Warhammer 40K: The Jokester Who Saves the World
Chapter 28

Gulp! Don't Cut It!!!!

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In recent days, a rumor has been circulating among Blackwatch: the former 4th Company Captain Ace was caught cheating at cards against other Dreadnoughts, resulting in his cooling pipes being smashed to bits. To make matters worse, he was discovered by a foul-tempered Primarch, who dragged him to the laboratory and shaved his cool green mohawk into a bald head.

Terrified, the Blackwatch soldiers—who treat their hairstyles as their very lives—have been so shaken that they barely dare to cheat anymore.

The protagonist of our rumor, Ace, is indeed currently bald, though not because Hogg lost money.

To be fair, Ace has had a run of bad luck. During the defense of Aiers, the 4th Company served as the frontline backbone and was completely wiped out. The surviving Ace only clung to life thanks to the powerful regenerative capabilities of Blackwatch; after all, the high heat of plasma is the greatest bane to these self-healing warriors. The sky-darkening plasma fire shattered Ace's body, effectively amputating everything below his neck.

The good news is that he can continue to spill his machine oil fighting for his gene-father; the bad news is that he has bid farewell to his torso. Having completed a self-inflicted "excessive castration," Ace was placed into a Dreadnought as a veteran to assist the newly appointed 4th Company Captain, Ginny, in managing the unit.

But now, even the only cool hairstyle I had left is gone, thought Ace, who had grown a new body but was still soaking in a life-support tank.

For the past few days, Hogg has been completely immersed in the laboratory, aiming to bolster the firepower of the basic squads.

Combining the mainstream weaponry and ammunition of Imperium, he used Predator Missile components to cobble together a man-portable rocket launcher, intending to issue several to every soldier to strengthen their firepower. The remaining time was spent on improving the tactical Dreadnoughts.

To be honest, a tactical Dreadnought is merely a life-support suit for a disabled soldier. Some Space Marine warriors are so battered that they cannot equip power armor for combat and must rely on life-support devices to survive. In such cases, they might be placed into the iron coffin of a Dreadnought to continue fighting.

In truth, entering a Dreadnought is a form of alternative torture; it is not like the cybernetic prosthetics in Cyberpunk 2077 that provide perfect service. The Dreadnoughts in Warhammer are actually quite crude, and pilots often go insane from various causes after staying inside for too long. Furthermore, 30K-era Dreadnoughts are just... mediocre.

Having learned of the general improvement plans for the Ultramarines' tactical Dreadnoughts by Belisarius Cawl in the later ages, Hogg found the preliminary upgrades easy. The crude life-support devices were replaced with more comfortable, anthropomorphic ones, and the Imperial-made cooling systems—which tended to overheat after high-intensity combat—were replaced with the Lizardmen's highly efficient cooling systems.

A set of Greenskin shield generators was added to the thicker armor, the standard-issue heavy bolters and rapid-fire plasma cannons were more than sufficient, and a modular design was adopted to allow for the future installation of additional weapons.

The real difficulty lies in the fragile life-support tank. Even if the pilot's tank is encased in thick ceramite, a crippled pilot cannot escape if the machine is destroyed. However, pilots who can escape have no need to enter a Dreadnought in the first place.

After much deliberation, Hogg decided to break away from the "test-taker" mindset. No matter how much he modified the Dreadnought, it would still be the same. He decided to fix the person instead.

Imperial technology is perfectly capable of mechanically modifying Ace, who is only half a body, into a version of Kamen Rider. Some Tech-Priests probably have less biological tissue left than Ace does.

Hogg decided to embrace change, reduce costs and increase efficiency, fully streamline human resource costs, and attribute value to the Imperial technological structure, allowing Blackwatch soldiers to enjoy the human fantasies of the 3K era.

In short, Hogg, who is proficient in biochemical modification, used his own flesh and alien technology to create a "flesh womb."

According to Hogg's genetic compilation, as long as sufficient nutrients are fed into the intake and a damaged biological body is placed inside, one only needs to pull that giant red lever on the side to print out the missing limbs.

Of course, the newly grown limbs are relatively fragile and perhaps not as powerful as the originals, but with recuperation and sufficient nutrient intake, they can return to their original state.

Actually, Hogg had the technical capability to create such a bio-device long ago, but he halted the plan at the thought of Chaos corruption. However, the Necron technology and Blackstone materials captured at Coral made the development of this plan possible.

[Flesh Reshaping Chamber Model G01] Overall dimensions: 5*5*5 cube. The outer shell is crafted from Blackstone material, featuring an independent triple-jointed energy device to power the onboard micro-spirit-repelling dead zone. The shell is precision-machined via CNC, and the occasional flickering of dark red Psionic Energy highlights its noble technological essence. The interior utilizes standard genetic encoding technology; it only requires the input of labeled biochemical organic materials and continuous power for 1 standard Terra day to provide perfect limb-printing services.

The experimental results were very gratifying: Ace, who had been reduced to just a head, regained his body. However, to become a Space Marine again, he would still need to undergo 19 surgical modifications and the implantation of gene-seeds.

But then the most infuriating problem arose: now that Ace was whole again, he couldn't exactly be cut up and put back into a tactical Dreadnought.

It was at this moment that Hogg, who was half-dead with rage at himself, saw Ace—who had just received his new body—crouching in the corner and giggling like an idiot. He immediately shaved Ace's green buzzcut into a bald head.

Seeing Ace looking like he'd lost his father made Hogg feel much better, but then he remembered that he was the father, so he shaved his hair again and circulated his ugly photos to the entire legion.

"The previous Dreadnought modification plan will have to be revised again." Hogg sighed, feeling much more comfortable.

Before him, the dismantled Dreadnought's scattered parts floated and reassembled as scarlet lightning flared, cables connecting one by one. Since the man was fixed, Hogg's plan was to modify the Dreadnought into an oversized power armor.

The original life-support tank was replaced, and a pilot compartment was crudely installed in the center. As long as a Space Marine with the Black Carapace implant sat inside, the interface equipped with neural links would connect to their nervous system, allowing them to control every movement of the Dreadnought via programmed code, exactly the same as the previous direct-link Dreadnoughts. At the same time, the heavy armor and shields remained installed in front of the cockpit.

When an enemy thinks they have destroyed the tactical Dreadnought, a big guy suddenly jumping out to start the second phase of a boss fight will surely be very interesting.

For the rest of the time, Hogg adjusted the manufacturing parameters of the tactical Dreadnought one by one according to the existing Imperial manufacturing processes. After all, the Imperial Forge Worlds could not conjure things out of thin air like he could; standardization is the foundation of every weapon, and this weapon would surely become the backbone of the legion's individual combat power.

"Father! Can you let me out now?" Ace, who had been soaked in the life-support tank until he was bloated, asked pitifully.

For some reason, Hogg got angry the moment he saw Ace's pathetic look—and it was definitely not because Ace had cheated at cards against him. Walking up to the life-support tank, Hogg looked at Ace, and a sudden idea popped into his head.

"Ace! You know, most of the 4th Company are new recruits, and they really need an elite like you to help with the construction. So, for the sake of your future work, I've decided to give you a hand so you can better integrate into the female soldiers' collective."

Opening the life-support tank, the thoughtful Hogg handed him a towel.

Wiping the residue off his body, Ace was overjoyed. 'As expected, Father loves me.' He hurriedly asked:

"Father, how are you going to help me?"

Patting Ace on the shoulder, Hogg looked like a kind old father as he led him to the front of the Flesh Reshaping Chamber. In a spot Ace didn't notice, a syringe labeled with a potent sedative was jabbed into his neck.

"Father, what are you doing?" Ace, now reduced to a mortal, was quickly drugged, asking the Primarch before him at the very last moment.

"Don't worry, little cub! The surgery will be very successful. When you wake up, the 4th Company will welcome a new Battle Sister."

"Gwah! No! Don't cut it! I was wrong, I'll never cheat at cards again!" Showing not a shred of pity for Ace's screams, Hogg kicked the man into the machine with a massive boot.

"Noisy!" A dark-faced Hogg began inputting data, preparing to craft a pleasing assistant for his little cotton-padded jacket, Ginny.

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