Renovations

After the Canada launched their aggressive attack, the United States realized it was best not to rely on urban warfare. Otherwise, who knew if those barbaric Britain might resort to their old tricks and burn Pittsburgh down with incendiary bombs? United States cities at that time were mostly developed through primitive means, filled with cheap wooden houses. If attacked with incendiary bombs, it would truly be like the advertisement for Bonaparte Arsenal's Vulcan (Rome god of fire) lighters. "Lights instantly, always catches fire."

So, on the advice of France advisors, the American army had already built fortifications along the road north of Pittsburgh to Cleveland and used them for defense. At this time, the American army numbered nearly 40,000, while the British Army advancing towards them numbered only 25,000, and most of them were just militia, like the Americans.

However, the France advisors looked down on the United States. They firmly believed that if the United States left their fortifications and engaged the British Army in open battle, even if they outnumbered the Americans, the Britain would easily defeat them. This was because, although the Britain were also mainly composed of militia, most of their Britain and platoon-level officers had experience fighting on the Europe continent or in Ireland.

Conversely, the United States militia, at best, had some experience bullying Native Americans; they were mostly just hot-blooded and reckless. As the France advisors put it, "They weren't real soldiers; they didn't even understand the most basic tactics." And the junior officers were often the guarantee of combat effectiveness. Therefore, the France advisors insisted that the United States troops should just stay in their trenches and not go out and act like clowns.

United States were quite unconvinced by the France assessment of them. Many felt the France were exaggerating. The Britain had gained some advantage, but that was mainly because they were facing Northerners. Although the United States at that time only had thirteen states, regional discrimination between them still existed. In fact, most countries have similar issues. For example, the Kanto and Kansai regions of Nehemiah, or the South and North of the United States.

The American troops this time were mainly state soldiers who had been reinforced from the Southern states. The American South had always looked down on the Yankees, considering them cowardly and stupid men who couldn't fight. Therefore, although the Britain had easily defeated the American forces in the previous two battles, because they had defeated the "Yankees," the Southerners weren't too surprised, and some even thought, "Yankees really are all sissies who can't fight."

These Southerners didn't even take the France advisors seriously. Although everyone said the French Army was invincible, many arrogant Southerners felt that it wasn't anything special. After all, they had seen the French Army before.

Of course, given their age, it was impossible for them to have participated in the War of Independence or fought alongside Lafayette's French Army. Their knowledge of the French Army came entirely from their fathers, those who had actually participated in the War of Independence.

However, there is a serious problem here: veterans all over the world share a common hobby, which is to boast. As the saying goes, "A veteran's mouth is like the water of the ocean." When they start to boast, the foam is much finer and richer than the best beer in the world.

So in their accounts, the France certainly helped a little, playing a minor, insignificant role. But the War of Independence was mainly won by ourselves. Hmm, the France? They were very brave in battle, but a bit arrogant. Actually, they weren't as good as your father. Well, of course, they were still much better than those Yankees. Let me tell you, those Yankees...

This is actually quite normal. The older generation, after all, wouldn't be considered elders if they didn't boast to the younger generation. But the problem is, the younger generation doesn't realize that their elders were mostly exaggerating; they think it's true. Now, on the battlefield, all they think about is launching a fierce attack on the Britain, like the valiant Lion King charging towards a pack of vile, ugly, and shameful spotted hyenas. The result, of course, is that the Lion King swiftly defeats the hyenas, once again proving that American South are born warriors.

However, those despicable France looked down on them, believing that even two against one, they were no match for the Britain —no, no, the Canada. This was utterly outrageous. They were treating them like easily defeated Yankees!

Of course, if that were all, it wouldn't be so bad. After all, when the time comes on the battlefield, everyone can launch a fierce charge and completely crush those Canada, then let's see what those despicable France can say. Thinking about it that way, those small slave owners actually felt quite satisfied.

However, what happened next nearly made these proud southern slave owners explode. The France actually demanded that they dig in the ground like lowly slaves—was this something a noble warrior should do? Then they ordered everyone to hide in trenches during battle. And their reason was that doing so would greatly reduce the chances of enemy bullets hitting them.

Mathematically, this statement is certainly sound. However, it is extremely cowardly, unprofessional, and disrespectful. First of all, as everyone knows, on the battlefield, bullets have eyes; they specifically target cowards, while bullets will dodge those who are fearless heroes. Therefore, on the battlefield, facing a hail of bullets, hiding is useless; only by bravely charging forward can one avoid being shot down.

Secondly, what determines a person's fate on the battlefield? Of course, individual effort plays a role, but isn't the more crucial factor God's will? If God deems someone unfit to die, can any bullet defy His will and strike them? If God feels the need for someone to come to heaven for a chat, can they simply bury their head in the sand and remain untouched by bullets? Therefore, anyone attempting to dodge bullets using trenches or similar structures is an impious individual unwilling to trust in God. It's like in later generations, devout believers would never wear masks during a plague, nor would they stop gathering to listen to sermons because of the nonsense spouted by impious scientists. They would simply place their hands on the Bible and command the virus to retreat, just as they would command evil spirits to retreat.

So, although the Southern slave owners reluctantly dug trenches under the heavy pressure of military orders, the quality of the trenches was a complete mess. Various shortcuts were taken, and neither the depth nor the number of bends met the requirements. This infuriated the France advisors, who strongly demanded that they redo the work. However, the France were only advisors and had no authority to give direct orders, while General Andrew, the American commander, worried that forcing the soldiers to redo the work would cause a mutiny. Thus, the fortifications remained as they were.

Because of a lack of understanding of military development, the US military also encountered problems in terms of equipment. The US military has rifled guns and rifled cannons, but it lacks some seemingly inconspicuous but very critical items, such as barbed wire and landmines.

Although the France advisors strongly demanded barbed wire and landmines, urging the United States to immediately scavenge or order these items, they proved difficult to acquire in the short term. Even in Louisiana, supplies were scarce. The barbed wire had been bought by the French, who typically spoke more German than France, to protect their homes from bison. The landmines had all been sold to the Mexico. Therefore, at this time, these two crucial items were truly unavailable.

Under these conditions, with the help of France advisors, the US military deployed a flawed "Joseph Defense." Even so, the France advisory group still believed that, with their numerical superiority and the generally high morale of the US troops, they should be able to hold off the British Army here.

However, the course of the battle completely stunned the France advisory group.

When the British Army launched their attack, the American troops were relatively well-behaved, remaining in their trenches and firing (a result of the trenches not being deep enough). However, lacking landmines, barbed wire, and of course, Claymore, artillery (the United States didn't have many shrapnel shells) and rifles alone was insufficient to stop the enemy's advance. After suffering some casualties, the Canada eventually closed in on the American trenches.

At this point, if there were barbed wire, they would be trapped and become easy targets; if there were Claymore, they could be riddled with steel balls. But what if the enemy had already closed in without these things? The answer would be to immediately charge with bayonets and drive them back.

This plan was also approved by the France advisory group. So the small slave owners fixed bayonets and rushed out of the trenches where they had long since stopped wanting to squat.

With their numerical advantage, the American troops gained the upper hand in the bayonet fighting, and the Canada began to retreat. According to the original plan, if the Canada retreated, the American troops should return to their positions and continue holding them. But those small slave owners were no longer willing to stay in the trenches. They felt this was a chance to completely defeat the Britain and show those cowardly, disloyal France how the truly world-class army fought. So these guys pursued them.

If it were just these guys catching up, it wouldn't have been so bad, since there were other troops behind them, and the Americans outnumbered them anyway. But to the France's surprise, the Southerners who were holding their positions in the trenches, upon seeing their comrades catching up, spontaneously jumped out of their trenches without waiting for orders and launched a charge.

Then... then after charging some distance, they were met with a barrage of shrapnel from the British Army artillery, suffering heavy casualties. But these small slave owners were stubborn; they stubbornly continued charging forward despite the losses, only to be ambushed and killed multiple times by the cunning Britain with their knock-off Claymore. Their assault formation crumbled. The Britain, of course, wouldn't let this opportunity pass; they immediately threw in over a thousand cavalry. The American troops were routed. They fled back to their own lines, and the Britain followed them, attacking relentlessly.

The tactical skills of those small slave owners were actually terrible. At this point, they were only concerned with running back to their own positions, which inadvertently provided cover for the British Army behind them. This infuriated the France advisors, who suggested opening fire directly on them. Of course, the France advice was not adopted. The consequence of this was that the entire American defense was disrupted by their own rout. The British Army took advantage of this and launched a fierce attack with their main force, crushing the American forces once again.

Pittsburgh was naturally indefensible, and in the end, General Andrew escaped back to Washington with only a little over a thousand men. Among these thousand men, more than a hundred were members of the France advisory group. (The France all had horses, and they ran faster than most United States.)

From Pittsburgh to Washington, there were no longer any organized United States troops left. No one could stop the British Army. The France advisory group also believed that, under the current circumstances, there was no possibility of holding Washington. President Jefferson had no choice but to urgently move his government to Richmond in the south. No sooner had they left than Britain cavalry appeared on the outskirts of Washington.

The arrival of Britain cavalry threw Washington into chaos, and citizens fled the Washington in droves. So, a few days later, when the main British Army forces arrived in Washington, it had become a ghost town.

In its original history, the Britain set fire to the United States residence, blackening the entire building. Later, after the United States returned to Washington, to cover up the damage, they painted the entire residence white, thus creating the "United States White House." So, the White House appears white on the outside, but underneath it's all black. Indeed, this is very United States.

However, in that timeline, the Britain, or rather the Canada, burned down the White House because the United States first set a fire in Toronto. In this timeline, the United States never had the opportunity to burn down Toronto. Therefore, the Canada did not burn down the United States presidential palace.

But the Canada weren't idle. They launched a graffiti competition at United States Presidential Palace. Feeling the United States decor was utterly tasteless, they helped renovate it in a postmodern style. For example, a new message appeared on the wall of the President's office. "Dear United States, we'll be back often to check on your 'Art of War' studies."