A Little Secret Nudge, and Sasuke and Naruto's Kiss of the Century

That day, the school held a test, mainly to assess the students' theoretical knowledge. For Qingwu and his friends, this seemed to have become routine.

Sure enough, just as expected, they ranked near the bottom again. Faced with these results, Iruka felt utterly helpless and speechless.

He stared wide-eyed at Qingwu and the others and exclaimed, "You guys, are you doing this on purpose? You scrape a pass on every test. I don't even know what to say!"

But when Iruka saw Naruto's answer sheet, he nearly jumped up in anger. He demanded loudly, "Naruto, what on earth did you write?"

Naruto had filled his paper with all sorts of strange declarations, calling himself the great Naruto, saying that Lord Naruto would definitely become Hokage and save the world, and so on.

Faced with Iruka's scolding, Qingwu explained with an innocent expression, "Sensei, we really did our best!"

In truth, Qingwu was thinking, What's the point of getting such high marks? No more, no less—sixty is perfect. A pass is enough. Every extra point is a waste!

"Exactly. Don't cut into my Potato Chips-eating (slacking-off) time." Shikamaru and Choji nodded in agreement beside him. They felt that passing was enough; there was no need to chase high scores.

Naruto muttered miserably, "I wrote everything down! How was I supposed to know it was still wrong?"

Clearly, Naruto was the kind of child whose simple-mindedness bordered on stupidity. Whether his answers fit the questions or not, he wrote down everything that came into his head. For example, he had written, "The great Naruto will definitely become Hokage and save the world!" Such innocent answers left everyone unsure whether to laugh or cry.

"Ugh... shouldn't have even asked..."

Hearing Naruto's words, Qingwu, Shikamaru, and Choji couldn't help chiming in together. "Yeah, even if we gave you the right answers, you'd still write them wrong." They looked at Naruto disdainfully, unable to understand how he could be so dumb.

After being mocked by everyone, Naruto retorted angrily, "That's not true! I'm just not very smart. I'm definitely not stupid! You bastards!"

But his reply only left Qingwu and the others even more speechless. They thought, Not very smart? Isn't that just fucking stupid...?

"Hmph. A bunch of Dead Lasts." Sasuke looked disdainfully at Qingwu's group of four, who had been made to stand as punishment again. "What a waste of resources."

"What did you say?" Naruto instantly flared up. "Stuck-up Sasuke, you looking for a fight? Come on, let the great Naruto teach you a lesson!"

He had disliked Sasuke Uchiha for ages. Why did Sakura like such a stuck-up jerk so much?

As he spoke, he moved to attack, sneaking a glance at Sakura out of the corner of his eye. He hoped she would see him show off his might.

What a simp.

Qingwu and the others shook their heads at the sight.

"Tsk, tsk. Are Naruto's teenage hormones kicking in? Trying to show off his masculine charm?"

"Spring has come... everything is stirring back to life... and once again, it's time for..."

"Hmph."

Sasuke lifted his chin arrogantly. He had no time to fool around with a bunch of Dead Lasts. "A bunch of idiots."

Talk about insulting everyone in sight.

Even Qingwu's fists were starting to clench.

"Stuck-up Sasuke, explain yourself! Who are you calling an idiot, you jerk...?"

Hearing this, Naruto's anger burned even hotter. He rolled up his sleeves, ready to charge over and hit him. Just then, however, Iruka Teacher approached and stopped the farce in time.

"Both of you, stop!" Teacher Iruka shouted sternly. "This is a school, not a place for fighting! Classmates should care for and love one another!"

Care for... and love one another...? Hehehe...

Qingwu wore a strange smile at those words. Shikamaru's instincts told him that Qingwu was definitely up to something.

Naruto grumbled indignantly, "Iruka Teacher! But stuck-up Sasuke started it!"

Sasuke stared coldly at Naruto, seemingly full of hostility toward him.

"All right, I understand. Sasuke, you should care more about your classmates too. Don't hurt people with harsh words..."

Iruka Teacher shook his head helplessly, thinking what a headache these children were. He gave both sides an equal scolding.

Still, he understood that children their age were prone to acting impulsively and needed time to grow and learn to get along.

"All right, everyone, go back to your seats." Iruka Teacher waved a hand, signaling that class would continue.

"Stuck-up Sasuke, I'll let you off for now, for Iruka Teacher's sake..." Although he was still upset, Naruto could only obediently return to his seat.

Qingwu's mouth twitched. "This kid must have the wrong idea about how strong he is. If Iruka Teacher hadn't stopped you just now, you would've gotten beaten up."

"Hmph."

Meanwhile, Sasuke kept his arms folded across his chest, looking as proud and confident as ever, as though none of this had anything to do with him.

Sakura: Wow... Sasuke is so handsome.

Come on, I got caught in the crossfire for no reason. Uchiha Sasuke, insulting everyone like that was going a little too far.

Qingwu merely smiled without saying anything.

Uchiha Sasuke, life hasn't beaten you down enough yet.

Shikamaru and Qingwu exchanged a glance and instantly understood each other: get him. Then Shikamaru resumed his lazy demeanor.

"Crunch, crunch."

Choji couldn't have cared less. He kept his head down and devoured his Potato Chips. What's so great about the Uchiha? Are they as tasty as Potato Chips? If something comes up, just listen to Shikamaru. Thinking is such a pain. Listen to Qingwu too—his cooking is delicious.

Get Sasuke, have a feast. Slurp...

"Qingwu..."

Ino and Hinata looked a little worried. After all, this was Sasuke Uchiha, the Top Student in their year. Qingwu and his friends might come off worse if a fight broke out.

"Mm."

Ino and Hinata were both girls with strong principles, and they had made up their minds to stand with Qingwu and the others.

Look at that. What wonderful girls.

Seeing this, Iruka said, "Naruto, you four behave yourselves. No more standing as punishment today. Pay attention in class."

"Sasuke, you need to get along with your classmates..."

After scolding both sides, he launched into a lengthy lecture that began with friendship between classmates and worked its way to the Will of Fire...

"Yaaawn..." Listening made Qingwu sleepy. His eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and he dropped his head and fell asleep.

"Zzz..."

Shikamaru followed suit.

"Crunch, crunch."

Choji chose to keep watch and warn them if necessary, though mostly it was because he hadn't finished his Potato Chips. "Potato Chips are so yummy..."

"Stuck-up Sasuke, this is all your fault! You got me singled out by Iruka Teacher again..." Naruto glared at Sasuke, fuming.

"Hmph. Dead Last." Sasuke glared back without giving an inch.

"Don't think I'm scared of you." Naruto returned his glare.

"The honor of the Uchiha." Sasuke glared back.

"I'm the man who's going to become Hokage." Naruto glared.

"I'm the one who'll become Hokage," Sasuke said.

"No, it's me..."

"It's me..."

The two children began a staring contest. One minute... five minutes... ten minutes passed. Their eyes turned red, like bulls in heat, and neither would give in, even as tears streamed down their faces.

"Sniff..." Their eyes were so dry.

I absolutely can't lose to stuck-up Sasuke (that Dead Last).

Naruto and Sasuke stared fixedly at each other without blinking, their eyes bloodshot from the prolonged contest.

But even so...

Neither gave up.

Men and their damned urge to win.

Iruka sighed. These children are getting harder and harder to handle. I've been losing so much hair lately. I'm exhausted...

What can I do? Indulge them, I guess.

They were all his students.

Sasuke Uchiha was a bridge between the village and the Uchiha, while Naruto was a Jinchūriki who needed love and a Bond.

Third Hokage, I'll make sure I do this properly.

I'll help them understand the Will of Fire.

Hmm, who's going to win? I can't wait to see... no, no, no! Iruka, you're a teacher! How can you join in the fun...?

I'll just watch for a bit, just a little, and then I'll stop them... yes... just a little... I'll stop them right away...

Yes, just a little longer.

Without realizing it, Iruka stopped lecturing.

He watched the show.

Even the Teacher behaved like this, so the students naturally followed suit.

Every last one of them was eager for things to get even messier.

They heckled and egged the boys on.

They split into two camps.

"Go, Naruto! Don't lose to him!"

"You have to win!"

"Yeah, yeah! I've disliked Sasuke for ages. What's so great about him? Why does he get all those girls?"

"Exactly! Come on, Naruto!"

"Don't lose to him!"

"Naruto, look fiercer! You're almost winning!"

"..."

Most of those cheering for Naruto were boys. Sasuke had good grades, good looks, and a prestigious family background—the perfect catch. He had won over countless girls at the Ninja Academy, in both the higher and lower grades. The endless love letters and gifts had long since stirred up resentment.

Female ninja were already scarce. You don't even like them, yet you hog so many! Damn it... It all came down to envy and jealousy.

"Wow! Even Sasuke-kun's glare is so charming!"

"He's so handsome!"

"Sasuke-kun, you can do it!"

"Damn it, why can't I be the one gazing deeply into Sasuke-kun's eyes like that? That damned Uzumaki Naruto is so lucky!"

"Exactly! I'd be so happy if he looked at me like that!"

"I wish I could become a tear in the corner of Sasuke-kun's eye!"

"Sasuke-kun really is so handsome!"

"..."

The girls were swooning again.

"..."

Qingwu and Shikamaru were awakened by the racket. After listening for a moment, they understood what was happening and looked thoroughly exasperated.

A bunch of shallow girls.

Ino and Hinata are much better.

"Oh, yeah! The great Naruto will never lose!"

Naruto was thrilled. He had never received so much attention before, with so many people cheering him on.

This idiot...

Looking at the wildly excited Naruto, Sasuke felt a little miserable. Is there something wrong with this guy?!

Being watched by so many people made him uncomfortable.

It felt as though he were a performing monkey.

Yet something deep inside him refused to lose to this Dead Last. He really, really didn't want to lose.

"Hehehe..."

Seeing how close they were, and at this particular angle, Qingwu suddenly perked up and grinned mischievously.

One look told Shikamaru that his troublemaking friend was about to pull something.

"Qingwu... isn't that a bit much?" His eyes, however, held anticipation and an eagerness to try it.

"Hey! Who pushed me?"

A classmate cried out and bumped into Naruto in front of him.

Caught off guard, Naruto instantly lost his balance and pitched forward. Right in front of him was Sasuke.

"Idiot, don't come over here!"

It happened so suddenly that Sasuke let his guard down too and failed to dodge.

And so...

"Smooch."

Their lips met.

Naruto and Sasuke kissed.

At this sudden turn of events...

"..."

The classroom abruptly fell silent.

They were shocked.

Completely stunned.

It was just too...

A world full of noise wasn't frightening. A world gone utterly silent was.

"Oho! You two seem to be having a lovely time."

Qingwu's teasing remark instantly snapped everyone out of their daze.

"Get away from me!" ×2

Naruto and Sasuke shoved each other away at the same time, then doubled over and retched. They had actually kissed stuck-up Sasuke (that Dead Last).

I've been defiled. ×2

"Bleegh~"

"Hahaha~" The boys roared with laughter.

"I'm going to kill you, Dead Last!" Humiliated and furious, Sasuke activated his Sharingan and lunged at Naruto.

"Damn you, Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Sasuke-kun's first kiss was supposed to be mine! Die!"

"Uzumaki Naruto, prepare yourself!"

"I'm so jealous~"

"..." The girls swarmed Naruto in a noisy mob, actually shoving Sasuke out of the way.

"Aaaah~ Stop..."

Naruto got beaten up by the furious girls, but he felt both pain and pleasure. It was the first time so many girls had lavished attention on him, and Sakura was among them... What bliss...

"You... you all..."

Sasuke reached out and opened his mouth several times, but no words came out.

"Hmph~"

Sasuke turned and stormed off. From his utterly dejected look, he seemed to be heading home for comfort.

"Ahahaha~ Shikamaru, look at him. Think there's a market for photos of that kiss...? A scandal involving the Uchiha Heir~"

Qingwu, the culprit behind it all, laughed loudly and pulled out a Camera, exposing his petty streak in an instant.

Shikamaru's mouth kept twitching. He had never expected his friend to be this devious.

Not only had he set Sasuke up, he had even taken photos.

Still.

Nicely done.

That felt good.

Choji: Mm-hmm~ Great with a meal...

"Heehee~ Hinata, I told you Qingwu wouldn't let him off." Ino and Hinata had stayed out of the mob beating and watched the farce orchestrated by Qingwu with giggles.

Hinata: Big Brother Qingwu is amazing.