The Laws of the Shinobi World

After Akashi became Lord Orochimaru's research assistant, it didn't add much to his workload. He still ate and drank as usual, and never missed a training session or a mission.

All he had to do was get to the lab as soon as possible whenever Orochimaru summoned him.

The research assignments were easy most of the time. He could get by with submitting a report every three days or so, and the pay was generous.

No wonder Orochimaru was such a successful entrepreneur, with so many people following him.

He was willing to spend the money!

Everyone in the lab was busy with their own work.

Akashi flipped through Orochimaru's experimental data while proofreading it.

Anko sat cross-legged beside him, scratching her head in frustration.

She was doing problems.

Ever since Akashi had arrived, Orochimaru was always praising him, which made Anko terribly envious. In her eyes, Orochimaru was an idol. How could she let Akashi have all the "favor"?

So she'd asked Akashi to share a few tips.

In return, she'd gotten a thick stack of calculation problems. She'd been working on them for ages, and her head was about to split, yet she'd only finished two pages.

"Argh, this is so hard!"

Anko couldn't stand it anymore and groaned.

"What's wrong? You said you wanted to impress Lord Orochimaru. Can't even handle problems this simple?" Akashi glanced at her.

"I... I..." Anko stammered. "These problems are totally useless!"

"Then what do you think is useful?"

Akashi asked in return.

Anko's eyes lit up. She closed the difficult workbook and spoke softly, mustering her courage. "Obviously, learning powerful jutsu!"

"Powerful jutsu?" Akashi raised an eyebrow.

Generally speaking, students who graduated from the Ninja Academy knew very few jutsu. So they had to train by taking beginner missions and learn powerful techniques from their instructor, in what was essentially an apprenticeship.

Once their apprenticeship ended, they could take missions on their own or head to the battlefield.

Even so, ordinary shinobi were little more than cannon fodder.

They couldn't get their hands on the secret techniques of the clans, and it was difficult for them to learn advanced jutsu.

"I know I still have a long way to go..." Anko gave an awkward smile, but her eyes were full of confidence. "But I'll work hard. I absolutely won't let Lord Orochimaru down!"

Work hard?

If hard work were enough, you wouldn't spend your whole life as a Special Jōnin.

Akashi shook his head. "If you don't want to let Lord Orochimaru down, finish the problems first."

Anko blinked at him with innocent, pleading eyes.

"I want to be as strong as you, senpai. Just teach me a few tricks!"

"So that's what you're after. But that's talent. You can't learn it."

Akashi was telling the truth.

Anko was furious inside. She puffed out her cheeks and fell silent, but soon managed to force a bright smile.

"You're the coolest, senpai!"

"You don't have to tell me that." Akashi stopped writing and sighed. "Fine, I'll teach you the laws of the Shinobi World I came up with recently. Once you've mastered them, you might not be able to rule the Shinobi World, but you'll definitely minimize the damage when you get beaten up."

Anko's head filled with question marks. "Why does it have to be getting beaten up...?"

"Because the Shinobi World is terrifying. Danger lurks everywhere. Genin, Chunin, Special Jōnin, Jōnin—the ranks alone have four tiers. Then there are the Kage of the various villages and people as strong as them, not to mention the monsters beyond our understanding. Wherever you go, you might run into someone stronger than you."

Akashi went on, "And there are plenty of crazy people in this world who'll beat you up just because they don't like the look of you."

Anko wasn't entirely convinced. "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"It's actually worse than getting beaten up. You've studied history, right?"

Anko nodded.

"They say the average life expectancy of a shinobi during the Warring States period was around thirty. Guess what it is now?"

Akashi enunciated each word. "Thirty-six."

Anko couldn't help staring in shock.

Ever since she was little, she'd been taught that after the First established the shinobi villages, the wars between clans ended and everyone lived together in peace and prosperity.

But... it seemed like nothing had changed for shinobi.

It was true that the villages had eased tensions between the clans. But they hadn't solved the fundamental conflict between production and demand. The frequent clan disputes were gone, only to be replaced by wars between the great nations on an unprecedented scale.

Anko asked cautiously, "So you could die if you're not careful?"

"Exactly." Akashi spoke as if she were a good student. "That's why the theory I'm teaching you today is important. Listen carefully and take notes. Master the basic laws of the Shinobi World, and you'll have nothing to fear wherever you go."

"Mm-hmm!" Anko nodded vigorously.

She'd never been this attentive at the Ninja Academy.

Was it a technique for controlling chakra?

Or a unique system of jutsu developed by Lord Orochimaru?

Could it be some kind of law for becoming a Jōnin in no time?

The more she thought about it, the more excited she got. She leaned forward, eyes full of curiosity.

But when Akashi spoke his first sentence, she froze.

"Law number one of the Shinobi World: if there's smoke, there's no damage."

"If there's smoke... there's no damage?" Anko's eyes widened.

Akashi emphasized it again. "That's right. If there's smoke, there's no damage. When your opponent is stronger than you or roughly evenly matched, keep this law in mind if an explosion kicks up smoke during the fight. Usually, it won't leave your opponent unable to fight, so stay alert. Be careful."

W-what kind of theory was that? She'd never heard anyone talk about it before...

It was strange, but it also seemed to make a little sense.

"Are you listening?" Akashi saw Anko freeze and waved a hand in front of her face.

"Ah... I'm listening." Anko came back to herself.

Whether it was really useful or not, she might as well memorize it.

Akashi continued, "Law number two: the undressing-and-death law."

"Undressing?" Anko paused again and tugged her jacket tighter.

"Don't worry. This law mostly applies to male shinobi, especially the strong, handsome ones. If they're wearing a uniform, there won't even be time to save them. Come to think of it, you generally shouldn't take your clothes off in a fight. It's a bad omen. Next..."

"The comeback-at-low-health law."

"The hold-back-your-big-move law."

"The Fire Release-doesn't-kill law."

"..."

One unfamiliar theory after another came tumbling out of Akashi's mouth. After listing more than a dozen laws, he still seemed to have plenty to say.

Anko's head was spinning.

She almost felt like he was joking with her.

But the way Akashi delivered his serious-sounding nonsense...

He really was different from the other shinobi!

No teacher had ever taught anything like this. It was no exaggeration to say it was shocking. Anko realized she might, possibly, perhaps, be getting led astray.

At first, she forced herself to accept the theories out of trust in Lord Orochimaru. But as time went on, she gradually became genuinely interested.

She didn't want to admit it, but the more she listened, the more hooked she became.

Sleazy, and thrilling.

When Akashi finished, it felt like a novel ending on a cliffhanger, leaving her desperate for more.

Senpai, I want more...

Anko sat obediently, gazing at Akashi with big, dewy eyes, longing for more knowledge.

"That's enough for today. Are you trying to work me to death?"

Akashi cut himself off in time and waved a hand. "You have plenty to learn from these. They're more practical than a lot of jutsu."

Anko pouted.

She felt like she'd learned a lot, and at the same time, like she hadn't learned anything at all.

Seeing that her senpai was getting impatient, Anko answered in a small voice and bent over her notes to review them.

Just then, Akashi finished sorting the data and stretched. His gaze happened to fall on Orochimaru's examination table and analyzer, sophisticated equipment for collecting samples from the human body.

Orochimaru was the only one who usually used them, and he happened to be away today.

Should I give them a try?

As long as no one found out, nothing would happen. As for the material... The perfect candidate suddenly came to mind.

Akashi looked at Anko.

"Hey, if you think doing problems is boring, want to do something fun tonight?"

"What?"

"Let's run an experiment." Akashi made a mysterious gesture. "After eight o'clock. Just you and me."

"Sure!"

Anko closed her book, instantly perking up.