"Hahahaha! Didn't see that coming, did you? Don't think you're the only ones with a few tricks up your sleeves. I, Horus, am no slouch either. See this magnificent head of hair? It's the result of the Luna Wolves' latest product."
Before Horus could finish, he found himself surrounded by a sea of faces. Hogg and Mortarion were among them, eagerly reaching out to tug at his hair and see whether it was an incredibly lifelike wig.
Under everyone's expectant gaze, Hogg opened his mouth and bit down on Horus's head. Horus didn't get mad; he just sat there, perfectly composed. A few seconds later, Hogg hopped down, smacked his lips, and said:
"That's right, it's genuine hair. And I've discovered that his hair follicles are exceptionally healthy. No dandruff, no oil, smooth and free of split ends. It feels even better than Goda's dog fur!"
As the Imperium's undisputed biological Big Mek, if Hogg said there was no problem, then there really was no problem. Horus went on to explain:
"Heh heh, don't underestimate my determination! With so many soldiers forced to wear helmets every day, hair loss and baldness are frequent problems. Even I've been plagued by them.
"So, as soon as I was resurrected, I had my sons start developing a solution. After scouring the market for 80 percent of its hair-care products, we finally created this ultimate twelve-in-one product: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, mouthwash, eye drops, disinfectant, energy drink, engine lubricant, engine fuel, Power Armor cleaner, and even soup base."
As everyone stared in disbelief, Horus reached behind his back and pulled out a small bottle adorned with a chibi portrait of himself, smiling and giving a thumbs-up. He opened it on the spot, downed it in one go, and even blew a bubble.
"See?