Copper and Pauline's Problem

In Joseph's office, Napoleon was arguing with Joseph. The reason for the argument was simple: Joseph had demanded that all the cannons in the France army be replaced with iron ones.

"If you had produced cheap steel by now, that would be one thing, but your steelmaking is still in the laboratory, and you actually want to replace bronze cannons with those damned cast iron cannons. No, absolutely not, absolutely not! I, Napoleon, would never do anything to harm the army's fighting capacity for personal gain!" Napoleon rarely shouted at his elder brother about this.

"Napoleon, although cannons are a bit cumbersome, they're not entirely unusable. We won't be undertaking any large-scale expeditions anytime soon, will we?" Joseph said. "Right now, we are desperately short of copper, extremely desperately short of copper."

"If we lack copper, we should find a way to buy it!" Napoleon said.

"What the hell! If it could be solved by buying, I wouldn't be in such a hurry! Napoleon, do you know that in the last few months, the price of copper throughout Europe has almost doubled? The countries around us have started using paper coins extensively because the people there are selling us copper coins as if they were copper."

Throughout Europe, from Tsarist Russia to England, we've been buying up copper in bulk, wherever it's available on the market. The Britain have already begun restricting copper exports; the Spain and Austria, of course, dare not, but they've raised prices remarkably quickly. As for France, almost all the copper items in people's homes have been stolen by themselves or by thieves and sold to us. Even the church bells have all been replaced with iron ones. But copper is still not enough!

"Napoleon, you should consider this: these days, the price of your damned bronze cannons has increased considerably. If you agree to have them melted down, I... I'll return two of each bronze cannon to you, not two and a half iron cannons of equal quality—what do you say?"

"Even under normal circumstances, one bronze cannon is worth two iron cannons," Napoleon sneered. "No! More money! I must make the army feel that I am strengthening them, not weakening them. One cannon for four, and you must guarantee the quality; you can't try to fool our army with the kind exported to Prussia!"

"Oh dear, Napoleon, how can you slander our exported cannons like that? Thanks to the application of new technologies, although our exported cannons are not as good as bronze cannons in terms of performance, they are already superior to the Britain cannons."

A while ago, the Prussia replaced all their bronze cannons with iron cannons because they needed to pay back money. They compared Britain iron cannons with ours and concluded that our iron cannons were in no way inferior to bronze cannons, and were far superior to Britain iron cannons. How can you say that about our iron cannons?

"You're kidding me! The Prussia are only dealing with those insignificant Poland now. Of course they can use arquebuses, since those Poland don't have any. Besides, are they satisfied with the performance? What performance requirements could they possibly have? Their only requirement is that it be cheap. Right?"

"Oh dear, Napoleon, why are you so stubborn? These cannons are purely a transitional product. In a while, once Lavoisier's cheap steelmaking comes out, these things will all become scrap to be melted down. It's not impossible to make them perform better, for example, by using composite barrels of cast iron and wrought iron. Apart from being a bit heavier, they're really not much worse than bronze cannons. But the price, well, it's not much different from the old bronze cannons, and the production volume can't be increased immediately, unlike ordinary iron cannons, which can be directly used on the Prussia system... Napoleon, don't be so inflexible. Soon, I guarantee soon, you'll be able to use steel cannons," Joseph said, patting his chest.

"Come on, you've assured me that so many times during this period," Napoleon said. "I don't understand, the copper mine in Prussia that the union has been in operation for a long time will soon be in production—that's what you said; the mine is so large that, with it and our new technology, I can easily double the copper production of all of Europe —that's what you said too; and..." Napoleon's spittle almost splattered onto Joseph's face.

"Damn it, I need an N95 mask now," Joseph thought to himself.

Then he tried to explain, "But Napoleon, this takes time, and we don't have time to wait."

"What do you mean there's no time to wait? They're just your power plants, what's the big deal about making them wait a bit?" Napoleon said.

"Napoleon, have you forgotten that the wheat will soon be in dire need of irrigation? We promised farmers across the country, especially those villages where veterans serve as village heads, that they would have a good life with plenty to eat and drink. How will this good life come about? It will come from increasing wheat yields. How can wheat yields be increased? Of course, by having more irrigated land. How can the area of irrigated land be expanded?"

With the support of the army, the veterans led the villagers in digging more irrigation ditches. This helped to some extent, but it wasn't enough. The water in the ditches couldn't flow to the wheat fields on its own, and the amount of water that could be pumped by manpower or livestock was limited. To expand the irrigated area on a large scale, electric water pumps were needed. And electric water pumps depended on electricity supplied from power plants.

And as you know, generators, motors, and wires all require copper. If we want to have an unprecedented bumper harvest this year, we must quickly build as many electric water pumps as possible before the wheat needs to be irrigated on a large scale.

Moreover, Napoleon, more than half of our soldiers are peasants from the countryside. If they see the changes that electric water pumps bring to their hometowns and their families, their support for us will grow even further.

Yes, you led them on countless campaigns, earned them a great deal of wealth, and made them landowners. That alone is enough to make them grateful. If you could also ensure their crops were bountiful and that their descendants would have enough to eat, then let alone a crown, they would even be willing to build a temple for you."

This last question intrigued Napoleon. He thought for a moment and asked, "How many electric pumping stations can be built now?"

Joseph had been waiting for these words. Hearing them, he knew Napoleon was interested. So he said, "Wait a moment, let me have your sister-in-law bring the map. Let's look at it together."

Joseph went outside and saw Fanny playing chess with Pauline, who was dressed in men's clothing. Pauline was in a bad position, and it looked like Fanny was about to lose a pawn to the bottom rank and become a queen. (By the way, I've never understood why a pawn in chess can become a queen. Did they have Hua Mulan that early on?) Seeing Joseph and Napoleon come out, she quickly stood up and said, "Is there anything I can help you with?" At the same time, she pushed the chessboard away, saying, "I'm done playing, I need to get to work."

"Oh, Pauline, we need to find that water conservancy plan map," Joseph said.

Pauline turned around, searched through a filing cabinet for a while, then pulled a file folder from the top and brought it over. "It should all be here, take a look yourselves."

Fanny then walked over, took the file folder, opened it, and spread out a map from the extra-large map that was kept in Joseph's office—a map big enough to serve as a bed for a platoon of soldiers. After doing this, she smiled and pulled Pauline out of the office.

Napoleon frowned slightly as he watched Pauline walk away.

"Joseph, you should really discipline Pauline properly. Look at the state she's in! She's always dressed in men's clothes—what kind of behavior is this?"

"What's wrong with that? Men's clothes are definitely more convenient, aren't they? Look at me, I get up and dressed in five minutes, but Fanny, damn it, it takes her an hour to get dressed. It's... it's a complete waste of her life."

Napoleon knew what Joseph meant by "wasting life." Joseph had once taught him, "Life is made up of time, and to waste time is to waste life." Later, Napoleon frequently used this phrase among his generals and government officials. So much so that if someone were to compile a book of famous quotes at that time, this phrase would most likely be attributed to Napoleon.

But at this moment, Napoleon disagreed with Joseph's opinion. "Women, why should they cherish their time so much? The more time they have, the more trouble they'll cause. Good heavens, I have something to tell you, but please don't get excited—a few days ago Fouché told me that he saw Pauline dressed in men's clothing, going with Lucien to inspect the entertainment industry in Paris, yes, that kind of entertainment industry."

"What?" Joseph jumped up immediately upon hearing this. "When did this happen? Why weren't you told?"

"About what happened a few days ago, after you went to the Saar Coal Mine," Napoleon said. "I asked Lucien, and he admitted it was true. But Lucien said they didn't do much, just got a firsthand look at the situation. Because Pauline is writing a novel and needs to know about these kinds of things..."

"You believe everything he says? This brat is asking for trouble..." Joseph said.

"I don't believe it, but Pauline really is writing a novel, and a pretty good one at that. I've read it; many scenes are described with great realism, like... wait, that rascal Lucien probably even took Pauline to a casino."