To pay off my debts, I became Hokage!
Author: Deep Sea Snake Skin Fish
Synopsis:
[Please become Hokage to activate the system, host.]
Uchiha Chonhua, a cute little boy with skinny arms and legs, glanced at the signature symbol on his shirt: a ping-pong paddle.
"...Are you sure?"
[You can take out a loan.]
Many years later, Uchiha Chonhua sat in the Hokage's seat and sighed.
"I didn't want to, either. But to pay off my debts, I had no choice but to become Hokage."
Volume One
Chapter 1: No-Sweat System
[Please become Hokage to activate the system, host.]
A mechanical voice sounded in his ear. Uchiha Chonhua's face filled with helplessness.
He looked at his skinny arms and legs, then at the mirror on the wardrobe.
A handsome boy with red lips and pearly teeth... No, a handsome little boy, with ink-black eyes that held a hint of speechlessness.
"...Do I look like someone who can become Hokage right now?"
"Besides, my last name is Uchiha."
Uchiha Chonhua wore a high-collared, short-sleeved shirt identical to the one Uchiha Sasuke had worn as a child. On its back was the clan crest, which the clan called a fire fan, though to him it looked like a ping-pong paddle.
"You want an Uchiha to become Hokage? System, you've got some nerve."
As everyone knew, the Uchiha Clan and the Senju Clan had founded the Hidden Leaf Village together.
As one of the founding clans, plenty of adults in the clan believed they deserved a share of the Hokage Position!
Though he couldn't figure out how the Uchiha Clan, which had lost to the Senju Clan, had come up with the ridiculous idea that they deserved a share of it.
Had Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara's bromance given them the wrong impression?
Or had the alliance between the Senju Clan and the Uchiha Clan made them think that the Uchiha Clan hadn't actually lost—that the two sides had been evenly matched, trading blows and suffering equal losses until they reached a stalemate, and had only formed an alliance for the safety of their clansmen, the peace of the Land of Fire, and the peace of the Ninja World?
If they really thought that, the Uchiha Clan shouldn't be called the Clan of the Crazed. They should just call themselves the Clan of the Idiots!
However you looked at it, in short—
After Senju Hashirama, who had only ever reacted strongly to threats against the village and treated everyone else with equal, boundless compassion, passed away—
The Second Hokage Tobirama Senju and his successor, the Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi, both kept the Uchiha Clan on their guard, though to varying degrees.
An Uchiha becoming Hokage?
Shimura Danzō would flash a vicious grin, Sarutobi Hiruzen would watch silently with a kindly smile, and Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu would give an expressionless thumbs-up in their hearts.
What a death sentence!
[Once you become Hokage and activate the system, host, you'll have nothing to fear. It'll be no sweat!]
The system's voice still sounded mechanical, but Uchiha Chonhua could almost hear the swaggering confidence behind it: "The Konoha High Council? Nothing but targets waiting to be picked off."
"...But I'm not capable enough. I think you should find another host."
It was the twenty-seventh year since Konoha's founding. Unless something unexpected happened, the Second Shinobi World War was already brewing.
He said he wasn't capable enough, but that didn't mean he was completely useless. He just clearly wasn't a genius.
To become Hokage, he'd need to accomplish great things and build up his reputation. Otherwise, who would accept him as Hokage?
Even if he forced his way into the palace wearing a sword, walked into court without hurrying, and demanded not to be announced by name, he'd still need the overwhelming strength to make those who objected fall in line.
"I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm actually thinking about how to become Hokage."
Uchiha Chonhua came back to himself. Had the system's words gotten to him?
"Rather than thinking about becoming Hokage, I should be figuring out how to survive the upcoming Second Shinobi World War."
[Host, as long as you become Hokage and obtain Ninja World Character Cards, no war will be any trouble!]
"...Ninja World Character Cards? Don't tell me you're a gacha system that makes people spend money."
The system fell silent.
All right. Uchiha Chonhua was sure of it now. This was definitely a gacha system.
"System, what if I tried being 'Hokage: The One-Man Show'?"
[...Host, the system doesn't accept bug exploits.]
"Tsk."
Uchiha Chonhua thought the system wasn't progressive enough. It needed to be more flexible!
"Then there's no helping it. I like supernatural powers—breathing fire, lightning in my palm, all the things I dreamed about as a chuunibyou kid. But if I lose my life because I make one wrong move, it's not worth it."
After thinking it over, Uchiha Chonhua's eyes lit up. He knocked his fist against his palm. "I've decided! I'll follow in my father's footsteps and become a Tempura Sage!"
[Host, don't give up!]
The system grew anxious. Uchiha Chonhua could feel its distress.
[I've got it, host! I thought of a way!]
"Oh?" Uchiha Chonhua paused. "I was wrong about you. You do want to improve. Tell me, what's the plan?"
[You can borrow against the number of ninja ranks you'll attain to obtain Ninja World Character Cards. As long as you draw a powerful Ninja World Character Card, becoming Hokage will be no sweat!]
"I think you should just call yourself the No-Sweat System."
Uchiha Chonhua made a quip, then continued, "What do you mean by 'ninja ranks'?"
[Academy Student, Genin, Chunin, and Jonin. Four ranks, four draws.]
"Academy Students count as ninjas?"
[Strictly speaking, they don't. They don't even have Forehead Protectors... But, host, the question is whether you want the draws or not.]
[I can cancel the offer for you.]
"Wait, don't cancel it. Leave it as it is."
Uchiha Chonhua quickly stopped it. He didn't have many draws to begin with. If he lost another one, he'd beat his chest in regret.
"Let me ask you this: once I become Hokage and activate the system, how does the draw mechanic work?"
[After you become Hokage, host, the system can connect to the ninja mission system. D-rank missions give you 1 Primogem, C-rank missions 10 Primogems, B-rank missions 100 Primogems, and A-rank missions 1,000 Primogems.]
[Friendly reminder: the system prevents bug exploits. You can't set the mission rank yourself.]
"...Did you just say Primogems?"
Uchiha Chonhua's expression turned odd.
[It's for ease of understanding, for ease of understanding.]
"You prevent bug exploits, but you let me take out a loan?"
[How can a loan be considered a bug?]
The system thought its host didn't want to improve. It had already compromised this much!
"What happens if I still can't become Hokage and can't repay the loan?"
[You'll become part of the system. But unlike naturally born systems like me, a system made from a host who works off a debt will have very poor treatment.]
"How bad?"
[Very bad. Leaving aside the compound interest, if the system made from a host fails to repay the loan by the deadline, its intelligence will be erased and it'll become a purely automated system.]
"Yikes." Uchiha Chonhua sucked in a sharp breath.
You called that "very bad"? That was the end of him!
Uchiha Chonhua took a deep breath and composed himself. He'd better think this through carefully.
"System, what benefits do you get from obtaining Primogems?"
Although the consequences of failing to repay the loan were dire, Uchiha Chonhua decided to ask some more questions, just to be careful.
He had to make sure he wasn't getting ripped off.
[Host, you actually suspect the system!]
Uchiha Chonhua could already imagine the system stomping its feet like Paimon.
It was angry, but what could it do about the host it had picked? Of course it had to forgive him!
[The system can save up the Primogems and use them to upgrade itself.]
"...Huh?"
Chapter 2: My Turn, Draw!
[The system doesn't know how Primogems are made, either. It only knows that the senior systems in the great system made this mechanism together. Don't worry about things that make the system's head hurt.]
You have a head to get a headache?
Uchiha Chonhua just couldn't keep that sarcastic remark in.
[Anyway, after you become Hokage, host, complete lots of missions to earn Primogems, then exchange them for draws. That's the reward the system has prepared for you. The system will save its Primogems to buy upgrade packs. You win, the system wins. It's a win-win!]
"...I think I'd rather exchange the Primogems."
The system ignored its host's words.
[Confirmed: the host is currently an Academy Student. Activating loan mechanism. Current Primogem balance: -10,000 Primogems.]
[Host, would you like to draw?]
Uchiha Chonhua didn't speak. He sat cross-legged on the bed and thought for a long time.
Academy Student, Genin, Chunin, and Jonin: four chances to draw, for a total of 40,000 Primogems.
If he could become Hokage, 40,000 Primogems wasn't much. He'd be able to pay it off after a while.
But if he couldn't become Hokage...
Uchiha Chonhua pictured himself turning into a "mechanical, clank-clank, mechanical" thing and shuddered, a chill running down his spine.
Hokage...
Wait. Uchiha Chonhua suddenly remembered that he was an Uchiha.
Uchiha Chonhua stood in front of the wardrobe mirror and turned around to look at his back, at the Uchiha ping-pong-paddle clan crest.
"That's right. I'm an Uchiha."
Thinking of the Uchiha Clan's massacre decades in the future, Uchiha Chonhua came to a sudden realization.
What was there to think about?
Never mind. Draw! He'd draw the damn thing!
"My turn, draw!"
As soon as the words left his mouth, the world before his eyes changed.
A virtual screen appeared in front of him. The familiar blue sky and white clouds. The familiar streak of light, like a shooting star. And an unfamiliar golden glow.
A bad review. He got blue and purple light all the time.
After a burst of sound effects, a character appeared before Uchiha Chonhua.
He wore an Akatsuki cloak patterned with red clouds. His black hair flowed down his back, tied into a small ponytail. A slash cut across the Forehead Protector from Konoha.
His face was calm, with two tear troughs. His Three-Tomoe Sharingan glowed a brilliant, sinister red.
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