When It Was Time to Put Lunatics to Use Again

Upon returning from Pitt.'s visit, Addington immediately summoned the First Lord of the Admiralty, demanding that the Admiralty produce a detailed and "well-considered" plan for the blockade of the Irish Sea for his consideration.

He then wrote to the Duke of Norfolk to inquire about his stance. The Duke of Norfolk naturally supported the blockade of Ireland, but he suggested that now was not the best time; the best time would be one or two months before the harvest season. Of course, preparations should begin now.

Two days later, at a gathering of the British Royal Academy of Sciences, Prime Minister Addington's secretary revealed a secret to Matthew Boulton, who was also present. "The Navy has developed a new weapon that could be used to blockade the Irish Sea..."

Many people believe that Matthew Boulton's membership in the Royal Academy of Sciences was largely due to Watt's influence. While he was a decent engineer, his actual skill level was probably not high enough to qualify him for the Royal Academy of Sciences of Sciences.

But when it comes to business acumen, Boulton could truly say within the Academy of Sciences, "I'm not targeting any of you." After all, in this circle, "Nobody knows how to do business better than me."

Upon hearing the news, Boulton's expression immediately changed. After confirming the news once again, he made an excuse and left the venue early with Watt.

On the carriage ride back, Boulton told Watt the news. Watt immediately exclaimed, "How can this be? We've only just... and our..."

"James, keep your voice down," Boulton said. "Don't get excited. From what I see in Mr. Dowding's words, the government hasn't made a final decision yet. Think about it, this is a huge matter. It doesn't just involve us; it involves many other people, like those in the textile industry. If we really go to war with France again, just imagine the losses these people will suffer? I'm afraid there will be massive factory closures immediately. At that time, London Bridge will probably be crowded with people wanting to jump into the Thames River. Maybe, because there are so many people, London Bridge will collapse under their weight. Hmm, that does remind me of a nursery rhyme my mother used to sing to me when I was a child: 'London Bridge is going to fall, is going to fall, is going to fall...'"

At this point, Boulton actually started singing.

Although Watt was not satisfied with Boulton still making jokes at this point, Boulton's nonchalant attitude still relieved Watt.

"Matthew, stop acting like a child," Watt said. "The question now is how we should handle this."

"Of course, the first thing to do is to spread the word and let everyone know," Boulton replied.

Almost simultaneously, in other places, some businessmen with close ties to the Admiralty also received similar information. Some of them received even more detailed information, including technical details.

Two days later, the inaugural issue of a newly established tabloid published a news article titled "Royal Navy Successfully Develops Secret Weapon, France Exclaim It's Invincible." Even more damning, the article explicitly stated that this weapon, which had the France "exclaiming it's invincible," was a naval mine.

The London Metropolitan Police immediately shut down the newspaper and arrested all its members—the editor-in-chief, reporters, printers, newsboys—including Mr. Anderson Soapy. He was interrogated, and during the interrogation, Mr. Soapy claimed that his information came from divine revelation, that God appeared to him in a dream and gave him these revelations.

This statement, of course, enraged the police officers, who felt their intelligence had been insulted. Several officers gave the man a thorough beating, so badly that even his own mother wouldn't recognize him. But Mr. Soapy remained unyielding, and whenever he had a spare moment, even during a break when the officers were tired of beating him, he would continuously preach to them:

"God says the day is near, you must repent! God is supreme, I am God's messenger, you will go to hell for doing this! Almighty, merciful God, have mercy on them, forgive their sins, for they do not even know what they are doing..."

This left the police officers baffled; this guy really did seem to have some mental issues. But how could a lunatic run a newspaper? Besides, the people sent by the Admiralty were extremely anxious, insisting on finding out who was behind this man.

However, not long after, people from the London Asylum came knocking. According to them, this guy named Soapy was one of their patients.

"Ah, Sheriff John, this man is indeed one of our patients. He has always had paranoia. Six months ago, when our hospital was relocated, a number of patients went missing due to the chaos. At the time, we even placed missing person notices in the newspaper and reported the case to your department," said the asylum worker named Woolf.

"So how did you find your way here?" Sheriff John asked.

"You know, we've never given up looking for them, especially Anderson Soapy. His uncle is a wealthy man who visits him every year... He'll be visiting Soapy soon. Well, he's one of our hospital's major donors. So we've been looking for him, including through private investigators."

A few days ago, Detective Shylock Moriarty told us that he had received information that a man who looked very much like the Anderson Soapy we described was active around here, so we came looking for him..."

"Are you sure this person is Anderson Soapy? Do you have any proof?"

"Of course," Woolf replied. "Sheriff, we have brought a complete file on Anderson Soapy from when he entered our hospital five years ago, including his fingerprints from five years ago."

"Can we take a look?" Sheriff John asked.

After verification, the palm print on the five-year-old record brought by Woolf and the palm print of Anderson Soapy, who was imprisoned, were indeed from the same person. Sheriff John then informed the Admiralty of this. However, the Admiralty was convinced that this was a conspiracy, and that there must be spies and saboteurs behind this person.

"So, what this madman is saying is based on fact?" Sheriff John asked.

"Sheriff, I must remind you, you've crossed the line and asked questions you shouldn't have," said the Admiralty officer named Charles.

"Ah," Sheriff John exclaimed in surprise, but he quickly recovered. "Well, it seems there's only one possibility."

"What's possible?"

"A man learns a secret, and for some purpose, he wants to reveal it, but he knows it's dangerous. So he finds this madman, influences him in some way, suggests to him that he has received divine revelation, and then this happens. Hmm, Mr. Charles, I think that's very likely."

"So, can you catch the person who gave him that hint?"

"That's probably difficult," Sheriff John decided to be honest. "First of all, this guy is probably a madman. Anything he says could be a fantasy, just nonsense. We'll have a hard time getting any useful information out of him, and even if we did, we wouldn't be able to use his testimony as evidence against that person in court."

"We don't need evidence, we just need names," Charles replied.

"Even so, it's still very difficult," Inspector John replied. "Frankly, getting valuable information from a madman is beyond our scope of expertise. We have no experience dealing with madmen. And legally, we have no grounds to stop the London Asylum from taking him back. In fact, even if I use every means at my disposal, I can only keep him here for a day or two at most. But that won't actually help the investigation. If you insist on continuing the investigation, I suggest you go directly to the London Asylum. They might be more experienced."

Originally, this matter should have ended up being nothing more than some tabloid gossip. And because this madman's newspapers were published in very limited quantities, it seemed that this matter shouldn't have caused much of a stir.

However, the France newspaper * the Sun * immediately reported this joke in a prominent position in its humor section. But in the report, there was an interesting line. "The interesting thing is, this madman wasn't first found by the people in the mental hospital, but rather arrested by the police for allegedly 'leaking state secrets.' Of course, as for what exactly these 'secrets' were, we haven't found out yet because its circulation is too small. If any readers have actually seen it, please write to us so we can also learn something new."

The Sun's report was just the beginning; then the England Free Press Alliance followed suit, placing the story in its regular news section. Their aim, of course, was freedom of speech.

"A madman wrote some fantasies, which should have been easily dismissed with a laugh. But our police department has made a big fuss about arresting him, even using violence to force a confession... Today they can arrest a madman for writing a piece of nonsense, torture him severely, and destroy his ravings; tomorrow, to cover up a scandal like the Lancet incident, they can tie the journalists who exposed the scandal to stakes and burn them alive with their newspapers that revealed the truth. As a France newspaper, * the Sun * can go back to France in the future, so they only see the joke, but we are almost sleepless with worry and fear."

Meanwhile, businessmen from the textile industry Federation also became active, constantly visiting members of parliament to inquire about the situation and demanding that they dutifully protect their interests while accepting their money.