what so many people in the Sarutobi Clan wanted to say. Kawadera Uchiha had enjoyed listening to him.

By the time he finished his temporary work for the day, it was already late. Kawadera Uchiha went to find Seigetsu Senju.

Half an hour later, Seigetsu Senju was rinsing her mouth with Water Release.

Kawadera Uchiha stared at Seigetsu and said, "You don't have to swallow the rinse water too. Hurry up and spit it out."

Seigetsu Senju shot Kawadera a look and spat out the water.

"Seigetsu, take a look at this report. I remember all the details."

Seigetsu Senju wiped the water from her lips and picked up the scroll. The more she read, the more her brow furrowed.

The Sarutobi Clan actually thought they were Konoha's greatest ninja clan?

That didn't surprise Seigetsu Senju much. The Senju Clan had fallen into decline, and they lagged behind the other great clans in both Jonin numbers and the total number of ninja.

All they had left was the pride of being one of the founding clans.

What caught her attention more was this line.

"Tombo Sarutobi said there are a lot of people who don't want to team up with the Senju Clan? That they'd rather treat us like a plague?"

Kawadera Uchiha hurriedly said, "I don't think that way. It's those Konoha ninja who are afraid of dying."

Seigetsu Senju said, "I know it wasn't you. You're not even afraid of billions of casualties."

Kawadera Uchiha coughed repeatedly. Ever since Seigetsu had opened the door to a whole new world, she'd gotten bolder and bolder. He loved it.

"I never thought..." Seigetsu Senju said sadly. "I never thought we'd be so brave that the other Konoha ninja would start to hate us..."

Kawadera Uchiha changed the subject. "Seigetsu, I'll be doing temporary work at the Police Force for a while, looking into information about the Uchiha Clan and the village.

"You don't have to doubt me. My heart has always been with the village and the Senju Clan."

"Mm, of course I don't doubt you."

Over the next few days, Kawadera Uchiha was busy every day.

He trained during the day, filled in at the Police Force when they were short-staffed at night, went to Seigetsu's place to work up a sweat after his shift, and finally gave Shingu Senju genjutsu training in the middle of the night.

One night, Kawadera Uchiha was arresting a drunken troublemaker at a tavern when he heard two people at a nearby table talking.

"Which clan do you think is Konoha Village's greatest ninja clan?"

"It's probably the Senju Clan. Haven't they been the greatest ninja clan ever since the village was founded?"

"How could it be the Senju Clan? Look how much they've declined!"

"Then it must be the Sarutobi Clan. They've got the Ino-Shika-Cho clans as vassals, and the Shimura Clan backing them. They're in their prime."

"How could it be the Sarutobi Clan? They're nowhere near as old or powerful as the Senju and Uchiha, the thousand-year-old clans."

"Could it be the Uchiha Clan?"

"I think it's the Uchiha Clan..."

Kawadera Uchiha furrowed his brow.

For the past four or five days, people at this tavern had been talking about the things Tombo Sarutobi had shouted while making a scene. Tombo had claimed the Sarutobi Clan was Konoha Village's greatest ninja clan.

The people at this tavern had already reached a consensus: the Sarutobi Clan was Konoha's greatest ninja clan.

Now a different rumor had appeared, a different version of events.

Kawadera Uchiha instinctively felt that the rumor hadn't come from nowhere.

After taking the drunken troublemaker back, Kawadera Uchiha asked GG Uchiha for leave. He had something to discuss with his superior, Ishiya Uchiha.

Inside a house in the clan compound, Kawadera Uchiha met Ishiya Uchiha.

"You're saying someone's deliberately muddying the waters, trying to pin the title of Konoha's greatest ninja clan on us?"

"Yes. After Tombo Sarutobi made a scene that night, the people at that tavern started discussing on their own whether the Sarutobi Clan was the greatest ninja clan. But today, something changed. Someone's deliberately steering public opinion.

"Is the Sarutobi Clan trying to divert the trouble toward us so they won't attract too much attention?"

Ishiya Uchiha thought it over before saying, "Kawadera, I trust your judgment. Wait here while I go see the clan head. We need to take action immediately."

After waiting for over ten minutes, Kawadera Uchiha saw Ishiya Uchiha return.

"Senior Ishiya, what should we do? Should we find the people spreading the rumors and interrogate them to find out who's behind it?"

"No need!" Ishiya Uchiha waved his hand and said:

"The clan head says there's no need to be modest. Our Uchiha Clan is the greatest ninja clan in Konoha right now."

Kawadera Uchiha was stunned. Was clan head No Uchiha crazy or something?

Was being called Konoha's greatest clan really such a good thing? Even the Sarutobi Clan knew to distance themselves from the title. Why would the Uchiha Clan want to pick up that hot potato?

"Not only will we not investigate, we'll fan the flames and spread the title of the Uchiha Clan as the greatest ninja clan!"

Kawadera Uchiha was deeply confused, but he said, "I must have been too forward. The clan must have a deeper reason for this, one I'd never be able to figure out with my limited intelligence."

Ishiya Uchiha spoke with fervor:

"The Senju Clan has suffered heavy losses. It's time to prove the Uchiha Clan's strength with a grand victory!

"Young clan head Fugaku will crush the competition and take first place in the Chunin Ninja Exams!

"The Uchiha are Konoha's present, and they're also Konoha's future!

"We need to play along with young clan head Fugaku's performance and build up the hype!

"Kawadera! Go! Spread the rumor that the Uchiha Clan is Konoha's greatest clan. The clan head says he wants to see how everyone reacts!"

"Senior Ishiya! You can count on me!"

But in his heart, he thought, What is this, some kind of sickness? That's way too arrogant!